Girl liked me online, but not in person. HELP

[Doppy]

Alright everyone, I'm asking for your help on what I should do about this little problem.

There was this girl that messaged me on my myspace. She goes to my school, but I've never really seen or spoken to her before. But she ended up asking for my screenname and we talked online all week.

We hit it off good, she complimented me alot, telling me I looked good from my pics, I was smart, nice, funny, etc. And we even talked about some other stuff girls wouldn't usually talk about to a guy. So yeah, it was pretty obvious she wanted me.

So yesterday her friend had a block party and we had planned to meet there for the first time. I went, she was very nice, hung out with me the whole time. But my problem is, I'm a little shy in person. So I didn't really bring up too many conversations, but I'm not saying we didn't talk at all, because we did.

I ended up getting 3 hugs from her, along with a compliment about my eyes and some other stuff. I really started to feel for her and like her. I come home thinking all is well right? WRONG.

We talk online and she tells me she doesn't want a relationship. Now I'll admit, she did mention this at the party, but I thought nothing of it, the usual girl wanting the guy to tell her it'll be fine right? So it ends up all coming out, she realizes I like her now.

But... she says she only sees me as a friend, and she didn't feel anything for me. I am just completely shocked, I thought she felt more. It's obvious the feelings she had for me online changed once she met me in person. Is that really right? Can she really judge me like that after the first akward meeting in person?

I think if I hang out with her somemore she could start having feelings for me. I mean there had to be something about me that she liked online, that kept her interested in me. All it needs is for that to come out in person and she should start liking me again.

So what do you think? Will she ever change and like me more than a friend again? What can I do to help her change this way? School starts in one and a half weeks. I am hoping if I have lunch with her, I can work it out in person there.

If you have any more questions about what happened, just ask. Thanks alot for any help I get, I really appreciate it.

 

[brenbaus]

did you do any kino or anything, or did you just hang out with her?

Even when I am just "hanging out" with any one of my female friends (there can only be one there, or they start getting jelous) I practice my kino, so when I need it I can use it

 

[Doppy]

Sorry, but I don't know what kino is. Can you please explain?

 

[MercutioTHEGREAT]

2 key things read and review!! and grow

1.you came off saying you were too shy
I hate shy B!tches so being shy is bad

2.Doesn't matter unless you know how to read women's minds
you will never figure out what they want (plus number 1 didn't help you)

just go in knowing all girls won't like you get back out there and look for another one.

that's just what i see.

 

[flexion_]

If a women says she only sees you as a friend then she really doesn't like you at all. Women always try and be nice about it.

There is no point in pursuing this any further - she told you she doesn't like you. Move on.

There is no way to change this. Don't take it personal.

 

[MercutioTHEGREAT]

go to bible to read up on kino....its seductive touching...and eye contact...all about opening a girl up making it almost possible for you to get the women you want...every DJ needs to know it...i'm still learning it..

 

[Doppy]

Originally posted by flexion_
If a women says she only sees you as a friend then she really doesn't like you at all. Women always try and be nice about it.

There is no point in pursuing this any further - she told you she doesn't like you. Move on.

There is no way to change this. Don't take it personal.

See usually I would move on after a girl says that. But the point here is, she liked me. She said she thought I would be the one to end her string of bad relationships. Could this just be a case of a bad first date or meeting? And her just jumping the gun on her decision without even giving it another shot to see if it works better? Is this even the quite bit possible?

 

[Doppy]

As for kino, yes we did do some touching. Whether it was her bumping into me on purpose, me standing close to her and her moving in even closer, us swinging each other on swings, her punching me cutely, poking me, us playing tag. As well as alot of eye contact between us even when we would just smile at each other. I mean all the signs were there, but it turned out to be completly different.

 

[Doppy]

I should also add that her parents do not allow her to date and she was never able to introduce her ex's to her them, she had to keep it secret. So she said she doesn't think a relationship is worth the trouble, it isn't worth the risks she said. She is still hung on thinking about how her last relationship went bad and how she doesn't want that to happen again, she said she doesn't want to be hurt anymore.

Could she be doing all this because maybe she doesn't fully trust me yet? She needs to be with me more and see my loyalty, before she can see that I'm a good enough guy that would never hurt her?

 

[flexion_]

Listen for a woman to tell you she only sees you as friend means you already have pushed things WAY to far while she had low IL and weren't picking up the hints she must have been throwing at you the whole time.

By the time she says this she is thinking **** off. But women, are nice about it.

Maybe you should pursue her further to see how this will all blow up in your face and how silly you are going to feel if you keep going after her when she isn't interested. It will be a good learning experience. Then you can read the bible again.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by Doppy
See usually I would move on after a girl says that. But the point here is, she liked me. She said she thought I would be the one to end her string of bad relationships. Could this just be a case of a bad first date or meeting? And her just jumping the gun on her decision without even giving it another shot to see if it works better? Is this even the quite bit possible?

She likes you, she likes you not. Things are never as they seem. In your mind, everything was set out in one way. In her mind, it was set out in a different way. What you think should happen, does not mean it should happen.

