Girl is very high IL, yet...

[Masculinity]

I have been seeing hb8 for about two months. She's 19, an awesome cook, beautiful, playful, and what not. She basically treats me like a king and is very compliant. However, one thing I have noticed is she does not ask me out, ever. At the beginning, she hardly ever initiated contact. And I am completely fine with that and don't care much. What I find confusing is how she is super cool and high IL when we hang, yet waits for me to take the next step. She even tells me that she misses me.

What did I do? I reduced the number of times I text her; there are times when I go the whole day without texting her and that is when she began initiating contact. I have been doing it more little by little and it's getting better. On the contrary, she simply waits for me to tell her when we're going to meet again and if she's coming to my place or vice versa (and what we're doing). This has been true even when she has called/texted me to cancel (because of an ill family member and a job interview). She seems like a very traditional girl. She is submissive to me and very open to practically whatever I want sexually. She also pays for me when we go out, snuggles up on me when we're in bed and asks me questions all the time. I don't get it.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

 

[Ringleader41]

she doesn't care about you as much as you care about her. Her interest is lower than yours. You're probably phvcked because I'm going to assume you're not phvcking this girl because I'm pretty sure you would have stated it in your op.

 

[Fly By Night]

Did she openly say she is "submissive"? This is the same exact thing that happened with this one girl. In the half year we've been seeing each other, I would say that she only initiated the texting like twice. Turns out, she is into some BD SM stuff and the submissive talk was like some slave/master sh!t and wanted me to choke her while making out, LMAO. I don't know if there is a correlation between those patterns, but your case sounded exactly like mine. She loves hanging with me, but never contacts me.

Tis' a shame. She's great to be around, but I find it to be a requirement for a girl to try to want and try to hang out with me. Makes me think if she's seeing other dudes in the meantime.

 

[nismo-4]

OP, she's juggling you and another man (men). Don't get attached.

Case closed. Spin more plates.

 

[zinc4]

I have been seeing hb8 for about two months. She's 19, an awesome cook, beautiful, playful, and what not. She basically treats me like a king and is very compliant. However, one thing I have noticed is she does not ask me out, ever. At the beginning, she hardly ever initiated contact. And I am completely fine with that and don't care much. What I find confusing is how she is super cool and high IL when we hang, yet waits for me to take the next step. She even tells me that she misses me.

What did I do? I reduced the number of times I text her; there are times when I go the whole day without texting her and that is when she began initiating contact. I have been doing it more little by little and it's getting better. On the contrary, she simply waits for me to tell her when we're going to meet again and if she's coming to my place or vice versa (and what we're doing). This has been true even when she has called/texted me to cancel (because of an ill family member and a job interview). She seems like a very traditional girl. She is submissive to me, yet very open to practically whatever I want sexually. She also pays for me when we go out, snuggles up on me when we're in bed and asks me questions all the time. I don't get it.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

Wow...you go a whole day without texting her?! lol....she is attracted to you, but you are SMOTHERING her...quit texting her and asking her out and see what happens..if she likes you, she will ask you out or either say why haven't ytou messaged or asked me out depending on how submissive she is...some women are actually traditional acting after some brainwashing by their parents and sincerely expect the guy to ask them out....but sounds like you are the pursuer here not her...take it easy on the texting and let her initiate a lot more...

 

[VladPatton]

Hold on a second, men. Lets go back to 1985. Or 1965. How the hell did people get laid, go out on dates, or have kids? No cells, no Facebook, and no texting was involved. Perhaps this girl doesn't care for the technology crap and is just a 100% face time person. I'd call it a blessing. Ƒuck all that texting crap, it'll most likely screw you up at one point anyway.

Is is weird nowadays? A little, considering how much chicks love texting, but it doesn't mean she is banging other dudes or has dipping interest. Does your dad text your mom every 4 hrs to see what she's doing? No.

I say adapt to the relationship and see how it goes with her.

If she wants to bang other dudes, she'll do it even if you are handcuffed to her.

