Girl from class; hasn't told me she has BF

[supCALI]

(TL; DR @ end)

Hey everyone. So there's this cute petite geeky girl I've been interested in in my lecture class and lab class. We've been partners since the 2nd week in lab where we developed some good rapport -- found out we're both 20 a few months apart, both gamers (she asked me if I was), both grew up in the same city, a lot of "me too"s and "right?"s. I had planned to approach her after that class to get her number but just as we were dismissed and about to walk out together the professor made me talk to him for being late. She waited by the door for a minute while he talked to me, watching what was going on but then smiled and waved goodbye at me and left as the professor droned on. I was pissed but decided I would simply get her number the next week.

The 3rd week when I came in, I didn't see her so I sat down at an empty row. She came in a little late and sat down right next to me. I had forgotten my lab workbook so me and her went to the library to make copies. On the way there, she actually surprised me. She said "I need a study buddy" and asked for my number, pre-empting me on getting hers. I know, that is probably not good because "study buddy" implies "friend". Anyway, I got her number and when I asked her how her weekend was, she started talking about this new FPS coming out she had a pre-order on, haha.

Well turns out she was absent for a lecture where she missed out on notes/handouts so we planned to meet at school before class yesterday so she could give me back my handout and I could give her the other notes she missed. We ended up missing each other but planned on meeting after class. I waited for a few minutes then sent her a message.

Me: I'm chilling at the spot right now
Her: **** I had to leave I'm sorry! Can I give it to you monday? My bad

I didn't reply because 1. I wouldn't be on campus Monday and 2. I wanted to see her this weekend for dinner. In the meantime after this, I tried to give her a couple phone calls to ask her out but it kept ringing twice then saying this number is not in service. I got busy then around 8 she sent me the folowing text

Her: Can I see you before class Monday?
(30 mins later) Me: For sure! Left a message on the phone you called me on earlier [after the above text, I looked through my phone and found she had called me on a different number then the one she was texting me on]. I don't have class monday but lets figure out a time to get together. How about this weekend?
(2 hours later) Her: That other phone was my friends this number is mine and ok, maybe a study sesh and halo or something lol

We had talked before about we should "totally play some games together" and she was very receptive. Well, now to the meat of the problem -- I did a little snooping because I know her full name and found her on FB, complete with cover photo holding hands with another dude and of her two profile pictures, one piggyback on the dude with an anniversary date like 8-16-08. Some chump commented how it was "inspiring" and she said something back like "thanks 4 years strong"

I haven't replied to her last text that was sent last night around 11 yet because I don't really know how I should proceed with this girl -- I was planning on asking her for dinner but now I just don't know. She has never mentioned her boyfriend before but now that I'm aware of I'm apprehensive. Is this a one-way ticket to friend zone-ville?

(TL; DR: Get along great with a girl, she says "I need a study buddy" and asks me for my number when I was planning on asking for hers, I ask for a get together but then find out through FB there's a 4-year boyfriend in the picture -- continue or cease and desist?)

 

[Kbomb]

she seems like a chill girl, just friend zone the chick and be a friend. Girls that game are a rare bunch, specially if they good looking. look elsewhere for new plates, and use her as a wing. Girl wings are the best wings.

 

[supCALI]

she seems like a chill girl, just friend zone the chick and be a friend. Girls that game are a rare bunch, specially if they good looking. look elsewhere for new plates, and use her as a wing. Girl wings are the best wings.

I'm thinking I should do this, if not just to meet her friends, however I still am unsure if I just want to go to friendzone-ville just yet. How should I respond to the text? Just let her know I'm down to chill and game at her place tomorrow?

 

[Greasy Pig]

I read here somewhere that the longer it takes for a girl to mention her BF, the more chance you have of fvcking her.
She's only 20 and been with the dude for four years. I'd say he's the only guy she's fvcked and she may be starting to wonder what another dyck would feel like. I think most women under 25 just want to fvck as many guys as possible to "experience life" or whatever other bullsht they use to justify their slvtty ways.

The other scenario is that she is committed to her BF but is looking for an ego boost by another guy trying to pick her up.

I'd play it as you have been and assume she's looking to branch swing. But don't be surprised if she suddenly pulls the "boyfriend" card when you ask her out.
Good luck!

