Girl gone very hot to very cold

[S6ian]

Met this girl a month ago through a friends Instagram and we hit it off, loads in common, been speaking for a month or two and we’ve met 3 times. She’s super busy as a medical student and sometimes works during the night.

Last time we met we ended up at her place afterwards and she wanted to do everything except sex and told me it takes her time to do that with people she’s dating.

she’s now busy again with medical school and we’ve not met in a week, and next week she is away for her best friends birthday celebrations in a different city, and she mentioned to me that when she’s back, she is going to be “laying low” while she focuses on her exams.

so yeah, she’s basically gone cold on me and done a180 and is avoiding meeting up or making time for me all of a sudden. Whats weird is that last week she casually asked me if I was seeing other girls and I told her it was complicated, and she mentioned that she doesn’t do multiple dating, so I don’t think there’s another guy in the picture.

I really like this girl due to our similar interests. Any tips on how to recover this and try and get her initial attraction to me back?
should I post some pics on Snapchat with my girl friends while she is away or will that just piss her off?
Thinking NC but don’t really know what to do, trying to text less but feel like that’ll make her forget even more.

 

[powersize]

Met this girl a month ago through a friends Instagram and we hit it off, loads in common, been speaking for a month or two and we’ve met 3 times. She’s super busy as a medical student and sometimes works during the night.

Last time we met we ended up at her place afterwards and she wanted to do everything except sex and told me it takes her time to do that with people she’s dating.

she’s now busy again with medical school and we’ve not met in a week, and next week she is away for her best friends birthday celebrations in a different city, and she mentioned to me that when she’s back, she is going to be “laying low” while she focuses on her exams.

so yeah, she’s basically gone cold on me and done a180 and is avoiding meeting up or making time for me all of a sudden. Whats weird is that last week she casually asked me if I was seeing other girls and I told her it was complicated, and she mentioned that she doesn’t do multiple dating, so I don’t think there’s another guy in the picture.

I really like this girl due to our similar interests. Any tips on how to recover this and try and get her initial attraction to me back?
should I post some pics on Snapchat with my girl friends while she is away or will that just piss her off?
Thinking NC but don’t really know what to do, trying to text less but feel like that’ll make her forget even more.

I am pretty much at the same situation now with a chick I asked out a couple of times while she flaked but kept sending me some bs over the phone.

Do not post any bs in social media waiting that she will see your stuff cause you act needy and feminine.

The best you can do is completely disappear from her life and focus on your stuff. If she has any interest in you - she will reach you out. If it happened you play it cool and do not act as you used before. Now she has to work to gain your interest back. If she won’t reach you out - fuk it, she lost that fking best man she will ever get.

You have to respect and love yourself to the extent that if the chick is playing hard to get - you say fuk it and move on.

I know it is easy to say and it requires a lot of discipline but you will never have that abundance mentality if you tolerate such bs from girls.

 

[manfrombelow]

OP, you need to learn this lesson from today:

When a woman creates an environment where there are only you and her, she's 90% DTF (down to fvck). Your job is to finish the remained 10% aka making sex happen. Because she wouldn't want to look like a slvt by having to do all the work, would she?

She let you come into her private room (or whatever), that's all she could do. Her job ended there. Your job is to fvck her good. Yes she would put up the ASD (Anti-Slut-Defense), but your job is to get through it too - to eventually fvck her. Because THAT'S exactly what she wants.

So the fact that you - for whatever reasons - failed to fvck her when there were only the two of you together caused her to get "cold" to you, because you appeared as weak, beta, and unmanly. Now I'm not saying she had a checklist in her head which she crossed one by one about what she wanted to you do to her, but rather, all of these happened on a subsconsicous level, which means she didn't know why she got cold with you just because she was the one who "acted" like she didn't want you to fvck her, she just did.

 

[manfrombelow]

Oh by the way, you made some fatal mistakes prior to the point she mentally gave the fvck up on you:

1/ You said you and her had "loads in common" and "been speaking for a month or two"? Man, you want to be her lover, not her phone-buddy. Next time don't chit chat with a woman, ever. You either ask her out, or you move the fvck on to other women.

2/ So you met 03 (three) times without sex? Oh man, from my own experiences, three real dates without sex always decrease the girl's Interest Level (if there was any) in you by at least 80%.

3/ No girl is ever too "busy" to meet you. Being "busy" is the oldest excuse people from both genders make to not give the other person whom they find UNATTRACTIVE their time. If this girl liked you, she would drop a class to svck your dvck in a dirty alley next to a trash can. But because she lost interest in you, she would pulled the "I'm busy" card as an excuse not to have to see you even if she's lying naked on her bed with absolutely nothing to do.