 

[Purefilth]

I have been seeing hb8 for about two months. She's 19, an awesome cook, beautiful, playful, and what not. She basically treats me like a king and is very compliant. However, one thing I have noticed is she does not ask me out, ever. At the beginning, she hardly ever initiated contact. And I am completely fine with that and don't care much. What I find confusing is how she is super cool and high IL when we hang, yet waits for me to take the next step. She even tells me that she misses me.

What did I do? I reduced the number of times I text her; there are times when I go the whole day without texting her and that is when she began initiating contact. I have been doing it more little by little and it's getting better. On the contrary, she simply waits for me to tell her when we're going to meet again and if she's coming to my place or vice versa (and what we're doing). This has been true even when she has called/texted me to cancel (because of an ill family member and a job interview). She seems like a very traditional girl. She is submissive to me, yet very open to practically whatever I want sexually. She also pays for me when we go out, snuggles up on me when we're in bed and asks me questions all the time. I don't get it.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

Enjoy it buddy, dont go overanalysing and thinking too much - not all girls are juggling c0ck.

I dont get how a girl not blowing up your phone is a red flag... In light of the other info here she likes you.
She obviously likes to be led, so carry on and lead. ENJOY the time with her - have fun.

Give it a couple more months, she'll start getting possiessive of you

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Y'know, sometimes I think people giving their input on these types of situations automatically go for the negative viewpoint. And it's quite sad, 'cause it makes telling the difference between a girl that's interested in you vs. not interested a lot harder.

Dude, look at the sum total of this girl's actions:

Cooks for you
Treats you like a king
Very compliant
Is submissive
Accepts suggested date ideas
Open to doing what you want sexually
Pays for you when you go out
Is always trying to find out more about you

Dude... WHAT THE F--K ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?!?

Seriously, this is a non-issue. It doesn't matter the reason why she doesn't initiate a date, all that matters is that she keeps going out with you. With that said: if it's a big deal to you, why not just ASK her to plan a date? Set it up where it's like "Hey, once a month we should both plan an outing for the other one, like a surprise date." Very simple, man.

But really - she's PAYING for you?? Seriously, WHAT THE F--K ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?!?

 

[Masculinity]

Wow...you go a whole day without texting her?! lol....she is attracted to you, but you are SMOTHERING her...quit texting her and asking her out and see what happens..if she likes you, she will ask you out or either say why haven't ytou messaged or asked me out depending on how submissive she is...some women are actually traditional acting after some brainwashing by their parents and sincerely expect the guy to ask them out....but sounds like you are the pursuer here not her...take it easy on the texting and let her initiate a lot more...

First, let me tell you the context of the texting. She is very responsive to my replies. She even double texts me when I don't respond (so that she hears back from me). Sometimes I am genuinely handling my business and cannot get back to her for hours, so that's fine. And lately, initiating contact through text has gotten much better with her. I am not smothering her for sure; in fact, I text her less frequently than she does and what not, but I don't want to get technical.

Let's just say she is texting me first more often now, which is good. She is also very quiet on the phone at times though. Am I alone, or are you guys starting to notice a trend of submissive personality traits here? My hypothesis is she simply was socialized in a traditional manner--that is, waiting for the male to initiate meetings and sex so that her value in the eyes of the former is not compromised (so that she doesn't look like a slut).

Did she openly say she is "submissive"?

I find it to be a requirement for a girl to try to want and try to hang out with me.

She doesn't articulate it, but it is obvious through her actions. She likes being controlled sexually, asks me what she should do, asks me what I want, etc. Interestingly, she is quiet and behaves innocently in public. But when we are alone and I do sexual stuff to her, she goes crazy and gets loud so there might be a link between not initiating contact and sexuality.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

First, let me tell you the context of the texting. She is very responsive to my replies. She even double texts me when I don't respond (so that she hears back from me). Sometimes I am genuinely handling my business and cannot get back to her for hours, so that's fine. And lately, initiating contact through text has gotten much better with her. I am not smothering her for sure; in fact, I text her less frequently than she does and what not, but I don't want to get technical.

