Girl flakes then acts keen again?

[For_F]

Short story - Been bumping into this girl because we work for the same organisation. I see her every couple weeks and she always smiles at me and stares right at me. About a month ago I approached her when we were about to use a lift and talked to her for a few minutes, she couldn't stop smiling at me and seemed so engaged as if she'd been waiting for me to approach her for a long time.

Bumped into her again the week after that, talked for about 10 minutes was great and got her number. Told her I'd message her that night to get my number (I know DJ error but haven't been on this forum for long at all) so I messaged her that night. We texted back and forth totalling maybe 8 - 10 messages. I waited 3 days after that night to ring, no pick up and she didn't have voicemail. I then waited 5 days and rang again (error probably I know again) and she completely ignored me.

So now, two weeks have past since then and I see her in my office building and she's talking to someone. She instantly brightens up when she sees me and stops the other person mid conversation to say hello to me, I walked by and said hey very friendly but didn't stop. Half hour later I was outside the office and she approaches me asking how my day's been and making small talk. I was friendly but more professional then anything else and acted indifferent to it all. I'm confident I didn't seem bitter or puzzled by her flaking one bit. Then my coworker came outside to meet me because he asked to talk to me. I told the girl that I had to go meet with my coworker and said bye and she got a bit taken back by me leaving her for my coworker I believe and that was that.

How do you think I played the situation and what do you think her thoughts are? She went from being ULTRA keen to flaking and now was pretty much following me around and ignoring conversations she was already in just to say hi. We got along really well and she's about a 7.5/10 so wanted some action at least.

 

[flashpoint]

Half hour later I was outside the office and she approaches me asking how my day's been and making small talk. I was friendly but more professional then anything else and acted indifferent to it all.

ähm ... ??? why not say "i tried to call you a few times, but seems like you were busy" ??? then accept explanation whatever it is and set up a date outside the company?

this is one of the hardest things to learn, to not let your emotions get the best of you. not only in the dating game, but generally in life. so you got emotionally invested, then frustrated and lost track of the ball. there might be a gazillion reasons why she didnt call back. who knows. and who knows what she is thinking. it doesnt matter. there is no need to let it get to you. what matters is that you make things happen.

 

[Igetit!]

Short story - Been bumping into this girl because we work for the same organisation. I see her every couple weeks and she always smiles at me and stares right at me. About a month ago I approached her when we were about to use a lift and talked to her for a few minutes, she couldn't stop smiling at me and seemed so engaged as if she'd been waiting for me to approach her for a long time.

Bumped into her again the week after that, talked for about 10 minutes was great and got her number. Told her I'd message her that night to get my number (I know DJ error but haven't been on this forum for long at all) so I messaged her that night. We texted back and forth totalling maybe 8 - 10 messages. I waited 3 days after that night to ring, no pick up and she didn't have voicemail. I then waited 5 days and rang again (error probably I know again) and she completely ignored me.

So now, two weeks have past since then and I see her in my office building and she's talking to someone. She instantly brightens up when she sees me and stops the other person mid conversation to say hello to me, I walked by and said hey very friendly but didn't stop. Half hour later I was outside the office and she approaches me asking how my day's been and making small talk. I was friendly but more professional then anything else and acted indifferent to it all. I'm confident I didn't seem bitter or puzzled by her flaking one bit. Then my coworker came outside to meet me because he asked to talk to me. I told the girl that I had to go meet with my coworker and said bye and she got a bit taken back by me leaving her for my coworker I believe and that was that.

How do you think I played the situation and what do you think her thoughts are? She went from being ULTRA keen to flaking and now was pretty much following me around and ignoring conversations she was already in just to say hi. We got along really well and she's about a 7.5/10 so wanted some action at least.

The title of this thread is," Girl flakes then acts keen again? ".

I read this thing two times. Uhhh....where's the flaking?


You never asked her out or set up a date. Where's the date you set up that she didn't show up to? All you have here is a few unreturned phonecalls.


She's not invested enough. You had 8 to 10 traded texts with her in a span of what....15/20 minutes? That's NOT ENOUGH to get a woman invested.


You said she was stopping IN THE MIDDLE of conversations with people just to speak to you,AND following you around. I'd use those opportunities to generate some attraction,to raise her interest.


