Girl I like constantly changes her mind about me.

[Evolvedchode]

Hey guys, I'd love to get some pointers on this one.
There's a girl I like quite a lot for about 6 months now. Got laid on my first night with her, but I started a strong "beta-move" (unconsciously, was being "myself"), asking her to come over a lot and giving her a lot of my attention. Gave her a present for christmas and shortly after that her interest decayed. We hung out like 16 days in a row at first and all of a sudden she hardly had time to see me once a week. She broke it up, but I moved on quick.
She called me up Because she heard I had been hanging out with another chick, I admitted that that was true and said we should hang out. Banged again, all of a sudden she had feelings. I started my chode move again and bam, interest dropped.

By now we're on the 4th go, 3rd time we started a relationship but she dumped me. Said she didn't have strong enough feelings. 2 weeks ago she said she really loved me, and now she's back to being distant again. I see a clear pattern, I mean she could be busy everytime, but I guess it's just my behaviour. I'm having trouble staying steady and focussing on my own life because I dig her really much, but when I don't Alpha up she basically puts me on a leash and only gives me attention when I beg for it. I don't want her to "break up" (no relationship, but you know, 6 months of fooling around) a 4th time. So my questions:
I believe I want this chick, but how can I consistently keep her attention? I mean I don't want her to back off after 2 months of getting a relationship. Im also at a bit of a low right now, she's at the point where she is clearly losing interest in me and so far I've only been able to get it back after she breaks us up and I decide to go "scr0w this, Im moving on and not giving a damn" mode. Can I turn this around without that happening? I'm not asking for facts, just thoughts.
I personally believe I can do this, I love challenges. But it's emotionally hard to see her change her mind so quickly.

 

[Dgwizdal]

How old are you?

 

[Evolvedchode]

I'm 22 years old.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Hey guys, I'd love to get some pointers on this one.
There's a girl I like quite a lot for about 6 months now. Got laid on my first night with her, but I started a strong "beta-move" (unconsciously, was being "myself"), asking her to come over a lot and giving her a lot of my attention. Gave her a present for christmas and shortly after that her interest decayed. We hung out like 16 days in a row at first and all of a sudden she hardly had time to see me once a week. She broke it up, but I moved on quick.
She called me up Because she heard I had been hanging out with another chick, I admitted that that was true and said we should hang out. Banged again, all of a sudden she had feelings. I started my chode move again and bam, interest dropped.

By now we're on the 4th go, 3rd time we started a relationship but she dumped me. Said she didn't have strong enough feelings. 2 weeks ago she said she really loved me, and now she's back to being distant again. I see a clear pattern, I mean she could be busy everytime, but I guess it's just my behaviour. I'm having trouble staying steady and focussing on my own life because I dig her really much, but when I don't Alpha up she basically puts me on a leash and only gives me attention when I beg for it. I don't want her to "break up" (no relationship, but you know, 6 months of fooling around) a 4th time. So my questions:
I believe I want this chick, but how can I consistently keep her attention? I mean I don't want her to back off after 2 months of getting a relationship. Im also at a bit of a low right now, she's at the point where she is clearly losing interest in me and so far I've only been able to get it back after she breaks us up and I decide to go "scr0w this, Im moving on and not giving a damn" mode. Can I turn this around without that happening? I'm not asking for facts, just thoughts.
I personally believe I can do this, I love challenges. But it's emotionally hard to see her change her mind so quickly.

You missed a part of the pattern. She heard you where spending a lot of time with another babe that you banged, and all of a sudden she was interested in again. You are cool as long as you have a life outside of her. She also wants her man to be in demand. Let her hear about a few babes and maybe you will be having space age sex!

 

[Evolvedchode]

Ye I like that I'm not out of the game yet, but the balance has just shifted. Seems like a good pointer, but that would be a lie. So do you:
Suggest I attempt to get some more babes interested in me or are you telling me to fake it? just trying to clarify

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Ye I like that I'm not out of the game yet, but the balance has just shifted. Seems like a good pointer, but that would be a lie. So do you:
Suggest I attempt to get some more babes interested in me or are you telling me to fake it? just trying to clarify

Play. You don't have to bang them all. Flirt, be overly friendly, maybe some slip ups here and there. It seems you cannot stop and go into puppy dog mode because she will slay you every time. It's good you pointed this pattern out, because my woman is the same way. When they feel you have no options they lose interest.

When they hear other girls are sniffing around and might have hit, they want to give you good sex and claim ownership.

 

[Evolvedchode]

Thanks man, I like the advice and putting this up here also allows me to better evaluate my own situation. However, the advice you're giving lies far outside my comfort zone. I mean let's say I "slip up", how do I tell her? I'd likely be in fear of losing her because of it.
I do get the total picture a bit better now though, I think if I play my cards correctly (or even better, just simply become an independent happy person) she'll be back on the leash within a few weeks. I just... Hate that I can't simply let go. It seems like the "pink cloud" she lives on just disappears every time I show any kind of vulnerability, and it very slowly rebuilds itself when I don't.
Is this something that's specifically gonna happen with this girl, or is every girl gonna be like this, even in a relationship? I guess I've got some self-improvement to do either way if I want a solid relationship.

 

[El Payaso]

If you are looking for pump and dump, she's your girl.

