Girl contacted me after 5 weeks after she said "we were in different stages of our lives"

Rambo92

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We only went on two dates but there was huge sexual chemistry. Then she phoned me to say she really likes me and I make her happy but we're in different stages of our lives (she's 28 and I was 24 at the time).

So I just went with it and left it on a good note.

After 5 weeks she contacts me on the dating website we met saying "hey, how's it going?".

What does this mean and what should I do?

Thanks.
 

RangerMIke

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In my experience when chicks reach to to you, FOR ANY REASON, typically they are gauging to see if you are still interested. Something likely went backwards with he dude she is currently fvcking.

Try to make a date... as with everything the only way you know for sure. If she won't go out with you then you know it just her being friendly, but the odds are she wants to see what you want to do with this.
 

backseatjuan

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It means absolutely nothing. She was looking for men on website and saw your picture and decided to message you. Nothing to it.

You two at different places in your life because you are looking for sex and she is looking for something serious, she wants children and getting married.

You want her for something serious? Go for it man!
 

Juanto

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We only went on two dates but there was huge sexual chemistry. Then she phoned me to say she really likes me and I make her happy but we're in different stages of our lives (she's 28 and I was 24 at the time).

So I just went with it and left it on a good note.

After 5 weeks she contacts me on the dating website we met saying "hey, how's it going?".

What does this mean and what should I do?

Thanks.
Arrange a date, if she says yes escalate for the good stuff on the date, if she says no forget about her and give her no more attention
 

randalljohnson

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It means absolutely nothing. She was looking for men on website and saw your picture and decided to message you. Nothing to it.

You two at different places in your life because you are looking for sex and she is looking for something serious, she wants children and getting married.

You want her for something serious? Go for it man!
That's pure rubbish. She probably lost interest because of something he did or maybe there was another guy in the picture. Since he walked away, maybe something went south with the potential other guy and she's now gauging his interest again
 

dude99

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We only went on two dates but there was huge sexual chemistry. Then she phoned me to say she really likes me and I make her happy but we're in different stages of our lives (she's 28 and I was 24 at the time).

So I just went with it and left it on a good note.

After 5 weeks she contacts me on the dating website we met saying "hey, how's it going?".

What does this mean and what should I do?

Thanks.
She is looking for validation. She sugar coated the schit sandwich by telling you she likes you and you make her happy bla bla bla but she still ditched you. The end result was she wasn't interested but knew you were. So hence the sugar coating.
Now she is in a dry spell and wants to know she is still hot still sexy and still can get attention so she is hitting you up to give her some validation.

I would say "I've been good. What's up."

Feed her nothing do not ask her out and waste your time. Make her come to you.
 

Konada

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She is looking for validation. She sugar coated the schit sandwich by telling you she likes you and you make her happy bla bla bla but she still ditched you. The end result was she wasn't interested but knew you were. So hence the sugar coating.
Now she is in a dry spell and wants to know she is still hot still sexy and still can get attention so she is hitting you up to give her some validation.

I would say "I've been good. What's up."

Feed her nothing do not ask her out and waste your time. Make her come to you.
Respectfully disagree. This chick shouldn't take up any of his headspace and should be treated as such. OP should just ask her out and force an answer instead of wasting his time twiddling his thumbs waiting for her to bite.

Wondering why a girl contacts him is a waste of time and effort. Fire and forget.
 

El Payaso

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Delete and ignore. She's looking for attention and validation.

She was expecting you to grovel and beg when she turned you down.

Things likely didn't go as planned for her dating wise so she's going back through her old contacts to see if there's anyone she still has her hooks in.

Don't be a chump. Delete and ignore.
 
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nismo-4

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Something went wrong with the guy she felt was better than you. Maybe he dumped her. Now she's coming back to you to see if you'll accept your role as a beta orbiter. Make sure she knows you're not just gonna be friends. If she refuses, block her number.

Stop giving women so much attention.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

resilient

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Things likely didn't go as planned for her dating wise so she's going back through her old contacts to see if there's anyone she still has her hooks in.
Found his name in the rolodex:
 

AlphaNate

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Delete and ignore. She's looking for attention and validation.

She was expecting you to grovel and beg when she turned you down.

Things likely didn't go as planned for her dating wise so she's going back through her old contacts to see if there's anyone she still has her hooks in.

Don't be a chump. Delete and ignore.
This is the only right answer. Do exactly this, or risk shaking your own frame.
 

Rambo92

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It means absolutely nothing. She was looking for men on website and saw your picture and decided to message you. Nothing to it.

You two at different places in your life because you are looking for sex and she is looking for something serious, she wants children and getting married.

You want her for something serious? Go for it man!
I actually want something serious, like a relationship but she did mention she wanted to settle down and move into a bigger house and she was worried she would leave it too late. I'm not exactly where I am with my career yet and she wondered how I couldn't drive, although I am learning atm. But yeah, I'd want something serious, just not on her level.

I had a date tonight which I wasn't too keen on and I have one Saturday night and another Sunday as well as another with a 4th girl next Friday (maybe 5 when I text this other girl tomorrow).

So I'm wondering whether it's best to not reply knowing what she said to me ALREADY or whether to chance it and ask her out for a drink as she might be thinking she got that wrong? Then if she rejects, we know it's her being friendly and I can ignore and move on.
 

Rambo92

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That's pure rubbish. She probably lost interest because of something he did or maybe there was another guy in the picture. Since he walked away, maybe something went south with the potential other guy and she's now gauging his interest again
Possibly, I did think this. I mean it is on a dating website so..

I've heard excuses but hers seemed legit in her thinking, aka she has her career job whilst I'm in a job where I'm not earning much to afford a house and I'm not where I am with my career right now. She's been driving since 17 and she's now 28 whereas I'm 25 and I haven't passed my test. She could have her reasons but at the time, she seemed really emotional when she told me I made her happy, like she sounded disappointed over the phone.

Meh, worst that can happen is she rejects me again. Can't hurt to ask her out for a drink at least, I have dates with 4 other girls anyway lol.
 

Rambo92

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Something went wrong with the guy she felt was better than you. Maybe he dumped her. Now she's coming back to you to see if you'll accept your role as a beta orbiter. Make sure she knows you're not just gonna be friends. If she refuses, block her number.

Stop giving women so much attention.
I mostly let the women reach out to me on dating websites as well as texting. I only give attention back in a ratio of 1:1.
 

dude99

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Respectfully disagree. This chick shouldn't take up any of his headspace and should be treated as such. OP should just ask her out and force an answer instead of wasting his time twiddling his thumbs waiting for her to bite.

Wondering why a girl contacts him is a waste of time and effort. Fire and forget.
I am actually agreeing with you. What i meant was give her nothing. No attention no feeding her validation and basically moving on to other chicks. No time wasting. No head space at all because she blew her chance.
 
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