Let's just say she is texting me first more often now, which is good. She is also very quiet on the phone at times though. Am I alone, or are you guys starting to notice a trend of submissive personality traits here? My hypothesis is she simply was socialized in a traditional manner--that is, waiting for the male to initiate meetings and sex so that her value in the eyes of the former is not compromised (so that she doesn't look like a slut).





She doesn't articulate it, but it is obvious through her actions. She likes being controlled sexually, asks me what she should do, asks me what I want, etc. Interestingly, she is quiet and behaves innocently in public. But when we are alone and I do sexual stuff to her, she goes crazy and gets loud so there might be a link between not initiating contact and sexuality.

She's a slvt! She's screwing everyone and everything! You will be sorry! She's mind fvcking you! Go NC IMMEDIATELY! LMAO.

Seriously she's most likely just from a traditional family and either they raised her to believe the man "if he really likes her" should make all the moves. And or her friends put things in her ear like: "Oh all the men I've dated chased ME." So she may be thinking a little that if she initiates you will think she's "on your sh1t" somehow. Could also be in magazines she reads.

Simply ask her why she doesn't ask you out at times and that you believe in a 50/50 relationship where you both want to see each other and not just one person makes all the moves.

You may want to kid her and tell her you feel like her "master" at times in a joking manner and see how she reacts. You may wind up getting into a more kinky sexual relationship along with her taking the hint to ask you out too. The only downside even if she prefers you asking her out and even if she likes you being her "master" is you may get tired of always being the one to initiate. So talk to her about it. COMMUNICATION.

Again. Just ask her why she doesn't ask you out at times. After she gives you her answer you can post it in this thread if you like.

 

[Purefilth]

Again. Just ask her why she doesn't ask you out at times. After she gives you her answer you can post it in this thread if you like.

please do, itll prove to those negative fvckers at the top that not all girls are nasty, dirty , bed-hopping hoes!

 

[Naughty Ninja]

please do, itll prove to those negative fvckers at the top that not all girls are nasty, dirty , bed-hopping hoes!

^^^White knight, beta, AFC, simp, Feminist supporter ALERT! We need a SS Alpha intervention! :trouble: Stat! LMAO. :crackup:

 

[floydb25]

^^^White knight, beta, AFC, simp, Feminist supporter ALERT! We need a SS Alpha intervention! :trouble: Stat! LMAO. :crackup:

I think... I love you. But it won't let me rep you anymore.

 

[aron77]

Alot of girls just don't feel comfortable taking the intitiative in the early stages and many have that old school frame of mind to never call a boy and make him pursue. If she is responsive to you when you make an effort then I don't see a problem. I take alot out of the mind set of sites like this but if you are actually looking for something real and not to just bang a bunch of chicks then you have to take some of it with a grain of salt.

 

[Masculinity]

Is is weird nowadays? A little, considering how much chicks love texting, but it doesn't mean she is banging other dudes or has dipping interest. Does your dad text your mom every 4 hrs to see what she's doing? No.

I say adapt to the relationship and see how it goes with her.

If she wants to bang other dudes, she'll do it even if you are handcuffed to her.

Thank you for this ^ It's good to hear something other than the negative "she's banging other dudes" automatic response.

Seriously she's most likely just from a traditional family and either they raised her to believe the man "if he really likes her" should make all the moves.

Simply ask her why she doesn't ask you out at times and that you believe in a 50/50 relationship where you both want to see each other and not just one person makes all the moves.

Again. Just ask her why she doesn't ask you out at times. After she gives you her answer you can post it in this thread if you like.

Hands down the best answer to my thread. I don't think I love you like the other guy but thanks a lot, man! I also received your PM. I actually just got off the phone with her and asked her straight up. She basically answered that she didn't ask me out because she knows I'm busy and she is scared that I will reject her invitation.

Before calling, I sent her a text saying "Call me when you get home. There is something I want us to talk about." She replied minutes later saying "Sure, that sounds good. Is everything okay?" And when we were on the phone she said "Woah, I'm relieved this is what you wanted to talk about. I thought it'd be much worse; I thought you were going to tell me you met someone else."

