Girl from High School

[Energy25]

There was this girl that I met in 8th grade, and was completely obsessed with throughout all of high school. She liked me (was obsessed with me) in 8th grade, and admitted to liking me (to her friends and my friends) many years later in high school. She gave TONS of hints and stuff that she liked me all throughout high school. However, I was completely shy around her and got pretty much paralyzed around her lol.

I'm now 20 years old and we've been out of high school for over a year, so about 3 weeks ago, I thought I might as well write her and see if she responds.

Here's the messages so far:

Me: "hey stranger! how's your summer goin!? "

Her: "hey (a knickname she calls me)! My summer's going good I've been busy working a lot though but in my time off I've been boating and swimming. How's your summer been?!"

Now, after she sent me this message, I was out to eat with my family and she happened to be waitressing there! She was not our waitress so I never actually did talk to her because she was running around and seemed really busy. But this prompted me to reply with this...

Me: "I saw you working! hah i promise im not a stalker or anything but I was out to eat with my family and i thought i heard a familiar voice and after awhile of me being slow I realized it was you! i woulda said hi but you seemed pretty busy! you better of got some good tips! "

Her: "haha yeah i saw you but i didnt want to go up and say hi in front of your family and embarass you, because i feel like you would have been! yeah i make okay money ahha. are you working this summer?"

That is up to date with where we are now. My question is how to reply to her last message about how she thought I would be embarrassed if she had come up to me at the restaurant. She is probably saying this because of my previous AFC behavior in high school. Obviously I should have no reason to be embarrassed as a man. So, how should I reply to that to show I'm different?

 

[Biggie]

You don't need to come up with anything witty or clever. You gave her an excuse why you didn't say hi, and she gave you one back why she didn't say hi. Just email her again and answer her question about you working this summer, then say you two should hang out and catch up.

 

[Energy25]

You don't need to come up with anything witty or clever. You gave her an excuse why you didn't say hi, and she gave you one back why she didn't say hi. Just email her again and answer her question about you working this summer, then say you two should hang out and catch up.

Alright, fair enough. I just thought it would be an opportunity to be a little funny or whatever.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

"Why don't you take me out with all those tips you've earned".

 

[chinwaggler]

You are overthinking it...

 

[chinwaggler]

"Why don't you take me out with all those tips you've earned".

And that's just wrong she might think you're being serious. Even if she thinks you're joking she might not like it. He hasn't seen her for three years then he asks for her to take him out? dude...

 

[Energy25]

You are overthinking it...

I honestly was surprised she even responded because last time we talked it didn't end well lol. I'm not expecting anything out of this as I go back to school in 10 days. I'll just keep in touch with her from now on and maybe this Christmas break or next summer we can start hanging out if things go well.

I still feel like I should reply with something to put down the idea that I would have been nervous if she had approached me?

 

[Energy25]

Anyone else have any advice on how to reply to her last message of:

"haha yeah i saw you but i didnt want to go up and say hi in front of your family and embarass you, because i feel like you would have been! yeah i make okay money ahha. are you working this summer?"

Obviously I'll reply to the working part, but what about the part about being embarrassed? How should I respond to that specifically?

 

[EA Gold]

I'm not sure about this.

I've been in a situation like this before, and I think the best thing to do is to let this one go. If you were shy in the past and your still shy now, then It won't make a difference because in one way or another you'll end up messing up.

Forget about her and get your act together first. Go to the gym, work on your confidence, achieve your goals in life. Why let someone from the past affect you now and how you feel. Forget the past because its not real anymore, whats real is now.

 

[Energy25]

I'm not sure about this.

I've been in a situation like this before, and I think the best thing to do is to let this one go. If you were shy in the past and your still shy now, then It won't make a difference because in one way or another you'll end up messing up.

Forget about her and get your act together first. Go to the gym, work on your confidence, achieve your goals in life. Why let someone from the past affect you now and how you feel. Forget the past because its not real anymore, whats real is now.

Well I don't really think I'm as shy as I was before. I have been working out, trying to improve my inner game, etc. That's kind of why I contacted her in the first place, just to see if my game was good enough to get back with someone who I had basically embarrassed myself with before. If I can get with her, it would be a major success. I don't really care what happens one way or the other, and it feels good to feel this way about her for once. I used to put so much into her even though she's just one girl, but now she's just another one of my options. So, I would like to continue the conversation and see where it goes.

