Girl I slept with told me that "Things were moving too fast" - DJs, help!

[Insouciant]

Hey guys --

I need some veteran opinion on this.

Me and this girl ended up making out the first night we really chilled at a party I met her at (mutual friends).

Afterwards, didn't really hang out with her aside from a quick lunch (we work in the same building). Recently, at another party we both ended at, we ended up making out... I ended up going back to her place that night. She gave me LMR, and I was too drunk to care and just passed out after telling her, "Of course, I wouldn't want to take anything from you that you're not ready to give yet".

We ended up smashing the next morning (I was still too hung over to orgasm); not the best in the world.

We hung out the next week following that (two dates the same week); first time I paid for the tab... because I didn't want her to feel like it was just sex. The next time, she paid for the tab. Made out both times afterwards. We were scheduled to hang out on Sunday to watch movies at her place and just veg in... but she ended up canceling on me (gave me a phone call instead of texting me). She offered that we meet up for drinks and dinner some other day during that call -- but I told her that I didn't want to just be a drinks and dinner kinda guy.

That's when she told me that she thought that we "were going too fast". Since we've already been physically intimate, I thought she was LJBF'ing me. Wanted you guys' input. I'm going to freeze her out in the meantime.

I'm 80% sure this is a LJBF move. 20% says it's her ASD at work.

Thoughts? Much appreciated, gents.

 

[crazyboy]

well yeah you are moving too fast i don't want to be a drinks and dinner guy. then what do you then because sound likes you want a relationship. physically intimate you had drunk sex lol. You guys are meeting too much and doing too much relationship type crap with a 2 week period. chill out give her some space give it about 2 weeks then be like you want to come over and watch a movie. You already smash so there no need to see her behind all the time keep her at 1 hangout minimum a week.

she pretty much telling you slow it down. she still dtf but your acting to pushy. and wtf hell is lmr

 

[Zunder]

Just a typical 'modern woman' from the West, on the kock-carousel giving you the run around.
What did you expect?

 

[mikey2012]

She had second thoughts . Move on. Don't waste time thinking about her.

 

[Slickster]

Sounds like you are pushing for a relationship too fast and if that is what you want you are going about it in completely the wrong way. Women want to chase a guy who is a challenge. It's "romantic" to them.

"I don't wanna be dinner and drinks guy" is basically you saying "I wanna be your boyfriend." Yuck!

Also the "I don't want to take something you're not ready to give" line is corny and cringe worthy.

It sounds like this girl is interested but you are sabotaging yourself by opening your mouth too much. Less is more.

You can still turn it around. Give her space and start dating other chicks. (As you should be doing anyway.) You have mutual friends so it will get around to her at some point. Be aloof and make her chase you.

A single guy seeking a relationship should have multiple chicks on the go and all of them wanting to tie him down. He should be living the life very resistant to give all that up. She should be the one bringing up exclusivity and you make her work for it.

 

[Insouciant]

Why I love going to these forums is that I'm able to see different perspectives that I otherwise would have never considered. Thanks for that, gents. Although now I'm probably more uncertain/confused than ever, it will at least allow me to look for the right info.

Now, I don't want to overcorrect on this situation and still get blown out (in the case that I still have a shot).

I was working out hard and heavy at the gym today, just totally focused on my work, when I saw her walking down the stairs briefly. We made eye contact, she nodded slightly and started to take off her earphones as if she wanted to talk. I was already moving away, so I shouted out a quick "Yo!", but didn't stop moving away back to my workout station. I guess I just didn't want to see/talk to her until a few days have passed for me to cool off.

Just some background info on me -- I'm normally a smooth cat (one of the first traits that girls peg onto me, that and "mysterious"), so this wouldn't be totally out of character.

Was that a negative/positive/neutral encounter? I can't imagine that it would hurt me too much.

 

[Tenacity]

Zunder

Just a typical 'modern woman' from the West, on the kock-carousel giving you the run around. What did you expect?

This sums it up. OP, you aren't the problem. You fvcked her, so that means you already bring to the table the minimum level of "attraction" you are supposed to bring. The problem is that we are in the WORSE market of women in history. They are illogical, lack consistency, lack critical thought, they like you one minute (svcking your dyck) and hate you the next minute (avoiding your calls).

This is the market man. We as men always like to do internal analysis to try and "get better" at something that has no hierarchy of intelligence. In a nutshell, it's like you are dealing with RETARDED people....lol, all you can do is keep meeting new retarded people everyday until you find one that's not as "retarded" as the others are....but keep in mind, she's STILL retarded.

Which is why I say, do NO legal relationships with retarded people. No marriage, no cohabitation, no children creation. You just enjoy the good time "while you have it at the very moment" with the retarded person and the MOMENT they start to show their retarded ways.....drop their a.ss back off where you found them.

 

[Donnie Darko]

Sounds like a decent time for Igetit!'s no contact/interest elevation/rekindeling method or some derivative of it. In other words play it cool.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1596861

 

[MatureDJ]

I've had this happen. With one, we hadn't even had sex yet, so I bailed on her. With the other one, we had had sex, and I tried to stick it out without sex, but once I figured out she was not going to give me her intimacy, I bailed on her too.

The bottom line is that I just lose all motivation with a woman if I'm not having sex, or at least on-track to getting it soon.