Girl i'm going out is rude sometimes

[djthiago1]

Yes I do. Your concern for her sensitivity to criticism, while she herself is criticizing you, is something you should spend some time pondering.

Side stepping it and being indirect via agree and amplify or throwing it back at her definitely can work too, but not always. Speaking your truth, setting boundaries, and being willing to walk away always works. Just be sure it's something important and that you aren't bothered by every little thing. The Doc Love comment is fairly direct and communicates that you don't like it without making it seem like you are making a huge deal out of it, so that's fine. Agree and Amplify, IMHO is best for sh*t tests a girl you JUST met might give you to size you up, or one of your girl's friends might do to you.

Im not worried about her getting hurt by it, what i mean about sensitivity, is that people get defensive about criticism and reject everything you say out of self defense, im talking about human nature .

Thats why i was planning of going for a side shot like : 'know what i really like about women? When they criticize' staring with a very serious face.

It feels less accusing and more about my personal feelings so somebody else is more likelly to be receptive to it and take it seriously.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Im not worried about her getting hurt by it, what i mean about sensitivity, is that people get defensive about criticism and reject everything you say out of self defense, im talking about human nature .

Some people are like that, sure. Do you want to spend your valuable time with people who are like that? What does the future holds with a girl like that? Are you really criticizing her or are you telling her you don't like it when she criticizes you? She is welcome to reject what you say, and if she does, she is welcome to have no more of your time and attention. Do this and she will either come to her senses, apologize, and get back with you, or she will move on and make some other guy's life miserable instead of yours. Win-win for you.

 

[djthiago1]

Some people are like that, sure. Do you want to spend your valuable time with people who are like that? What does the future holds with a girl like that? Are you really criticizing her or are you telling her you don't like it when she criticizes you? She is welcome to reject what you say, and if she does, she is welcome to have no more of your time and attention. Do this and she will either come to her senses, apologize, and get back with you, or she will move on and make some other guy's life miserable instead of yours. Win-win for you.

Thats the plan, she ll get a warning, she does it again, im dropping her.

 

[HankHill]

A couple of things:

1. Don't be so sensitive dude...you're a guy, guys need to have a much thicker skin. Just laugh it off and give her some shyte back as others said.
2. Don't overlook the fact that may be she's saying it because she feels comfortable enough to point them out rather than as a disrespect. Perhaps these are small changes you could make to look/dress more attractive...which is a win win.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Tell her that wasn´t a very nice thing to said and now you have to spank her.

 

[RangerMIke]

So mirroring would be better than calling her out? Just wanna b crystal clear on this.

Yeah.... Calling out chicks when they are acting like chicks is like shaking your fist at the sky when it rains. Calling her out just sends a message that you care what she thinks of you: changing your behavior also signals that you care what she thinks of you. Really the best COA is to ignore her comments and keep doing what you want. But if you think you HAVE to say something... then give it back to her and make a joke about it.

Women are experts at emotional manipulation; men are experts at staying on purpose and getting things done. Women emotionally manipulate men to do what they want. It starts off with little things, then as she sees she can get you to do things for her, she will up her game until you push back. These are not 'tests' that you pass/fail the chick isn't testing YOU... she is only seeing how far she can get... If at some point she sees you are emotionally committed... well, then and only then will she evaluate you and determine if you are worth keeping and what you have done or are doing for her is not relevant... because deep down, she really doesn't care about you... she only cares about how you make her feel.

 

[djthiago1]

A couple of things:

1. Don't be so sensitive dude...you're a guy, guys need to have a much thicker skin. Just laugh it off and give her some shyte back as others said.
2. Don't overlook the fact that may be she's saying it because she feels comfortable enough to point them out rather than as a disrespect. Perhaps these are small changes you could make to look/dress more attractive...which is a win win.

