Girl just re-confirmed it: Women cannot be trusted.

[The Message Boy]

LOL, I agree with most of the advice but isn't it ironic how everyone is telling the OP to dumb the girl because SHE was spinning plates, but the solution you are prescribing to the OP is that HE should be spinning plates lol??

I've been dating a girl for the past 3 months, and we've been exclusive for about 2 months and I just found out what I already expected but couldn't prove: I've been led on.

When we started f*cking, she was seeing some other dude from the dance school we both go to. While I was fine with that in the beginning, I gradually discovered that this dude was a major **** and after about a month and discovered that she had a pretty high IL, I told her it was either my way or the highway(ie, get rid of him). Next day, she was in my bed in a corset and stockings. Ever since, the sex has been on a rise and was getting better and better.

However, I was suspecting she was still in contact with the other dude but that she didn't have sex with him. However, through a mutual friend, I just discovered that she still hasn't told him about me, doesn't know what to do and apparantly still has some feelings for him, even tho telling me other wise, how she moved on and ****.

In short: Women cannot be trusted, I should have known better.

I'm not looking for advice here, because I'm dumping her.

While the solutions prescribed already are fairly accurate, there's risk involved in every relationship. I think we should just all face it, as long as you are dating women and having relations with them, there is a CHANCE that the girl could be cheating on you, could wake up one day and be a total b.itch, etc. There is NO REAL CUSHION that you can place under you to stop you from getting your heartbroken or getting burned. NONE.

"Spinning plates" helps YOU, but it doesn't improve the quality of the particular girls that you are "spinning." It only helps you not be as focused and concerned about the results of one relationship when you have multiple. It's similar to a cushion so that if you fall (the relationship goes sour), then the bottom of the landing will not be as hard because you can bounce back and just call the next girl in line. Break-ups hurt so much because most people do not have side relationships going on at the same time, thus, they are left without a mate to continue the same level of affection as before. However, when you have those side relationships still going in progress, you will feel the sting of the loss but not necessarily the sorrow. Compare this to business when you are dealing with multiple transactions at once and the ones you lose HURT, but do not cause great sorrow because other transactions are being won. The great sorrow WOULD occur if everything was being lost and no gains were being made.

However, I do not think you were the issue here, I think it was the girl. The girl was attracted to you and the other guy at the same time, and had a problem in choosing who to be with solely. You could have been spinning 5 plates, the girl would have STILL been cheating on you.

In my opinion, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this girl's actions. Even the decision to become "partners" early I do not think was the issue here either, remember, she was already WITH HIM when she met YOU. Technically, YOU were the guy she was creeping with.

You did what you were supposed to do. You seduced her, f.ucked her, when she got out of line you put your foot down. That was ALL you could do.

Now you just need to make a decision, do you really "like" this girl enough to continue the relationship and work it out? Or just end it all together?

That's a personal decision YOU need to make, because NO ONE on this forum knows this girl personally like you do to make such a recommendation.

Again lol, how can you prescribe "spinning plates" to a guy (which I don't disagree with btw) but on the same token, DEMAND he dump a chick for "spinning plates" as well? This is just a thought, but who's to say that the same psychology behind why a guy SHOULD spin plates, was not also in play with this girl in particular? Who's to say that she just wasn't keeping some "plates" on the side so that when one failed, she too would not have been down in the dumps? The girl was f.ucking the OP and the other guy at the same time, most of you labelled her a h0e (which has merit), but then why would not the OP be a h0e as well if he was spinning plates? Is it okay for the guy to do it but not the girl?

I'm just asking questions here, but I mainly stand by most of the responses already to this thread.

 

[Night Owl]

Backbreaker! You're a dyslexic mtherofukecr, but I love you.

Dyslexic rules KO - and don't forget it....

Love the advice though...

 

[The Message Boy]

Well Danger this is rather patriarchal lol.

Too many people here think by "rules" and what is "fair".

That will cripple you in the dating market. Women play by no such rules.

If a woman has multiple plates, and you are ok with it, that makes you "Beta". You automatically lose status in her eyes.

If a man has multiple plates, yes she will hate sharing you, and some women may not even put up with it. But remember the golden rule of women.

Five minutes with an Alpha is better than a lifetime with a Beta.

or another rule made famous by Pook I think...

Women would rather share a winner than have loser all to herself.

Okay but isn't everything you just typed mostly just Sosuave babble? Does it even truly apply in REAL LIFE most of the time? You mentioned Pook, but even Pook began to change alot of his concepts and stances on things through his blog and sort of began to mirror alot of the negative women-bashing concepts that you see around the Mature Man Forum today.

I'm not saying a guy shouldn't spin plates, especially if he's not truly looking to settle with someone yet (which from reading the OP's thread, it appears as though he was trying to settle down which is why he wasn't spinning plates), but what I'm saying is how can we prescribe to a guy that it's okay for him to spin plates (based on having a cushion in case one of the relationships goes bad), but yet if a woman does the same thing for the same reasons, we shun her to death?

I'm not saying spinning plates is wrong but if you are truly seeking to get into a committed relationship, don't you have to truly RISK it going south by cutting off the other plates and becoming solo with the one chick? Wouldn't the chick who was spinning plates also have to do the same? I believe the OP's anger is mostly from the fact that he decided not to spin plates and sort of settled in with this one chick, while thinking she was doing the same and wasn't. That is wrong on the chick's part, but do we now prescribe to the guy to start doing the same thing to other women who might be under the impression that he's settled with them but truly hasn't?

