Girl puts me on the spot - at work.

[The LadyKiller]

I work at a company full of fellow 20-somethings. One of them is a HB9 who I know well and am friendly with, but she never crossed my mind as a dating option. Things were off to a normal start at work today - until she turned heel.

One of her friends brought HB9 a few boxes of homemade cupcakes because HB9's birthday is a week away and the friend is going on vacation. I happened to be nearby, so I was looking forward to a mid-shift snack since it was a given she'd pass them around. And she did - to every one nearby except me. She made a show of it too - I was busy working, but it was hard not to notice in plain sight. She then said if I wanted a cupcake, I had to ask the friend who brought them. When HB9 left for a few minutes, I asked HB9's friend if this was a serious thing, that I "had" to ask her. The friend, as expected, said that they're HB9's cupcakes, so why does she care? I was hungry, so I enjoyed that cupcake.

HB9 eventually returned, walked over to where I was sitting/doing work and the following conversation took place:
HB9 (in a not light-hearted flirty way) - Well well, you always end up sitting near me. Gee I wonder why! (starts tapping her nose)
ME - Oh please, you usually find ways to keep sitting next to me.
HB9 - I always sit in that area!
ME - Uh huh...(goes back to doing work).

I was fuming on the inside, but I miraculously found a way to keep myself in check and not display any frustration at work. I had to go to another part of the office to help out on a project, and I couldn't have walked there any more quickly. Before HB9 went home, she dropped off a cupcake for me and left before I could even say "thanks."

What the f*** is this? HB9, who has always been nice and charming, turned heel and acted like a b*tch. I've never seen her behave like that before. As I said earlier, most of us are in our 20s, and there is plenty of dating amongst peers (as long as HR knows, it's ok). But there are so many questions. Does she think I have a crush on her and is looking for an ego-boosting rejection? Does she secretly "like" me and wants to see if I feel the same way? What was the nose-tapping? Or, is there something she doesn't want me to know?

 

[Father Joseph]

Whose nose did she tap? Yours or her own? Or is it a way of saying that I am not familiar with.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Whose nose did she tap? Yours or her own? Or is it a way of saying that I am not familiar with.

She was tapping her own nose. I have never seen this gesture before in my life.

 

[j.619]

She was tapping her own nose. I have never seen this gesture before in my life.

That is weird. Were you the only one that could see her do it? Maybe she was trying to tell you something.

 

[FortunateSon]

She sounds bonkers.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

She was tapping her own nose. I have never seen this gesture before in my life.

How have you never seen this gesture?
It's basically used to suggest you know something the other person doesn't or that you know their secret.
I guess she either thinks that you like her or someone has suggested that you like her. It's proper ***** behaviour though, I'd have left the cupcake back on her desk, dumped it in her bin or given it to someone else.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

How have you never seen this gesture?
It's basically used to suggest you know something the other person doesn't or that you know their secret.
I guess she either thinks that you like her or someone has suggested that you like her. It's proper ***** behaviour though, I'd have left the cupcake back on her desk, dumped it in her bin or given it to someone else.

^Yeah, this.

But I woulda jokingly fed her the cupcake, then smooshed it all over her sexy mouth.

And;

What the f*** is this? HB9, who has always been nice and charming, turned heel and acted like a b*tch. I've never seen her behave like that before.

Dude, she's being a 'b*tch' on purpose, it's called 'negging'. It means she wants wild monkey sex, and for some reason with you: you who is completely oblivious to her flirtations.

Pull your finger out your ass, son. Or get her number for me.

 

[Kailex]

HB9 (in a not light-hearted flirty way) - Well well, you always end up sitting near me. Gee I wonder why! (starts tapping her nose)
ME - (goes back to doing work).

That's how it would have gone with me.

Who cares why she did what she did? You are at work. Ignore that ish and get back to doing what pays your bills. Women in the workplace will try to find any way to create drama where there is none and you are just playing into it.

Just ignore it and get on with your day.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

That's how it would have gone with me.

Who cares why she did what she did? You are at work. Ignore that ish and get back to doing what pays your bills. Women in the workplace will try to find any way to create drama where there is none and you are just playing into it.