If you're looking for any meaningful relationship, she's not your girl.

Simple as that.

 

[Mike32ct]

If you are looking for pump and dump, she's your girl.

If you're looking for any meaningful relationship, she's not your girl.

Simple as that.

^This. She just wanted a fling, not a bf.

 

[Evolvedchode]

Allright, that sounds legit. I believe me being myself is not challenging enough to keep her interested when things get serious, or things getting serious is just not really her thing in the first place. I'm gonna stick to the advice. Get my feelings out of this as quickly as possible and accept that she really can't offer me what I want (well, maybe she can, temporarily at best). Wouldn't surprise me if that would end up in her asking me for a relationship at some point.
Anyways, thanks everyone for the replies. Got my gameplan set and I'm feeling good about it. As a seeker of knowledge about this I'm very curious to see how this will play out from here on

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Allright, that sounds legit. I believe me being myself is not challenging enough to keep her interested when things get serious, or things getting serious is just not really her thing in the first place. I'm gonna stick to the advice. Get my feelings out of this as quickly as possible and accept that she really can't offer me what I want (well, maybe she can, temporarily at best). Wouldn't surprise me if that would end up in her asking me for a relationship at some point.
Anyways, thanks everyone for the replies. Got my gameplan set and I'm feeling good about it. As a seeker of knowledge about this I'm very curious to see how this will play out from here on

Well you can keep it going for a very long time if you stay active outside of her, and she may be so enthralled with you that she may be mostly loyal too.

All of them are different creatures. It might be good for you to keep you from being too settled in your life.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Women are like, sometimes its not that they want you, they just want to keep you just in case. This happens when youre not their numero uno option and its for the better actually.

I bet that some mofo is keeping her hanging on, been there, been with a girl like that too, this is emotionally unavailable person dont believe the bits about her feeling its a fake, good manipulators can fake love. Dont be a dog on a leash and if you cant handle being with her with no feelings you better back off or get rekt son.

 

[Evolvedchode]

Ye I see this whole thing as a learning process for myself. Having some game knowledge is one thing, but experiencing all this first-hand helps me develop myself.
@Braindamage: She used to be in love with a guy for a very long time, she never got him. It might be that she is still hanging on to him yes. It sucks to accept these things as very viable truths, but I guess it really just is time to move on for me. Thanks a lot anyways.

What do you guys think about "fear of binding"? At a certain point I convinced myself that that was the problem. Every time we got close to something real she backed off, but every time we decide to let the relationship part slide, she's all up for it again even if I'm the one asking her to meet up again. I currently think it's a naïve thought, but I'm still unsure.

 

[BrainDamage92]

What do you guys think about "fear of binding"? At a certain point I convinced myself that that was the problem. Every time we got close to something real she backed off, but every time we decide to let the relationship part slide, she's all up for it again even if I'm the one asking her to meet up again. I currently think it's a naïve thought, but I'm still unsure.

This is not about that. Such thing as fear of binding wouldnt exist if she had cincere feelings for you. She doesn't want a relationship with you you see. She wants to be serviced and you're probably good in bed so she likes that. You're being used as a human vibrator basically. Its harsh I know that feel been there. But even if she wasn't so reserved and told you what's really on her mind that wouldn't change anything. I've pulled her fool's stunt too - walking out\dissapearing\breaking up on someone while love has not faded traps their heart and their thoughts. In reality she and her fool werent right for each other but he realised it abit better than her. Back off, the usual, cut contact, sleep with someone else etc... It sucks I know.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

If you can carve out your rules and interaction with this one, you can keep it going on indefinitely. As long as these types receive a bunch of external stiumation and a bit of drama they can keep going. It's almost like feeding them something they need. Structure your life so it's a non-stressful thing. You can still like this girl, just understand her psychology and don't try to change her.

You see you can't get settled around this one, and you see she gets excited when she feels you have orbiters and babes giving you the pu$$y. Just stay busy, focus on self and career, stay outside the permiters of her life and dip in like a hawk and give her a stiff pounding from time to time.

 

[Evolvedchode]

Thanks guys, think I have a good feeling of how it works.
However, I simply couldn't handle it at all. I couldn't handle being in between or treating her like a plate while being in this thing with her. I could man up, but I couldn't not give a damn while still seeing her. She also works at my place and I am forced to see her from time to time.
I ended up not really playing any game, I wanted a clear cut decision so I could try to go on. I said "it's a yes or no, I want no more Friends with benefits" and she obviously said no (but clearly not really wanting it to permanently end). I could've probably just said "Ok bye I'm done with this", but for some reason I told myself that giving her the option to be with me and then having her lose that as I walk out would work better. Doubt she's coming back, but somehow I figured my odds on getting her to care about me moving on would be better if I actually straight up showed her that she could've had me.
I truly hate this, but I have to move on. She seemed like she didn't even understand herself why she didn't just completely go for me. Guess I just didn't manage to give her the feelings that I should've given her. Bah. I'm also probably blaming myself too much for this. But because of all this "pick-up" related stuff out there I feel like it's simply my fault every time a girl doesn't get strong enough feelings.

 

[bigneil]

This happens when men are 22. By the time you are 44 you will have 3 22-year old women lined up, and women your age will lecture you about what a pervert you are. Remind them that you are the monster they created.