I know she's not serious about it, if she was seriously disrespecting me i probably wouldve already dropped her she has an immense sense of humor and is even cool about self deprecating humor, example: after sex we were wondering how her hair didnt get messy, and she said that it was probably cause its a bit dirty, so the dirt must have held it in place, she said that jokingly, but the thing is, ive seen first hand how these put downs escalate and become disrespectful

 

[HankHill]

I know she's not serious about it, she has an immense sense of humor and is even cool about self deprecating humor, example: after sex we were wondering how her hair didnt get messy, and she said that it was probably cause its a bit dirty, so the dirt must have held it in place, she said that jokingly, but the thing is, ive seen first hand how these put downs escalate and become disrespectful

If that's true then apply the best medicine I know to deal with women's shyte...silence and distance.

 

[bob2007]

I've had this, have you made out with her or banged her yet? Do it, and then re-evaluate. This aggression needs sexual release.

 

[djthiago1]

I've had this, have you made out with her or banged her yet? Do it, and then re-evaluate. This aggression needs sexual release.

The pants comment was literally 10 minutes after sex, not sure if that was a put down tho.

 

[sazc]

The pants comment was literally 10 minutes after sex, not sure if that was a put down tho.

10 minutes after she has sex with you she says "i like your pants but they are the wrong size and don't look good on you"?!

why we're your pants back on 10 minutes after you had sex with her? maybe she was mad you had to dash home and didn't want to cuddle?

 

[djthiago1]

10 minutes after she has sex with you she says "i like your pants but they are the wrong size and don't look good on you"?!

why we're your pants back on 10 minutes after you had sex with her? maybe she was mad you had to dash home and didn't want to cuddle?

That was the second session, we had to go cause it was late, and it was more of 'i think your pants are the wrong size', than 'your pants are the wrong size and youre ugly asf', her comments arent that offensive per se, im just trying to be proactive and nib this in the bud before it grows to something worse.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

An easy way to handle anything like this is to listen to her and say:

"Hmm. Maybe you're right." and then act like it's no biggie and forget about it.

If you act like her words are important she might start to believe you. Then you'll have a real problem.

 

[djthiago1]

An easy way to handle anything like this is to listen to her and say:

"Hmm. Maybe you're right." and then act like it's no biggie and forget about it.

If you act like her words are important she might start to believe you. Then you'll have a real problem.

What if thats a habit? Saying nothing could simply make it go on indefinetely.

 

[sazc]

That was the second session, we had to go cause it was late, and it was more of 'i think your pants are the wrong size', than 'your pants are the wrong size and youre ugly asf', her comments arent that offensive per se, im just trying to be proactive and nib this in the bud before it grows to something worse.

I think I know what happened.... She saw that you were struggling to stuff your junk back in to your pants and decided to let you know your pants must be to small?! Am I right?!

 

[sazc]

An easy way to handle anything like this is to listen to her and say:

"Hmm. Maybe you're right." and then act like it's no biggie and forget about it.

If you act like her words are important she might start to believe you. Then you'll have a real problem.

I like this. Then wait and see. A lot of times when we refuse to give someone's words power, they realize their effort is wasted.

personally, I'm into stating my expectations in an effort to see how serious the other person is about me. If they blow your request off, you know where you stand.

 

[djthiago1]

I think I know what happened.... She saw that you were struggling to stuff your junk back in to your pants and decided to let you know your pants must be to small?! Am I right?!

Interesting, another possibility, cause she mentioned my dicc immediatly after cause i wear no underwear, and when i was explaining the size of the pants, she thought i was talking about my dicc too. Especially since my dicc was right in front of her, who couldve looked at someones feet at that time...

 

[djthiago1]

I like this. Then wait and see. A lot of times when we refuse to give someone's words power, they realize their effort is wasted.

personally, I'm into stating my expectations in an effort to see how serious the other person is about me. If they blow your request off, you know where you stand.

She doesnt do it purpose though, it just comes out like its no big deal, i could tell by the way she talks about everything else.

 

[Mazer]

Ignore and demote her to just drinks and sex.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What if thats a habit? Saying nothing could simply make it go on indefinetely.

The opposite is likely true. She says stuff like this to get a reaction. If you keep reacting, she'll keep doing it.

If you keep ignoring it, or playfully reframing it, she may give up.

OTOH, she might have deeper issues and if you ignore her then she'll get angrier, in which case you can DQ her.

Calibration is important. Different people do the same thing for different reasons.

A larger issue may be how much importance you put on other people's opinions. Ideally it shouldn't be much.