So the moment a girl tells you she's too busy to meet (without proposing an alternative date), you know it's just her polite way to say "I'm not interested in you and I don't want to have anything to do with you again", and you need to bolt. Right then and there.

Remember: The ultimate goal of dates is to make sex happen. You don't casually go out with a girl, pay for her food, hold her hands, speak BS to her ears and pretend to be a gentleman for nothing. No, you ultimately must want SEX. Because, whether you like it or not, the sooner sex happens, the better she likes you and wants to keep seeing you.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Always mirror

Contrary to popular belief no girl ever really wants to find herself holding all the aces …because at that point she knows the attraction is dead which i suspect is what has happened in this scenario

Once you get experienced enough you can usually feel the balance of power ( or interest) between you and her

You must learn to keep that balance always slightly tilted in your favour and you do that by being emotionally detached , depending on how attractive she is and how many orbiters she has this can be a skill that takes many many years to master with a lot of c0ck up's along the way

 

[BMX]

So she love bombed you without having sex? She needs to kick rocks and buy herself some cats to "lay low" with (for the rest of her nerd life).

 

[Black Widow Void]

While there's some decent advice above, do not believe for one second that "no" always means "yes."

If a gal invites you back to her place, then yeah, there's a good chance that you might get some action.. .but that doesn't mean that it's always a guaranteed "home run."

If you are making out, always move your hands gradually to the "fun areas"(don't start at the home base). Gradually because this gives her an opportunity to decide if it's a go or a no. Just because it's a no, doesn't mean that you shouldn't try again at some more later heated moment, but again, it can still be a "no."

In other words, don't arrive with the mindset of "she invited me to her place and so, she wants it." She may very well want it, but she may also want to see how you orchestrate things (and even then, may not offer up many if any bases). In other words, the way you handle the foreplay will provide a better chance, but there's never (despite what you're reading above) an absolute guarantee.

 

[Young OG]

Met this girl a month ago through a friends Instagram and we hit it off, loads in common, been speaking for a month or two and we’ve met 3 times. She’s super busy as a medical student and sometimes works during the night.

Last time we met we ended up at her place afterwards and she wanted to do everything except sex and told me it takes her time to do that with people she’s dating.

she’s now busy again with medical school and we’ve not met in a week, and next week she is away for her best friends birthday celebrations in a different city, and she mentioned to me that when she’s back, she is going to be “laying low” while she focuses on her exams.

so yeah, she’s basically gone cold on me and done a180 and is avoiding meeting up or making time for me all of a sudden. Whats weird is that last week she casually asked me if I was seeing other girls and I told her it was complicated, and she mentioned that she doesn’t do multiple dating, so I don’t think there’s another guy in the picture.

I really like this girl due to our similar interests. Any tips on how to recover this and try and get her initial attraction to me back?
should I post some pics on Snapchat with my girl friends while she is away or will that just piss her off?
Thinking NC but don’t really know what to do, trying to text less but feel like that’ll make her forget even more.

Don't contact her again. You already wasted a month or two on this woman and you didn't get laid. You should have tried to sleep with her that one night. What women say and do are usually two totally different things. I've had so many women say "no sex" and then I was inside them the same night. If a woman wants to see you, she will move mountains to see you. There is no such things as too busy. I'm sure if it was Channing Tatum, then she would find free time. She sees you as low value and is no longer interested. Move on.

 

[Marc_zeus]

When a woman creates an environment where there are only you and her, she's 90% DTF (down to fvck). Your job is to finish the remained 10% aka making sex happen. Because she wouldn't want to look like a slvt by having to do all the work, would she?

This!!! Read it everyday until it sinks in.
Even if you didn't have sex with her ( her ASD prevailed ) you must try. It's your job as a man. She will often times forgive you for trying ( even if she for some reason realy doesen't want for sex to happen ) but she will NEVER forgive you if you haven't even tried.

 

[Glassguy]

Yet another thread/example of a woman going cold because the man wasnt acting like a man and sexually escalating.

Welcome to her friend zone OP. Enjoy your stay.

 

[IKO69]

From my personal experience, when it gets to the point where they've changed and all of a sudden start playing games, are hard to get hold of, unreliable etc. it's best to just leave them alone. I know, maybe you smashed at one time, maybe she was a good friend and you had something, all that stuff doesn't matter. Something obviously triggered her and your all your appeals, no matter how sincere, fall on deaf ears.

