Girl possibly lied to me.

[itishe]

I'm in a LDR...

Anywho at the beginning when we started going out we talked about what we did with past girlfriends/boyfriends. She said she had sex with one guy, only once, and regretted it.

I believed her despite the fact she calls him her "best friend that's a boy".

Fastforward to today at work this girl comes up to me and says she's been hearing alot about me lately. I ask her what about, and she doesn't tell me. Later on I confront her again and she asks me, "so are you going out with so and so?". I said I was and asked why.

"Well I heard she likes to **** dylan every chance she gets".
"What?"
"I heard she's had sex with him tons of times"
"She told me only once"
"well I don't know the whole situation"
"Sure whatever"

I'm going to call her tonight and ask her about it. If she said she did have sex with him multiple times think it's best to break it off with her since she lied to me?

 

[Phyzzle]

think it's best to break it off with her

Yes. Because it's an LDR, you should look for ANY reason to break it off. Scroo LDR's.

 

[itishe]

Here's how our net convo went. I probably should of asked her on the phone.


Me: do you ever talk to that taylor?
Her: no why?
how was subway today???
she brought up something today at work, dunno if it's true or not that's why I want to ask you
what?
Anywho I was washing dishes and she comes up and tells me that she's been hearing alot about me lately. I ask her about. She asks if I'm going out with you. I say yeah butbefore I go on keep this **** between us
okay
Anywho she goes on to tell me randomly that you and dylan ****ed alot more than once
no we didn't!!
I don't care if you had sex with him, just I don't want to be lied to
swear!
it was just that nite
I'm not taking sides, but she even said dylan told her it was more than oncewell you can believe me or her, but why would i lie honestly?? it was just that nite.
**** I dunno. I'm just as confused
I wonder why she even brought it up
but I had to get it off my chest
well that's fine... but nothing has ever happened between me and dylan ever since then
I'll take your word for it
Just didn't want to be lied to
see i personally don't get that somebody can talk to lots of other people about this stuff.. but not about the person they do it with. makes noo sence to me. but i never lied to you about anything:
I didn't understand that, you mean like not just asking you?
what?
didn't understand that
i mean dylan
he would tell other people about it like it was no big deal.. but would not say a word about it to me
well what did you want him to say?
i don't know
who cares about it
done
alright, so nothing more happened than what we talked about. closure to the subject
keep that between us
k
~Life's a song we don't get to rehearse and every single verse can make it that much worse~ says:
i'm gonna read my psychology chapter:
I'm gonna go hit the gym, maybe go hang out with lucas
I'll talk to ya later
~Life's a song we don't get to rehearse and every single verse can make it that much worse~ says:
k
bye bye
bye

 

[Phyzzle]

I don't understand. How LDR is this?

If she lives in another city, how do your coworkers even know her, let alone about her personal life?

 

[Budheavy]

asdf

Friend, forget about this girl. Your conversation with her shows a bit of desperation. If you even have the slightest inclination that she's cheating on you it's one of two things. A) You're not confident enough to think you can keep her around or B) She's unfaithful and she is absolutely not LTR material. Not to mention LDR's are the biggest waste of your life and energy. End it. Forget her. Go out and find some nice young gals in or around your area.

 

[itishe]

Phyzzle, we went to school together. She's turning 18 and I'm 16. She left for college a couple weeks ago.

Before she left we did get physical (*******s, fingering, etc) but no sex.


Budheavy, you expect me to let some random **** fly by like that and not confront her about it? If I'm already wasting my time in a LTR I don't want to waste my time + find out I'm dating a liar.

 

[Budheavy]

I don't expect you to let that **** fly. I think it's good that you confronted her.. however, if you are worried that she is cheating on you, don't you think thats an issue? This is only my opinion but if you are stressing over this and you can't trust this girl then it isn't worth it!

My point is this. If she isn't cheating on you and you confronted her the way you did, then it comes off as desperate.

If she is cheating on you (You shouldn't even have to consider this), then its good that you confronted her but it is not good that you continue the relationship.

PS: LDR's SUCK =)

 

[KillaCam]

Phyzzle, we went to school together. She's turning 18 and I'm 16. She left for college a couple weeks ago.

Before she left we did get physical (*******s, fingering, etc) but no sex.


Budheavy, you expect me to let some random **** fly by like that and not confront her about it? If I'm already wasting my time in a LTR I don't want to waste my time + find out I'm dating a liar.

Dude, i'll be blunt. You're young, you should be having fun. Not tying yourself down in a LDR where you're constantly doubting and unsure. Hell, I debate LDR's even being relationships, because they aren't.

Go live your life dude, this stuff is more trouble than it's worth.

 

[MacDiddy]

Seriously.... if you think there is an honest to god chick that doesn't lie, then she would be the insane one... EVERYBODY LIES...

you are being lied to... but so what..... roll with it... you don't she goes else where... Its no kudos going out with you if she can find someone better and at her age... you don't really offer much....

just roll wit it and find yourself some more honey!!