You can play all those questions in your mind over and over again. Ask the wrong questions and you'll end up back where you started. Ask the right questions and you'll be taking those first few steps in making yourself feel a lot better.

You can be the best DJ, the best PUA the world has ever seen, but if you ever feel that you've been wronged, that you deserve something more, that things should've played out it some better way, then you're nothing more than a DJ in AFC's clothing.

Anything is possible if you think it's possible. Can this girl be so unreasonable and jump the gun? Can she just make a decision based on one encounter? YES! She has every right to do so. You, on the other hand, don't have the right to change her way of doing things. So tell me, is there any good reason to think about it anymore?

 

[Doppy]

Originally posted by flexion_
Listen for a woman to tell you she only sees you as friend means you already have pushed things WAY to far while she had low IL and weren't picking up the hints she must have been throwing at you the whole time.

Before I say anything else, let me just mention that I didn't push anything too far. She is the one that went after me, she is the one that wanted to meet me. She said I'm just a friend because that is all she felt for me. I take offense to you saying I pushed things too far.

So it seems like the overall opinion is that I should just forget her and move on. Now my last question is, should I still talk to her as a "friend"? I mean she is a nice girl and I still want to know her. But I don't want her to think I still haven't given up. She already doesn't talk to me as much as she did before we met.

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by Doppy
So what do you think?

She liked your pictures, but something in either your manner, your appearance, or your actions turned her off. Way off.

Will she ever change and like me more than a friend again?

"All signs point to no".

What can I do to help her change this way?

Move on and meet other girls?

School starts in one and a half weeks.

Moved to High School forum.

I am hoping if I have lunch with her, I can work it out in person there.

Let us know how it goes.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by Doppy
So it seems like the overall opinion is that I should just forget her and move on. Now my last question is, should I still talk to her as a "friend"? I mean she is a nice girl and I still want to know her. But I don't want her to think I still haven't given up. She already doesn't talk to me as much as she did before we met.

Wanting to still be friends with her means you still haven't given up. And she'll very well realize that too. Do NOT kid yourself. If you really want to be friends, then let it happen like how it does with your other friends. Please don't tell me that you asked all your friends "can we be friends?". Please don't tell me that when you wanted to be friends with someone, you thought about how you were going to do it. Please don't tell me that you actually planned on being friends with people. You know what friends are? Friends are people who you so happen to meet and get along well with. Now riddle me this. Do you seriously believe that this girl doesn't know this?

 

[jprjrjr]

Originally posted by Doppy
Before I say anything else, let me just mention that I didn't push anything too far. She is the one that went after me, she is the one that wanted to meet me. She said I'm just a friend because that is all she felt for me. I take offense to you saying I pushed things too far.

So it seems like the overall opinion is that I should just forget her and move on. Now my last question is, should I still talk to her as a "friend"? I mean she is a nice girl and I still want to know her. But I don't want her to think I still haven't given up. She already doesn't talk to me as much as she did before we met.

Who cares if she likes your or not? You reek of desperation, and she knows it.

Back off, and let things lie. There are plenty of other girls, go find one that likes you.

Why do you guys insist on rationalizing women's behavior? She said she sees you as a friend. SO WHAT? Tell her to take a fvcking hike, and ignore her.

P.S. I can't tell you how many times I regret wasting my time fretting about some chick, when I can't even remember their name now.

Spend your time with the people in your life who really care about you. Because in a few months, you won't even remember this girl's name.

 

[Doppy]

Well I'll admit, I started to care about her. But you make a point, if she doesn't care enough about me, why should I give a damn about her? I guess caring about her is the only thing that's stopping me from moving on. As long as I think how I said, she should be out of my mind in no time.

 

[Phat]

she prolly doesnt like u because u didnt act like the lover in real life like u did online..

 

[frisco]

well just be friends and use her as a pivot to hook up with her friends

 

[Doppy]

You wanted updates, I got updates.

Well school started, I don't have any classes with her. The online chatting slowly returned to how it used to be before she met me in person, not as much flirting but she was back to being interested, laughing and bringing up subjects. So today we said we would meet after school and we did. We talk a bit about our day, introduced me to her friends, etc.

Now the most confusing part was when she gave me a hug when I was leaving. I know hugs can be normal from a female friend, but do you really think this girl would still give me a hug after what had happened? I really personally think theres a part in her that still cares for me. And truthfully, there seems to be that part in me too. I guess I can take this day by day after school and see how this turns out. Is it possible that she can fall for me again? I sure think it is.

So now instead of turning this into people telling me move on, does anyone have any tips on how I could go about getting her to fall for me again?

 

[wlan-11g]

This thread reaks of oneitis

school just started, hit on some other chics, dont talk to her every second of the day, especially online. If she has *any feelings for you whatsoever, she'll be instantly jealous, in which case you can move in and close

Yo say she likes your pictures but yor acting in the true blue AFC way is pissing her off to no end - friends zzone.

dont think too much into her actions. she Hugs can mean anything. I mean she could be a hugaholic?