Just ignore it and get on with your day.

Worst advice ever in my opinion - apart from the getting involved with people at work thing; not always a great idea.

But as far as the chick/interaction goes, it doesn't sound like she was really being b!tchy; it seriously sounds like you misread her signals.

Why would someone comment (to your face) that you were always in their space unless they actually enjoyed it a bit..... if it was me and I (seriously) didn't like you in my space, I'd either just move out of that space (away from you), or say, 'please don't sit near me anymore'.

 

[VladPatton]

Typical drama and workplace disruptive behavior from an HB and her companions. Cupcakes at work. Seriously. If I were the boss I'd take the box and eat em all. The fuq you bringing cupcakes in my office for? What are you bıtches 12 year olds???You shouldn't of even given two shıts about cupcakes and who's they were and why you didn't get any, especially in the workplace. Imagine getting fired because of a "cupcake incident". LOL Come on, man. Whoever said to treat girls like children was one insightful motherfücker!

 

[The Duke]

I work at a company full of fellow 20-somethings. One of them is a HB9 who I know well and am friendly with, but she never crossed my mind as a dating option. Things were off to a normal start at work today - until she turned heel.

One of her friends brought HB9 a few boxes of homemade cupcakes because HB9's birthday is a week away and the friend is going on vacation. I happened to be nearby, so I was looking forward to a mid-shift snack since it was a given she'd pass them around. And she did - to every one nearby except me. She made a show of it too - I was busy working, but it was hard not to notice in plain sight. She then said if I wanted a cupcake, I had to ask the friend who brought them. When HB9 left for a few minutes, I asked HB9's friend if this was a serious thing, that I "had" to ask her. The friend, as expected, said that they're HB9's cupcakes, so why does she care? I was hungry, so I enjoyed that cupcake.

HB9 eventually returned, walked over to where I was sitting/doing work and the following conversation took place:
HB9 (in a not light-hearted flirty way) - Well well, you always end up sitting near me. Gee I wonder why! (starts tapping her nose)
ME - Oh please, you usually find ways to keep sitting next to me.
HB9 - I always sit in that area!
ME - Uh huh...(goes back to doing work).

I was fuming on the inside, but I miraculously found a way to keep myself in check and not display any frustration at work. I had to go to another part of the office to help out on a project, and I couldn't have walked there any more quickly. Before HB9 went home, she dropped off a cupcake for me and left before I could even say "thanks."

What the f*** is this? HB9, who has always been nice and charming, turned heel and acted like a b*tch. I've never seen her behave like that before. As I said earlier, most of us are in our 20s, and there is plenty of dating amongst peers (as long as HR knows, it's ok). But there are so many questions. Does she think I have a crush on her and is looking for an ego-boosting rejection? Does she secretly "like" me and wants to see if I feel the same way? What was the nose-tapping? Or, is there something she doesn't want me to know?

This chic is interested in you. She wants you to bend her over, or she just wants to use you for an ego boost. Either way, its worth finding out. I'd take her out for drinks and dancing and see if the panties don't drop.

 

[Don-Kong]

Good advice already been given.

Seems like she may think you are taking advantage or non appreciative for whatever reasons. I say this as she wanted you to ask for a cupcake. The sitting next to her thing, perhaps she's heard some gossip from someone else or there is some serious sh1t being stirred about you.

We could assume all sorts but it's not worth it.just ask her directly what she meant if it still bothers you or just crack on and ignore it

 

[Kailex]

Worst advice ever in my opinion - apart from the getting involved with people at work thing; not always a great idea.

...I'd either just move out of that space (away from you), or say, 'please don't sit near me anymore'.

Because this is SO much better?

I don't know how you handle yourself at work with women but I tend to make my professional life pretty seriously. Work time is money time, not girl time.

I fail to see how "Please don't sit near me anymore" helps the situation at ALL.

 

[backbreaker]

you go eat yo cupcake?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Because this is SO much better?

I don't know how you handle yourself at work with women but I tend to make my professional life pretty seriously. Work time is money time, not girl time.

