Girl friend is losing interest! Help needed!

John.Peter151

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
1
Just an update, following up all your advices of being a "Challenge" thing's seems like getting better :D but just a lil bit improvement yet.. i didn't talked to her at night saying there are some guests i have to give company, and refused to do some of her favours straight forwardly, today i was sleeping and she left near 10 missed calls! and messages as if she was worried that i am angry about something with her! Hope it get more improved and back to normal :/
 

Skalioppe

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2012
Messages
208
Reaction score
13
John.Peter151 said:
Just an update, following up all your advices of being a "Challenge" thing's seems like getting better :D but just a lil bit improvement yet.. i didn't talked to her at night saying there are some guests i have to give company, and refused to do some of her favours straight forwardly, today i was sleeping and she left near 10 missed calls! and messages as if she was worried that i am angry about something with her! Hope it get more improved and back to normal :/
A little advice, explain your absence after the fact not before it. So you ignore, then later say "I'm sorry I had friends round..." etc etc. Otherwise it defeats the point. During that absence her mind will wander, ponder, project you doing all sorts of stuff through her paranoia. That increases your value to her, which increases attraction.

Women love men who are a mystery, so you need to keep the mystery element. Now make her sweat a few hours before replying to those 10 missed calls / texts. Then say, sorry flat phone battery or something.

Learn the game mate, women play it, you need to play it too if you want to keep her.
 

gspshields2

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2011
Messages
475
Reaction score
3
John.Peter151 said:
Just an update, following up all your advices of being a "Challenge" thing's seems like getting better :D but just a lil bit improvement yet.. i didn't talked to her at night saying there are some guests i have to give company, and refused to do some of her favours straight forwardly, today i was sleeping and she left near 10 missed calls! and messages as if she was worried that i am angry about something with her! Hope it get more improved and back to normal :/

Don't give in and become AFC again. Keep ignoring her, keep going out and having fun with your friends. Do not return her call, text her at night, once and be brief, something along the lines of , i see you called I was out busy, I will talk to you another time.
 

John.Peter151

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
1
Thanks Skalioppe and gspshields2, you guys are awesome :)
So well till how long should i keep doing this ****? :p obviously not forever, at last i will have to reduce the ignorance, of course not same mistakes again but at least not as much as doing now. o_O
 

gspshields2

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2011
Messages
475
Reaction score
3
John.Peter151 said:
Thanks Skalioppe and gspshields2, you guys are awesome :)
So well till how long should i keep doing this ****? :p obviously not forever, at last i will have to reduce the ignorance, of course not same mistakes again but at least not as much as doing now. o_O

If you give in now, you will lose her forever, its very tempting to do so, but women really have no respect for men who are desperate.

Why don't you start seeing other girls in the mean time so you can take your mind off of her?
(Of course, You don't tell her this)
 

John.Peter151

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
1
Now here's another new update: She called me and talked to me, then she wanted to talk about something, and asked me that "Are you losing interest from me?" and i was like confused and said that it's nothing like that why u think so? she said "Just a guess" i said its nothing like this and topic change. What you guys say? A positive move or negative?

EDIT: Now any more chances of getting her interest level raised?
 

Skalioppe

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2012
Messages
208
Reaction score
13
Don't fall for it mate. No offence, but are you really that naive? Think about it, you've been worshipping at the alter of her ego unhindered for a while, and now you've changed the dynamic she doesn't like it. Your 'worship' isn't as predictable and regimented, it's lacking the flavours of passion and indoctrination you previously demonstrated. She wants that worship back, so is playing the usual 'you don't seem to care' card. Bullsh1t women games. Do not fall into the honey trap.

This is actually good news for you if you know how to play the game.

My advice? Tell her she's being paranoid, do more of the same, and start getting her to do compliance tests. Ignore her for a while, then make requests of her. Can she pop into town and get you that latest CD you want. Can she drop something off at the post office. You get the idea. It's about revaluation of you through mystery and servitude, and devaluation of her thinking she's too good for you.

Continue aloof, keep her waiting, guessing and doing stuff for you. Watch attraction increase and your confidence go through the roof. Good job man, don't drop the ball now! :)
 

EastWind

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 24, 2007
Messages
252
Reaction score
18
Location
Germany
John.Peter151 said:
Thanks Skalioppe and gspshields2, you guys are awesome :)
So well till how long should i keep doing this ****? :p obviously not forever, at last i will have to reduce the ignorance, of course not same mistakes again but at least not as much as doing now. o_O
You fail to understand the purpose of this. You don't go No Contact to win her back, which is an impossibility at this point, you do it so you will get over her and focus on other things besides her.

Yes, that means she will be forever out of your life.
Yes, that means you will never talk to her again.
Yes, that means flipping a switch in your head, which is hard.

But it also means you will heal.

Before you start a discussion about the "forever" or "never": perhaps not forever. One day, in the distant future, when you truly don't care about her anymore, you will once again be able to interact with her. For the purpose of this post, you can swap "forever" with "the next five years." So now, what do you want to do with these five years? Sit around moping and waiting, or actually do stuff, meet other people, forget her?
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,377
Reaction score
2,690
Location
Texas
The pain must inspire you to improve.
 
