Girl complains I dont hit her up...never hits me up herself

[Saudi]

Whats up brothers?

Dealing with an interesting situation right now. Would love some wisdom.

Just over a month ago, my brother had a party in cottage country and his wife had a bunch of her friends come as well.

Long story short, chatted up a cute chick and ended up having sex with her on the first night, took her number down before leaving.

Texted her to meet up for drinks during the week when I got home. She agreed on the day I suggested but cancelled the day before and suggested the weekend to which I denied because I was busy.

Ended up asking her what her week was like, told me she was working all week. told her cool and went awol......Ended up meeting with my brother and his wife that Friday for drinks and low behold, shes there. We end up chatting and end up making out before going home and she suggests we meet up the following week.

We meet up at a patio by her work the following week, lots of kissing, touching...she suggests we go to her place....Im tired and drunk and have plans in the AM work so I deny, which seems to shock her....she texts me when she gets home and tells me she'll come by my hood next time

Hit her up a few days later to come by, she says her week is packed, suggests weekend

See her at my brothers house, kiss and chat but thats about it...she says "I like you" and gets into a car and leaves

Hit her next day for hungover booty call says shes tired. Tell her Thursday lets do drinks, she says Thursday doesnt work and thats the end of that

Heres the kicker though.

my brother calls me, basically yelling at me saying shes all pissy that im not hitting her up enough. hes saying shes questioning why im not re configuring on the times i dont hit her up and saying shes interested but im not doing enough (what she said to my sister in law)

the hell? I asked her out several times, made things physical every time and actually called her after banging her....she responds to all communication but NEVER initiates anything ever...I'm always the first caller

Set me straight guys....I can't possibly be wrong here....I think ive done more than enough.....Reason im so confused is theres so many positives when we actually see each other but so little initiative on her part I can't fully gauge her interest level

what do?

 

[marmel75]

You've got her hamster wheel spinning. Keep doing what you are doing.

The fact she is complaining and upset over it shows you are on her mind a lot...she is trying to figure out why you are not like all the other guys she has been around who act crazy about her.

Keep your frame and act aloof. Remember there is a huge difference between what women say they want and what they actually respond to.

 

[Saudi]

You've got her hamster wheel spinning. Keep doing what you are doing.

The fact she is complaining and upset over it shows you are on her mind a lot...she is trying to figure out why you are not like all the other guys she has been around who act crazy about her.

Keep your frame and act aloof. Remember there is a huge difference between what women say they want and what they actually respond to.

makes sense

then why does it seem so hard to get her ass out? she didnt even offer a counter offer last time i asked her to hang

she never ignores any texts but doesnt seem to eager...when ive actually seen her shes all warm and touchy feely with tons of signs of interest

dont get it. never seen a girl act so positive in person and so aloof herself via phone

 

[soden]

makes sense

then why does it seem so hard to get her ass out? she didnt even offer a counter offer last time i asked her to hang

she never ignores any texts but doesnt seem to eager...when ive actually seen her shes all warm and touchy feely with tons of signs of interest

dont get it. never seen a girl act so positive in person and so aloof herself via phone

My thoughts:
She never had to counteroffer to any guy. I am pretty sure, if you went NC on her, she will hit you up, but just keep doing what you are doing. Everythings fine.

 

[Thorninmyside]

She's used to being the one with a little mystery, and now that's you.

When they figure you out, they get bored, so keep being a mystery. Give a little here and there, but the push and pull is totally working so embrace it.

 

[Saudi]

She is frustrated - she has a script/plot in her mind that has always worked. Play hard to get, he chases. Deny the date - he gets thirstier, she gains power.

You are NOT following her script. Change NOTHING

was planning on hitting her up late next week, would have been the longest between talking/seeing eachother

bad move?

havent spoke since sunday....

 

[The411]

Whats up brothers?

Dealing with an interesting situation right now. Would love some wisdom.

Just over a month ago, my brother had a party in cottage country and his wife had a bunch of her friends come as well.