I and many others have been there and have exerted ourselves, put in effort to try to "convince" the person. When it gets to the stage as described most of the time nothing changes (and that is the best case scenario). At worst, it just ends up aggravating her further, and this is usually the case. The best thing to do is just learn from the experience and leave the person alone. Save yourself the time and stress. If there was ever anything there she may reach out at some point, which then gives you some wiggle room and you can possibly maneuver things, but when the situation is they are actively being difficult - leave them alone.

The good news: You'll learn from this so don't take it too hard. This can be a GOOD thing if you allow it to be and see it for what it is - a lesson. It's better to go through this now rather than later.

 

[derby1]

This isnt black or white guys, An Attention wh*re will put herself alone with you, she will then proceed to know all the body positions to make it unenjoyable to escalate , whilst she absorbs that non sexual attention..

Also in my opinion when a woman behaves precious, its really because shes recently took another mans load in her, and doesnt want to rationalize in her mind she is for the streets

 

[AttackFormation]

I agree with Black Widow and Derby who say that this isnt black or white. The other advice is not wrong in itself, but the problem is that you can never actually confirm what is going on inside a woman's mind. Because of that, you dont know whether she wanted you to fvck her and got cold because you didnt escalate, or if she was just attention wh0ring you, or if she got a text from her ex or a higher value guy and decided to fvck him instead, or if she got a last minute regret and decided to not have sex regardless of escalation, or her hormones shifted and dried up her pvssy, or she got into a different mental mood and just wasnt interested anymore, or her friends told her to not fvck you, or, or, or......

And some guys might rightly say that if you were a hot celebrity, she'd look past these reasons and make sure to fvck you anyway. That's right and is essentially a tautology ("if she wanted to fvck you then she wouldve fvcked you"), but because you arent a hot celebrity, you enter the middle ground of interest where whatever reason it was has to be respected. The point is, dont treat everything in life as if you have 100% control over it and beat yourself up with paranoia and micromanagement, just because you didnt get the outcome you wanted.

In the end what you can take away are general guidelines:

- Move on, dont obsess over her or any new texts she sends.
- Women who want you typically help you and make it easy for you, not confusing and difficult, you will know the difference when you experience it.
- Go by what women do and respond to and your educated gut feeling with them, and absolutely NOT by the words women "say" at face value about how they behave or what they like and want.

 

[manfrombelow]

This!!! Read it everyday until it sinks in.
Even if you didn't have sex with her ( her ASD prevailed ) you must try. It's your job as a man. She will often times forgive you for trying ( even if she for some reason realy doesen't want for sex to happen ) but she will NEVER forgive you if you haven't even tried.

Like a wise man once said:

"It's better to do something anyway and apologize (if needed) for it later, rather than asking for permission to do it."

 

[Toddz]

Do nothing, it's not you.

She's in Med School, so that's her priority. I work in medicine and med students/residents commonly put in 80 hour weeks. The next 8-10 years of her life she's not going to have any free time.

 

[2Rocky]

yes to the above^

BUUUUUTTTTT.......

She's making time for her best friend. If she is hot to trot she will make time for you...

Could be you didn't make the cut and you need to be ok with that. But put the ball in her court so she doesn't think you aren't interested.

Ping her with "Hit me up when you need a study break..."

 

[BMX]

^^^
Someone else is going to lay pipe eventually. Even when she goes through some 80 hour weeks. Best believe it.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Met this girl a month ago through a friends Instagram and we hit it off, loads in common, been speaking for a month or two and we’ve met 3 times. She’s super busy as a medical student and sometimes works during the night.

Last time we met we ended up at her place afterwards and she wanted to do everything except sex and told me it takes her time to do that with people she’s dating.

she’s now busy again with medical school and we’ve not met in a week, and next week she is away for her best friends birthday celebrations in a different city, and she mentioned to me that when she’s back, she is going to be “laying low” while she focuses on her exams.

so yeah, she’s basically gone cold on me and done a180 and is avoiding meeting up or making time for me all of a sudden. Whats weird is that last week she casually asked me if I was seeing other girls and I told her it was complicated, and she mentioned that she doesn’t do multiple dating, so I don’t think there’s another guy in the picture.

I really like this girl due to our similar interests. Any tips on how to recover this and try and get her initial attraction to me back?
should I post some pics on Snapchat with my girl friends while she is away or will that just piss her off?
Thinking NC but don’t really know what to do, trying to text less but feel like that’ll make her forget even more.

Next her.

Hotter girls are turning 18 19 20 21 everyday. #next no free attention. I lead. She follows or next!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Yet another thread/example of a woman going cold because the man wasnt acting like a man and sexually escalating.

Welcome to her friend zone OP. Enjoy your stay.

It puts into perspective our competition.