girl said I was boring on the phone

[DJmonster]

Ok, this girl that I've been seeing calls me every night. In person, I have a lot of fun with her, but I hate talking on the phone with her (in general I hate talking on the phone). I don't want to be rude and not answer or not call her back when she tells me she wants to talk, and its hard for me to be rude on the phone and say "I got to go, I'm busy" or "I better get some sleep, talk to you later." All she does is pump me with information about how her day went, and everything that is going on in her life -I can barely pay attention sometimes, I get so bored and sleepy. Then when she's done talking, she says stuff like, "so, tell me something...." like she's done, and now its my turn. By then, I'm so anxious to get off the phone, I'm about ready to cry. If I do tell this girl something about my day or about me, she figures out how it relates to her, then pumps me with more info about her. A lot of the time it seems like she's just waiting for her turn to talk. In person I can always spice things up with teasing and ****y/funny, but I must suck on the phone (she even told me I was boring after she had talked my ear off and then tried to get me to talk)

What are some ways to spice up phone conversations? (links appreciated)

Also, this girl constantly asks me what I'm thinking. Whenever there is a pause in the convo, which I am comfortable with, but she is not, she demands that I tell her what I'm thinking. This is very annoying. suggestions?

 

[Life-Trainee]

RTFM !! Read the frickin manual (i.e. DJ bible)

 

[TurboLover]

Your heading for disaster. Cut down, on the phone convos. 15mins max and not every night. Doesnt she have friends? If you talk to someone for a long time then its going to get boring.

If shes like yeah but I want to talk. Say ok come by in the morning and cook me some eggs and bacon and we'll talk.

You don't have to worry about saying your busy or tired if you don't answer your phone.

Would you get tired of pizza if you ate it everyday?

Rare things hold value.

 

[DJmonster]

man.. I've read the bible. I was being a challenge with this girl. She got so into me and really moved fast, and I caved in. Now we're acting like bf/gf and I only met her like a month ago. If I don't answer my phone or return her calls, she's going to get very upset. Maybe I could cut back gradually.

If shes like yeah but I want to talk. Say ok come by in the morning and cook me some eggs and bacon and we'll talk.

definitely going to use that one, thanks

setting the timer tonight : ) no phone call over 15 min. This will be tough. Sometimes she just goes off on a lot of tangents.

 

[DiSt0rTi0n_07]

sounds like you are becoming the best friend if you ask me.

She might be 'girl talk'ing you!!

 

[TurboLover]

No, you hang up!

No, you!

Ok on three.

1,2,3

You still there?

LOL

 

[DJmonster]

Originally posted by TurboLover
No, you hang up!

No, you!

Ok on three.

1,2,3

You still there?

LOL

lol


Ok, just got off the phone. Lasted 50 minutes! Well, that didn't go like I planned. this girl is is extremely difficult to get off the phone with. I AM heading for disaster.

If i say its late I better do suchandsuch and get to bed, she figures out how to keep me talking. She's too smart for my avoidance tactics. Once she's got me talking a little bit, then she's off to the races again, running her mouth non stop while I'm rolling my eyes. Well, next time I'll do better, in the meantime I won't return her messages she's going to leave on my phone tomorrow for a couple days.

 

[DiSt0rTi0n_07]

If she always talks excessively like this, is this the kinda girl you wanna be with?

 

[Chaos-Knight]

She probably ment "SHE"was boring!

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Man, this post had me laughing out loud, this is such a man's message board, complaints about how some girl just wouldn't shut up about her day

I think there's some really good advice in this thread, so I don't have much to add. But I will say that you're probably not in too bad shape if you haven't been very responsive on the phone. Chances are she's picked up on your disinterest, especially if she keeps asking you that **** when there's pauses. Disinterest = mystery = very good. Just try to cut way back and stay mysterious and a challenge, and maybe this girl will start putting her mouth to better use

 

[squirrels]

Grow some balls. Just "have something else to do." If she can't respect that, then to hell with her.

Stop being so worried about "offending her" if once in a while you miss a call or "have to go" after a healthy 15 minutes.

 

[JJMcLure]

Phone calls are for SETTING UP DATES. Call up, fluff talk, set up date, end call.

