Girl I'm dating denied sex. Think I failed a colossal **** test. Salvageable?

[Anders29]

We've been dating about 4 months. We recently had the LTR talk and tonight we started messing around in my car after a little break. The house we were parked in front of turned their porch light on a few time and this might have scared her off. Earlier in the night the **** tests were a little more frequent than usual because of the possible LTR on the horizon. We started making out, I took her bra off and after a couple minutes went for her jeans. She said no and she didn't feel like it but I kept on making out and eventually the pants came off. She said I'm not getting her panties off and after a little bit of fingering they also came off without any resistance.

I'm eating her out and she stops me and tells me she doesn't feel like it. I asked her why not? And she said she's just not in the mood and "just because". She also said she "wants to be a prude tonight" Big sh*t test?

I messed up by asking her "why not?" and "cmon" a few times like a desperate idiot.

I asked to to blow me atleast since I got her off and she also said she didn't feel like it. I asked a couple more times as she was putting her clothes on. Feel like a chump. "Not when you ask like that" and "I should want to suck it, you shouldn't have to ask me"

At the time I didn't realize I sounded like a desperate pathetic beta but on the drive home I realized I completely failed that test.

She left my car and we didn't say bye to each other. God damn it...I usually knock sh*t tests down easily but this was the first time she tested me by denying sex so I had idea what to do or say.

Do girls do this to try and gain leverage and power in a relationship? Trying to control me with sex?

What now? Is this salvageable at all? I'm going to go no contact for a week. Any tips? She thinks I have other women in my life but I don't as of now. After that, what's my move? Initiate contact like nothing ever happened? If it helps, I passed every other test that night

Thanks guys

 

[hop On hop Off]

It is hard to diagnose the situation without actually knowing details.

You lost some grounds. But that's ok.

You and her may started at 50-50, maybe now it is 30-70. These numbers are not fixed anyways. You can get it back up with the right mind set.

No need to think about this anymore. What has happened, happened. Look forward, do not make the same mistake again. Re-frame with the right mind set.

Is she leveraging the relationship with sex? It is possible, but hard to tell. You must use your instinct and decide for yourself. Others were not present. What others say may misguide you rather than help you.

You did not do so hot this time. That is ok. You can make a come back.

 

[Anders29]

It is hard to diagnose the situation without actually knowing details.

You lost some grounds. But that's ok.

You and her may started at 50-50, maybe now it is 30-70. These numbers are not fixed anyways. You can get it back up with the right mind set.

No need to think about this anymore. What has happened, happened. Look forward, do not make the same mistake again. Re-frame with the right mind set.

Is she leveraging the relationship with sex? It is possible, but hard to tell. You must use your instinct and decide for yourself. Others were not present. What others say may misguide you rather than help you.

You did not do so hot this time. That is ok. You can make a come back.

What other details do you need? I honestly still feel like I "run" the relationship. I have great frame control in ALL other aspects but I've never been denied sex like she did to me. I know that I shouldn't have let it bother me but at the time I wasn't even thinking.

 

[pyros]

I think you have DJ overdose as many guys here.

You're analyzing everything in terms of: being alpha, being beta, keeping my frame, making her jelaous, blah blah blah...not good.

Insted of this, you should be having a normal relationship and enjoying it while being normal at the same time.

It is obvious but I will enlighten you: she didnt want to have sex in that moment, in your car, and in the middle of the streets. That's all, and it is perfectly understandable. Or it could be that she just did not want to have sex that damn night. But you think it is because "she's trying to gain power over you with her evil woman technics..."

Yes, you acted 'beta' cause if she doesnt feel like it and it is a girl you've already banged several times etc, and you even said that you talked about being in a LTR..., if she doesn't feel like it, just call it a day man...no biggie. It is not that she is denying you sex to gain control over you, one time...and another time...and another time...
But you had to start with all the DJ crap in your head so you insisted and even asked her to blow you because you made her orgasm. Well, firstly you should not have given her an orgasm, and secondly you shouldnt have had sex in the first place cause the setting was not appropiate and she did not feel like it.

Just contact her as usual and forget about it, and do not 'force' her to have sex if she's not turned on and is not willing to s-uck your dic-k. As she said "she should be wanting to su-ck your co-ck, not doing it just cause you wanna force it".

