Girl flakes on me after I flaked on her

[rascal99v]

I set up a date last Thursday with a chick I just met. But then I set up a "movie date" at another chick's place the same night which was a guaranteed lay. So I had to call her back to flake on her. I made up some excuse that my work schedule got changed and had to work longer hours. She was disappointed and right away wanted to know what day we could reschedule. I told her that I was busy on both Friday night and Sunday but not sure about Saturday because of work. I told her that I would know my schedule on Friday. I had to make my excuse look good LOL.

She called me on Friday afternoon and asked me if I knew what my hours were. I said I'm free on Tuesday night to go out and she said that she would be free. She texted me during the Super Bowl to tell me that the game sucks. Later on she texted about some random stuff. Monday evening she texted and said

"Rascal, I'm really excited about our date tomorrow night."

Tuesday morning I get a text from her that says

Her: "I'm really not feeling that well at all today. I think I'm going to go home and sleep it off so I feel better later."

Rascal: That sucks you're not feeling well. Go get some rest and feel better.

About 2 hours later I get this text from her

"Maybe it's better that I am sick. You probably wouldn't have shown up anyway."


Wtf? I didn't reply to that text. I don't get her change of attitude thinking I wasn't going to show. Chicks do this sh!t all the time to guys. And I'm sure she's done this to guys before herself. I'm going to ignore this and wait to see if she texts or calls. No need to answer a rude ass text.

 

[Phxxx]

She did the right thing, ain't got time for games.

Huh?

You're fine she was definately excited. You are thinking right just wait a few days, dont bring up the past and just reschedule.

You are to be a man with a busy life and she seems to just being a little unsecure but.if you contact her and make plans (an keep them)

she probably will too. An if she flakes she wasnt as interested as she was showing

 

[El Payaso]

Don't respond. Just ignore it.

 

[rascal99v]

She did the right thing, ain't got time for games.

What are you talking about? I had other options. I was putting my best interests first. How is that playing games? I had a guaranteed lay dude, so I wasn't going to miss out on that.

Why is it when a guy puts his best interests ahead of him you say it's playing games? When a chick does the same thing, it's perfectly fine for her to do. Then you would be telling guys to keep calling her for a date. Chicks do this all the time and when I do it I'm playing games LOL :crackup:

She did the wrong thing and that text was rude.

 

[Nickface]

What are you talking about? I had other options. I was putting my best interests first. How is that playing games? I had a guaranteed lay dude, so I wasn't going to miss out on that.

Why is it when a guy puts his best interests ahead of him you say it's playing games? When a chick does the same thing, it's perfectly fine for her to do. Then you would be telling guys to keep calling her for a date. Chicks do this all the time and when I do it I'm playing games LOL :crackup:

She did the wrong thing and that text was rude.

Lol are you serious? Do you not think your coming off as being a ****? So you automatically assume every chick is the same way? That's ok though. Flake on a potential good one so us decent guys can get a chance. I can tell what she did got to you because your writing on a forum and you thought she was rude. You pretty much lost in terms of who has the upper hand here.

 

[sharkbeat]

What are you talking about? I had other options. I was putting my best interests first. How is that playing games? I had a guaranteed lay dude, so I wasn't going to miss out on that.

Why is it when a guy puts his best interests ahead of him you say it's playing games? When a chick does the same thing, it's perfectly fine for her to do. Then you would be telling guys to keep calling her for a date. Chicks do this all the time and when I do it I'm playing games LOL :crackup:

She did the wrong thing and that text was rude.

No, sometimes people really can't make it because of a very good reason. You did that, and sometimes women also did that. We are living in a modern age now where women have life more than men. Women don't just stay at home like it used to be. So it's only natural for people, men or women, to be busy and have other things going.

It is YOUR ego that got hurt because a chick did that to you.

She thought that you were playing games by flaking on her. People can't read your mind, man. It doesn't matter whether it's a legit excuse, it still hurts when you are on other side.

 

[backseatjuan]

Chicks do this sh!t all the time to guys.

Dude, you're crazy!

She wasn't feeling alright and went home, and told you about it, nothing to it.

You favored a date with another woman to her date, you basically was faking another girl. What you expect?

Why do you get all emotional like a homo when a chick gets sick?