 

[foreverAFC]

why dont you just hang out with her, and then ask her casually while you guys are playing video games?

" just wondering, but do you currently have a bf? "

 

[supCALI]

Thanks for the advice guys. I ended up texting her as follows

Me: Evening HB! how are you doing? Are you free to game/study around 4 tomorrow?
HB: Im not sure what my schedule is yet but ill let you know

I haven't replied because she put the burden on herself to 'let me know' since she's 'not sure' of her schedule, hah. How should I deal with this?

 

[Cremasta]

She's giving you a lot of opportunities here.

Use the study buddy and gaming sessions to initiate physical contact with her.
If a girl doesn't tell you she has a bf, then she doesn't have one.

Keep up the suave. You'll know when to make your move... afterwards she'll ask why you didn't try sooner.

 

[backseatjuan]

Hey virgin, drink beer together, or something harder. Ps study budy is same as fak buddy unless you gay.

 

[supCALI]

She's giving you a lot of opportunities here.

Use the study buddy and gaming sessions to initiate physical contact with her.
If a girl doesn't tell you she has a bf, then she doesn't have one.

Keep up the suave. You'll know when to make your move... afterwards she'll ask why you didn't try sooner.

Thanks -- will do; she still hasn't texted me since last night What are some good kino ice-breakers for when we're sitting next to each other gaming or studying?

Hey virgin, drink beer together, or something harder. Ps study budy is same as fak buddy unless you gay.

Beer is good. For sure. I just always thought when words like "buddy", "friend" (when not preceded with "fvck") are used it's an LJBF attempt.

 

[supCALI]

Finally got a text back about 30 minutes past 4.

HB: "Ill have to meet you in class on tuesday, im super busy, sorry"

I honestly don't really know how to respond or if I even should. She apologized, but she didn't offer up another time other than our class meeting. How should I play it from here?

 

[supCALI]

Well since she apologized, I responded by accepting her apology and telling her to not worry that something came up. Told her I'd see her at class tues and wished her a good rest of the weekend. We have a test coming up after this week so there's still time for another "study session". Going to continue to pursue other plates with higher IL's but would like to continue to see where I can take this.

 

[The Gambler]

Well since she apologized, I responded by accepting her apology and telling her to not worry that something came up. Told her I'd see her at class tues and wished her a good rest of the weekend. We have a test coming up after this week so there's still time for another "study session". Going to continue to pursue other plates with higher IL's but would like to continue to see where I can take this.

Look, what you've done up to this point is fine... No worries... But NOW... now you need to pull away and let HER make the next move. This basic scenario has unfolded countless times, and history shows us that the best course for you is to chill and let her figure a few things out. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," or something like that, right?

Every time you "check in" with her, be it a call or text, any mystery of where you are and what you're doing vanishes from her mind. So the next step for you should be a step of inaction.... NO COMMUNICATION until she contacts YOU!!! And when she sends her next text, wait at least an hour before responding. See, SHE shouldn't be the only person who has the possibility of drifting away...

The Gambler

 

[Igetit!]

Finally got a text back about 30 minutes past 4.

HB: "Ill have to meet you in class on tuesday, im super busy, sorry"

I honestly don't really know how to respond or if I even should. She apologized, but she didn't offer up another time other than our class meeting. How should I play it from here?

You said you're wondering how you should play this from here. Easy dude....


LEAVE HER ALONE. STOP trying to date her.

The title of this thread is," Girl from class; hasn't told me she has BF". She hasn't told you she has a boyfriend. Uhh..yeah,so? Why would she?

Why would she need to,you've NEVER said anything showing sexual interest.

ALL your conversations have been either academic:about schoolwork and classes,or about video games. Her bringing up her dating life would be out of place. Now if you'd asked her out on a date,THEN she mentioned her boyfriend,that would be appropriate.


You said you're not sure you want to go to "friendzone-ville" just yet. You may not have any choice in the matter. The LONGER YOU GO not showing your interest and hanging around her,the GREATER your chances of getting friendzoned.


And that thing she said here.....


Me: Evening HB! how are you doing? Are you free to game/study around 4 tomorrow?
HB: Im not sure what my schedule is yet but ill let you know


She asked for a "study buddy",but when you suggested a time to get together and study,she pulls the "I'll let you know" bullsh!t.


