Girl gone weird on 3 month Relationship!

[drak_ool]

So anyway shes going out with friends last night to some theatre and she says she wants to go home for the night instead of coming back to mine as we originally planned, she says she'll call me when she gets back and she loves me etc etc, she txts me at 11pm with "im just gonna go to bed when i get home as really tired but i'll see you tmrw love you." Then i txt her asking if she still wants to go to london with me at new year and she txts back with "yeah deffo babes missing u 2 if i dont text back its cos ive fallen asleep lol. Love you so much baby xxx" She then txts me this morning to say she cant come in the morning as shes meeting her friend for abit but will see me around 5pm.

am I reading too much into this if I say your girl went out with her friends, taking every measure she could to put herself in a position where she will be able to hook up with another guy (letting you know that she will not be come back to see you that night); and in fact she did spend the night and the next morning with another guy, hence she did not meet you in the morning.

props to you though, for recovering your wits and putting some distance between yourself and this chick. She s clearly manipulative, insecure, shifty, untruthfull, etc. Like you said, you can do much better. In my experience it s almost impossible to have a serious relationship with a 16-20 y.o. girl, as they are at a stage of their lives when they have way too many issues to deal with.

 

[Dante420]

Hey,

I met a chick around 3 months ago and she has been the first girl in about 3 years i've properly fallen for, we spend alot of time together about 5 days a week, we tell each other we love each other and she has been there for me when i seriously ****ed my ankle up to the point of even doing my shopping for me. I feel over the last month or so I have let down my guard and switched off alot of the "game" i used to get her at first. The sex up until recently was great and she always seemed turned on and i just figured she had a high sex drive? Anyway we have been great together but some things have popped up recently and im not sure whats happening:-

She smokes a ton of weed
I don't particularly care that she smokes it as alot of people do and i dont think its physically any harm? But the affect it has on her mood is really bad...she will smoke it and be ok for the first couple hours but then she will hardly talk at all and go into a quiet depressive mode where she doesnt feel intimate at all and looks pissed off.

In last 48 hours she changed
My grandfather died last week so i was pretty down and not my usual funny self, on the day of his funeral i met her at night with a few of her friends....at first she seemed normal but pretty much spent most of the night smoking...at the end of the night she was all quiet, we argued abit and she came back to mine and stayed....she would not have sex with me on this night or the morning after as she said she wasn't in the mood and sex at the moment makes her feel "vunerable" what the hell does that mean? Anyway we have a talk and she tells me that she feels like we are spending too much time together and she wants to see her friends more and we shouldnt lose our identities etc....I suggest we only see each other 2x a week and she flips and says you only want to see me 2x a week? so we agree on 4x.

So anyway shes going out with friends last night to some theatre and she says she wants to go home for the night instead of coming back to mine as we originally planned, she says she'll call me when she gets back and she loves me etc etc, she txts me at 11pm with "im just gonna go to bed when i get home as really tired but i'll see you tmrw love you." Then i txt her asking if she still wants to go to london with me at new year and she txts back with "yeah deffo babes missing u 2 if i dont text back its cos ive fallen asleep lol. Love you so much baby xxx" She then txts me this morning to say she cant come in the morning as shes meeting her friend for abit but will see me around 5pm.

Basically these mixed signals are driving me crazy....can someone tell me whats going on here? and what my course of action should be, 48 hours ago she was fine!

If she smokes mids (aka buds of not good quality)

Ask her how much she spends on an eighth.

If she doesn't say anything below $35 she's getting ripped off but that's besides the point -

You could give her an extra $15, and tell her to buy a better quality eighth this time.


Otherwise whens he starts acting all burnt out like that, just get ready to be on your way for the day and make plans for another time.

 

[tafakna]

DannyM,

She threw the 'engagement bait' and you bit it right away... Everytime a girl tries to fish for feedback, DON'T give a clear answer, keep her guessing.

Any updates on this?

BTW, like Feynman used to say "Don't fool yourself and remember that you're the easiest person to fool".

You got to be more independent and self assured. I lost my father 5 months ago, my brother married and moved away to another city. It has been a very S***TY time for me, but I haven't become more needy nor more clingy with my girlfriend.

