Girl hasn't really talked to me the two days after we were together

[lover4721]

Okay I want to keep this short, but I also want to include my thoughts on why she might be scared of getting close.

We knew each other for a few weeks, talking here and there. I kept distance between us, just so she could wonder "does he like me?"

Sometimes I wouldn't even reply to her messages, and she would just message me again three times in a row. She told me her feelings and said "here goes nothing... I like you, etc." and I never replied directly to it. She would say good morning to me every morning. She definitely liked me and definitely wanted to meet me.

She had a relationship for more than two years, and it got bad (I don't know why) so she ended it in May. She hasn't had anyone else until then. She complains she has no guy friends, and doesn't want a random hookup. Last week, some random guy gave her a hickey and she hated it, was disgusted by men. This was at a party.

We finally got to get together and I went to her college apartment and we were watching a movie until we started getting close and things went sexual lol. She was like really interested. Kept randomly kissing my cheek which was odd. Anyhow, she started another movie and we didn't even watch it. She picked that movie at first. A few hours later, she was tired so I left! I was getting off of her bed and she was like "You're trapped" and started kissing me. She did the same thing -- she would wrap her legs around me and say I'm trapped, I was like "Okay that's fine with me! It's pretty comfortable."

So yeah! I got my shoes on, and she came over to me wrapped her arms around me and started kissing me again!

Walked out and she said thanks for coming, kissed and left.
I didn't text her to let her know I was home. I didn't want to get home and text her right away. That's too dumb. I feel like I'm crowding her.

So she texted me that day I went home (3AM I went home) at around 2:40PM and said "Hi" -- as if she was mad at me, OR maybe confused on why I didn't text her and be like "Oh my gosh wanna be my girlfriend?!" I'm not sure why she only said "hi." But she said she was at the horse show, long day. I didn't reply. Then she said "I had a fun night with you." I said "Aw me too!" She said "I'm glad to hear "

But now she messaged me at midnight, and said she was rather intoxicated with her friends. Like it's weird how she would ONLY message me when she was drinking.

Does this seem like she is confused on what I want? I went sexual with her, kissed her, and now we don't talk? It's almost like she is avoiding me. Last week, she wanted to hangout Friday and Saturday. Now we only hung out Friday, and Saturday was when she went out. It is like she went out to get her mind off of things? Maybe she is afraid of even getting remotely close?

I got what I wanted lol it's weird. I wanted those 4 days alone after we hung out, to give her some time to miss me... I never told her this directly but it was in Harry Wilmington's podcasts.

I'm just taking her role now, and now I'm the one confused...

I totally had ALL confidence that I did this correctly lol I learned so much on here, sent so many articles to my email, read them a few times. I never crowded her. No obsession.

Another thing to remember, she is STILL on the website MeetMe always looking for new guys. She didn't put "Message me " in her status for a week, UNTIL we didn't hangout last weekend. Then she did it twice and I didn't look to see recently. Maybe she is putting statuses up like "Miss him" but I won't check because it's depressing if she is still looking for attention. So maybe she really seeks attention and that might be another clue.

So can anyone put their finger on her and maybe guide me? I'm going to meet other women but her and I had a pretty fun night and next I want to take her somewhere fun. I felt like I could really connect with her -- we are both the crazy outgoing kind.

My thoughts are she is wanting to take this further, but doesn't know my thoughts so she is just avoiding me. I did the same she is doing, with another girl I met. I didn't talk to her for two days and then I told her my feelings, and lost her. I think this is what she is doing... and that's why she said "Hi".

 

[DJ Bax]

The dude that gave her the hickey banged her, she's a ho. She wanted you to bang her when she wrapped her legs around you and said you were trapped.

 

[lover4721]

The dude that gave her the hickey banged her, she's a ho. She wanted you to bang her when she wrapped her legs around you and said you were trapped.

