Girl leaves for another guy... calls after 3 weeks

[tfwi]

My girl left me for someone else about 3-4 weeks ago, and I haven't heard from her since. Before she left, I told her she's making a huge mistake that she's gonna regret... I never heard from her since.

Last night she calls me about 9:30 and leaves a message about "the $$ she owes me". Fifteen minutes later, she texts me "1 thing i want u to know is that i am glad u r a better person without me. i knew you would be." She calls again about 11:30, doesn't leave a message. Then she texts me at 12:10, says "if u can please call before 1215. i will be busy all tomorrow." I didn't reply to any of these, I'm going to wait it out until tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night, when I do call her, how should I handle this? I'm thinking she's testing me (by all the above messages), can't fail this test, now can I?

EDIT: Called again this morning, left message "i was trying to get ahold of you on my break from class. i guess i'll try again later, i need to talk to you. have a good day."

 

[MacAvoy]

Does she actually owe you any money? If so, return the call and make arrangements. This is a classic move. Don't fall for it. She sees that you moved on, doesn't like not having the power, and wants you to tell her that you miss her so that she can have the power back again, and ditch you, leaving you with nothing but an empty feeling.

Trust me on this one. I've seen it a million times. If she doesn't owe you money, don't even return the phone call unless she leaves you another message with a real reason to call her.

When you do call her, don't get sucked into what are you doing, how are you doing, its all a ploy to get the power back. Give 1 word answers and thats it. Move on, she'll want you even more.

If she keeps persisting after the initial phone call, make her wait another day, then turn her into your personal sucking machine. At this point, she'll do anything to get back into your life, include degrading herself. This is the best part, this is why all those jerk types get the women. Have a blast and don't fall into her trap.

 

[whistler]

MacAvoy is totally right. Don't get excited about getting her back. That isn't at all what this is about. She doesn't want you back. She wants either power over you or emotional satisfaction.

It would be hard, but I would completely ignore her.

 

[tfwi]

Nice advice MacAvoy. I'll make sure to follow it, seems fair enough. Yes, she does owe me money, but when I loaned it to her in August, because of the large amount, we had the agreement she has until the end of December to pay me back.

 

[MacAvoy]

I would negate the last part of my advice if you want to get the money back from here. Keep things civil, but its a dangerous road to tread. Out of curiousity, how much coin are we talking about here?

 

[resilient]

I had this same situation happen last year with my ex who owed me 2 grand. I was prepared to walk away and never see it again since we ended so badly and I never wanted to see her again or hear her voice.

I played aloof, indifferent and ignored her txt/emails and was shocked when 6 months later I found a check in the mail with the 2 grand she owed.

I'd follow MacAvoy's advice. If it isn't that much money, than walk away since you don't want her to use money as an excuse to reel you back in for an ego trip via guilt to redump you.

If the money is a big deal then followup in a civil manner like the others said and end it like the end of a business partnership. Civil and wish her well.

Do you both have a mutual friend that could be the conduit to transfer what she owes? That's an option to consider.

 

[aelux]

MacAvoy is totally right. Don't get excited about getting her back. That isn't at all what this is about. She doesn't want you back. She wants either power over you or emotional satisfaction.

It would be hard, but I would completely ignore her.

She's trying to set up a love triangle and juggle you. Not a position I'd want to be in.

Text her these lyrics after you get your dollers back:

You want what you can't have, ooh girl that's too damn bad
Don't touch what you can't grab, end up with two backhands
Put anthrax on a tampax, and slap you till you can't stand
Girl you just blew your chance, don't mean to ruin your plans...

 

[Kev07]

This happened to me before, but in my case the girl was much less prideful about it. broke up to get with this other guy, who 3 weeks later dumped her to get with a much better looking girl. a week later she comes back and starts trying to talk to me and (usually we are in computer class) i just turn on my iTunes and play Justin Timberlake - Cry Me a River, and maybe even sing along =]

 

[BigFoot]

Maybe I'm losing it (getting late), but what does
"1 thing i want u to know is that i am glad u r a better person without me. i knew you would be." even mean ? Better person without her ? ?

 

[oakraiderz2]

Nice advice MacAvoy. I'll make sure to follow it, seems fair enough. Yes, she does owe me money, but when I loaned it to her in August, because of the large amount, we had the agreement she has until the end of December to pay me back.

Set up a day to get the money from her and do just that. Dont chat, dont do anything except get your money and get the fvck out of there. B!tch wont know what hit her.

 

[tfwi]

That's a hell of a question, Bigfoot. I'm not sure what that means, maybe someone can enlighten me? All I know.. is the reason we didn't work out is because she has rage issues from a past rape (yeah i know, but they just "came up"). I tried to work it through with her (I was engaged to her), and at some point she freaked out. She had been off and on with me, and when she told me about someone else, I was like "see ya". Better person could maybe mean she saw how her issues were affecting me when she was with me? I don't really know.