Girl Cancels Second Time

[EpsilonArmati]

I got a girl's number; we'll call her Amy. Amy shows signs of high interest level, with physical reactions (stroking hair, etc.). Amy would be a 6.5 or 7 in my books. She doesn't seem too special though, but maybe my standards are abnormally high. In any case,

1. Amy called me up and told me that she could not make the date because she "just found out that she had a ton of schoolwork to do that's due tomorrow". She offered to do it another day. I reschedule us for Sunday (tomorrow).

2. Amy calls up tonight, after I already reserved seats for us at the school play, telling me, verbatim: "Hi [Epsilon], it's Amy; I'm calling because my mom's boyfriend just died, and so I'm driving home to Atlanta in about an hour after I pack my stuff to help her. Um, yeah, so I'm not going to be here tomorrow. I'm sorry that this is the second time that this happened, but I didn't have control over this. Alright, I hope you have a good weekend, and I'm see you after break (thanksgiving break). Bye."

Though the excuse is probably valid, I don't feel that she deserves me calling her back just yet, even though she's probably still packing. She hasn't fulfilled her part of the fair bargain, and I'm just wondering what you guys would advise me to do after Thanksgiving Break, when I'll see her again. I'd like some examples of tactfully insisting that she make up for cancelling twice.

 

[jakeyboy]

wait till she calls you back, don't initiate contact with her first, this will let you see if she still has high interest level in you to call you back.

when she does (if she does)

and wonders if you guys can get together, tell her that she'd better find some excellent way to make it up to you for cancelling on you twice. (say it jokingly but meaning it at the same time)

this shows her you were tolerant of her flakiness twice... but she'd better make up for it real good if she ever hopes to see you again.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by EpsilonArmati
I got a girl's number; we'll call her Amy. Amy shows signs of high interest level, with physical reactions (stroking hair, etc.). Amy would be a 6.5 or 7 in my books. She doesn't seem too special though, but maybe my standards are abnormally high. In any case,

1. Amy called me up and told me that she could not make the date because she "just found out that she had a ton of schoolwork to do that's due tomorrow". She offered to do it another day. I reschedule us for Sunday (tomorrow).

2. Amy calls up tonight, after I already reserved seats for us at the school play, telling me, verbatim: "Hi [Epsilon], it's Amy; I'm calling because my mom's boyfriend just died, and so I'm driving home to Atlanta in about an hour after I pack my stuff to help her. Um, yeah, so I'm not going to be here tomorrow. I'm sorry that this is the second time that this happened, but I didn't have control over this. Alright, I hope you have a good weekend, and I'm see you after break (thanksgiving break). Bye."

Though the excuse is probably valid, I don't feel that she deserves me calling her back just yet, even though she's probably still packing. She hasn't fulfilled her part of the fair bargain, and I'm just wondering what you guys would advise me to do after Thanksgiving Break, when I'll see her again. I'd like some examples of tactfully insisting that she make up for cancelling twice.

She can make up for it by not wasting your time any more. Because it sounds like that's all she's doing. Excuse #1 is a classic BS excuse...and don't tell me it's coincidence her mom's boyfriend just DIED on the night of your second attempt.

I'd say just don't speak to her again, and if SHE calls YOU, which she should if she's interested and has any kind of decency, then pick up where you left off.

Either way...I'd be looking elsewhere, whether it works out or not.

 

[Ricky]

I hate flakey behavior. I'm getting it now too from a girl.

I hate giving up also.

I would play it by ear. Telling her that she needs to make it up to you is a good thing to do.

Alot of people will caution you against being persistent and alot will tell you to NEXT.

Nexting a girl is the easy way out. Make the girls life hell for cancelling on you. There has been more than a few times where I thought about calling and reaming the girl over the phone. Maybe she will learn oneday. Alot of times however, women can justify just about anytype of bad behavior.

"Make no excuses, take no ****"

 

[tactic]

SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU.

 

[Ricky]

Bull**** Tactic. There are plenty of girls who are just so selfish that they think it's perfectly acceptable to cancel out at the last minute.

And there are plenty of AFC guys that will tolerate flaky behavior.

She may not like him, but she may. Either way her behavior is unacceptable.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

NEXT

 

[EpsilonArmati]

Thanks for the replies, guys. I searched for a situation like this, but couldn't find any hits. Keep the opinions coming; other people may find it useful in the future too.

In regards to the schoolwork thing, she may or may not have actually been busy, but she did counteroffer, so that's a sign.

In any case, I appreciate the input. The plan is to let her handle making it up now; if she doesn't do anything, it's her loss. I'll post an update when the situation progresses, for history's sake.