Haha nah, I guess he was following her at the party and came behind her. She seemed to give a good excuse (her roommates screaming look at her hickey!) so I believed it. It seemed true but she could be a ho! BUT, I told her this myself, it takes a long time to give someone a hickey. She said "He came behind me and wrapped his arms around me so I couldn't move." I was like, "You just don't let some random stranger give you a hickey! That doesn't sound to legal or even believable!" It was a while ago so it's gone and she washed her neck ten times lol.


OH, and, she said she was horny like Sunday or such. All of her roommates got off of their periods and she did too. I'm thinking they said something, so she wanted to be cool and act all horny. They had their boy toys come over, she didn't.

She could be a ho! lol it just doesn't seem like it though. She never talked or acted sexual until it kinda progressed into it.

 

[lover4721]

Another really really good point I should make -- she wants to meet a guy that she 'loves' and wants to settle down. She made this clear a lot of times. She wants to meet new people, yes, but she doesn't want to date people. She wants to find 'the one' and then settle down.

She also wants guy friends. If I was a friend to her, don't you think she would message me? She has roommates that have guy friends and she complains she doesn't.

So I think she is trying to avoid me because she doesn't know how I feel and doesn't want to tell me so she is waiting for me to tell her? That is kinda the energy I'm getting from this lame ass situation.

 

[betheman]

The dude that gave her the hickey banged her, she's a ho. She wanted you to bang her when she wrapped her legs around you and said you were trapped.

^^^^ hes right

 

[lover4721]

^^^^ hes right

How do you know? Can you confirm that with 100% certainty that he is right?

"The way you think it is may not be the way it is at all."

She said he wasn't attractive, texted me to come and get her. It felt 100% believable.

Another thing, when we talked, she thought she was bothering me and I didn't want to even talk to her - but I told her I did want to talk to her, I am interested in meeting - and then things changed.

Aside from the hickey, drop her or still pursue interest?

 

[DJ Bax]

She uses meetme (which is just a childlike version of pof) and talks about her roomates periods, she's a super ho man.

 

[betheman]

she wanted you to fvck her, you didnt/havent, she wants to be banged, she got a hickey??? hated it? get real, no woman wants that mark on her neck unless she gets banged good.

 

[JoeMarron]

Perhaps you're playing the game a little too hard so she's pulling back because she thinks you aren't interested. Yes the woman is suppose to be putting in more effort than you but you have to put something in too unless all you want is a fk buddy.

My thoughts are she is wanting to take this further, but doesn't know my thoughts so she is just avoiding me. I did the same she is doing, with another girl I met. I didn't talk to her for two days and then I told her my feelings, and lost her. I think this is what she is doing... and that's why she said "Hi".

This is going from one extreme to another. Don't spill your emotions all over this chick but if you like her and want to progress to something more then put some more effort into it. It looks like she's initiating all of the meetups. Hit her up every now and then and set up something yourself. Disclaimer: Don't under any circumstances tell her you want more/wanna be her girlfriend etc. Keep fvcking her, show some initiative and if she likes you enough she'll bring it up herself and it'll be up to you if you want a relationship or not.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

OP you are over thinking this whole situation and sounds like ONEitis, spin plates. Obsessing over 1 broad, you say you are not but then see if her MeetMe is still up?!? I don't know if this is HS or are you guys are young 20's?

She would wrap her legs around me and say I'm trapped!

HELLO GREEN FLAG SHE WANTED THE D!!

 

[lover4721]

I can't see her being a ho lol. She wants to settle down and doesn't have much guy friends. IF she was someone who wanted a fvck buddy, she wouldn't complain about not having guys. She would have 100 guy friends, just for fvcking.
Maybe she is a whre but for now, it doesn't seem like it and I don't want to change my feelings toward her but believing. :/ We will see if you guys are right! All of the guys in my previous thread told me to run away from her, I didn't and I got hurt. So maybe you're right, but she isn't a ten which makes me to believe she isn't putting herself out there. She says the same thing. She doesn't want to put herself out there.