So there is the proof! She wasn't a psycho, banging other dudes, socialized to wait for the guy, or whatnot. The girl is simply insecure and prefers that I take the leadership so that she doesn't have to put herself at risk of rejection. Needless to say, she agreed to asking me out even though my schedule is tight. She also agreed to telling me if she feels nervous about asking me out, although she really wants to see me. There are good women out there. They are rare, but they exist. I'm hanging on to this one. Thanks to those of you with the constructive replies, especially Ninja. You got some rep going your way

Keep being money,

-R

 

[Sofomore]

Yea bro she's already banged a couple of other dudes. She must be a cvm-dumpster. Jesus, some of the posters here are fvcking retarded as hell.

My last girlfriend never initiated hanging out. Sometimes its just the girl. It was weird for me at first, but I think that it comes down to them liking you so much that they want to make sure you are in it for real, not to just hit and quit.
I went on to date her for 2 years and had the best relationship I've ever had.

Stop analyzing so much man. You have something great. She is just a little different in her style of dating.

To the others who say "No bro, she's getting double teamed. Go NC, next her for sure!". Please, shut the fvck up.

 

[Sofomore]

Thank you for this ^ It's good to hear something other than the negative "she's banging other dudes" automatic response.




Hands down the best answer to my thread. I don't think I love you like the other guy but thanks a lot, man! I also received your PM. I actually just got off the phone with her and asked her straight up. She basically answered that she didn't ask me out because she knows I'm busy and she is scared that I will reject her invitation.

Before calling, I sent her a text saying "Call me when you get home. There is something I want us to talk about." She replied minutes later saying "Sure, that sounds good. Is everything okay?" And when we were on the phone she said "Woah, I'm relieved this is what you wanted to talk about. I thought it'd be much worse; I thought you were going to tell me you met someone else."

So there is the proof! She wasn't a psycho, banging other dudes, socialized to wait for the guy, or whatnot. The girl is simply insecure and prefers that I take the leadership so that she doesn't have to put herself at risk of rejection. Needless to say, she agreed to asking me out even though my schedule is tight. She also agreed to telling me if she feels nervous about asking me out, although she really wants to see me. There are good women out there. They are rare, but they exist. I'm hanging on to this one. Thanks to those of you with the constructive replies, especially Ninja. You got some rep going your way

Keep being money,

-R

Haha yea man, she's a keeper.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You trippin. Be a man and initiate the hook-ups. Sounds to me like she is old school and that is wifey material. Cooks for you and takes care of you and treats you like a king?? You better go ahead and main that up. But don't think too much about why she isn't initiating hookups. When I first started dating my GF she never initiated the hookups. But I never called her either. So she would be doing all the calling and I would be doing all the initiating hookups.

Don't analyze it. Nothing is wrong.

 

[Trump]

Y'know, sometimes I think people giving their input on these types of situations automatically go for the negative viewpoint. And it's quite sad, 'cause it makes telling the difference between a girl that's interested in you vs. not interested a lot harder.

Dude, look at the sum total of this girl's actions:

Cooks for you
Treats you like a king
Very compliant
Is submissive
Accepts suggested date ideas
Open to doing what you want sexually
Pays for you when you go out
Is always trying to find out more about you

Dude... WHAT THE F--K ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?!?

My only concern would be a hot 19 year coming on this strong, it sounds like they are have an ulterior motive or are over compensating for something, usually hot 19 year olds have the world at their fingertips.

I may cause some controversy but I will say be careful with her not initiating, especially in North America where its 50/50. My brother's wife did ALL the above AND more, but SHE never initiated contact. Why? Because when she killed him, she told the cops "I never told him to call me, he was so infatuated and in love me he couldn't resist me." Cops said ok, she married her boyfriend 72 hours later with all his money. She's probably not sleeping with anybody, but her not contacting you is a way to protect herself.

Or I could be completely off and she could be very in love with you...just be careful.