Girl coming on too strong!

[Matt Rogers]

I have got a rather AFC chick after me at the moment, and it is really hard to know what to do. She is 28 years old (8 years older) and from the numerous recent pictures she has sent me very pretty.

Brief background: We met on an internet dating site and after a brief chat on MSN messanger she unsolicited gave me her home phone number and mobile number and begged me to call her. We talked for a while and then I said i had stuff to do and was going out later and she said she was going out clubbing but would send me some drunken texts. She sent me quite a few texts and i felt it would be rude not to respond so i sent a reply and she kept on sending more and we ended up exchanging around 10 texts. Then she comes back and gives me a call admittedly a bit drunk but very flirty.

I want to somehow cool things off so she has the gift of missing me and so that she isn't certain how interested i am, without appearing rude and disinterested. Any ideas how best to achieve? With no contact with her I would only call her once or twice a week, but unfortunately whenever i go on msn messanger she says hello and i wouldn't be surprised if she didn't keep texting me regularly.

Getting a bit of a red flag at this high interest level from the word go and desperate behaviour. Sure I am cute, and in good shape and make her laugh a lot, but that is no reason for her to throw herself at me.

 

[Luveno]

These types are very odd. Having someone cling onto you so quickly should put up the red flag instantly.

Does she have any kids? If so she may be looking for a 'daddy'. Avoid this.
Perhaps she's got something wrong with her like she smells bad or something. My suggestion is to meet this girl downtown and go on a casual date to a martini bar or whatnot. Talk to her and get to know who she is.

I have had the same experience as you, except when I did I was a mondo AFC. It was when I first discovered Doc Loves site. I used his advice to draw in a pretty cute chick I met on the internet. Turns out that she was a single mom who was missing a few screws in the head. We fooled around and stuff but she got all strange when I told her I didn't want anything to do with her anymore: ie threatening to kill herself etc.
So, be weary of these instantly enamored types.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Tell her "I'd like you to slow things down a bit, I want to enjoy this."

It'll let her know how you feel and drive her IL up even higher however she won't be able to do anything about it because you want her to slow down, thus making her even MORE interested... Vicious little cycle, isn't it...

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I hate it when they do that.All attraction is lost on my part once they just start begging for it & desperation kicks on.Hold off a lil longer and you'll see that female ego come around. All of a sudden you'll be "ugly" or "gay". That's sh!t is fvcking emasculating and I don't know why women do that.

Now I'mma man imagine how women feel,they get that sh!t everyday,all-day.

Imagine that sh!t!

That's why you gotta cut off the desperation cuz alot of times the women like you and be attracted but you just won't leave her the fvk alone and it gets sick.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I gently told her that I was busy for the next few weeks and she was distracting me from my work and social life, and i only let girls do that when they are my girlfriend , and would try and give her the odd text message and say hello when i am online and if she is good and doesn't text me all the time I may give her a phone call.

There may be some surprises in the future, but given that she is basically volunteering to drive down and meet me at my uni (even saying she will try and rearrange her times to do the weekend i am free) it is not much of a hassle for me. We have talked on the phone and she is so sweet and makes me laugh and i don't get any kind of psycho vibe. It is possible she is just very enamoured with me: I make her laugh a lot and am a good flirt, and she has a thing for blond, tall, muscular men.

One thing though; she says she is a size 12, 5 foot 3 and around 135 lbs. Now I know she is voloptuos and that is a turn on, but her pictures may be flattering. Is 135lbs and a size 12 on the plump side, or do you think in flesh it would just be sexy in a curvy sort of way?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Her height and weight is on the edge of being overweight on the Body Mass Index (BMI). Understand that a size 12 is a 34' waist. That's not too bad if a woman is at least 5'7 but think about it at her height. None the less, don't sweat it if you don't mind a zaftig woman.

 

[cave dweller]

lie?

Hey,

Don't lie to her or play games.
Don't lead her on.

I told one the other day that we were just friends and that is all that it would ever be.

BTW, screen them close if you meet them on the 'web'.

cave dweller

 

[Matt Rogers]

Good points cave dweller. I am trying to make it clear to her that I am impressed by her so far, but to know if we have any chemistry I would have to meet her, but feel we could be good friends regardless.

Fransisco, I do like women on the curvy, voloptuos side-they are cuddly and she does have lovely bouncy breasts, but am having trouble visualising what a 5 foot 3 girl who is size 12 looks like? She has a very pretty face and doesn't look fat facially.

I guess I will only know for sure when i meet her, but sorta curiouss. Will try and get her to send some full body shots.

 

[Matt Rogers]

I told her that I was out every evening this week and couldn't chat, but i would give her a call when i am less busy. She has eased off a little bit but still sends me at least one text a day, more if I reply. We have had a few phone conversations and she is really sweet and flirty. Her pictures are good, although they do tend to be face pictures. She is not a single mum as far as I know as she goes out a fair bit and works a 8 hour day, and lives with a friend.

My main issue at the moment is that she seems too keen: I have received around 40 text messages over around 5 days, and plus I don't really know how her body looks like. I don't mind girls on the curvy side, but she is a bit heavy for her height. Guess I will only know when I meet her, so when I am less busy and have a free weekend I will arrange something.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Her height and weight is on the edge of being overweight on the Body Mass Index (BMI). Understand that a size 12 is a 34' waist. That's not too bad if a woman is at least 5'7 but think about it at her height. None the less, don't sweat it if you don't mind a zaftig woman.

You can't go by weight and clothes size on determining if a woman is "overweight". This is something men never seem able to "get". Weight distribution on women is far different than it is on men. A size 12 doesn't mean a 34' waist, either. A woman with size 12 hips can easily have a size 8 waist. I know this because I've always had the curvy hips. When I was in highschool I had about a 26 to 27 inch waist, was heavy into sports and was very toned and firm everywhere. But my hips were always very curvy and even when I am in perfect shape I have to wear a size 10 just because of the curves. It has always driven me nuts because there is always this huge extra gap in the waist of my jeans.

Although it's true that you can pretty much tell if a man is overweight based on height, weight and pant size...you can't really do that with a woman. Anything from size 14 down can be worn by a woman in perfect shape for her body frame. Once you get over size 14 there will usually always be some level of weight issues ranging from being a tiny bit on the plump side on up to obese. A woman's hip size (widest part of her body) is what determines the size of her jeans, NOT her waist size. For men, hips and waist essentially go down into a straight line...not so with women. Men tend to forget about this little fact when assessing a woman's height, weight and dress size. You really shouldn't because those things are almost always misleading.

 

[SheepSter]

Funny how a thread on a girl coming on too strong, which by itself is pretty interesting. Turns into a feminine weight discussion, that totally is utter crap. Only thing you have to do is take her for a dance in some club. And feel if she's to fat. Simple uh.

O before I forget. In highschool I was heavy into sports and was very toned and firm everywhere. But my butt was way to curvy. You should have seen it, Jlo would be jealous. Because of this I had about a 43 to 44 inch waist. Still the rest of my body was perfect. Fortunitly I found a girl that wasn't happy with the size of her breasts. I got a nice butt and she now has FF.