Girl just called and canceled and was straightforward

[static]

How we met: I walked by an area of the library where she was sitting and I noticed her looking at me. I went back and sat in that area and studied for 30 minutes. As I was getting up to leave, I made EC with her and smiled. She smiled back at me and so I went and talked to her for like 20 minutes and got her number.

The call: I called her up on Sunday (a little over a week after I got the number) and we chatted. She demonstrated high interest and kept asking me questions and I denied her several times. We talked for 40 minutes. I arranged to pick up her Wednesday night to go out for a movie and she was cool with that.

She just called and cancelled, though.

Me: Hello (picked it up after 1 dial tone as I was expecting someone else whom I was exchanging with)
HB: Hi Static, it's HB, what are you doing?
Me: I'm browsing the internet
HB: Are you busy?
Me: Yeah, kind of, I'm doing research
HB: Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm not going to go Wednesday night.
Me: Why not?
HB: I don't want to. I just don't feel it for you, but it was brave of you to come and approach me like that.
Me: Oh
HB: Sorry, but I just wanted to be straightforward.
Me: Ok that's cool, bye

 

[tristan22]

That's too bad! I don't understand girls nowadays; indecisive, bi-polar, or just plain weird?

I have been meeting females whose interest level is unstable. One minute she is into me, the next minute she's not. Frustrating as heck if you ask me.

THe only advice i can give you, is to keep swinging.

Later,

Tristan

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Uhhh I'm not surprised by this at all!! You talked to her for 20 minutes before you # closed her!!! WTF are you thinking dood!! Get in, and GET OUT! Then you wait OVER A WEEK to call her. OMFG!!! That's just ridiculous man!! I know your trying to seem like your not desperate, but 2-3 days should do the trick man. Then you spend 40 minutes on the phone with her on your 1st conversation.

I'm surprised she didn't ask you to bring a box of choclates and tampons over so you guys could discuss the latest fashion trends!!

Seriously though, you made many crucial mistakes and you should appreciate the fact that she was completely honest with you.

-Talked waaaaaaaaaaaay too long on the phone

-Talked waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long on the initial # close

-Waited waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long to call


As long as you learn from this, you'll be cool.



PIMP

 

[KiInCollege]

Damn, well at least she saved you the $20 for the date.

Pimp is harsh, but he's just trying to get it in your head. Talking on the phone is not quality interaction. It's not valuable. Remember to keep the phone convos short and only for the purpose of making the date.

 

[ScrewIt]

i agree with the above, never talk for that long on the phone...the purpose of the call is to set the date and maybe a little fluff talk avg 15 mins, thats it!

1st date movies?? wtf? either coffee, eat out, or walk in the park, etc.

movies = no communication

and if she cancels you dont ask why, it's pretty obvious no?

next time if a girl cancels, just say ok that's cool, bye

BUT

if you dont ask and she were to give you a counter offer, then that means her IL is still good.

 

[peter_g]

Do you know how ridiculous some of you sound!!

Some of the advice given on this page is just absurd!!!!

Who cares that he spent 20 minutes talking to her!!! Think about it like this, if he would of spent 2 minutes talking to her and then took her out on a date then they probably would of talked just like they did in the library and she would of realized that she was not into him and he would of wasted $20.00, or maybe she just wasnt interested at all in the first place and just didnt want to admit it, which i admit is a rude thing to do but most of you can't accept the fact that not every girl is gonna like a guy who walks around with a constant ****y smirk on his face and is always distant and basically acts like an idiot to all girls which is the way that this site teaches guys to be like.

My last relationship which lasted 2 years was similiar to this situation, I met her in the computer lab. The lab was full and I sat down next to her and we started talking and then we went to lunch and talked for over 3 hours!!! Then we went out the next day and every day for the next 2 weeks!! and then it lasted over 2 years and the only reason it ended was because she moved away and neither of us wanted to deal with a long term relationship, and since then I have had plenty of dates and I don't follow any of the advice on this site!!

 

[Jimbo2k]

Re: Do you know how ridiculous some of you sound!!

Originally posted by peter_g
Some of the advice given on this page is just absurd!!!!

Who cares that he spent 20 minutes talking to her!!! Think about it like this, if he would of spent 2 minutes talking to her and then took her out on a date then they probably would of talked just like they did in the library and she would of realized that she was not into him and he would of wasted $20.00, or maybe she just wasnt interested at all in the first place and just didnt want to admit it

You bring up a good point, but your forgetting that in person you can use KINO + EC + FLIRTING to raise interest level, whereas the phone....you can BARELY use flirting.

 

[peter_g]

Come on now!!

Realistically guys!!! This whole Kino & Eye Contact & flirting thing!!! If a girl has no interest in your looks none of this stuff is going to help. Lets assume a fat ugly girl sits down do you and starts flirting with you and starts touching you and keeps starring in your eye and keeps a ****y smirk on her face, is this really gonna make you like her better?

 

[Derek Flint]

Re: Come on now!!

Originally posted by peter_g
Realistically guys!!! This whole Kino & Eye Contact & flirting thing!!! If a girl has no interest in your looks none of this stuff is going to help. Lets assume a fat ugly girl sits down do you and starts flirting with you and starts touching you and keeps starring in your eye and keeps a ****y smirk on her face, is this really gonna make you like her better?

Your logic is flawed - guys are more attracted to looks than women are.

Not to say that women aren't attracted to good-looking guys, but women are more attracted to things like confidence, intelligence, status, humor, money, power etc... while men go more for looks.

 

[Belgium_Freak]

Re: Re: Come on now!!

Originally posted by Derek Flint
Your logic is flawed - guys are more attracted to looks than women are.