And stop DJ-analyzing everything. You just need to be a man, have some boundaries, have fun with her, have a healthy relationship and that's all.
You have DJ overdose as I said, and having too much DJ information can fu-ck up your head and the way you behave with women.

 

[jurry]

Have you had sex with her before?

 

[Anders29]

I think you have DJ overdose as many guys here.

You're analyzing everything in terms of: being alpha, being beta, keeping my frame, making her jelaous, blah blah blah...not good.

Insted of this, you should be having a normal relationship and enjoying it while being normal at the same time.

It is obvious but I will enlighten you: she didnt want to have sex at that moment, in your car, and in the middle of the streets. That's all, and it is perfectly understandable. Or it could be that she just did not want to have sex that damn night. But you think it is because "she's trying to gain power over you with her evil woman technics..."

Yes, you acted 'beta' cause if she doesnt feel like it, and it is a girl you've already banged several times etc, and you even said that you talked about being in a LTR..., if she doesn't feel like it, just call it a day man...no biggie.
But you had to start with all the DJ crap in your head so you insisted and even asked her to blow you because you made her orgasm...well, you should not have given her an orgasm, but you shouldnt have had sex in the first place cause the setting was not appropiate and she did not feel like it.

Just contact her as usual and forget about it, and do not 'force' sex if she's not turned on and is willing to s-uck your dic-k. As she said "she should be wanting to su-ck your co-ck, not doing it when she doesnt feel like it and you wanna force her".

You're 100% right. I absolutely overthink everything because of my "pua knowledge"

Im starting to think every damn thing is a sh*t test.

We have been messing around in my car, in that same neighborhood for the past 4 months with absolutely NO problems. Its nothing new to her and its the only possible place we can do it. We can't use our apartments, we both live with our families. She even said "lets get in the back seat" the night she denied me.

 

[Anders29]

Have you had sex with her before?

Yes i have

 

[EvilSpirit22]

I faced a similar situation. The problem is After a woman cums her sex drive goes down and then the mood is ****ed up. From next time don't make her ***. As soon as she is about to *** just withdraw the pleasure. Turn her on make her wet but don't finger her till she climaxes. Stop it when she's about to burst. And lead her towards your tool and take control and direct her as to what you want her to do. After she shows compliance make her ***. Let her earn it.

 

[Muscobra449]

Messed up a LTR not sure if I can salvage it.

Posted in the wrong place.

 

[Huffman]

she "wants to be a prude tonight"

Reply: "Well that's bad because I don't like prudes." Not joking, but dead serious! Look the part, and you better mean it as well. "You better behave ok?" Resume sex.

Don't be afraid to break the mood by telling her off. She was already breaking it anyway. Who in their right mind would accept it when a girl openly says she wants to annoy you.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Im starting to think every damn thing is a sh*t test.

thats because i can assure you 99% of the time you will be having sh*t tests thrown at you left right and centre in all shapes and forms

anyway

the key to this is WHY dosent she feel like it ?

in my experiences once you get your head between a chicks legs then its a little late for her to be saying she "dosent feel like it"

 

[pyros]

Reply: "Well that's bad because I don't like prudes." Not joking, but dead serious! Look the part, and you better mean it as well. "You better behave ok?" Resume sex.

Don't be afraid to break the mood by telling her off. She was already breaking it anyway. Who in their right mind would accept it when a girl openly says she wants to annoy you.

wrong advise...

 

[bukowski_merit]

Do girls do this to try and gain leverage and power in a relationship? Trying to control me with sex?

Lol do girls use denial of sex to gain leverage in relationships? Yes, they also use sex to gain leverage in relationships. It is their biggest bargaining chip.

This is not really a conscious occurrence, it more or less happen naturally in most common relationships.

Did you mess up? Yes. Is the relationship over because of it? No, but I assure you that it will happen again. And hopefully you handle it with more moxie. This has happened to me before and I just don't really care and roll over and go to sleep. I understand you can't do that, it's always worked for me... those same girls would sometimes change their mind after a few minutes of me falling asleep or want to go at it in the morning. Sometimes... I deny them.

I highly advise you to give her some space.

Ps: who started the relationship talk?

 

[BraddH]

No games, no ****. Sex is natural. You want sex, she doesn't. Why? If it's a good reason it is ok. If it's not, next.

Simple as fvcking that?

What else do you fvcking have to know?