Girl From Work (How is this played differently?)

[Maurizio 2.0]

Ok, so normally I don't have too much of a problem making a move for a kiss or more on the first date, or definitely by the second.

But... I'm treading kinda cautiously with this girl I know from work. We both started at the identical time about a month ago, do the exact same job, and work at desks about 6 feet apart. Due to the nature of our work we can't really talk throughout the day, but we routinely talk during breaks, flirt somewhat obviously, plus some workplace kino from her to me.

In the last week we started hanging out and going on 'dates' outside of work. Without going into detail, our activities outside work have been pretty cliched 'couple' type activities... dinner, drinks, walks by the ocean near where we work... and it's all been good. She's made herself very available to me whenever I've suggested we do anything. Definitely some chemistry.

But I haven't kissed her yet.

I swear if it were a chick who I didn't see practically every day I would have definitely already made a move. Admittedly, my hesitance is just that I want to be ABSOLUTELY sure it will go over smooth before potentially awkwardizing what we have between us, and then having to continue seeing her at work.

I know there are other girls I could be chasing who I don't work with where I wouldn't have this problem... and I AM spinning plates with others... but still, I would like to get somewhere with this girl, so let's just take that as a given. How many more dates can we possibly go on though before it's just weird that we're NOT physical?

Anything special that I need to be aware of when it comes to pursuing a coworker?

For what it's worth, I'm 23 and she's 28. She's obviously in no better place in life however than I am. She strikes me as moving slowly too, whether it's because we work together, or because she got out of a 6-7 year relationship only about 6 months ago... it could be either. I get the sense that she's just recently gotten to a place where she's ready to date again anyway.

Any comments or suggestions on how to move forward with this situation would be really appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[TheCorey]

DON´T EVER PERSUE A CO-WORKER!!! :box:

Seriously, it´s the STUPIDEST Thing you can do!!!!!!!

If it fails or you do something wrong, she could want to sue you - and you could loose your Job and mess up your whole Carreer!!!

THERE ARE ENOUGH FEMALES OUT THERE - DON´T MESS UP YOUR WORK-SITUATION!!!

NEVER SH** WHERE YOU EAT, BROTHER!!! :woo:

 

[Maurizio 2.0]

I appreciate your responding. You missed the part however, about how I'm treating my going for this girl as a given. Considering that, I'd value any further relevant comments.

Intrigued, I took a look at your past posts, and couldn't find anything wasn't both insulting AND riddled with inappropriate caps and smiley face crap.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Try as you may, you do not undermine what TheCorey has attempted to tell you. He's right. Do not date people you work with! It never, ever, EVER ends well, it's always 100 times uglier than any other breakup because you have to see her at work! Then she has her camp against you, if you're lucky your guy friends will say "That sucks man" when you are away from the girls because they don't want to be on the side of the rejected guy.
Work relationships never work because you are up each other's a$$ every day and you will become attached and act like an AFC, then she will tell every woman there what a pu$$y you are.
Thank God I work for myself. When I worked in offices before I always saw this crap going on and thought "how stupid are you guys, so many chicks out there and you get wrapped up with one at work". Be the mystery man to the women at work-they love it, and so did I.

 

[MisterMcGee]

I fvcking hate how people say the same BS "dont date people you work with" line and totally stall your thread from going anywhere.

 

[GuanYu]

I fvcking hate how people say the same BS "dont date people you work with" line and totally stall your thread from going anywhere.

Especially considering how a lot of people end up hooking up with co-workers anyway. It's bad advice to give the default "don't fvck with people you work with"

If you are interested in pursuing her, it's almost a must that you make your interactions very brief. Say hi, maybe talk about work a little bit and keep it moving. Save all of the get to know you type talk for a date when you're not at work.

Keep having fun with dating her. You're both young so your best bet is to keep things light outside of work and if you want to escalate you should do it soon. If you two are attracted to each other there's no reason not to act on it. Not sure what kind of guy you are, but if I were in your shoes and things go well after you escalate/fvck her then don't mention any kind of exclusive relationship. Keeping things fun is always a plus when dealing with co-workers.

 

[Captain]

DON´T EVER PERSUE A CO-WORKER!!! :box:

Seriously, it´s the STUPIDEST Thing you can do!!!!!!!

If it fails or you do something wrong, she could want to sue you - and you could loose your Job and mess up your whole Carreer!!!

THERE ARE ENOUGH FEMALES OUT THERE - DON´T MESS UP YOUR WORK-SITUATION!!!

NEVER SH** WHERE YOU EAT, BROTHER!!! :woo:

And AFCs say that that kino and flirting with women you don't know is stupid.

Don't be paranoid about sexual harassment.

Flirt with her, if she flirts back or shows interested, it's not sexual harassment. If she wants it, it's not harassment.

 

[MisterMcGee]

All you have to do is not physically game her at work. let her initiate if she wants to, but just ask her to a date and let things ensue there.
+ youre prob gonna lose your job sooner or later anyways in this recession jks

 

[Daydream Engineer]

And AFCs say that that kino and flirting with women you don't know is stupid.

Don't be paranoid about sexual harassment.

Flirt with her, if she flirts back or shows interested, it's not sexual harassment. If she wants it, it's not harassment.

i agree, try light playfighting and start teasing her about work stuff

 

[Maurizio 2.0]

Thanks for the responses.

I hear what you guys are saying about keeping it brief at work and letting any unfolding occur outside the job. That's basically how it's been going. And yea, I totally agree on the latter comments about harassment. It's only harassment if it's unwanted. And anyways, I don't touch her at all during work, nor do I say anything much beyond small talk... so harassment is certainly not a concern. I would never be anything but professional at work.

To update... had her over to my place Wednesday night to make dinner. It was an impromptu invite, and she was excited to come over and agreed to come instantly. She showed up with wine in a bit. The wine lubricated the situation ever so slightly over dinner and things found their way to the bedroom. She made a pretty kinky playlist on my computer and we ended up wrestling and grinding on the bed when I went for the long overdue kiss.

At first she told me she was kinda hesitant because of the coworker issue, and I told her I was too. We had a discussion about "keeping things simple," not wanting any drama or weirdness, and leaving what happens outside of work outside of work... all the while she kinda gushed over me and told me she had been thinking about me all the time, was attracted, hadn't expected to meet someone cool at work, etc...

Didn't end up ****ing, but that's all good, probably could have gone there if I had wanted it to. She said at one point that "All guys want is to ****" so I told her "Pleeeasssee... It's much better for a woman anyway, and you're not getting any tonight." Made out on the bed for a long time, grinded her out, got a handjob...

Work the last two days hasn't been weird. Business as usual. If anything, now that I think about it, it's kinda weird just in my own head that things are all the same. I'm sure other colleagues don't even have a clue.

Outside of work however there's been suggestive text exchanges, and I'm sure we'll hang out again soon...