Not to say that women aren't attracted to good-looking guys, but women are more attracted to things like confidence, intelligence, status, humor, money, power etc... while men go more for looks.

completely agree...

 

[chicksrock]

Re: Do you know how ridiculous some of you sound!!

Originally posted by peter_g
Some of the advice given on this page is just absurd!!!!

Who cares that he spent 20 minutes talking to her!!! Think about it like this, if he would of spent 2 minutes talking to her and then took her out on a date then they probably would of talked just like they did in the library and she would of realized that she was not into him and he would of wasted $20.00, or maybe she just wasnt interested at all in the first place and just didnt want to admit it, which i admit is a rude thing to do but most of you can't accept the fact that not every girl is gonna like a guy who walks around with a constant ****y smirk on his face and is always distant and basically acts like an idiot to all girls which is the way that this site teaches guys to be like.

My last relationship which lasted 2 years was similiar to this situation, I met her in the computer lab. The lab was full and I sat down next to her and we started talking and then we went to lunch and talked for over 3 hours!!! Then we went out the next day and every day for the next 2 weeks!! and then it lasted over 2 years and the only reason it ended was because she moved away and neither of us wanted to deal with a long term relationship, and since then I have had plenty of dates and I don't follow any of the advice on this site!!

well yea mostly agree

BUT it is a shame you have to OBEY all these rules to get the HB...
i wouldn't want an HB who falls for me only because i talked to her for 20mins on the fone as opposed to 40min..

plus in university/library its not like a club where you PIMP ..and number close in 2mins..
you have to chat them up cause you have too much common ground
1) same university
2) convo: what are you studying, etc etc

plus in the library and enivronment is such where you have to build some rapport with the chick
usually uni chicks are more conservative and stuff..and won't give you their number in 30seconds.. you have to slowly gradually build the number close

I think you should have used more C+F when she dissed you on the fone
you should've argued..
hey what do ya mean.. i'm a cool guy...come on .. i don't bite..
chicks feel to uncomfortatble going out on a date with someone they hardly know.
i feel you still have chance with this girl static..
change your approach
call her up again ..
HELL YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE SO GO FOR IT!

 

[jakethasnake]

Re: Do you know how ridiculous some of you sound!!

Originally posted by peter_g
Some of the advice given on this page is just absurd!!!!

Who cares that he spent 20 minutes talking to her!!! Think about it like this, if he would of spent 2 minutes talking to her and then took her out on a date then they probably would of talked just like they did in the library and she would of realized that she was not into him and he would of wasted $20.00, or maybe she just wasnt interested at all in the first place and just didnt want to admit it, which i admit is a rude thing to do but most of you can't accept the fact that not every girl is gonna like a guy who walks around with a constant ****y smirk on his face and is always distant and basically acts like an idiot to all girls which is the way that this site teaches guys to be like.

My last relationship which lasted 2 years was similiar to this situation, I met her in the computer lab. The lab was full and I sat down next to her and we started talking and then we went to lunch and talked for over 3 hours!!! Then we went out the next day and every day for the next 2 weeks!! and then it lasted over 2 years and the only reason it ended was because she moved away and neither of us wanted to deal with a long term relationship, and since then I have had plenty of dates and I don't follow any of the advice on this site!!

I've broken just about every DJ rule at one point or another... and still landed a chick. It's all about tailoring your approach to specific women and specific situations. For example, I've toned down the ****y, and "pretended" to supplicate in order to lull her into a sense of false security. I was in like a Stealth Bomber after that -- ZOOM! Right under her bytch-radar.

 

[Ebach]

Attraction and want are two different things. They are attracted to one thing but they want something else.

That's why I don't agree with the following quote:

Not to say that women aren't attracted to good-looking guys, but women are more attracted to things like confidence, intelligence, status, humor, money, power etc... while men go more for looks.

Ok, women ARE attracted to confidence. They are not attracted to intelligence, status, humor, money, and power. Those are the things that women VALUE in a man. They WANT those things. They don't want to go out with a loser EVEN if they're attracted to him because WHAT ARE THEIR FRIENDS GOING TO THINK? YOu can make a woman attracted to you in different ways even if she's not attracted to your looks initially.

Humor, while funny, won't get you laid unless there's an attraction. Money won't get you laid unless there's an attraction. Power won't get you laid unless there's an attraction. The guys who are not attractive, even though they're powerful, won't get laid.

Do boring politicians get laid? No. They got all the power in the world. They control the world. But they don't get laid. A woman might go out with the powerful man but she's after his money if she's not attracted to him. So power doesn't create an attraction.

I remember seeing a dating show where the guy was a millionare, he was intelligent, seemed pretty confident, but he didn't have any sexuality in him. She found him boring and unattractive. So she let him go. She said she couldn't go out with him even if he was a millionare because he simply didn't know what to do with all the money he had.

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by static
HB: Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm not going to go Wednesday night.
Me: Why not?
HB: I don't want to. I just don't feel it for you, but it was brave of you to come and approach me like that.
Me: Oh
HB: Sorry, but I just wanted to be straightforward.

Hey! At least she was honest and didn't give you some fantasy reason about why she was canceling the date. Gotta give the girl props for that!

 

[xblitz44x]

Jesus, it had nothing to do with how you long you talked to her when you met her, or on the phone. Trust me. NOTHING to do with it. Maybe she wanted to know some more things about you but everytime she asked you avoided the question. Maybe she felt uncomfortable going out with somebody she didn't know very well and that was her attempt to get to know you. Maybe she detected you were playing games. Who knows? But I promise you that it didn't have anything to do with the duration of time that you talked with her. Hang in there, I give you credit for approaching her and getting her number in the first place. congrats.