I just don't see this as women will all do this or men will all do that, I sort have experienced that alot of what men and women do seem to come from the same influences, insecurities, and fears. Just as you guys sit around here and develop concepts and theories to support the negative sides of women, women do the SAME THING to men. Both camps are wrong in my opinion and both sides are filled with holes, insecurity-based theories, vague assumptions, and just total overgeneralizations.

That's why I said the reason that a woman would spin plates for the most part, is very similar to why a man would, in my opinion.

 

[The Message Boy]

The main reason we advocate men spin plates is to be less needy. It helps them get rid of the dreaded one-itis disease.

The second reason is to learn what it is that we find most desirable in women. Too many men date and have a relationship with the first woman that comes along and accepts them.

Women typically do not have those two problems above. They have FAR more dating options then the majority of men. Many already know what they like and do not need to filter as much as men do.

Here's my overall stance on alot of seduction/Sosuave material, the foundation of it is off to BEGIN WITH, thus, all of the various layers of bricks built on top of that foundation is obvious going to be flaunty.

What do I mean? Well, I can go into alot of the various "problems" that men "supposedly" have with women, from rejection, to the one-itis, to the needy, to the being too nice, to the not being sexual enough, to the callign too soon, or whatever.

But at the end of the day, you can look at about every single one of these so called "problems" a man has with a woman and they almost always boil down to a couple of things:

1.) His own insecurity and vague generalizations/assumptions

2.) His own bad choices of relationship partners

3.) His own lack of internal contentment, peace, and esteem

In other words, they are not "problems" at all. Mostly, they are either imagined assumptions or just plain common sense being avoided.

For example, in this thread. Everyone said the OP's "problem" was getting into a relationship with the girl too soon. That's a "problem"? He approached her, she showed interest, she f.ucked him, and they got close, so because he wants to keep things moving along that means he has a "problem"? Seriously? Wouldn't that be what MOST guys would do? Alot of marriages have been started from very little dating! And the people are still married!

If anything the OP did wrong, was he just made a bad choice of a person to get into a relationship with. But it was out of his control, hell he didn't know she was creepin.

If a woman is unsure of her interest in a you, then would you really want a relationship with her? Or to even bother wasting time dating her?

If the girl isn't interested then no, I wouldn't waste any time on her. The girl in this thread was interested in the OP, she f.ucked him lol!

Do you think a woman would care if a man wasn't interested in her?

Absolutely. Most of the women I talk to say they either don't get approached often or the guys that approach them approach them off or their behavior is just totally unattractive.

In the REAL WORLD, most grown a.ss men (24 and up) do not run around like 9th grade adolescents who just hit puberty, drooling over a woman's breasts. Most grown a.ss men with a relatively set life (middle class level), do not act in such a fashion. Like idiotic, thirsty, individuals. I'm willing to bet that MOST grown a.ss attractive men, do not even approach alot of attractive women or women period.

So for the most part, in THE REAL WORLD, no side has greater leverage, in my opinion.

The reason I'm so voicy on this topic, is because I actually believe the MAIN problem most of the guys on these forums have is INSECURITY.

This leads to vague assumptions, overgeneralizations, etc. And Seduction Forums/Sosuave FEED this insecurity, by defining alot of the situations these guys talk about with women as "problems" and applying solutional THEORIES to them, which only f.ucking ADDS to the guy's INSECURITY!!

So the guy comes here with insecurities, vague assumptions, and overgeneralizations that make him say, "Sosuave help me understand women!" Then leaves Sosuave but only with new assumptions and overgeneralizations about women that have come from Sosuave, but now he's comforted because he has memorized all of Sosuave's theories and now has the "answer" on women. Ha!

Guys break the cycle, eliminate your insecurities/vague generalizations and deal with women on a one-on-one basis. If you have a problem with a chick, don't talk to Sosuave, don't talk to yourself, don't form assumptions about sh.it! Instead, talk to the chick and let her individual actions and choices tell you how to respond to her!

And understand, if a particular woman is a piece of sh.it, she does NOT REPRESENT the entire field of women. She only represents herself, her own motivations, her own influences, background, etc. She has not a damned thing to do with another chick clean across the room or clean across the country lol!

 

[SexyMofo]

Don't dump her until you have a team of 2-3 women. Remember the law of attraction...

If you dump her, you will have ZERO women, and we all know how hard it is to get women when you don't have any.

 

[jafyk]

Doesn't it make sense for him to dump her and move on especially since he has feelings and certain expectations of her? Continuing that relationship is just going to get him deeper even though he's also getting further away.

By the way MESSAGE BOY. I am really taken by your wisdom and thought process. Few people here like Rollo have made a good impression on me. I like the responses you offered and I think it makes sense. Although the world we live in isn't black and white. I'ill be looking out for more of your posts and responses. Oh, I think you should get a signature quote like most people here have. I think it's cool to see the quotes people associate with themselves.

 

[slaog]

Some good, interesting posts on this thread.


If you're a man with high standards its important for YOU to live by those high standards. You have to ask yourself would a man with high standards keep a woman around who has lied to him. Doing so means he lowers his standards. I'd cut all ties with her.


I don't see anything wrong with wanting an early relationship. In fact 1 month is plenty of time to get to know somebody. As somebody already said, the OP's problem was misjudging the girls character.

 

[jafyk]

I can't believe here's a reason a girl gave me for not wanting me to call her "biggest reason, I am a follower of jesus, thru and thru and I want to do what He wants me to.

second reason: I am a pretty independant person and like being free and single. "
Fine, I can respect the honesty in the 2nd reason but the first comment sounded so stuck up. I'm starting to think if a girl tells me she's a christian i should just walk away . yet, I'm a christian myself but a lot of christian girls tend to have this know it all and better than you attitude. it's so annoying.