girl seing another dude, wtf?

[pyros]

TheCWord, thanks for the advise.

She did not come to see me on purpose (I guess) she was going to that salsa club anyway because some of her salsa friends from the dinner were there. I did not know that some of my salsa friends are her friends too.
These ppl organised dinner + salsa club. She did not joined us for dinner but came afterwards.

Or maybe she wasnt going to come at all and when she saw me in those pictures she decided to go, join her friends, and see me lol.

And she did not stalked me online, she was checking that whatsapp group and they uploaded some pictures and in one of them it was me with a girl. She saw it and got surprised, asked me about the girl etc etc hehehe.

 

[hudpes]

Personally, I would dance with her, but she would have to be very persuasive for me to make another move after the sh!t she's pulled.

You ask a girl for a number with the intention of taking her on a date.

She gives you her number.
You ask her out on a date.
She says ok, but she's seeing someone.

This means that you would be a contender, but she's not sure how things with that other dude will pan out. You are her backup. I would not wish to go after her, you can not win. If you do end up with her, you might lose her quite the same way in a phase of a relationship where she's just not that sure about it.

I hate being a backup. So much in fact, I'd just turn away, even if she's a 10.

 

[Jair213]

Personally I wouldn't give a sh!ttt.

If she agrees to go out and meet you, that's telling you something. Game her, try to get the seks. End offf..

 

[TheCWord]

TheCWord, thanks for the advise.

She did not come to see me on purpose (I guess) she was going to that salsa club anyway because some of her salsa friends from the dinner were there. I did not know that some of my salsa friends are her friends too.
These ppl organised dinner + salsa club. She did not joined us for dinner but came afterwards.

Or maybe she wasnt going to come at all and when she saw me in those pictures she decided to go, join her friends, and see me lol.

And she did not stalked me online, she was checking that whatsapp group and they uploaded some pictures and in one of them it was me with a girl. She saw it and got surprised, asked me about the girl etc etc hehehe.

Assume the sale, pyros.

I think your IL detector is just broken, dude. It's wires are completely crossed. You've posted many threads on here about girls who are clearly not interested in you, but you don't realize it. Now you're posting about a girl who, based on your account of things, is giving off signs of interest, but you don't realize it.

Maybe she didn't outright stalk you, but consider this: when she saw your picture, she didn't have to text you. When she saw you at the club, she didn't have to chat with you. After you texted her that you were leaving, she didn't have to text back. These are all signs of medium to high interest, in the same way that your other girls who took 24hrs to respond to your texts showed signs of low or no interest.

All this time I thought you were ignoring our advice while repeating the same mistakes, now I'm starting to think its a neurological condition. In that case, here is your guide until you can get electroshock therapy to treat that problem: if you think she may be interested, she's not. If you think she's not interested, she is.

It is just as important to recognize signs of high interest as it is to be on alert for signs of low interest. Now all you have to do is pay attention to the signs she's giving you, apparently reverse them in your head, then ACT accordingly. Act = engage and escalate with high interest, next the low interest. Or, pyros translation = engage and escalate with low interest, next with high interest.

You're Costanza! Do the opposite!

 

[pyros]

hahahhahaha, ok ok TheCWord.

Btw, that girl that always takes 24h or more to reply...we went on three dates (funy thing is that when I text her to arrange the date details, she replies within a few hours max).

First date ok, second date very good (great time, heavy makeout), third date so-so (she suddenly "had to wake up early in the morning", medium makeout). I texted her and this time she took two days to reply, gave me a lame excuse about why she took so long, and asked me how I was doing etc. Isn't she a crazy b-itch?

I got fed up so I am not contacting her anymore unless she decides to do it. Wtf?? this scenario never happened to me before, they are either interested or not interested.

Any opinion about this chick? I am pretty sure she's still dating or seing some bf or something.

 

[pyros]

TheCWord, SHE REJECTED MY KISS:

so this chick sent me a pic of herself this morning out of the blue. I thought it was a very good sign.