 

[YAboi]

call her and say " babe it ain't even like that . Let me make it up to you on xxxyz day "

 

[G_Govan]

I haven't been to these forums in a long while and I must say, with the exception of El Payaso, you've been getting some terrible feedback.

Even if you decided to flake because you wanted to sit on the couch and scratch your balls while watching a football game, there would still be nothing wrong in doing so, it's your prerogative. You don't owe her anything except a notice of cancellation, which you provided.

It's pretty obvious she flaked on you out of spite and you correctly picked up on it. The text she sent was pretty much screaming it.

Since you've already ignored the text, I would contact her at a later date and pretend like you never paid much attention to the comment, if she brings it up that is. As long as she doesn't continue to act like a b-tch, proceed as you normally would.

Women, especially of the westernized variety are used to being in the driver's seat in relationships or at least pulling the strings, at all times. This probably threw her for a loop and pissed her off. It's to be expected.

Do not apologize. Do not behave in anyway like what you did was wrong. In other words, maintain congruency. This was nothing more than a sh-t test. If she's too far gone, let her go. That's the whole point of spinning plates, don't let these guys throw you off your game.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Whoa. I definetly wasn't expecting the responses you got. Damn Lol.
Anyways, I'm cosigning on G_Govan you did everything right and reacted to that disrespectful message appropriately too. The next move is wait it out (2-3 days) and if she doesn't hit you up, shoot a text completely oblivious of that stupid sh1t she messaged you trying to set up a meetup. She doesn't respond ? oh well her loss.

And for future reference, don't lie on a flake. Tell that b1tch you can't make it cause' "some **** came up" no need for an explanation or an elaborate lie. "Can't make it, let's reschedule " if she inquires more ignore it. You don't owe anybody an explanation for why you, a man, make any decision.

That little line she texted was a sh1t test. To see if you'd supplicate. You passed and I'd say its highly likely she'll hit you up later on.

 

[Bokanovsky]

What are you talking about? I had other options. I was putting my best interests first. How is that playing games? I had a guaranteed lay dude, so I wasn't going to miss out on that.

Why is it when a guy puts his best interests ahead of him you say it's playing games? When a chick does the same thing, it's perfectly fine for her to do.

She knowns what's going on and that you're lying about your work schedule (as you say, she has probably done the same thing to guys more than once). I don't blame you for making the choice that you've made but I also don't blame her for changing her mind about meeting you. Though it was a little passive aggressive of her to pretend that she still wanted to see you only to flake last minute. She should have just gone NC.

 

[rascal99v]

Wow, I don't get some of these replies. It's obvious to me that these guys have no options and they insult me for putting my best interest ahead of me. I canceled the date with her and rescheduled another. What's wrong with that? Nothing. She was the one who started in playing games with me. She has probably done the same thing to other men. Why are you guys defending her?

Lol are you serious? Do you not think your coming off as being a ****? So you automatically assume every chick is the same way?
That's ok though. Flake on a potential good one so us decent guys can get a chance. I can tell what she did got to you because your writing on a forum and you thought she was rude. You pretty much lost in terms of who has the upper hand here.

No, I don't think I'm coming off an as a$$hole. I'm not sure why you would think that I am. Why am I an a$$hole for making the best choice for me at that particular time? And I'm not assuming anything. So, I'm not a decent guy for getting something that I want? LOL :crackup:

Yes, she was rude to send me a text like. After she made a point in asking me to go out again another time. Why don't you see it that way?


She's a good one? You've never even met her. So how would you know. A good one doesn't play sh!tty games. That's what she is doing.

How did I lose? I banged another chick that night. The date with her could have been a bust. That's why I chose the better offer. And that makes me an a$$hole or not a decent guy? I didn't reply to her text and I chose not to go out with her. I had the say in what I wanted. That's having the upper hand as far as I'm concerned.

Let me ask you something, what do you do when a chick flakes on you? You probably can't wait to ask her out again. So, why is it that I'm an a$$hole for doing that, and when a chick does that to a guy it's ok? If you were presented with a better offer, would you not take it?

No, sometimes people really can't make it because of a very good reason. You did that, and sometimes women also did that. We are living in a modern age now where women have life more than men. Women don't just stay at home like it used to be. So it's only natural for people, men or women, to be busy and have other things going.

I'm not questioning her reason. I'm questioning the rudeness in the text she sent me yesterday. There was no need for that. She is playing games with me. There's no reason why I can't break a date with someone if something better comes up. True, but most of the time women will flake because they have another dude they go out with.

