girl breaks no contact (need some input!)

[thorwynn]

@bigneil: what did you mean by this can you please elaborate more on this, can you give me an example

"call her bluff and say something more risky as if you don't care if you offend her. Then wait her out and she'll spill the beans on her feelings."

 

[bigneil]

thorwynn, I am referring to a phenomenon for which I coined the term "dump echo".

When a girl has feelings for you and they dissipate, there is an echo effect where she comes back for some reason, but she is seeking to make her decision final by gathering some evidence that she was "right".

I've observed this almost without fail with every girl who has ever left me - that about a week later they come back but I inevitably say the wrong thing (or she says I did). In my most recent case I got the jealous outburst from my other current thread.

For example on what to say, say something like "Go away" or "You are hurting your chances" or "I consider you a good friend". She say "forget it then" but if you don't apologize and be willing to walk she'll usually come forward with an explanation on why she contacted you (unresolved issues). This can be an opportunity to work things out for makeup sex.

 

[perseverance]

girl A asked for no contact for a week since sunday, to make up her damn mind. but she broke up with me on facebook this tuesday. i removed her from my friends, just that and she immediately messaged me, and i didnt reply. yesterday she messaged me again during noontime, again i didnt reply. i was already dating another girl (B) during that time til 9pm in the evening, we got too drunk so i went home, and at the same time i was messaging a different girl (C) when i got back. well while i was sleeping girl A suddenly messages me twice; i received the messages 12:45AM i read it when i wokeup suddenly by 3AM. again i didnt reply.

Am I doing things correctly guys? what are your thoughts on this?

This sounds like so much unnecessary drama, if there is one thing you can't complain about, it's being bored.

Girl A is a total moron and should be ignored indefinitely.

Girl B seems promising, continue with that and as for Girl C, keep plugging away with that.

 

[Credos]

Sounds to me like you want one of us to say: "stop the no contact, it's time to score". Why else would you post this much and keep asking for opinions...

Clearly the girl has you where she wants you. However by maintaining no contact she doesn't know that. That's about all for the good part...

The thing is, this girl will alwayse abuse you by using lies like "her ex" and "her parents". Time to see the truth, if a girl really wants you no ex nor parent would stop her... You're trying to see the good in this girl but the fact of the matter is, there ain't nothing good about her. Your "gut" is telling you that right now, you however aren't listening to your "gut" but to your shlort...

Get over it man, it's not gonna work out. If you really are the kinda guy that alwayse wants the last word, then you can still tell her this in a none rude way (being rude about it is just acting like a douche + afc): that you wish her the best but think it's better for both of you not to see each other anymore. End contact forever after that and in doing so save yourself from alot of drama.

Good luck and all the best mate

 

[AlexDP]

thorwynn, I am referring to a phenomenon for which I coined the term "dump echo".

When a girl has feelings for you and they dissipate, there is an echo effect where she comes back for some reason, but she is seeking to make her decision final by gathering some evidence that she was "right".

I've observed this almost without fail with every girl who has ever left me - that about a week later they come back but I inevitably say the wrong thing (or she says I did). In my most recent case I got the jealous outburst from my other current thread.

For example on what to say, say something like "Go away" or "You are hurting your chances" or "I consider you a good friend". She say "forget it then" but if you don't apologize and be willing to walk she'll usually come forward with an explanation on why she contacted you (unresolved issues). This can be an opportunity to work things out for makeup sex.

You know what? I actually agree with you. I've witnessed this as well. It's not just girls who do it though, men do it as well. It's as if people question their own decisions and just want to check whether they really did make the right choice.

 

[GhengisT]

BigNeil's given you some pretty good advice. I think everybody here has.

As for girl A- drop her like it's hawt. END OF STORY. I'd make her work for 6-12 months before even considering a reconciliation. NC, no frendzies, no make-up sex.

Besides, do you really want all that religious mumbo-jumbo in your life? Yeah, I believe in a higher power, but my time here is precious, and I don't think he'd want me wasting it on doing anything other than making myself happy.

My dad always told me: "son, don't put your **** in anything you couldn't live with"

Not to be harsh but WTF! Why are you seeking our validation to contact this braud? It sounds like you're going to do it anyway, so just f***in do it already, get your heart trampled & tell us how it turns out when you didn't listen to us!

I'm tired of seeing your thread at the top of the board.

As for getting the flirting started & early relationship, but not be able to keep her- you have much to learn. You've got the lover aspect down, but not the provider (that's what women seek for LTR). That is in fact the hardest part of becoming a DJ. You have to be a balance of both lover & provider. We'll make one out of you yet. But I think that implies you need to work on yourself more. Get a good career, buy a car, move out of your parents, etc.

 

[thorwynn]

wait, i almost forgot, i want to get back 2 of my personal books that i let her borrow last march (my dad gave them to me when i was in high school thats why those were important)

her last msg to me last thursday night: "i miss you but i need to control my emotions "

i didnt reply to this, and she didnt msg me anymore after that.but i want to have my books back.

can you guys think of any good scenario for this? i wanna make her regret her decision when i get the chance to get those books back. and like what ghengist said, i wanna make her work for almost a year before i consider a reconciliation. apologies for my english

 

[Gray The Prince]

Thorwynn, just keep ignoring her, you're surprisingly doing everything right.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Whenever a girl asks for no contact or needs to "think about things", a man should always completely agree and proactively end the relationship in a friendly way. Never ever allow yourself to get dumped.

