Girl Sending Me Mixed Signals

[h2o]

this post may annoy the hell out of some of you. especially since i've been here for almost a year, and it may seem very basic. feel free to shout "read the bible" if that's the most appropriate response. and yes, i am sarging (did 3 approaches today, and setup a casual lunch w/ hb8 for tomorrow), this is not the only girl that i have under potential consideration.

here's the thing. there is this chick in my lab class, she's okay looking, hb7 i'd say.

we're partners for lab, and we've had some mutual kino going. i joke with her a lot, she calls me an assh0le and pushes, slaps me, silly stuff like that. but she's 25 and i'm 21, so it's classified as flirting.

we have okay eyecontact going. i feel very comfortable around her and joking around with her, she's the kind of girl i would date...and i feel she feels quite comfortable around me. i mean, we definitely get in each others' personal space, noticeably close to each other in class. like, a few times our lips have been only like one inch apart...

but, she has a bf.

so...if she has a bf, why the heck all the mixed signals?

here's two more things:

1) she asks questions about me, and when i answer, she tries to validate herself by saying stuff like "oh yeah, i know so and so that's around that area"...i mean, this is usually a sign of someone trying to be liked right? she said stuff like this once or twice.

2) then, the other day, we're supposed to meet for a group project, and she suggests we all exchange phone numbers. class is over, and i decide to give my number to one of the other guys in the group, since he's like the coordinator. she stands beside me for like a good 10 seconds, kind of like expecting me to give her my number.

lastly, we meet for the project the other day. and she has my email. she sends me something about the project that is really minor. i mean, last night, we discussed it and decided not to do much about that particular part of the project. and now she emails me about something so insignificant, and tells me i should call her cell (or email her back). and she also tells me when she gets off work tonight.

--------------------

i guess what i'm saying is, i feel really comfortable around this girl. but is it "friendly" comfort, or is she looking for a fvck buddy? i mean, because i may just be misinterpreting it all.

and to be honest, i could care less if she doesn't wanna fvck...it's just that i feel some chemistry between us for some reason.

thanks for any advice.

 

[h2o]

oh, i forgot to mention. the suggestion she gave in her email to me, pretty much requires that i meet up with her tonight.

she wants to run a printed version of something to kinkos. and supposedly she doesn't have a printer, so i'd have to take the printed file to her, so she can run it into kinkos.

i mean, i can't see how this could be anything other than suggestions that we meet up for a date...because seriously, if she's going to kinkos, she could print the file out over there too.

btw, i'd appreciate any ideas a.s.a.p, since if you guys do think she's interested that i can go ahead and meet up with her tonight.

 

[Create Reality]

Hahahaha! Where there's a Kinko's, there is a Starbucks my friend

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by Create Reality
Hahahaha! Where there's a Kinko's, there is a Starbucks my friend

well, yeah actually the kinkos is right next to a coffee shop...so you're saying i should go ahead and call her up and go for it?

 

[crowes22]

Hmm, No way for us to tell you if she is interested. All that stuff seems on the fence to me, like it could go either way. What does she say about the BF?

 

[flexion_]

Well you have to make a move - its the only way to find out what is going on. Ask her to do something clearly not school related and see how she reacts - that will give you your answer. Only risk is that it may be a bit ackward in labs afterwards if she isn't interested.

GL

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by crowes22
Hmm, No way for us to tell you if she is interested. All that stuff seems on the fence to me, like it could go either way. What does she say about the BF?

well, i never personally asked about her having a bf. but she has mentioned it...like she says "yeah, (bf's name) does this or that"

he plays college football. yeah, i'm no match for that, lol.

 

[crowes22]

Not enough specific info here for me to give direct advice on this particular situation, sorry. I just don't want to steer you wrong and then have some linebacker running you down ready to kill you.

I'm gonna have to stick w/ what I persnally have dealt with. A girl w/ BF that wants you will make it abundantly clear that she does. You'd have to be headless to miss it. That being said, I've missed it. Back in my nice guy days, I didn't think right(no nice guy does), and therefore missed some chances. Read what Pook wrote here. He is right.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showth...20&pagenumber=1

Good luck.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by crowes22
Not enough specific info here for me to give direct advice on this particular situation, sorry. I just don't want to steer you wrong and then have some linebacker running you down ready to kill you.

I'm gonna have to stick w/ what I persnally have dealt with. A girl w/ BF that wants you will make it abundantly clear that she does. You'd have to be headless to miss it. That being said, I've missed it. Back in my nice guy days, I didn't think right(no nice guy does), and therefore missed some chances. Read what Pook wrote here. He is right.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showth...20&pagenumber=1

Good luck.

hey that link isn't working do you know the name of the post/thread?

thanks though, i appreciate it.

