Girl getting pissed every time I bring up one of her flaws

[jbbrain]

Re: Re: Girl getting pissed every time I bring up one of her flaws

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
The problem just like J* (another head up in canada, must be the climate) is with YOU! You come from a place of ego. It's ok to be superior, but it sounds like your over doing it. There is a phrase that goes you can catch more fly's with honey than vinegar.

If your trying to motivate her to do something then try the sweeter approach. Nagging like a bytch will not work.

Also you choose this person as your girl. You knew what she was about so live with it. Too me it sounds like the ****y and funny stuff is backfiring also on you.

Obviously this girl isn't a brain child and something to write home about so decide what you really want here:

1. a girlfriend who has potential, in which case you need to move on
2. or someone whom you can use like j* did to make your weak ego feel superior, in which case then your on the right track

Say my name, say my name!




Ahem.All this coming from the BIGGEST and MOST fragile EGO on the forum. But all's good. I'm not here to remind him of his absurdities and contradictions.

The issue at hand: Disregard his wack advice about how u knew about her strengths/weaknesses when u got involved with her and that you should just live with it (acceptance) or simply dump her.

Life with emotion isn't always so cut and dry. You really like this girl. You've discerned that she's worth hanging on to: Two great things.

Now, there are a few things about her you would like to improve. No harm there. Don't sell yourself short. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Where he is RIGHT is his assumption that it's very hard to get someone to change. Very true. Whereas you've been trying to get her to change simply out of selfish reasons (thats the way she sees it at least), you have to shift your efforts into MAKING HER WANT TO CHANGE. Like all the others mentioned, you've been doing it ALL wrong. I also like Big Chill's metaphor of honey vs. vinegar. You've been too sour to handle up until now. She's starting to resent you. You gotta UP the support "axis" a little and make her feel good about herself: About her achievements/her potential and how happy it would make both of you feel (individually and for the relationship) if she simply stepped up to the plate and LIVED a little.

Communication is key. Ever since I told my girl of my problems with her passivity/lack of action (redundant?) in february, she's stepped up to the plate big time. I havent had this much fun with a chick since a while. All's good for today..tomorry, we never know!

Where in MTL are u from?

 

[Engetsu]

Just got back from her place. Spent an intense 7 hours on maths 416 with a couple of f-breaks... I'm used to tutoring people since I do that at college, plus her being my girlfriend makes it even easier since we can be 100% comfortable with each other. I got her weaknesses narrowed down, and we're working on them. I pretty much have that covered so far.

To the ones telling me to dump her... I guess she is worth changing. She is pretty average intellectually-wise but over the past two days I got her pretty pumped to change her ways... And she is trying pretty hard, with my help to support her.

I know this girl isn't the perfect woman that I listed the qualities of somewhere, but something deep inside me tells me to not let her go... I really don't know what. Oneitis? Love? It's just my gut that tells me so.

Thx for the advice jbbrain, I'll see how it works out for me on the long-term. Btw I'm from Laval but I just recently moved here. Usually I'm in Cartierville, like my current girl.