 

[secks]

Wait what is going on here. Stop conversating

Here's what your next reply should be something like. Let's catch up, we should meet up for (lunch or coffee etc) I'm free (name a day days).

You don't need to answer her last question. Next time you see her at the restaurant don't not talk to her. Leave the table and go to the bathroom, but stop by and say hi to her on the way.

Usually if she liked you once, she will probably be receptive to you again. It's either going to go one of two ways, she's no longer interested, and she turns down your advance, or she is very receptive (it's about time he made a move) and things will go very well very fast. Don't get your hopes up too high though.

 

[Energy25]

Wait what is going on here. Stop conversating

Here's what your next reply should be something like. Let's catch up, we should meet up for (lunch or coffee etc) I'm free (name a day days).

You don't need to answer her last question. Next time you see her at the restaurant don't not talk to her. Leave the table and go to the bathroom, but stop by and say hi to her on the way.

Usually if she liked you once, she will probably be receptive to you again. It's either going to go one of two ways, she's no longer interested, and she turns down your advance, or she is very receptive (it's about time he made a move) and things will go very well very fast. Don't get your hopes up too high though.

Thanks for the advice. In any other situation, I would do this, however, I am only home for another week and with this girl, I need to talk to her some before she would feel comfortable enough going out. Believe me. I think she is going to be very protective of herself because I have let her down in the past. I could give many more details, but doubt anyone would want to read all of that. I would like to just get her comfortable with talking to me, etc; however, I would like to obviously build attraction doing that. Anyone have advice on how to use ****y/funny, negs, over messaging?

 

[Energy25]

Anyone have any advice on how to spark attraction over messaging?

 

[ARrocket]

I need to talk to her some before she would feel comfortable enough going out.

That, sir, is a limiting belief. Get that out of your mindset.

Why is it that you think she's not comfortable going out with you?

"Yes ma'am I am, keeps me busy. Speaking of which, I only got another week around these parts, we gotta catch up. Send me your number."

Something like that.

Then if you MUST "make her more comfortable," do it over the phone. But don't waste too much time.

As for building attraction over messaging...it really isn't gonna work. See, you can create a brief INITIAL spark online, but you MUST move quickly to take the interaction OFFLINE. Why? Because things like C&F, negs, body language, tone...they don't convey too well online. Better to game her in person.

 

[Energy25]

That, sir, is a limiting belief. Get that out of your mindset.

Why is it that you think she's not comfortable going out with you?

"Yes ma'am I am, keeps me busy. Speaking of which, I only got another week around these parts, we gotta catch up. Send me your number."

Something like that.

Then if you MUST "make her more comfortable," do it over the phone. But don't waste too much time.

As for building attraction over messaging...it really isn't gonna work. See, you can create a brief INITIAL spark online, but you MUST move quickly to take the interaction OFFLINE. Why? Because things like C&F, negs, body language, tone...they don't convey too well online. Better to game her in person.

Alright I see what you mean. The only problem is she has been taking a LONG time to reply each time. (7-9 days per message lol), so by the time she replies I will be leaving for school. That's kind of why I don't want to ask to hang out because she might not even read the message until after I'm gone. So should I just ask for her number and say we should catch up sometime on the phone?

 

[DoItAgain]

I'm going to say what everyone else hasn't said...this sounds like one-it-is. You couldn't get her, you think you've changed, and you want to prove her wrong and f*** the **** out of her to feel better about yourself. Find someone new that you didn't screw up with.

 

[Energy25]

I'm going to say what everyone else hasn't said...this sounds like one-it-is. You couldn't get her, you think you've changed, and you want to prove her wrong and f*** the **** out of her to feel better about yourself. Find someone new that you didn't screw up with.

I am talking to new girls. I've already said I don't really care what the outcome of this exchange is, but I might as well try. I have nothing to lose with her. It's not like I'm focusing ONLY on her. There's other girls too.

Also, we are messaging over FACEBOOK, not texting. So, it takes longer to get back and forth.

 

[secks]

If she's taking more than a few hours to respond, sounds like she is not interested.

Move in for the kill, or forget about it, otherwise dragging it out will only bring you down.

 

[ARrocket]

So should I just ask for her number and say we should catch up sometime on the phone?

It doesn't matter. I wouldn't personally. If she doesn't reply on time, it's her loss. And she'll have to make it up to you when you're next in town