Girl brings a list of wrongs

[00Kevin]

Actually, when a woman makes a list of imperfections then this tells you that she really digs you and thinks you would be perfect if you just worked on these certain areas...she sees you as a mate with marriage potential!!!

now you understand why I'm keeping my distance .

It isn't as if I really care that she has her little list.. Infact I'm glad there is one.

 

[Last Man Standing]

now you understand why I'm keeping my distance .

It isn't as if I really care that she has her little list.. Infact I'm glad there is one.

Some dudes here took offense for her having a "list" but women naturally do this mentally - she just verbalized it to you!! This is not a condemnation of you but rather it should be taken for what it is - as flattery!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Some dudes here took offense for her having a "list" but women naturally do this mentally - she just verbalized it to you!! This is not a condemnation of you but rather it should be taken for what it is - as flattery!!

I agree that women keep lists but this was WAY beyond typical. Maybe if she included a list of good things too. It just seems like bad news that she made an extra effort to focus on things which she thought was negative. I mean think about it, is she going to put pen to paper whenever she has grievances? Will she sit and stew if she's upset about something until she can add it to her list of other problems? :crazy:

 

[Last Man Standing]

Francisco, humans tend to verbalize only things that they disagree with, meaning that we, as humans, agree and are in accord with most of each other's need, desires and traits, since we all share the same desires, wants, and attributes commonly assigned to humanity, and so it is only our preferences, that the other interested party does not possess, that we tend to verbalize to bring that "one" closer to our own preferential state of being!!!

 

[Derek Flint]

I would have pointed to the door and told her that no one is forcing her to be here.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Francisco, humans tend to verbalize only things that they disagree with, meaning that we, as humans, agree and are in accord with most of each other's need, desires and traits, since we all share the same desires, wants, and attributes commonly assigned to humanity, and so it is only our preferences, that the other interested party does not possess, that we tend to verbalize to bring that "one" closer to our own preferential state of being!!!

That's definitely something to consider. None the less, I'd like to see how well it's received if a guy comes to a woman with a list. Oh yeah... They're called "pre-nups!"

 

[Last Man Standing]

That's definitely something to consider. None the less, I'd like to see how well it's received if a guy comes to a woman with a list. Oh yeah... They're called "pre-nups!"

I don't think a guy ever came up with a "list" - I'm sure the perverted homo has done such because he has become like the female!! But you are correct - on the male side it is called a "pre-nuptial agreement" prior to marriage!!!!!

It has been said, and rightly so, that the female wants to change the male from the onset of courtship until marriage but the male wants the female to stay the same as the day when he had met her throughout his marriage!!

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Chicks will always have a list. Most of the time they will just let little parts of it out over time, small things. A big long written-down list is another thing entirely (lol).

A man should listen to her verbal "list" and be objective and if there are a few things he can improve on, he should try to do it.

Most of the things on the lists, however, are complete BS where the girl is just asking you to supplicate and be a wimp. You should tell her you are man and you are not going to leave the toilet seat down.

The biggest problem is chicks whose lists never get any shorter. The problem is the chicks who can't leave it alone when you tell them the toilet seat is going to be where it is going to be. The problem is the chicks who are never satisfied and keep adding more garbage onto their lists.

The Nagging b1tches never get any better and you should strike them off your list.

 

[WaterTiger]

She actually pulled out a list and started reading it????

You should have said :"You don't like my attitude? Well you really ain't gonna like this." As you shove her out the door.:moon:

I admit that I make the same kind of list, those little "I wish he'd do such and such". But I'm not so nurotically controling as to write it down and show him! That was incredibly rude on her part.

She might have brought one or two things to your attention tactfully. But if the list was very long, I'd start to wonder why I was with a guy that I had to change so much to be happy with.

 

[nvictor]

00Kevin, she really cares for you.

Francisco, as a DJs I don't prevent myself from what women read. I read everything about relationship to gather much opinions as I can. And yes all this reminds me of a book I've read. The languages of love. And this is exactly what the author suggest to couple with problem. Do the list. But both have to do it.

00Kevin, I'm not saying to you must do a list. That's a choice you have to make. But this girl want something that will work. Because according to the book, rare are the relationships that work. So you have to make it work by yourself.

Another funny thing. The book says the more you wait to get a long term relationship, the less you will have one. And the more divorce you make, the less you'll get your marriage to work.

 

[00Kevin]

There are some of you that are taking great offence to this list. I really don't understand that. For me, I don't care about it and I'm thankfull that this girl took the time to do something that was logical. It helped her realize what I was saying to her all along - that we are not a match for anything long term.

But yeah.. she did pull out a small scrap of paper with several points on it. She was mostly upset with my point of view on things.

The joke was that I provided arguments against those points on her list. They were very convincing arguments and she didn't listen. She was just upset that I wouldn't change to see things her way. Quite frankly she never even tried to provide a good rebuttal so I wasn't that impressed.

If you find the right person there will not ever be a list of rights and wrongs.

 

[00Kevin]

She might have brought one or two things to your attention tactfully. But if the list was very long, I'd start to wonder why I was with a guy that I had to change so much to be happy with.

Why do women feel the need to bring things to my attention? I don't ever feel the need to do that to a woman. All I do is find out what she thinks and I double check them. If they don't match up to what I want then I move on. It is that simple. Why should you expect anyone to say, "oh you are right?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Francisco, as a DJs I don't prevent myself from what women read. I read everything about relationship to gather much opinions as I can. And yes all this reminds me of a book I've read. The languages of love. And this is exactly what the author suggest to couple with problem. Do the list. But both have to do it...

Dr. Harville Hendrix has also written a couple of books suggesting that troubled couples share the problems that they had been harboring for years in an attempt to level set the relationship. It's done together with both partners coming together prepared for the exchange. One partner isn't blindsided with a list out of the blue.

What people are understanding isn't that there was an issue, or even a couple of issues. It was several that she had been sitting on, stewing about it, letting it fester and then to come out with a full list. Perhaps if it was an established relationship with history and a mutual commitment but her method of presentation at this state should constitute a yellow flag. The question isn't whether or not she cares about him, it's about how she shows it.