I fail to see how "Please don't sit near me anymore" helps the situation at ALL.

K. I think we're talking at cross-purposes here; I meant, if a girl felt really uncomfortable in your immediate vicinity, she would either move herself, or ask you not sit near her anymore; not in the apparently jokey way the subject of the OP did.

Also on the subject of "Work time is money time, not girl time", may I suggest you too pull the butt-plug out your backside and chill out a bit. How much money are you going to lose by taking 30seconds out for a mild flirtation with a girl, and a really hot girl at that? Life is far to short for all that carry-on, mate.

Gee... anyone would think you guys are stuck in Victorian work houses or some sh!t.

 

[apprenticedj]

After that I wouldn't have touched her cupcakes even if she begged me. In her mind she's holdng back something that you "want", it's a childish immature power play. Who knows the implications, after all she's a women. I would acted aloof, as if I didn't even want her damn cupcakes.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Dude, she's being a 'b*tch' on purpose, it's called 'negging'. It means she wants wild monkey sex, and for some reason with you: you who is completely oblivious to her flirtations.

Pull your finger out your ass, son. Or get her number for me.

Good advice here already. Up to this point you haven't given her the validation that every one else has. So she realizes there is something different about you. However, what is that difference? Why are you not sucking the poop out of her a$$ like everyone else? Is it because you're an Alpha that is above her? Or are you an introverted Asexual that she needs to waste no time on. She needs to find out where you stand, and put you into a category of hers. Up to the cupcake "incident" you had remained a mystery, which is good. However, the fact that you're taking everything she says at face value, and getting butt hurt by it, means you won't able to handle a woman like her. She is figuring this out by the $hit tests she's giving you and how you're responding.

It's all a game with these women. If anything, try to just have fun with it. Take nothing they say at face value. And at the very least, hold your own as a man.


Side note:
There are sometimes issues if you bang chicks from work. However, I say assess the situation and go for it, you only live once, and as Pook would say: “The greatest risk you can take in life is not to risk it all!”

 

[Kailex]

Also on the subject of "Work time is money time, not girl time", may I suggest you too pull the butt-plug out your backside and chill out a bit. How much money are you going to lose by taking 30seconds out for a mild flirtation with a girl, and a really hot girl at that? Life is far to short for all that carry-on, mate.

Gee... anyone would think you guys are stuck in Victorian work houses or some sh!t.

Like I said earlier, I take my professional life a little more seriously. That 30 seconds you take to "neg" or give her a comment or say anything that could be perceived as negative within a workplace could easily go awry. Any thing taken the wrong way could lead to the loss of a job and potentially a black mark on your career.

Maybe you don't care that much about your job, but I've got better things.

There are plenty of women outside of work that I can be a "DJ" too, but as a man who has to pay his own bills, his own apartment, his own car and lives on his own, I'm not forfeiting all of that for "30" seconds over some idiotic cupcake girl who clearly has nothing better to do in her day.

Look at the entire scope of the situation.
NOT.
WORTH.
IT.

30 seconds could cost you your career... but go ahead, YOLO or whatever you people say nowadays to justify stupid behavior. I'll be the guy progressing within his career while you sit in the HR office spouting that you really didn't mean it, you were just saying things you read on an internet forum about "HB9's".

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Like I said earlier, I take my professional life a little more seriously. That 30 seconds you take to "neg" or give her a comment or say anything that could be perceived as negative within a workplace could easily go awry. Any thing taken the wrong way could lead to the loss of a job and potentially a black mark on your career.

Maybe you don't care that much about your job, but I've got better things.

There are plenty of women outside of work that I can be a "DJ" too, but as a man who has to pay his own bills, his own apartment, his own car and lives on his own, I'm not forfeiting all of that for "30" seconds over some idiotic cupcake girl who clearly has nothing better to do in her day.

Look at the entire scope of the situation.
NOT.
WORTH.
IT.

30 seconds could cost you your career... but go ahead, YOLO or whatever you people say nowadays to justify stupid behavior. I'll be the guy progressing within his career while you sit in the HR office spouting that you really didn't mean it, you were just saying things you read on an internet forum about "HB9's".

