Girl Freaked Out On Me

NewAndImproved

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I've been hooking up w/this girl for about 3 weeks, once or twice a week. I'm inexperienced and still a virgin...but I got a BJ and finger her...both firsts. Anyway, everything was going fine until Thurs. As usual we met up at a party, danced for a bit and went back to her place. However, she was really drunk this time around. Things proceeded as usual until she was like "I like you...but I'm spinning." She then went to the bathroom and I heard her throwing up. I stay w/her a while and then went home. In the morning she called and apologized, saying she hoped we could still hang out. I told her no worries, everyone has nights like that and we planned to meet over the weekend.

We met up last night at another party, hung out w/her friends a bit and then went back to my room. She tried to get me to come back to hers but I resisted. Anyway, we made out pretty heavily, probably the most so far and then I started to put my hands on her panties. All of a sudden she's like "I can't do this. I don't know you well enough. I'm gonna go." Without saying a word I turned on the lights and went back to my bed. I'm like "you can go if you want...or we can talk." She stayed silent a second, said "I'm sorry," gave me a hug and left.

Given that I have absolutely no experience with this, I'm just curious to know where I went wrong. Was she worried we'd finally have sex? Given that we've done increasingly more intimate things each time, I thought that was what she wanted? I never forced her to do anything she didn't want to. And how should I proceed next?
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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I honestly don't know. Women are weird.... Maybe, you went for the gold too quick :rolleyes: Don't worry about it. Don't talk to her again and unless she calls you. Look for another girl to date.
 

NewAndImproved

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Yeah, you're probably right. I'd like to at least clear the air w/her but I know calling/texting wouldn't be smart. It's a small enough campus and knowing my luck I'll bump into her eventually.
 

reachinside

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Why did u resist going to her place? Shy girls need a place there comfortable to do it. Either u must supply that comfort and trust that nothing in that room will ever reach anyones ears or u must do it in a place that she feels that way naturally. She was giving u the shot alright, u just missed the vibe and picked up on it too late. The good news is she probably had it in her mind that she was gonna **** u at her place so shes been thinking about it.. probably still is..

Maybe u can try something like call her up say I gotta come over to ur place to talk about what happened. If she says lets talk about it over the phone just say I really cant. This has to be in person.

The good news again is that if shes interest4ed shell let u over and if u are looking for those sexual vibes u may get another chance.. I cant tell u take it slow or fast since shes acting like this u need to figure it out for urself then and there. If she says no u cant meet her ever then good ebcause she is a wierdo and if u ever ****ed her she would wanna marry u or be ur stalker. Either way is only good news
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

NewAndImproved

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verysuave said:
how did you go from getting her number to the BJ part?
#1... Saw her eye me at a party, approached her and a friend, danced w/her and then took her back to my place. She gave me a handjob, I fingered her but when I tried to go down she resisted. She spent the night and I got her number when she left.

#2...We met up at a party and talked and danced a little. When I told her I'd walk her back she told me for the 2nd time "I don't know you well enough for that," to which I just said "huh? I just wanted to walk you back." She went off w/some friends and I did too. When she came back I was acting like I was gonna hang out w/my friends instead and that's when she asked me to walk her back. When we got back, I didn't try anything. We just watched a movie.

#3...Met up at a party and danced a bit. Then SHE took me outside and the next thing I know we're back in my room. She gave me head and seemed really into everything.

Add these three to my OP (#4 and #5) and that's the whole story. Looking back, I guess she kind of resisted some things in the past (I don't know you well enough) and maybe it finally all caught up w/her in some sort of delayed buyer's remorse.
 

Desdinova

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I'm just curious to know where I went wrong.
You encountered the anti-slvt defense. It's fairly common and nothing to really worry about. The problems can come with how you deal with it.

I'm like "you can go if you want...or we can talk." She stayed silent a second, said "I'm sorry," gave me a hug and left.
You seemed to handle it fairly well - you didn't beg her to stay. Don't mention the situation to her and make another date with her.

When this comes up again, just go with the woman's wish to stop. Then, go do something else. Turn on the TV and see if anything good's on. She'll feel like SHE's the one who screwed up and will likely want to try seducing you back into the mood.
 

verysuave

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NewAndImproved said:
#1... Saw her eye me at a party, approached her and a friend, danced w/her and then took her back to my place. She gave me a handjob, I fingered her but when I tried to go down she resisted. She spent the night and I got her number when she left.

#2...We met up at a party and talked and danced a little. When I told her I'd walk her back she told me for the 2nd time "I don't know you well enough for that," to which I just said "huh? I just wanted to walk you back." She went off w/some friends and I did too. When she came back I was acting like I was gonna hang out w/my friends instead and that's when she asked me to walk her back. When we got back, I didn't try anything. We just watched a movie.

#3...Met up at a party and danced a bit. Then SHE took me outside and the next thing I know we're back in my room. She gave me head and seemed really into everything.

Add these three to my OP (#4 and #5) and that's the whole story. Looking back, I guess she kind of resisted some things in the past (I don't know you well enough) and maybe it finally all caught up w/her in some sort of delayed buyer's remorse.
So, im assuming very little rapport then? just based on physical attraction
1. u ASKED her to come with you back to your place?
2. U get to your place, and 5 minutes later she unzips your pants and starts svcking on your d1ck? who initiated what? and what was said

thanks
 

SharinganUser

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Sounds like you went a bit to fast. You gotta warm her up before you can touch her panties. Just keep doing what you are doing but slow it down a tad so she can build up with anticipation.
 

NewAndImproved

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verysuave said:
So, im assuming very little rapport then? just based on physical attraction
1. u ASKED her to come with you back to your place?
2. U get to your place, and 5 minutes later she unzips your pants and starts svcking on your d1ck? who initiated what? and what was said

thanks
I never asked her. We were dancing for a bit and then she lead me outside. She told me she got a text from her friend saying she was going back w/some guy. I said "already?!" She's like "look who's talking."

Anyway we go back...random fluff while we were sitting on my bed. In mid sentence, I started making out w/her. After a min or 2 I turned off the lights, moved slowly and took of her bra. Pleasured her there. Fingered her (she even helped me out). And then she did the deed and didn't leave until early in the morning.
 

NewAndImproved

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verysuave said:
So, im assuming very little rapport then? just based on physical attraction
thanks
Possibly. I'm still a very shy guy. I'm good at one liners and C&F but as far as random chatting at a party, I don't really know what to talk about.
 
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