Girl Doesn't Initate Contact

[Weezy]

Yo..

So I've been with girl for 5 months now, and all things considered she is dope. Doesn't get emotional. Is down to have lots of sex. Lets me do what I want, not clingy. Funny, good at talking ****.

The only thing is is that she hardly every initiates anything. She responds promptly when I text or call to ask her out. Is always a lot of fun. Talks about our future together, etc.

But I'm always making the effort and it's wearing me out. Is this something to just accept or should I bring it up to her? Seems needy to me, but somethings gotta give.

 

[Falcon25]

Maybe you should "disappear" one of these days, and see how long till she breaks. If she doesn't, then you know you are one of two or three in her life. Have you ever thought of being alone for maybe three days? Hmmm.....

 

[Falcon25]

Oh, and if you bring this up to her, she will get rid of you in less than two weeks. This IS YOUR PROBLEM, NOT HER'S.

 

[DJDamage]

But I'm always making the effort and it's wearing me out.

Maybe she prefers it this way, some women feel comfortable letting the man plan everything and they just show up.

If this is the least of your worries, then I wouldn't sweat it because it sounds to me as if she has high interest in you.

 

[st_99]

Sounds like she doesn't because she doesn't have to, I guess you spoiled her a bit. I suppose the only thing you can do to break the habit is call her less and see what happens.

 

[Warrior74]

Give her a bit of drama and go ghost for a while.

 

[Warrior74]

Give her a bit of drama and go ghost for a while.

 

[Weezy]

Maybe she prefers it this way, some women feel comfortable letting the man plan everything and they just show up.

If this is the least of your worries, then I wouldn't sweat it because it sounds to me as if she has high interest in you.

Gonna try and put it outta my mind so it doesn't bother me until I get some type of disrespect from her.

As long as she responds when I contact, humps when I wanna hump, and doesn't bring any drama to the relationship, I can sacrifice doing the initiating.

Thanks

 

[Johnnyventana]

Definitely puts her in the 'power' position though. I agree however, you can't bring it up. Then it becomes a game of 'who contacts whom first.' Ghey.

 

[J Roc]

You've got it made bro. You hit her up when you feel like hanging out. Atleast you dont have a clingy chick blow up your phone all day long to talk about nothing.

 

[Cozmo]

This type of girl tends to fade if you don't somehow force her to chase. Be interesting. She's probably a good one judging by her behavior.

 

[Colossus]

I've been with girls like this and it does wear you down.

In my experience women usually want you to do the planning and initiating when it comes to going out and doing things. I'm fine with it, as long as she's offering some ideas and doing a little research of her own. With sex it's a little different. There is nothing more of a drag than having to initiate sex every.single.time. It just shows lack of interest and plain old laziness on her part.

With regards to your girl, she sounds interested, she just might be one of those girls who doesnt ever take the reigns. You either need to make peace with it or address it, I just dont think talking to her about it is a good idea. Then you place the power totally in her lap and I bet that things would unravel from there. Do a little test run of absence to see how it goes.

 

[Johnnyventana]

5 months and she doesn't initiate. Makes me think she has low self-esteem and is trying to cover it up. In other words, if you come to her, then she can feel good about herself. Else, she previously went over board with some dude, and is doing 180. I just get a feeling, that either way, something with her is amiss.

Since you care enough, to write here about it, clearly, it is an issue.

 

[squirrels]

The next 2 or 3 times you hang out with her, do everything normally...just don't initiate the sex-stuff past some kissing here and there.

Let her wonder a little bit.

"Going ghost" over something like this is a classic mistake by the rising DJ crew. It seems to make sense, but in many cases, the girl will assume you met someone else and get "ghost" herself. It's a bluff that if you get called, it's going to cost you.

 

[Jitterbug]

Is she like this with her friends or family? The sex part excluded, of course.

 

[mrRuckus]

I don't initiate stuff with some girls I date. The large reason is because they're well ahead of me on asking me to do stuff before I get around to doing it myself. She might have come to the expectation that you'll be contacting her soon enough anyway so she doesn't bother. It's exactly what I do. I get to the point that I'm waiting hours or overnight or just flat out ignoring calls and texts because they're initiating too much, too fast. Are you initiating contact with her on a daily basis? That personally drives me up the wall. I'm not Mr. Texter who wants to chit chat and hang out every day.

If they slowed down a bit and suddenly it's 5 days since they said something and it's out of the ordinary? Yeah, I'd probably take my cue and ask her to do something. But not if I never have to.