Then, in the evening we went on a date.
We grabbed a beer, and had a great time. We laughed a lot, she grabbed my arm, and touched it several times even hugged it. After it we went for a walk, she started to chew a gum so I thought it was a good indicator that she wanted to be kissed.
We sat on a bench, I played a bit with her hair...and I went for the kiss and she rejected me. I acted cool though.

We kept talking and we walked a bit more...and around 15 mins later I tried again when I was saying good-bye and she rejected it again and told me:

her: "I told you I'm getting to know another guy"

WTF??!! I got many indicators of interest but she rejected me in the end??? whaaaaat???? is she crazy?
she sent me a damn pic of herself this morning, this evening we laughed a lot, she hugged my arm, she could have ended the date early, she could have not wanted to sit on the bench (here it was clear that I was gonna kiss her), she could have made distance between me and her when I touched her hair etc....but she didnt. Whaaattt da f-u-ck???

 

[Tiguere]

Keep trying... Did you playfully slap her @ss??? Did you playfully lift her up and spin her around??? Those are things that stirred women's emotions.

 

[pyros]

Keep trying... Did you playfully slap her @ss??? Did you playfully lift her up and spin her around??? Those are things that stirred women's emotions.

keep trying?????? I just had two girls that rejected my kiss in the past, and it went nowhere.
I teased her and played with her hands, even gave her a small

 

[TheCWord]

TheCWord, SHE REJECTED MY KISS:

so this chick sent me a pic of herself this morning out of the blue. I thought it was a very good sign.

Then, in the evening we went on a date.
We grabbed a beer, and had a great time. We laughed a lot, she grabbed my arm, and touched it several times even hugged it. After it we went for a walk, she started to chew a gum so I thought it was a good indicator that she wanted to be kissed.
We sat on a bench, I played a bit with her hair...and I went for the kiss and she rejected me. I acted cool though.

We kept talking and we walked a bit more...and around 15 mins later I tried again when I was saying good-bye and she rejected it again and told me:

her: "I told you I'm getting to know another guy"

WTF??!! I got many indicators of interest but she rejected me in the end??? whaaaaat???? is she crazy?
she sent me a damn pic of herself this morning, this evening we laughed a lot, she hugged my arm, she could have ended the date early, she could have not wanted to sit on the bench (here it was clear that I was gonna kiss her), she could have made distance between me and her when I touched her hair etc....but she didnt. Whaaattt da f-u-ck???

Overall, I think you gotta chill out. Not just specifically with this girl. I mean in general: relax. You get too worked up, with your bold font and feeling indignant, demanding that female behavior make sense.

Watch this clip of Matt McConoughey telling the story of Woody Harrlesons advice on what to do when you have a problem. (Spoiler: he says "just forget about it"). http://youtu.be/amPf3bxn-to

Okay. As for this girl. It doesn't sound like it was doomsday or anything. Especially with that wording, "she's getting to know" another guy. It's worthy of one (and only one) more chance, if (and only if) she contacts you first.

So here's what to do: don't contact her. Wait for her to contact you. I suspect she will. When she does, don't get too deep into small talk, ask her if she's free to do something on Xday or Yday. If she says she's busy with no counter offer, then we're done here. If she says yes - or no but gives a counter offer - then you go out again, have all your laughs and everything, and go for the kiss once more. If she gives you the cheek again then we're done here. Be a gentleman as you wrap the date up then never contact or reply to her again.

If she gives you the cheek again and you feel like being bold, I'll tell ya what I would do. I'd make sure I've got a good read on the situation, then pull her in and give her a major fckin kiss. That is up to you and your comfort/confidence level, though. And your ability to know when a girl wants to be kissed. If she shrugs that one off too then you proceed just as above.

 

[pyros]

Ok, seems like a good advise.

but what the fuc-k? really...

 

[TheCWord]

but what the fuc-k? really...

Chicks, man.