 

[bingo_]

my best relationship was a LDR. only i ended it for personal reason.

 

[MightyMate]

She lied for sure!

 

[Fash]

mmm I don't get it.

If she is lying, they why does she want to maintain this LDR? I mean what does she get out of it?

What gets me is that you haven't f*cked her your self and some other guy has. That would P*SS ME OFF!!!!! :cuss: no matter what her excuse was.

My advice is that you stop caring so much about this chick, and go out and nail some other chicks. I remember what it was like to be 16, you met a nice girl and thought "wow, I'm so lucky, I hope she doesnt cheat on me/lie to me." bla bla bla

Then you get older and look back on your self and laugh.

Sometimes we don't really care if she is lying or not, but what hurts is the beating your ego takes. Learn to control your ego and you'll be able to control any chick.

 

[JJMcLure]

Well, first off - he has fvcked her and you haven't. What does that tell you about how close he is to her compared to you? She clearly doesn't have a problem with fvcking, she just isn't doing it with you.

As for the chick who told you, she could just be trying stir trouble, so be wary of it. Nothing will bite you on the ass more than acting jealous or distrusting.

Chicks at this age are looking to "have fun" (that's what they always call it - it's ******** for screw around). In particular, almost every chick who goes to college with a BF back home, they end up breaking up. There's too much opportunity at college.

You should reframe this in your mind. You have a chick who isn't going to be your exclusive GF, and if you try to press it she'll most likely just bail. If you can accept she's going to be more of a friend who you can get some off now and again, you'll be in a better place to deal with this.

 

[wayword]

Uh, if she were lying to you to begin with, what makes you think she would fess up to you if you asked her directly?

Your whole plan was flawed.

Liars lie until they get caught...and even then may still deny it. Just ask Bill Clinton, OJ Simpson, etc...

I woulda asked for HARD PROOF from Taylor or whoever else, but LAST OF ALL your gf. Maybe Taylor is trying to break you 2 up, maybe your gf is lying. But asking your gf proves little to you either way...

 

[azanon]

Here's what i'd do chief: Forget the LDR, but not necessarily the girl. Tell her you think its best if you guys cut the relationship but would be interested in "doing something fun" (read f her) when she comes home or if "you just happen to be in that area sometime". In the meantime, date other girls where you live.

Second, it is none of your business who she had sex with or how many times before your relationship. If you ask a question to someone that is none of your business, then they are entitled to lie. In fact, if she has any dignity, you're either going to get a lie or told what you should already should know; that it isnt your business. That you even care makes you look AFC.

If you maintain the LDR and be faithful as i assume you are since you get so bent out of shape at the thought of her screwing someone else, then she ends up getting her cake and eating it too, and you get jack s*** (no sex AND no other women while she's in college). The LDR is lose/lose for you, and win/win for her (she has you locked up at home, and can do as she pleases at college too).

BTW, i "stole" my now wife of 13 years from someone's boyfriend back home. Even if i was considerably less attractive than i am, I could most likely "steal" a girl from some far away boyfriend with ease. Heck, forget stealing her... she can just keep him too, because i wouldnt care unless i wanted to become exclusive.

BTW, i'm jealous that you know of this site at 16. Wish i had found a site like this at that age. Now take the 2nd and final step, and trust us over your 16 year old mind. Its flawed; take our word for it.

Azanon

 

[itishe]

Loving the posts guys.

Let me explain a few things:

*Most importantly*

I never said I think she's cheating on me, I just told you I heard some stuff at work and she might of lied to me. Again I never said I think she's cheating on me.

-----------------

I play grab-ass with two employees at work (see I don't completely forget about other girls), ones 22 and the Taylor one is 15. Taylor is a bit of a slut and before this she would ask me quite a bit what I'm doing after work, etc. and that we should hang out. Perhaps she found out I had a girlfriend and wanted to **** it up?

I don't care who she had sex with or how many times just as long as she doesn't lie to me. We got into a discussion one night at the beginning of our relationship and we told each other about our sexual past. If she can't be honest with me when I was honest with her than I don't want that ****.

Anywho, I asked one of her friends who I drink with regularly how many times she heard she had sex with him and she told me she only heard about one time. This girl also had sex with the same guy and regretted it once she found out he lasted about a minute and was 15 when she's 18.

I think she's telling me the truth.

 

[azanon]

We got into a discussion one night at the beginning of our relationship and we told each other about our sexual past. If she can't be honest with me when I was honest with her than I don't want that ****.

I understand, and i did the same thing with my now wife long long ago (and i was 20 at the time). But now I know, its really not her business what i did before i met her, and likewise it really isnt my business what she did.

So whoever started that line of questioning shouldnt have, and since it was done, you should have expected lies from each other.

IMO, Jealousy is AFC, i cant even think of an exception. Even though it may be the lie that actually upsets you, its going to come across to her like you're jealous. So if you want to look AFC, act upset about it.

 

[MightyMate]

LDR is not LTR. She can have You as backdoor. Simple.