Perhaps you're playing the game a little too hard so she's pulling back because she thinks you aren't interested. Yes the woman is suppose to be putting in more effort than you but you have to put something in too unless all you want is a fk buddy.



This is going from one extreme to another. Don't spill your emotions all over this chick but if you like her and want to progress to something more then put some more effort into it. It looks like she's initiating all of the meetups. Hit her up every now and then and set up something yourself. Disclaimer: Don't under any circumstances tell her you want more/wanna be her girlfriend etc. Keep fvcking her, show some initiative and if she likes you enough she'll bring it up herself and it'll be up to you if you want a relationship or not.

Okay thank you! She messaged me earlier and I did reply, but haven't replied back to her newer message.

I just don't want to seem needy and take things too far, like meeting her and now wanting to be with her. I don't want to crowd her. I want her mind to be on me like it's been. She has wanted to meet me for a while now. Ever since we met, it doesn't seem like that anymore. But all she says is "Hey" to me. So I think she is wondering how I feel and trying not to get too close because she might think I'm not interested.

But I am going to set plans up with her! For weeks, not showing too much interest really had her showing interest. But then again, she thought I didn't like her and I said I did, and then things got better. So maybe she is waiting for me to show interest in her (after meeting) and then she will give love back.

She mentioned it she didn't want to waste my time, last week, and she doesn't/never wants to put herself out there. So maybe I'm dumb for playing this game too hard. I think I got my behavior right on the target for this kind of stuff. I feel different and much more confident too.

 

[Greasy Pig]

You're seriously over-gaming her!
If you want things to progress with her, just be a bit more positive.
You can only keep a woman guessing for so long before she ditches your arse.
If you like her, you don't need to tell her. Just organise a date and be the cool, funny charming man she thinks you are.
You've got her interest levels sky high, now you need to advance things and wind the "I'm a mystery man and I don't give a fvck" routine back a notch or two.

 

[lover4721]

You're seriously over-gaming her!
If you want things to progress with her, just be a bit more positive.
You can only keep a woman guessing for so long before she ditches your arse.
If you like her, you don't need to tell her. Just organise a date and be the cool, funny charming man she thinks you are.
You've got her interest levels sky high, now you need to advance things and wind the "I'm a mystery man and I don't give a fvck" routine back a notch or two.

I do understand that I am!

She even said it last week that she feels she is making the effort, and it's getting thrown in her face.

I am scared of putting in that effort and having her not feel the same way, OR having her interest in some other guy. I'm scared of getting screwed over basically. I am not that scared, and I definitely have a thicker skin now -- but it remains on my mind. I don't want to put all of my effort into her and then she has her mind in someone else. I am raised with 2 girls, younger than me, and a mother and father. However, I'm not close to my father because he cannot communicate. He is hard of hearing, and deaf - so he reads lips and it's hard for me to talk to him. So I'm around all girls...and you know what they say, women don't know what they are attracted to. They say niceness helps, but in reality, niceness throws women away. So I've been told to go after her if I like her, but if I chase her, she is just running way... that's common sense. If you chase someone, they are going to be scared and run away. So now I don't want to even put any effort into it because last time with last girl, I did just that, and now we don't talk! So I am here waiting for her to give me a signal basically to put in the effort.

So she messaged me, and I was going to message her and I saw the 2:34 time. It's a weird number, but everytime I think of messaging her, I see it. I saw it when looking at the highway mileage... 23.4 miles. It's weird.

Anyhow, she messaged me just a few minutes ago. I want to ask her out on Friday. Should I do it now, OR just talk to her and ask her Wednesday?

Keep in mind, she thinks her effort is being thrown away because she wanted to hangout last week and I was busy. So in reality, I definitely agree with everyone else. I'm playing this game a bit too hard and I think she is discouraged, and right now, I know that I'm very bound to losing her.

I want to ask her to go out on Friday...but I haven't initiated it yet, so would I come on too strong when asking her to go out? I am in the middle of "okay it will work, she wants me to ask" and "she might think I'm coming on too strong, but then again, she might say I'm not interested and it's a waste of time."