So far....EVERY SUGGESTION you've made about you two getting together had been met with an "I'm sorry" and an excuse,or an "I'll let you know",which has yet to pan out.



Personally,I'd be out. I'd be pursuing other girls. I wouldn't even bring up the studying thing. I'd say "Hi",I'd speak to her like normal,if she needs notes,I'd give them to her...everything would be the same....EXCEPT me trying to arrange a get together with her.



After all the trying you did,I'd be done. Either she'd do it,or it simply wouldn't happen.

 

[supCALI]

Look, what you've done up to this point is fine... No worries... But NOW... now you need to pull away and let HER make the next move. This basic scenario has unfolded countless times, and history shows us that the best course for you is to chill and let her figure a few things out. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," or something like that, right?

Every time you "check in" with her, be it a call or text, any mystery of where you are and what you're doing vanishes from her mind. So the next step for you should be a step of inaction.... NO COMMUNICATION until she contacts YOU!!! And when she sends her next text, wait at least an hour before responding. See, SHE shouldn't be the only person who has the possibility of drifting away...

The Gambler

Something like that, yeah dude. She is on NC. I actually ended up not responding for a day on the two last texts I replied to.

You said you're wondering how you should play this from here. Easy dude....


LEAVE HER ALONE. STOP trying to date her.

The title of this thread is," Girl from class; hasn't told me she has BF". She hasn't told you she has a boyfriend. Uhh..yeah,so? Why would she?

Why would she need to,you've NEVER said anything showing sexual interest.

ALL your conversations have been either academic:about schoolwork and classes,or about video games. Her bringing up her dating life would be out of place. Now if you'd asked her out on a date,THEN she mentioned her boyfriend,that would be appropriate.


You said you're not sure you want to go to "friendzone-ville" just yet. You may not have any choice in the matter. The LONGER YOU GO not showing your interest and hanging around her,the GREATER your chances of getting friendzoned.


And that thing she said here.....


Me: Evening HB! how are you doing? Are you free to game/study around 4 tomorrow?
HB: Im not sure what my schedule is yet but ill let you know


She asked for a "study buddy",but when you suggested a time to get together and study,she pulls the "I'll let you know" bullsh!t.


So far....EVERY SUGGESTION you've made about you two getting together had been met with an "I'm sorry" and an excuse,or an "I'll let you know",which has yet to pan out.



Personally,I'd be out. I'd be pursuing other girls. I wouldn't even bring up the studying thing. I'd say "Hi",I'd speak to her like normal,if she needs notes,I'd give them to her...everything would be the same....EXCEPT me trying to arrange a get together with her.



After all the trying you did,I'd be done. Either she'd do it,or it simply wouldn't happen.

I wanted to have her out on a date. When I suggested the get together I was thinking dinner, and maybe that's what I should gone with, but I felt she sort of moved the narrative on me with the study sesh/halo comment. I thought that would be a decent enough place to make sexual interests known, but like you pointed out -- if she's pulling that "ill let you know" bullsh!t then anything is prevented from panning out, period.

I don't want to waste time trying to schedule meet-up anymore with this girl, but I will still be "classmate normal" with her. She'll have to be the one to suggest anything.

 

[supCALI]

So she texted me to ask if I was at school today but I was at home studying for a math class.

HB: Hey you at school?
Me: Not atm, what's up HB? Studying for a calc exam tmrw and I just got the book yesterday haha
HB: Oh damn good luck! For our class the stuff on the quizzes at the beginning, are bold in the workbook right?
Me: Ty! Good question, I still don't have the workbook so I don't know but I think those terms were from the lecture powerpoint slides.
HB: I may have to copy your quiz lol
Me: Lol, if you show me yours I'll show you mine
HB: Haha dirty. I may not have the right answers but I'm reading the chapters so we shall see
Me: Good girl! I can focus on studying for my math test and you can do all the reading for our class for me. Perfect!
HB: Lmao OK but get the workbook!

That last text was 20 minutes ago, we're gonna see each other in 2 hours. I don't plan on being the one to arrange a meetup, but there's nothing wrong with being C/F and making my interests known right? She seems to be enjoying it.