 

[crowes22]

Yes, go to tips, look for a thread titled .........err, I'm no expert........

something close to that, look for my reply.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by crowes22
Yes, go to tips, look for a thread titled .........err, I'm no expert........

hey thanks, i read that...

..and, well, she hasn't told me how she "feels" about her bf...in fact, reading through that thread kind of makes me feel like she uses her bf as social proof simply. she doesn't really express any emotion when mentioning him. and, funny thing is, she never told me directly that she has a bf...we sit at tables of 4, and it's come up in our off-topic group conversations, but she never said it 'to me' she did to the other two guys at the table...but never directly to me ...though i am a bit more reserved at times

nonetheless, i'm pretty sure she's aware that i know she has a bf.

i guess i can't really convey it well enough to others, and i would be the one to really know my own situation best.

eh...i'm way too tired right now anyway to feel like going anywhere, especially if there is a slight chance i'm mistaken here...it's not worth getting off my fatigued ass at the moment.

but maybe since tomorrow is our last class i'll suggest to her that we hang out or something later... and see how she responds to that.

i don't mind having a new female friend, if that's the least to come out of it.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by crowes22
I'm gonna have to stick w/ what I persnally have dealt with. A girl w/ BF that wants you will make it abundantly clear that she does. You'd have to be headless to miss it.

yeah, in retrospect, i'm pretty sure i missed this one too. as much as it could have been on the fence, she wasn't this way to anyone else, and usually a girl won't make the moves...and moreso since she has a bf. i think our flirting/tension was even obvious to other people in the class.

i still have her number, but i played hard to get for so long that i would feel awkward calling her up and pursuing all of a sudden.

eh, lesson learned though...

...it bothered me that she had a bf who seemed to be a better competition than me. i was confused as to why she would want to screw me if she's got him, who's probably in perfect physical shape. i am, on the other hand, pretty slim...i bulked before, but lost quite a bit of weight. she's also more like an hb8 actually.

so in the end, it came down to insecurity and questioning myself. who knows, her bf could be abusive and have a bunch of problems in their relationship. idk. i'll definitely go for it next time though, and not compare myself to anyone else. i think others should take heed and not compare themselves to anyone else.

 

[dannyc]

Just get her as a friend man, if she makes the first move then obviously dont be gay about it but otherwise dont make a move.

I actually recently became friends with a HB9 whos married and its quite cool having a girl friend. I feel like i can let her know more about anything than to my actual buddies.. dont know why.. maybe coz shes a girl. But seriously try to get her as a friend, ive never had a girl friend ever coz ive never seen the point buts it cool.

 

[TesuqueRed]

There's a lot of territory between friends and fvckbuddies.

She sounds like she's interested imo.

She could be keeping you in development -- on the back burner, so-to-speak, in case things with BF don't work out. That's common.

She could be looking to trade up.

She could just be attracted, wants to explore what's between you and thinks she can keep it under control. She is either clear in her mind she's doing this or just acting instinctually without having thought it through. The effect is the same, though.

Rapo player. Doesn't sound like it, but that's always a possibility.

She could be looking for a dalliance so long as she gets to keep her bF and you be discrete about it.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

What really sticks out is that she touches him a lot which is a buying signal unless she's an AW.

Trust me, If she's into you she will chase you. Don't chase her, chasing women with boyfriends is AFC. I've been in this situation many times before and one thing I've noticed about girls with boyfriends is that they will make it BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that she wants you to steal her away from her current bf. She will come on to you in a way that will leave you without any doubts.

Right now you're handling the situation perfectly-keep up the challenge and mystery.When she starts showing a high IL you MUST pull away, act as if she is not your only option (even better if you don't NEED to act). Eventually, she will reach a point where she can't take it any longer and she'll begin to hint about the two of you hanging out one-on-one and this will be the time to strike, but remember she must suggest it not you and if she doesn't who cares.

 

[Survivor]

First of all, there's no such thing as mixed signals. Remember the old rule,"Anything other than yes is no?" I believe that applies no matter how advanced you think your "game" is.

I'd recommend waiting till the two of you are alone, then making a blatant, obvious move.

But before you do it, please decide if gaining a potential HB7 FB is worth risking what seems like a pretty good friendship with a nice girl.

Stop mixing her signals, my friend....

 

[Craig Reeves]

No way...

Don't waste your time, my friend. You said she had a boyfriend. She isn't interested in you because if she was, she would have broken up with him.

I would just find somebody else or at least wait until she's done with her boyfriend before moving in.