It is YOUR ego that got hurt because a chick did that to you.

She thought that you were playing games by flaking on her. People can't read your mind, man. It doesn't matter whether it's a legit excuse, it still hurts when you are on other side.

She is the one playing games as far as I'm concerned. I'm not going to play them with her.

If she thought I was playing games before, she wouldn't have set up another date for yesterday. She wouldn't have been texting me either. I told her I couldn't make the date and that was the truth.

Pretty much. That work excuse was mad lame and she saw straight thru it, she knew she wasn't your priority so now she's making plans with someone else who will make her a priority.

If your going to be a playa, make sure your game is tight.

My excuse wasn't lame. She knew that I had to work last Thursday. Which I did. I told her before that my hours change even before we set up the date. Which they do.

Again, this chick probably lied and flaked on guys before. So, I'm the bad guy for doing what she has done to other guys?. yeah, right. :crackup:

Why are you defending her for being rude? Let me ask you something, would you not take a better offer when it's presented to you? You are giving your wrong opinions in which you know nothing about

Dude, you're crazy!

She wasn't feeling alright and went home, and told you about it, nothing to it.

You favored a date with another woman to her date, you basically was faking another girl. What you expect?

Why do you get all emotional like a homo when a chick gets sick?

So, you're telling me that chicks don't flake on a guy to go out with another man? yeah, ok. :crazy:

I don't care about the fact that she was sick. She sent me a rude text out of the blue. There was no need for that. Yes, I did favor another chick because it was a guaranteed lay. So what? She didn't know that. Chicks do that all the time to guys. Would you pass up a lay for a chick you don't know all that well? I took the best option between the two that night. There's nothing wrong with that. Why do you sound like a dumbass calling me a lame name and not knowing all the facts? Her being sick doesn't matter. The rude text does, after she was excited for the date.

call her and say " babe it ain't even like that . Let me make it up to you on xxxyz day "

No, I'm not going to call her or say that. She sent the rude text and flaked. So, it's up to her to call me. I'm not going to chase her or play her games.

I haven't been to these forums in a long while and I must say, with the exception of El Payaso, you've been getting some terrible feedback.

Yes, the feedback is terrible. The last 3 posts evened out the bad ones. I get discredited by these guys and they take the side of a chick whom they never even met.

Even if you decided to flake because you wanted to sit on the couch and scratch your balls while watching a football game, there would still be nothing wrong in doing so, it's your prerogative. You don't owe her anything except a notice of cancellation, which you provided.

You're damn right.

It's pretty obvious she flaked on you out of spite and you correctly picked up on it. The text she sent was pretty much screaming it..

And to carry it on for 5 days is pretty sh!tty

Since you've already ignored the text, I would contact her at a later date and pretend like you never paid much attention to the comment, if she brings it up that is. As long as she doesn't continue to act like a b-tch, proceed as you normally would.

This advice defeats the whole purpose. Why should I contact her and play along with her game? That's what she wants me to do. She wants me to call and text to give me the run around. I'm not going to chase her. If she wants to get back in contact with me, then she can. I broke the first date and rescheduled. Now it's her turn to do that. To be honest, her attitude turned me off. If she's into playing these games even before a date, imagine what she does normally.

Women, especially of the westernized variety are used to being in the driver's seat in relationships or at least pulling the strings, at all times. This probably threw her for a loop and pissed her off. It's to be expected.

Do not apologize. Do not behave in anyway like what you did was wrong. In other words, maintain congruency. This was nothing more than a sh-t test. If she's too far gone, let her go. That's the whole point of spinning plates, don't let these guys throw you off your game.

I don't intend to apologize. I did nothing wrong. I'm not going to listen to obvious bad advice. Thanks for your feedback.

 

[skinnyguy]

You dumb azz she was interested an you blew it

 

[El Payaso]

rascal99v, ignore these replies. You're doing great. Just ignore her message and focus on other girls. She will probably send you another message soon trying to correct what she said. If she doesn't, still great. At least you avoided a girl who will get all moody and pi$$y just because you canceled a simple plan. She has already shown you her true colors. Imagine down the line, what it would be like in a relationship with her.

By responding or apologizing for the flake, you will be buying into her frame and becoming a supplicate to her. You want to avoid this at all costs.

 

[om1xr]

You have some terrible responses!