They are not for chatting! Chatting on the phone is what she does with her GIRLFRIENDS! You don't want to become one of those do you?

Talk in person, or you'll have nothing to talk about when you meet.

You are way too available. If she calls every day, don't pick up or don't return her call. Maintain some challenge. You must have other stuff to do, you shouldn't even have time to talk to some chick for ages every night.

By going along with it even though you admit you hate it you are supplicating and that is weak.

Her saying you're boring was rude. From what you've posted it's clear this phone b$ is not helping your "relationship" so CUT IT OUT!

 

[NaturallySelected]

Originally posted by DJmonster

If i say its late I better do suchandsuch and get to bed, she figures out how to keep me talking. She's too smart for my avoidance tactics. Once she's got me talking a little bit, then she's off to the races again, running her mouth non stop while I'm rolling my eyes. Well, next time I'll do better, in the meantime I won't return her messages she's going to leave on my phone tomorrow for a couple days.

My god women talk crap on the phone don't they? Anyway, take my advice talking for ages on the phone can only lead to disaster. I used all the DJ tactics at my disposal and got this girl VERY interested, so interesting she would chat to me on the phone for over an hour, I would talk back and wasn't really bored but it DESTROYED my chances with her. I also got the "What are you thinking?" crap. LOL it's annoying.

Anyway, take my advice. Keep convos short tell her you ahve to go somewhere or something.

 

[Belgium_Freak]

her : hey, how was your day ?
You : can't talk right now, call me later
her : why what's going on
You : listen, i'll talk to you later. bye (hangup)

don't be affraid that she'll get upset, in fact, don't be affraid for any action she might take. YOU come first in your life. Be assertive, tell her you'r not her girlfriend.

 

[AMF]

1) Dont be afraid to cut a phone convo dead and bail on her "uhh, somethings come up, gotta go BYE"

2) Dont be afraid to not answer

3) Dont be afraid

 

[backbreaker]

I am not as much of a stickler about the phone as most guys, I look at it on a case by case basis. There is one girl that I can literarly talk to all day adn never run out of anything to talk about. We often have 3 hour conversations and hate getting off of the phone, but the only reason I really allow that to happen is because our schedules are too busy where she can meet up with me that often, and she lives with her mom so she just can't pop up at 1 in the morning.

But with everyone else, I keep it short, very short. Usually, the longer you talk, the more chance you have of doing or saying something dumb.

 

[-.-]

it would be a crime/sin for me not to contribute since i was in the exact same position as you when i was afc.

basically, if she gets mad when you don't have time for her, it only means one thing - she's into you... and she will be even more into you!

keep distance, dont get too attatched. sometimes girls like to use these tactics to make you fall for them, and once you've fallen for them, you're dead. they'll drop you like a bad habit and tear your heart out. this is ofcourse coming from personal experience.

anyway, what you need to do is don't have too much time for her, girls want what they cant have.

oh and yea, basically, if you tell them u gotta go, just tell her its something important you need to do. (she might think ur talking to another girl, which is a good thing) jealousy makes them crazy and they love a guy in demand!

 

[NewMan]

Your problem is your picking up the phone to much.

You've known her a month and already she's treating you as if you've been married for 20 yrs.

Here's a great formula.

1) Don't pick up the phone like your her little B#tch.

2) Keep it short and sweet. Your cowing down to her and to worried about what she thinks of you instead of worrying about the most important thing here - YOU. You need to make it more about you and less about her. You need to man up and tell her -

"Listen hun, I'm in the middle fo something right now - so can the story wait until I see you XXXX- thanks for being so cool."

Over and done.

 

[JT47319]

Still more AFC bullshit advice.

Now on one hand, you should be a little less available, you don't want to burn out all topics of conversation. But on the other hand, PHONE TIME IS GAME TIME. Don't just FLUFF, go into DEEP and WIDE RAPPORT.

Hell, start PHONE SEXING her.

Anyways, think of this as an opportunity to improve your phone game, voice, and tonality so that you CONVEY interest, sexuality, and intrigue.

 

[diplomatic_lie]

Say "oh my god Osama bin Laden is coming into my room and he doesn't have any clothes!"

Then hang up the phone.