Originally posted by lordson
nows shes getting all worried and everything
her breasts hurt a bit, they dont feel tender or seem to have gotten larger but they both hurt a bit
she was tired today for no good reason, but wasn't really tired.
and shes kidna putting on weight, shes been eating like an elephant for the past few months though,
but she has no mornign sickness or heavy food cravings, and the secretions coming from her seem to be about the same as they were before
i always wash my hands before anything, and the only way my sperm could have gotten near her was if she rubbed up against my underwaers somehow with a bit of pre-*** on them
Based on what you describe, odds are good that she's not pregnant, but there's a simple way to check. Go buy a pregnancy test and have her take it. They're extremely reliable and even come in packs of two or three, so if one comes up negative and her period doesn't show up, you can test again next week. It's relatively cheap and simple peace of mind.
A few things about women's periods: especially when we're young, they can be incredibly unpredictable. Our cycles can range anywhere from 21 - 35 days, and "regular" means plus or minus a few days. Unless they're on the Pill, very few women can pinpoint the precise day, never mind hour, when their periods will start. Even worse, all kinds of things can throw us off cycle, like changes in weight, medication and stress. Being a week late isn't usually any more cause for panic in a 16 - 25-year-old than being a week early. Still, buy the test. The stress of worrying, by itself, can make her even later than she already is.
The symptoms of early pregnancy and the symptoms of PMS can be quite similar, which can fake a women out into thinking she's pregnant when she's not, or think she's not pregnant when she is. Also, those symptoms can vary wildly from woman to woman. Some eat like pigs. Some can't stand the sight of food. Some have what seems like an early period when the fertilized egg implants. Some menstruate throughout pregnancy, just much lighter than they used to. In short, do not assume anything based on her symptoms, just get the test. Her hCG (pregnancy hormone) levels are the most reliable indicator you have and they rarely lie. Odd of a pregnant woman flunking a p*ss test are very, very slim. If she flunks and there's still doubt, she needs to see a doctor.
Do not think for a minute that you can predict when she will ovulate. You can't, not without more hormone tests or an ultrasound machine. Even older women who have already had children and are willing to go through the headache of tracking their cervical mucus and basal body temperature can have a tough time controling their fertility this way, and young women who have not had children tend to ovulate just as unpredictably as they menstruate. Tracking it by counting days is hopeless, so get the test. The sooner you know for sure, the better.
Get the test, get the test, get the effing test! There is no need for these extended panics because a simple, reliable test is available over the counter. Buy it. Have her take it. Then you can both get some sleep or make appropriate plans. Remember that late abortions are a lot more expensive and risky than early ones. If she is pregnant, better to know sooner than later.
After this mess is over, sit down and have a talk about birth control options because what you're doing is obviously not working for you mentally, even if it's working physically. Here's a quick run-down of what's available. ***This is not medical advice!*** It's just info. FYI.
It's too late for this particular situation, but unless you live in AK, AL, AR, AZ, CT, DE, FL, IA, ID, IN, KS, KY, LA, ME, MS, MT, ND, NE, NH, NV, OK, RI, SC, SD, TX, UT, VT, WA, WV or WY, prescriptions for emergency contraception can be obtained online at
http://www.getthepill.com/ for about $25. They call it in to your local pharmacy, so check and make sure the pharmacist will fill it. She must tell the truth on the questionnaire or she will risk complications and it can have miserable side effects (nausea, vomiting), so it cannot be used regularly. It is, however, a Godsend in a pinch.
The best thing on the market that I know of is the Mirena IUD (
http://www.mirena.com). Not every woman can use it (best if you're monogamous and she's already had a kid, but some young, single women have managed to get them) and it might be hard to find a practitioner who can get them and knows how to insert them, but it's more effective even than voluntary sterilization (99.9% as opposed to 99.5% - 99.85%). It has relatively few side effects for a hormonal form of birth control and far less chance of uterine perforation than the 1970s stuff (e.g. the Dalkon Shield) that gave IUDs a bad name. Lasts for five years and does not impair future fertility. Hard to find and very expensive, but worth it.
Barring that, go to
http://www.plannedparenthood.com or
http://www.ultimatebirthcontrol.com and go over the options together. There are several forms of Pills, an injection, the ring, the patch and a few more IUDs. Then she needs to have an informed and thorough talk with a doctor to make sure that her preferred method is appropriate for her, both physically and psychologically. Smokers and the absent-minded are poor candidates for the Pill.
If you want or need to stick with barrier methods, go to
http://www.birthcontrol.com. Things not available in the United States are available legally for personal use from Canada, including a wider range of spermicides and even contraceptive sponges. Neither are great by themselves, but both can make fair back-up for condoms. Get familiar with them and learn to use them them because this is your future, too, not just hers. There are also some alternative barriers, less reliable than condoms but possibly appropriate in monogamous LTRs when hormonal birth control isn't feasible. Yes, a male Pill would rock, as would a universal vaccine against STDs, but we don't have them. Learn to work with what we do have.
This is an awkward topic, especially for Americans, but unless you want to be a father, get over it. Buy a few things, get a good look at them, learn where they go and how to put them there. Inserting the film or a Protectaid sponge can be done in bed and is essentially a finger-****. Getting them in the right place is a matter of learning where her cervix is, which is also a finger-****. The cervix really does feel like a large nose, and it should be the only firm thing in there unless she's wearing a tampon. Checking the placement of a NuvaRing, cervical cap, diaphragm or Lea's Shield is also a finger-**** and checking the strings of an IUD is...yep, you guessed it! Finger-****. If she says she's using the patch, it should be on an appropriate part of her body unless she's on week four, and not peeling excessively.
But jeeze, quit freaking yourselves out! Pregnancy tests can work even before her period is due. If it's late enough to worry her and she refuses to take the test, or refuses to discuss new birth control options, next her as soon as you decently can. I know that sounds harsh, but the stakes are high here and this is no place for psuedo-virtuous modesty or childish games. Pregnancy scares that consist of sitting on pins and needles waiting for a woman's late period to start are needless drama. Don't indulge in them.
Persephone