Best thing to do is letting her reestablish contact first!

 

[Bwana]

She was invested in you. She wanted you and was not sure if your excuse was real and wanted to work out in her mind what happened. I would not have apologized but would have said that work pays the bills and requires much of your time. If she would like to get together the next time you would go on a night that you know work would not become a conflict. You would have gotten Laid.

 

[rascal99v]

You would have gotten Laid.

:crazy: Dude, did you not read anything at all? I did get laid. That's why I flaked on this chick. :crackup:

I would not have apologized.

When did I apologize to her? I never did. She should apologize to me for that text.

If she would like to get together the next time you would go on a night that you know work would not become a conflict.

:crazy: What do you think I did when we rescheduled another date? She's the one who flaked on me. You really need to pay more attention to what you read. :yes: How did you make it through school?

You dumb azz she was interested an you blew it

I'm a dumb azz for getting laid? LOL :crackup: What if I actually had to work? Would that make any difference to how she is acting? It's her behavior that's the problem, not what I did. You sound like one for your lame comment :yes:

You have some terrible responses!

Best thing to do is letting her reestablish contact first

I agree that they are. Most of them are terrible. A couple are so-so. One is good. I've decided that this chick is out. I'm not going to play any of her games.

Whoa. I definetly wasn't expecting the responses you got. Damn Lol.

The guys who are obviously not getting laid will always give the worst responses.

Anyways, I'm cosigning on G_Govan you did everything right and reacted to that disrespectful message appropriately too. The next move is wait it out (2-3 days) and if she doesn't hit you up, shoot a text completely oblivious of that stupid sh1t she messaged you trying to set up a meetup. She doesn't respond ? oh well her loss.

Why would you want me to text her again? Pretending to ignore a text that I received is pretty lame. She knows that I got it. So, by me waiting a few days to text her again would be playing right into her hands. Would it not? :yes:

I don't need to text her or schedule another meet up. I'm done with her.

And for future reference, don't lie on a flake. Tell that b1tch you can't make it cause' "some **** came up" no need for an explanation or an elaborate lie. "Can't make it, let's reschedule " if she inquires more ignore it. You don't owe anybody an explanation for why you, a man, make any decision.

Technically, I wasn't lying. I worked a hour later than I was supposed to. so, I just stretched it by a few extra hours.

That little line she texted was a sh1t test. To see if you'd supplicate. You passed and I'd say its highly likely she'll hit you up later on.

She can test another guy. I'm not going to play any games with her. She is irrelevant. Why should I give my time to someone like that? I got a number this afternoon and I'm going out this weekend too.

She knowns what's going on and that you're lying about your work schedule (as you say, she has probably done the same thing to guys more than once). I don't blame you for making the choice that you've made but I also don't blame her for changing her mind about meeting you. Though it was a little passive aggressive of her to pretend that she still wanted to see you only to flake last minute. She should have just gone NC.

Yeah she should have, but to me it's a blessing in disguise. At least I found out the type of person she is before I went out with her.

rascal99v, ignore these replies. You're doing great. Just ignore her message and focus on other girls. She will probably send you another message soon trying to correct what she said. If she doesn't, still great. At least you avoided a girl who will get all moody and pi$$y just because you canceled a simple plan. She has already shown you her true colors. Imagine down the line, what it would be like in a relationship with her.

By responding or apologizing for the flake, you will be buying into her frame and becoming a supplicate to her. You want to avoid this at all costs.

Dude, that's what I've been trying to tell these guys. I don't get why they're all jumping on my case about it. I'll always take the better offer any day. I met this chick once. And after we talked she gave me her number. We talked once on the phone and then she called me back. Then I set up the date. I called her back to cancel and then she called me back. Then besides the couple of texts that's all I know of her. So why would I pass up a lay for a chick I don't know that well? That would be stupid. The comments that I'm reading is even more stupid. Some guys want me to text her back and ignore her text. That's not going to happen. Sure ain't going to apologize either. I did nothing wrong.

I decided that this chick is out. I'm not going to waste my time on someone like her. I haven't decided though if I'll text her "to get lost" if she texts me again. Maybe I'll just ignore it like the last. A relationship with her would be more mind games. I don't need that. She probably never had a guy cancel a date before. So she resorted to play some stupid game. I'm not going to play it.

Thanks for your comments man. I appreciate it.