Remember that YOU are the man. Girls look for emotional stability. They need to know that you'll be there for them, and even in the crappiest time you'll know what to do and how to act.

 

[jophil28]

Thanks again guys. When i met the girl 3 months ago on a night out she slept with me on that night....She later told me she had a boyfriend at the time and she basically dumped him for me...I guess I should of known what she was like from that.
...surely I can do better than this??

Women of all ages will always offer a lot of vital informatiomn about themselves IF you listen and ask a few questions about their history.

IF she is the kind to branch swing across to you on the first night, then you wpould be wise to realize that she is 'available' to any guy who pushes the right buttons. That would disqualify her from g/f consideration....

 

[DannyM]

Well things have been going ok, shes mentioned engagement prob 2x more snce i last typed but theres now ay im getting engaged to her atleast not yet. Saw her 4x last week which is still prob too much i think as today she has really really annoyed me!

She told me a while ago she had slept with 17 guys and yeah shes 17 lol, anyway one time she had a threesome with 2 of the local rugby players but I didn't particularly care as its in past. Anyway today I go to the gym and she comes aswell as we are going to her parents after, anyway I get to the gym do my workout and meet her at the end.....when i come back she has a smile on her face....i ask herw hats up and she says "you know those 2 rugby guys i had a threesome with? I just saw them" im like.....err OK and she then says "I felt like going up to say hi to them....they are really funny you would like them." She then had a smile on her face for the next 10 mins which was obvious she was thinking about them, So i just kinda lost it by bringing her up on it and then we argued and she said im too possesive and we needed a nights space....even though i wasn't staying at hers tonight lol.

I realise my behaviour may of been somewhat AFC but surely for a relationship that is nearly four months I must have some right to bring her up on behaviour like that? I tried to ignore it but I just couldn't . Oh well not sure what to do now, she'll be fine tmrw but maybe i should take two steps back what do you think?

 

[jophil28]

She told me a while ago she had slept with 17 guys and yeah shes 17 lol, anyway one time she had a threesome with 2 of the local rugby players but I didn't particularly care as its in past.

I didn't need to read much past this..

I am going to give some ole fashioned advice as if I were your own dad," Son,this little lady is a slvt. Don't bring her around here for dinner."

 

[tafakna]

Bottom Line here is: she's 17... shes has a decade of good and bad experiences, sexual adventures, heartbreaks, and growing up to do before she's on the same page as you.

A relationship between you 2, with all her youth and imaturity, wouldn't be fair to you and wouldn't be fair to her.

I realize this advice will probably not be followed, after all it's a hard thing to do, but take care of yourself...

Good luck...

 

[909pua]

She smokes a ton of weed
I don't particularly care that she smokes it as alot of people do and i dont think its physically any harm? But the affect it has on her mood is really bad...she will smoke it and be ok for the first couple hours but then she will hardly talk at all and go into a quiet depressive mode where she doesnt feel intimate at all and looks pissed off.

Hey man, you are not the only one dealing with this kind of girl. I have a girl for 6 months who does weed too. I used to smoke weed so I know what its like. When I used to smoke it, I used to think negatively of myself as having lower value than other people and also think of the most negative things about myself, as well as thinking the worst in every situation basically this thing got me so self concious that I thought of myself as not on the same level as other happy people, that I'm not good looking, hence giving me low self esteem. Well I came to realize that my girl acts up because of this, I know for a fact she thinks of the worst things about me, she thinks im just using her for sex, she thinks im going around sleeping around with people, and as a result of her thinking like this, she flakes on me and does things that every girl would do. In my situation, the best antidote for a girl like this is to do no contact for how long it takes. Show her you don't care what she does, basically show indifference. Trust me they come back to you because you are demonstrating to them they you are not the average guy that keeps calling them and showing them attention. So you end up standing out out of the pact.

But don't put up with her sh@#, girls are hard to understand and instead of thinking about them and overanalyzing their every actions, in the end its not even worth it. The best thing to do while they are acting up is to go find other women. It works for me.