What do I do now?

 

[lover4721]

It just sucks not knowing how she is feeling... if it is a waste of my time or hers.

But I am going to ask her out for this Friday!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey guy! I read your post and saw that you listened to my podcast - thanks, maaaaan!

Anyway, I responded to your post by doing a podcast about your issue - check it out by clicking HERE! For now, though, keep us posted about your progress with this girl - hope the podcast helps you get out of your head a bit!

 

[lover4721]

Hey guy! I read your post and saw that you listened to my podcast - thanks, maaaaan!

Anyway, I responded to your post by doing a podcast about your issue - check it out by clicking HERE! For now, though, keep us posted about your progress with this girl - hope the podcast helps you get out of your head a bit!

It is really weird hearing you read my post out loud lol. I think it is the same affect as hearing your own voice. It's kind of weird. I am listening right now.

Thanks for your reply!

The Saturday night out issue wasn't me being jealous she was out... I didn't mind at all! But I was over-analyzing why she ONLY messaged me when she was drunk, and didn't message me throughout the day. Then I thought, maybe she REALLY wants to know my feelings and doesn't want to message me -- so when she is drunk, all of her thoughts are gone. I am very intelligent and this leads me to over-think every possible thought that I encounter.

And I know she can go out with anyone she wants, we are just friends, but I don't want to be sleeping with someone who is going out and sleeping with other guys. I am the guy that wants to have a clean woman, not someone that is around 100 guys. So the message me status, started when I was busy -- so this made me think that she didn't want to put all of her eggs in one basket, and wanted more guys. It confirmed my thoughts.

But I definitely see what you are talking about. You basically rewired my thoughts about her, which is good.

Thanks!

 

[lover4721]

So I texted her back and I said if she get's an A on her exam, we can do something Friday or Saturday! She finally put life into her messages! She said she can't wait etc.

I asked her when her horse show was and she said Saturday so I asked if we can make plans for Saturday, and she said yes, "but it's not a good idea for you to stay until like 3AM again because I had like no sleep and I was a hot mess all day haha."

I am sure she means that, but it still seems kinda playful. Anyhow, what it really seems like is that she is trying to say "No I don't want you here."

I never said I was going to her place to hangout either... but she kinda just said "for you stay until 3AM" -- so it seems contradicting -- she wants me to come over, but then she is basically saying no -- it's odd. We watched like 10 minutes of a movie until she started cuddling next to me and not even watching the movie.


So it's kinda like she is saying "Come to watch a quick movie and go home!" The 3AM reason was we were getting playful and sexual around 12 and it just went into 3 and ended lol. I don't know! She accepted the date.

So what do I do from here? Just go and watch a lame movie, and if things get sexual, just go full force and then get out of there?
Maybe she is hinting she only needed an hour date.

 

[JoeMarron]

Dude...chill the fvck out. Lets make this incredibly simple. As long as she's putting more effort in than you you're good. If she accepts your date and lets you escalate on her then she's interested. Her words are utterly irrelevant. This is all you need to be thinking about.

 

[lover4721]

Dude...chill the fvck out. Lets make this incredibly simple. As long as she's putting more effort in than you you're good. If she accepts your date and lets you escalate on her then she's interested. Her words are utterly irrelevant. This is all you need to be thinking about.

Okay, that is simple lol.

Thanks.
I forgot their words don't mean anything, it's their action.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Heck, let's make it even simpler:

"...but it's not a good idea for you to stay until like 3AM again because I had like no sleep and I was a hot mess all day haha"

translation:

"Yeah, so you waited forever to make your move the last time, and I got things to do the next day. So, if you could make those moves happen a little bit earlier in the evening I'd greatly appreciate it."

Like I said in the podcast, STOP OVER-THINKING AND ASSUMING THE NEGATIVE ALL THE TIME. Until you go to kiss her/do something physical with her and she actually pushes you away or says "no," assume that if she's having you in her place, she WANTS you to make a move. Good luck!