Ohh. B*tch. PLEASE. You wanna talk about work...

Right. I came second in my high school class in cognitive assessment, out of a year of 200. I came a hair's breadth away from representing my country playing basketball (discluded because I was apparently too YOUNG!). I am the ONLY person in this country with my job. I (along with two others) have been charged for the last two years with assessing the output performance of about 2.5billionUSD of public funding; including a reporting strategy and data analysis process which I pretty much designed myself.

I advise people twice my age, who earn three-four times my salary; all because I get more of a kick out of moral and social rewards than financial - if you don't know the difference or understand the dynamics between the three, I can highly recommend FREAKONOMICS. I advise medics, though I am not medically trained. I advise some of the highest levels of authority in the WORLD within my remit

You wanna know about my pedigree? My younger brother AND my uncle both work on atom smashers. My sister runs a gym. As an undergraduate. My mother has two degrees and my father runs his own business and earns over 100K a year.

So. All the above in mind, I can still name about 60women to my personal playlist.

DUDE. With respect. DO NOT talk to me about taking work seriously. What you and old OPBoy (LadyKIller, or actual killer of ladies? - he sounds a bit....angry about something) might want to think about is how 'seriously' you are taking yourselves and life in general.

Forget the cupcakes. Forget you're at work. If I get called out by an HB9, I take it as a personal f*cking compliment. And I AUTOMATICALLY get my f*cking swerve on. Can I recommend you stop being such beta cry-babies because SexyGirl gave you a cupcake and a hard-on and do the f*cking same. If I can do all this and still find the time and discretion to have a bit of INNOCENT fun, I'm sure you clowns can too.

My personal responses to this broad would probably have been one of the following:

-"Hahaa. You wish. I'll have the cupcakes at my desk next week, and an Americano while you're at it" (winkyface)
-"Weeell. I just get a better view here than at your bedroom window" (winkyface) - you might wanna save this one till you know her a bit better actually!
-"If we went out after work, could you offer me anything more exciting to eat than cupcakes" (notice the very discreet innuendo; stuff like this is GOLDDUST to *8's+plus, they just can't work out if you meant 'dinner' or 'p*ssy' ;u) )

The reactions to this situation do not strike me as genuine disgust with this 'b*tch'; rather they are laced with pure stunned fear. Especially the response to this chick by the OP.

Now then gents. Please don't take any of this too personally. I must adjourn. I've had it up to my an*s with folks who don't know what they're doing today.

Kindest regards to all

 

[Alvafe]

Like I said earlier, I take my professional life a little more seriously. That 30 seconds you take to "neg" or give her a comment or say anything that could be perceived as negative within a workplace could easily go awry. Any thing taken the wrong way could lead to the loss of a job and potentially a black mark on your career.

Maybe you don't care that much about your job, but I've got better things.

There are plenty of women outside of work that I can be a "DJ" too, but as a man who has to pay his own bills, his own apartment, his own car and lives on his own, I'm not forfeiting all of that for "30" seconds over some idiotic cupcake girl who clearly has nothing better to do in her day.

Look at the entire scope of the situation.
NOT.
WORTH.
IT.

30 seconds could cost you your career... but go ahead, YOLO or whatever you people say nowadays to justify stupid behavior. I'll be the guy progressing within his career while you sit in the HR office spouting that you really didn't mean it, you were just saying things you read on an internet forum about "HB9's".

being friendly and good work etics will help you mroe at your job then only being a good worker, don't matter if you are good if everyone in a work place are friendly with each other save for you, wehn they need to cut someone out, its you they will cut, you can be the best they have, but they can cut if everyone says, oh him? he don't work well in a team or something on these lines.

also if 30 secs can cost your carrer, unless you work in a pretty dangerous enviroment or you are overthinking too much.

relax, work well, make friends, someone who really like you in a work place can save you, it also show leadership skills to be a well liked person who can help everyone.

it can also happen something you are so damn good on what you do, you will never get a promotion, because no one else can do what you do so why anyone would move you?