Last edited:

John.Peter151

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
1
EastWind said:
You fail to understand the purpose of this. You don't go No Contact to win her back, which is an impossibility at this point, you do it so you will get over her and focus on other things besides her.

Yes, that means she will be forever out of your life.
Yes, that means you will never talk to her again.
Yes, that means flipping a switch in your head, which is hard.

But it also means you will heal.

Before you start a discussion about the "forever" or "never": perhaps not forever. One day, in the distant future, when you truly don't care about her anymore, you will once again be able to interact with her. For the purpose of this post, you can swap "forever" with "the next five years." So now, what do you want to do with these five years? Sit around moping and waiting, or actually do stuff, meet other people, forget her?
Actually if you see posts by "Skalioppe", "Barracuda" and betheman - the purpose is to become a challenge to gain her interest back.
 

gspshields2

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2011
Messages
475
Reaction score
3
John.Peter151 said:
Actually if you see posts by "Skalioppe", "Barracuda" and betheman - the purpose is to become a challenge to gain her interest back.
Did you get other girls numbers like everyone suggested? It will improve your confidence and she will pick up on this.
 

John.Peter151

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
1
Yes having contact with few :) and the best part she know this and her mood get ****ed when ever i talk about them with her, good sign?
 

gspshields2

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2011
Messages
475
Reaction score
3
John.Peter151 said:
Yes having contact with few :) and the best part she know this and her mood get ****ed when ever i talk about them with her, good sign?
What did you say to your gf about the other girls?

This is not something that your supposed to tell her of course,

if she finds out, no big deal, but straight out telling her? hmmm

this could backfire
 

John.Peter151

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
1
That we are just friend's, she say its f9 but suddenly her mood swings down lol
and yeah, nowadays she tease me a lot, never did this before.

EDIT: Not straight telling, she herself got to know, those are her friend's too :) i know
 

gspshields2

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2011
Messages
475
Reaction score
3
John.Peter151 said:
That we are just friend's, she say its f9 but suddenly her mood swings down lol
and yeah, nowadays she tease me a lot, never did this before.

EDIT: Not straight telling, she herself got to know, those are her friend's too :) i know

Wow, she is more interested in you now,
you are alpha man,

good job.

Now start going out with those other girls, don't tell her about it, and keep us updated daily ok?
 

EastWind

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 24, 2007
Messages
252
Reaction score
18
Location
Germany
John.Peter151 said:
Actually if you see posts by "Skalioppe", "Barracuda" and betheman - the purpose is to become a challenge to gain her interest back.
I disagree. Well, OK, they may have posted that (didn't and won't check), but my personal opinion - which seems to be the popular one on the board these days - is that once it's fubar'd, it's fubar'd, and there's nothing you can do.

OP, think about it this way: even if you do "win" her back... what then? You now know what she is capable of. You somehow sound as if you could "forgive and forget", which is even worse than just keeping this outburst of hers in the back of your head because she will KNOW you are a sap who will take her back even after she pulls some ridiculous bullcrap on you.
 

headFirst

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2012
Messages
188
Reaction score
3
Location
Chicago
Once a skank always a skank.. She started to check out, because you were an option.. now that you are becoming less of an option she's making it her priority to make sure she doesn't end up with nothing. From the way it sounds first opportunity she gets she will leave you.

let go of her or you will be singing these lyrics for a while:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P4GV_nPSU8
 

John.Peter151

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
1
gspshields2 said:
Wow, she is more interested in you now,
you are alpha man,

good job.

Now start going out with those other girls, don't tell her about it, and keep us updated daily ok?
Yeah she seems to be :) But the only thing i dislike is teasing, she tease a lot and sometimes i don't feel good with it, like calling me a jerk in a funny way lol but at least she seems to be worried that i'm changing ;)
EastWind said:
I disagree. Well, OK, they may have posted that (didn't and won't check), but my personal opinion - which seems to be the popular one on the board these days - is that once it's fubar'd, it's fubar'd, and there's nothing you can do.

OP, think about it this way: even if you do "win" her back... what then? You now know what she is capable of. You somehow sound as if you could "forgive and forget", which is even worse than just keeping this outburst of hers in the back of your head because she will KNOW you are a sap who will take her back even after she pulls some ridiculous bullcrap on you.
If i won her back, which i think 60% chance now, i will be able to forget because it's human nature, as in previous posts the member "Barracuda" said "Satisfaction is the death of desire" So it's basically not her fault if she started losing interest. It's me who made her satisfied and fulfilled the whole wish of her, which i should have left unfulfilled a little bit, by being a "Hard to get" for whom she would have to work hard. I was a challenge for her before, but then this bloody love changed me into a clingy guy who have nothing else to do expect talking to her lol. So i'll try not making the same mistake again hopefully :) If i got her back.

headFirst said:
Once a skank always a skank.. She started to check out, because you were an option.. now that you are becoming less of an option she's making it her priority to make sure she doesn't end up with nothing. From the way it sounds first opportunity she gets she will leave you.

let go of her or you will be singing these lyrics for a while:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P4GV_nPSU8
She went away just for the fact i became of less value as i told before.
 
Top