If you don't turn the tables immediately in a situation like that you are headed for the city dump, even if you temporarily get back together. A woman's hand must be forced else her meandering mind will cause all sorts of strife and uncertainty.

OP, it's good that you've remained NC. Keep it up. All she's doing right now is trying to resolve things in her mind and make her decisions "ok".

I think that when a girl brings up matters of faith and has concerns about it, it's game over and you should leave her alone. It will not resolve... it's too deep.

Everything about her right now is just her wanting to feel better about herself. Let her go and get back to fishing.

Listen to bigneil... he's absolutely right. There is far more in his post than meets the eye.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Just go to her house and get back your books in person. If she's like "I msg'd u n u never replied" just be like "yeah, I was doing a lot of soul-searching, I just felt I needed to communicate to god instead of you for a while".

Haha bro, turn her game back around on her.

And then try to steal her v-plates.

That wld b fun.

 

[thorwynn]

whats wrong with this girl. out of nowhere she msgs me with a long random bible quote with a message from god after 4 days of trying not to contact me. then a friend of mine said she tweeted about me saying "i miss *thorwynn* anyway he doesnt care about...ahh, nevermind "

still i am not contacting her. dated another girl just this evening.

 

[perseverance]

whats wrong with this girl. out of nowhere she msgs me with a long random bible quote with a message from god after 4 days of trying not to contact me. then a friend of mine said she tweeted about me saying "i miss *thorwynn* anyway he doesnt care about...ahh, nevermind "

still i am not contacting her. dated another girl just this evening.

Well done, sir!

Let this AW get her attention from some other chump.

 

[bigneil]

You know what? I actually agree with you. I've witnessed this as well. It's not just girls who do it though, men do it as well. It's as if people question their own decisions and just want to check whether they really did make the right choice.

That's funny because earlier I secretly agreed with your post about (not) grinding.

Whenever a girl asks for no contact or needs to "think about things", a man should always completely agree and proactively end the relationship in a friendly way. Never ever allow yourself to get dumped.

If you don't turn the tables immediately in a situation like that you are headed for the city dump, even if you temporarily get back together. A woman's hand must be forced else her meandering mind will cause all sorts of strife and uncertainty.

Yes, when I sensed a previous girl was about to dump me (on the way back from a hotel trip) it was by her subtle use of sub-sentences such as "If you drive fast like this I won't go out with you anymore" (I won't go out with you anymore). Contrast this to when she was writing things like "Are you loving the rain as much as I am?" (I am loving you).

A woman will ALWAYS provide tons of clues by the particular words she uses/texts.

Even if she puts a NOT in there.

If she writes "I do not think you are the most attractive man in the world" (you are the most attractive man in the world) it's better than "you're ugly" (you're ugly).

Or "It's not my boyfriend." (it's my boyfriend).

When she communicates she can't help but use words that are fresh on her mind, which tells you what she is really thinking.

Carlos Xuma refers to our having to be a detective with the clues a woman provides. He also says "Make her decision final when she wants space". But by the time it reaches that point, you missed a bunch of signs.

 

[thorwynn]

whats wrong with this girl. out of nowhere she msgs me with a long random bible quote with a message from god after 4 days of trying not to contact me. then a friend of mine said she tweeted about me saying "i miss *thorwynn* anyway he doesnt care about...ahh, nevermind "

still i am not contacting her. dated another girl just this evening.

I almost forgot. her bestfriend even tried to add me up last sunday, hehe. i didnt confirm. what about my books? ill be leaving for the united states in a couple of weeks.

 

[Thatfeel21]

That's funny because earlier I secretly agreed with your post about (not) grinding.


Yes, when I sensed a previous girl was about to dump me (on the way back from a hotel trip) it was by her subtle use of sub-sentences such as "If you drive fast like this I won't go out with you anymore" (I won't go out with you anymore). Contrast this to when she was writing things like "Are you loving the rain as much as I am?" (I am loving you).

A woman will ALWAYS provide tons of clues by the particular words she uses/texts.

Even if she puts a NOT in there.

If she writes "I do not think you are the most attractive man in the world" (you are the most attractive man in the world) it's better than "you're ugly" (you're ugly).

Or "It's not my boyfriend." (it's my boyfriend).

When she communicates she can't help but use words that are fresh on her mind, which tells you what she is really thinking.

Carlos Xuma refers to our having to be a detective with the clues a woman provides. He also says "Make her decision final when she wants space". But by the time it reaches that point, you missed a bunch of signs.

BigNeil, why are you ALWAYS quoting authors when giving advice? between that habit and your stripper addiction, your advice doesnt seem very plausible.

 

[thorwynn]

just an update. her girl bestfriend just msgd me right now asking when im gonna leave the country going back to the USA. i am supposed to go back in the US this month. i didnt know who's number was it, so i just asked "who's this?" well it turns out to be her friend (but i doubt if its really her), then she followed up again asking on when i'll leave. i didnt reply to that message yet. any thoughts on this? maintaining no contact 2 weeks already.