As for the unreturned calls,after saying hi,or her coming up to me,I'd be like,"So what happened? I gave you a call the other day,but couldn't get ahold of you." You have to pursue to gain her interest.

Your work ISN'T DONE just cause she gave you her number.

 

[stickman21]

The title of this thread is," Girl flakes then acts keen again? ".

I read this thing two times. Uhhh....where's the flaking?


You never asked her out or set up a date. Where's the date you set up that she didn't show up to? All you have here is a few unreturned phonecalls.


She's not invested enough. You had 8 to 10 traded texts with her in a span of what....15/20 minutes? That's NOT ENOUGH to get a woman invested.


You said she was stopping IN THE MIDDLE of conversations with people just to speak to you,AND following you around. I'd use those opportunities to generate some attraction,to raise her interest.


As for the unreturned calls,after saying hi,or her coming up to me,I'd be like,"So what happened? I gave you a call the other day,but couldn't get ahold of you." You have to pursue to gain her interest.

Your work ISN'T DONE just cause she gave you her number.

I agree with what you say here. What if he had already been on a date and she indicated a 2nd date but didn't return the call trying to setup the second date?

 

[Igetit!]

I agree with what you say here. What if he had already been on a date and she indicated a 2nd date but didn't return the call trying to setup the second date?

Now that's different.


If you've been on a date,called her a few times AFTER the date and never got a returned call,it's probably a case of low/no interest.


I might call once or twice a few days later to attempt a second date,but if you're the only one calling and you don't hear a peep out of her,I'd just move on.

 

[For_F]

ähm ... ??? why not say "i tried to call you a few times, but seems like you were busy" ??? then accept explanation whatever it is and set up a date outside the company?

this is one of the hardest things to learn, to not let your emotions get the best of you. not only in the dating game, but generally in life. so you got emotionally invested, then frustrated and lost track of the ball. there might be a gazillion reasons why she didnt call back. who knows. and who knows what she is thinking. it doesnt matter. there is no need to let it get to you. what matters is that you make things happen.

Hmmm I honestly thought that by not bringing up the whole missed calls thing that I wasn't showing my emotions or letting my emotions get the best of me. I can see your point and I had to go against my basic instincts to not ask. I still find it hard to believe that if a girl is interested she won't find some way of getting back to you I guess that's why I completely did what I did.

 

[For_F]

The title of this thread is," Girl flakes then acts keen again? ".

I read this thing two times. Uhhh....where's the flaking?


You never asked her out or set up a date. Where's the date you set up that she didn't show up to? All you have here is a few unreturned phonecalls.


She's not invested enough. You had 8 to 10 traded texts with her in a span of what....15/20 minutes? That's NOT ENOUGH to get a woman invested.


You said she was stopping IN THE MIDDLE of conversations with people just to speak to you,AND following you around. I'd use those opportunities to generate some attraction,to raise her interest.


As for the unreturned calls,after saying hi,or her coming up to me,I'd be like,"So what happened? I gave you a call the other day,but couldn't get ahold of you." You have to pursue to gain her interest.

Your work ISN'T DONE just cause she gave you her number.

I felt like over the several times we saw each other and then had a few conversations which lasted several minutes, I built enough of a foundation to not get missed calls and unreturned calls. It's obvious that my perception of how things would pan out was wrong and I was wrong to even assume or take for granted that I'd get dates out of this.

I'm sure I'll bump into her again within the next few weeks and I will ask her about the whole missed calls thing and just get to know what's up. Funny how my mind is thinking about this website and it's advice on women when I'm picking up or trying to pick up lol. I never thought I had major holes in my game until I came onto her. Sure beats loveshack and enotalone!

 

[csycpr]

Hmmm I honestly thought that by not bringing up the whole missed calls thing that I wasn't showing my emotions or letting my emotions get the best of me. I can see your point and I had to go against my basic instincts to not ask. I still find it hard to believe that if a girl is interested she won't find some way of getting back to you I guess that's why I completely did what I did.

I used to think that same thing for a long time. Experience has taught me that it's not really true though. Chicks can be bizarre this way. You just have to accept that sometimes that's how it is. Imo, this girl seems pretty interested in you. I'd call her even without running into her again. If you don't, then arrange something with her next time you see her, don't drag the whole thing out too long and she loses interest.