Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks

[Bigpapa]

99% chance she doesn't message you, and you shouldn't bother either

very likely , but as a rule , it is better to know that you did everything possible to get her , rather than knowing that you could have but you did not

hitting her again after a couple of weeks is not a biggy , but not being able to move on if it does not go your way it is

As a rule , always be outcome independent . If it happens great , if it does not happen , then you will find another cool girl

 

[evansblue]

99% chance she doesn't message you, and you shouldn't bother either

Why are guys on this forum so negative? lol, it's always worse case scenario.

Here's a thought experiment: How many guys would feel compelled to respond after an attractive woman tells them there's a possibility of a date? Every. Single. One.

He's separating himself from the pack by being aloof, and saying NOTHING. The girl is going to eventually wonder why he isn't responding, especially after telling him next weekend could "possibly" work for drinks. Every other guy would text her back in more detail to confirm the date because the curiosity would eat at them.

You don't tell her she isn't being decisive. By not replying your subtly conveying the message, without giving away your power. Your essentially saying "You have to tell me something more concrete" without actually saying it. The vast majority of guys can't do that.

It's been two days. Next weekend is like 10 days away. Chill.

 

[evansblue]

This woman blew him off? How did you come to that conclusion?

If she wasn't interested, she would have said "Sorry, I have a boyfriend."

But she didn't say that. She's already initiated contact once after he stopped. She mentioned she was "talking" to someone who lives far away, but countered and STILL wanted to grab drinks.

Women who aren't interested don't behave that way.

 

[evansblue]

In reverse order:

1. Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks
   Update: It's been almost 2 days with no contact since she said "possibly" to next weekendthat I didn't respond to. Thoughts?
   • GreatHornedOwl
   • Post #68
   • Today at 6:00 PM
   • Forum: Don Juan Discussion
2. G
   Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks
   Thanks for hijacking my thread guys, lol.
   • GreatHornedOwl
   • Post #58
   • Yesterday at 7:01 PM
   • Forum: Don Juan Discussion
3. G
   Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks
   I guess the only problem right now is it's going to potentially be 2 weeks before we meet up, assuming she doesn't push it back. She works this weekend, and then she said possibly to the following weekend.How am I going to keep things fresh for 2+ weeks in text?
   • GreatHornedOwl
   • Post #52
   • Yesterday at 6:11 PM
   • Forum: Don Juan Discussion
4. G
   Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks
   So we talked for a little bit, and she told me she was working this weekend. I said maybe we could do the following weekend if her schedule was open. She said: Possibly
   • GreatHornedOwl
   • Post #14
   • Tuesday at 9:28 PM
   • Forum: Don Juan Discussion
5. G
   Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks
   She says he lives far away, he's been busy and she does her own thing a lot. She's blowing my phone up as I type this. I love the chase!
   • GreatHornedOwl
   • Post #4
   • Tuesday at 7:35 PM
   • Forum: Don Juan Discussion
6. G
   Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks
   I grabbed this girls number, talked for a bit, and asked if she wanted to grab a drink on the weekend. She said "possibly". I didn't respond after that. She initiated two days later saying "Hey". We started talking again. She said "I have to be honest with you, I'm talking to someone but I want to be friends...

What was that dude? Yeah, it's in reverse order, I get it. But you manipulated that to make it seem like she said "possibly" like 6 times. And the weekend that they might get drinks hasn't even come around yet.

And what you failed to put in bold was that she contacted him after he stopped.

I'm not saying he has it in the bag, but you're really being negative here.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

I f*cking hate that lame phrase 'grab drinks'. As a direct guy, I never say that. I'm just upfront about about my intentions.

OP, you care too much and are overanalyzing. If she's not reciprocating your offer to get together in person, then delete her number and move on. As the guys here say, 'spin more plates', and your neediness and oneitis towards this chick will vanish.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

She texted me: Hey how was your work week?

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Update:

We've been texting lightly every other day or so. I'm keeping it very minimal for the most part. It's never been two days straight.

It's odd to me she said she was "talking" to someone, but wanted to be friends and would love to grab a drink.

Most women in that situation would have just said "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend."

I forgot to mention, when she told me she was "talking" to someone much earlier in the conversation, I said this:

Me: If you're involved, I get it. That's cool.
Her: Well, if you're hesitant, I understand. I'm a pretty laid back person and if you ever wanted to get together you have my number.

I'm not really sure what she was getting at here.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Me: If you're involved, I get it. That's cool.
Her: Well, if you're hesitant, I understand. I'm a pretty laid back person and if you ever wanted to get together you have my number.

I'm not really sure what she was getting at here.

Either, she's getting the physical from the boyfriend and looking for the emotional connection from another... or you are going to be her potential side action.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

I've had plenty of hookups, I'd want to pursue something more with this girl.

 

[2Rocky]

Treat her like a booty call.

Next time she texts you, reply back. "Come on over, this Ice Cream ain't gonna eat itself.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Update:

I haven't talked to her since Sunday. I texted her:

Me: Hey, are you going to be around this weekend?
Her: Unfortunately no, I'll be with my sister this weekend. What's up? What about next weekend maybe?
Me: I wanted to see what you had going on. Let me know.

Thoughts, concerns? lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've had plenty of hookups, I'd want to pursue something more with this girl.

Based on what? You don't even know her.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Based on the fact I've had plenty of hookups. So in other words, I'm trying to connect with this girl to see if there's a possibility of something more.

 

[Billtx49]

Her: What's up? What about next weekend maybe?

Me: I wanted to see what you had going on. Let me know.

Her: Invitation to you to set something up

Me: You kicking the ball directly back to her court for her to make a date.

Let me know? Who’s calling the shots here…

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

What? I was going to ask her this weekend, she basically said no. What else am I supposed to do? Keep asking? C'mon.

 

[Billtx49]

What? I was going to ask her this weekend, she basically said no. What else am I supposed to do? Keep asking? C'mon.

Her: What about next weekend maybe?
( I don’t have any plans for that weekend yet)

Followed by your missed opportunity to get a date set…

It’s not as difficult as you’re trying to make it.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Last week she told me possibly for this weekend. She's telling me maybe again.

Make sure you read the info before you comment.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Based on the fact I've had plenty of hookups. So in other words, I'm trying to connect with this girl to see if there's a possibility of something more.

That really isn't how it works. That's how people end up in fvcked up relationships by trying to fit round pegs into square holes so they can say they are in a relationship. It should flow naturally and just sort of happen...

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

What's your point here? What does that have to do with the update I gave?

Are you trying to tell me I shouldn't want something more than just hookups? Why are people on this forum so weird?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What's your point here? What does that have to do with the update I gave?

Are you trying to tell me I shouldn't want something more than just hookups? Why are people on this forum so weird?

No not at all but going into a situation saying "I want something more with this woman" when you don't even know her or if she would even qualify for anything more than a hookup is kind of silly. There are a lot of other things to consider other than how hot she is and that information won't be known for a few months at best.