Long story short, chatted up a cute chick and ended up having sex with her on the first night, took her number down before leaving.

Texted her to meet up for drinks during the week when I got home. She agreed on the day I suggested but cancelled the day before and suggested the weekend to which I denied because I was busy.

Ended up asking her what her week was like, told me she was working all week. told her cool and went awol......Ended up meeting with my brother and his wife that Friday for drinks and low behold, shes there. We end up chatting and end up making out before going home and she suggests we meet up the following week.

We meet up at a patio by her work the following week, lots of kissing, touching...she suggests we go to her place....Im tired and drunk and have plans in the AM work so I deny, which seems to shock her....she texts me when she gets home and tells me she'll come by my hood next time

Hit her up a few days later to come by, she says her week is packed, suggests weekend

See her at my brothers house, kiss and chat but thats about it...she says "I like you" and gets into a car and leaves

Hit her next day for hungover booty call says shes tired. Tell her Thursday lets do drinks, she says Thursday doesnt work and thats the end of that

Heres the kicker though.

my brother calls me, basically yelling at me saying shes all pissy that im not hitting her up enough. hes saying shes questioning why im not re configuring on the times i dont hit her up and saying shes interested but im not doing enough (what she said to my sister in law)

the hell? I asked her out several times, made things physical every time and actually called her after banging her....she responds to all communication but NEVER initiates anything ever...I'm always the first caller

Set me straight guys....I can't possibly be wrong here....I think ive done more than enough.....Reason im so confused is theres so many positives when we actually see each other but so little initiative on her part I can't fully gauge her interest level

what do?

What others have said.

She is used to being chased and wants you to chase her so she has the upper hand. Regardless if things don't work out in the end. Do NOT chase her. It's driving her insane that you aren't acting like the rest.

The second you start chasing her and she starts or keeps playing hard to get or disappears. In her mind she's "winning" or "won" for her own insecure egos sake.

Just keep your cool. Never let them see you sweat or chase after these chicks like they expect every other thirsty dude to do or has done.

She'll most likely keep the nonsense up till she get's the "one up" of you starting to chase her more than the effort she's putting out. She'll keep throwing out bait, "complaining" to others, acting like she's really "into" you but a chick who really wants you isn't going to play kid nonsense. You have to be prepared to lose this chick and not give a damn. NEVER CHASE THEM.

Keep doing what you're doing and seeing other chicks, do not chase. Don't even bother texting her much, let her text you too first.

She may like you but it's her insecurities and previous dealings with thirsty dudes who have conditioned her to be the "prize" to be caught and "won" over. It's never worth it in the end.

Be confident, unaffected by her nonsense, and never get or seem upset. She's going to look for ANY waivering of that in you as a "power" grab.

Dismiss words she tells you in your mind with a smile and a grain of salt. No matter how "positive" they seem. In person or through text. She's throwing out bait and wants you to think she's "really" into you. It's fvcking up her head that you aren't falling for her nonsense.

She'll either stop the nonsense and words and do ACTION towards the both of you, or she'll take her L and move on to some other chump.

It doesn't matter if you've kissed, banged her, or she sweet talks you etc. Some chicks are extremely insecure and need some sort of "power" regardless. Don't be a puppet.

She may even eventually try to flip the guilt trip thing if nothing else is working. IE: I thought you were different and really liked me. I like a guy who wants to be with me or shows me he cares." etc. Don't fall for any guilt trip she may pull later on either.

She could even flip it on you behind your back later on if you DO chase her by dropping you and then acting "innoncent" to friends etc. saying "Oh he was too clingy". F' that. Don't be surprised at anything that could happen.

She's not the only one who has tried those laughable tactics and she won't be the last.

 

[Saudi]

What others have said.

She is used to being chased and wants you to chase her so she has the upper hand. Regardless if things don't work out in the end. Do NOT chase her. It's driving her insane that you aren't acting like the rest.

The second you start chasing her and she starts or keeps playing hard to get or disappears. In her mind she's "winning" or "won" for her own insecure egos sake.