Just forget about it.

 

[GS750]

She's got two guys she's into. Both of them are into her. Chasing after her and acting needy is going to work against you. Let her initiate. Ask her out again. If she refuses, you never ask again.

 

[_sideways_]

Pyros....it could be that ur dates are a bit too boring...maybe ur being too gentlemanly...

could be that these chicks are just bored and out for a beer and a chat....dislike those types.

I say this with friendship because u are getting a lot of dates...so maybe something is lacking during the date where they're not getting the tingles...

step up the macho sexy bro...

sitting on a bench is kinda childish if u ask me...unless I had already slept with her...

 

[pyros]

Pyros....it could be that ur dates are a bit too boring...maybe ur being too gentlemanly...

could be that these chicks are just bored and out for a beer and a chat....dislike those types.

I say this with friendship because u are getting a lot of dates...so maybe something is lacking during the date where they're not getting the tingles...

step up the macho sexy bro...

sitting on a bench is kinda childish if u ask me...unless I had already slept with her...

well, I just did it so we could be sitting next to each other. Actually, it is the third time I do it in my life. But anyway, Im not doing the bench thing anymore. I'll finish the date and kiss her when we're saying good-bye.

It was not boring. It was a first date, it took 1:55 hours (a bit more than what I planned), and we laughed a lot, and as I said above, she hugged my arm, grabbed my hands to show me something etc. I grabbed her hand too, touched her shoulder etc. Besides, her feet were touching mine half of the time.

And, I insist, she could have ejected way before the bench thing, so it is pretty incomprenhensible. We could say that all the required steps to end up in a kiss were done, but ...no kiss.


I think that she may have gone out with me to get to know me better and see if she liked me just in case she stops seing the other dude.

 

[pyros]

She's got two guys she's into. Both of them are into her. Chasing after her and acting needy is going to work against you. Let her initiate. Ask her out again. If she refuses, you never ask again.

contradiction. Let her initiate, but you say ask her out again.

 

[GS750]

Yeah...if she calls or texts ask her out again. Don't call/text first. Let her initiate contact.

 

[_sideways_]

[/B]

well, I just did it so we could be sitting next to each other. Actually, it is the third time I do it in my life. But anyway, Im not doing the bench thing anymore. I'll finish the date and kiss her when we're saying good-bye.

It was not boring. It was a first date, it took 1:55 hours (a bit more than what I planned), and we laughed a lot, and as I said above, she hugged my arm, grabbed my hands to show me something etc. I grabbed her hand too, touched her shoulder etc. Besides, her feet were touching mine half of the time.

And, I insist, she could have ejected way before the bench thing, so it is pretty incomprenhensible. We could say that all the required steps to end up in a kiss were done, but ...no kiss.


I think that she may have gone out with me to get to know me better and see if she liked me just in case she stops seing the other dude.

see that's the thing though...if some girl is touching my arm or whatever, I would immediately stop us and I wrap my arms around her waste. Then kiss right there...if she rejects me then I pull way the fvck back...

if she's showing signs of attraction.. Pull the trigger right there, otherwise she can start thinking ur a pvssy...of course this is all before we had sex.

you mean to tell me that some girl is gonna get me turned on for about an hour and I'm not going to show her what's up...literally...no sir.

 

[No.Danny]

There's only ONE IOI (indicator of interest) and that's sex. No get out my presence peasant.

 

[TheCWord]

There's only ONE IOI (indicator of interest) and that's sex. No get out my presence peasant.

You're 17, dude. You don't even legally have a presence yet. Try to keep the criticism constructive when posting here - one day you'll need help on here too.

 

[G_Govan]

As mentioned, most attractive women are 'seeing' someone, but if they like you and intend to hook up they don't usually bring them up. Although sometimes they do if they're intimidated by you and want to DHV, but in that case it usually means it's in the bag anyway as long as you pull the trigger.

She gave you a heads up, which was kind of her.

I personally wouldn't have pursued her.