Just keep your cool. Never let them see you sweat or chase after these chicks like they expect every other thirsty dude to do or has done.

She'll most likely keep the nonsense up till she get's the "one up" of you starting to chase her more than the effort she's putting out. She'll keep throwing out bait, "complaining" to others, acting like she's really "into" you but a chick who really wants you isn't going to play kid nonsense. You have to be prepared to lose this chick and not give a damn. NEVER CHASE THEM.

Keep doing what you're doing and seeing other chicks, do not chase. Don't even bother texting her much, let her text you too first.

She may like you but it's her insecurities and previous dealings with thirsty dudes who have conditioned her to be the "prize" to be caught and "won" over. It's never worth it in the end.

Be confident, unaffected by her nonsense, and never get or seem upset. She's going to look for ANY waivering of that in you as a "power" grab.

Dismiss words she tells you in your mind with a smile and a grain of salt. No matter how "positive" they seem. In person or through text. She's throwing out bait and wants you to think she's "really" into you. It's fvcking up her head that you aren't falling for her nonsense.

She'll either stop the nonsense and words and do ACTION towards the both of you, or she'll take her L and move on to some other chump.

It doesn't matter if you've kissed, banged her, or she sweet talks you etc. Some chicks are extremely insecure and need some sort of "power" regardless. Don't be a puppet.

She may even eventually try to flip the guilt trip thing if nothing else is working. IE: I thought you were different and really liked me. I like a guy who wants to be with me or shows me he cares." etc. Don't fall for any guilt trip she may pull later on either.

She could even flip it on you behind your back later on if you DO chase her by dropping you and then acting "innoncent" to friends etc. saying "Oh he was too clingy". F' that. Don't be surprised at anything that could happen.

She's not the only one who has tried those laughable tactics and she won't be the last.

I completely get what you're saying. But I've dealt with girls like this in past and they either have caved by this point or disappear forever if I don't initiate.. Again I don't care but seems like losing even one more lay just for pride seems silly

I don't care what she thinks I just want an occasional booty call on the role ex and she's especially cute to me.. Am I really supposed to never hit her up again? What do I gain

Like whole reason I'm even asking about this chick is I wanna keep her as an option

 

[marmel75]

I completely get what you're saying. But I've dealt with girls like this in past and they either have caved by this point or disappear forever if I don't initiate.. Again I don't care but seems like losing even one more lay just for pride seems silly

I don't care what she thinks I just want an occasional booty call on the role ex and she's especially cute to me.. Am I really supposed to never hit her up again? What do I gain

Like whole reason I'm even asking about this chick is I wanna keep her as an option

Do exactly what you've been doing...its driving her crazy and she is thinking about you a lot

 

[The411]

I completely get what you're saying. But I've dealt with girls like this in past and they either have caved by this point or disappear forever if I don't initiate.. Again I don't care but seems like losing even one more lay just for pride seems silly

I don't care what she thinks I just want an occasional booty call on the role ex and she's especially cute to me.. Am I really supposed to never hit her up again? What do I gain

Like whole reason I'm even asking about this chick is I wanna keep her as an option

I'm not saying never hit her up again. Just don't fall into a chasing role.

 

[stevo]

Another thing I noticed is you're always the one picking days, I've gone that route and got burned and it felt like I was desperate and chasing when all I wanted was a fcuking meetup but I kept choosing days that didn't work for her so she kept flaking or saying no and some of these girls are not smart enough to counter offer.

This is what I do now. Ask her when would work for her? Let her give you a day, if she doesn't show up or flake then place her on the back burner and partially forget about her.

For right now if you guess are in NC zone, you've hit her up too much already, let it ride out. If you run into each other or she hits you up then use the above logic to know when to meet and make sure you fcuk her that day, if it's her place, yours or in the car, even if you're being sworn in as president of your firm the next day, no excuses

 

[GS750]

Sounds like you've got her right where you want her. Nice work.