girl available or not

[Thedss]

i met this girl back in feb-march. put on some moves, asked for number etc. she wouldnt really budge, she said she had a boyfriend, we could be freidns or whatever but thats it...
we kept talking kind of off and on..
yesterday i messaged her just saying whats up, and i was at a club the last night, etc. she said, "why didnt you take me with you?" and sounded a lot different..
we agreed to meet up last night.. took her for dinner then to a party for a bit at a friends apt. It was a really nice dinner. I noticed a lot of chemistry between us, there were laughs. We talked about hanging out soon again, etc.
Finally walked her all the way home after an hour or so at the party..

however, no kiss on lips or holding hands.. We only did the kissing on the cheek thing. She invited me for hookah in a couple days, but said she would bring a friend and wanted me to meet her. I don't know what to think...

im mind ****ed

 

[TheCWord]

It will take a while to do it habitually but, when you catch yourself getting mind ****ed and trying to decipher her behaviour, try to think about yourself as the one she's chasing. If she is not putting in clear effort or sending mixed messages or bringing friends along you will start to distance yourself and, if she does in fact have interest, she'll start to chase and you've reset the frame.

I used to go out with girls and always think, "what can I do to get this girl to like me????" Now every time I'm dating a girl I think, "what can I do to drive this girl crazy (in a fun way)?"

Have fun, dude. I'm sure much more experienced DJs will weigh in with their thoughts as well.

 

[Thedss]

Thanks man .. Appreciate the thoughts. Any more would be appreciated.

 

[betheman]

i met this girl back in feb-march. put on some moves, asked for number etc. she wouldnt really budge, she said she had a boyfriend, we could be freidns or whatever but thats it...
we kept talking kind of off and on..
yesterday i messaged her just saying whats up, and i was at a club the last night, etc. she said, "why didnt you take me with you?" and sounded a lot different..
we agreed to meet up last night.. took her for dinner then to a party for a bit at a friends apt. It was a really nice dinner. I noticed a lot of chemistry between us, there were laughs. We talked about hanging out soon again, etc.
Finally walked her all the way home after an hour or so at the party..

however, no kiss on lips or holding hands.. We only did the kissing on the cheek thing. She invited me for hookah in a couple days, but said she would bring a friend and wanted me to meet her. I don't know what to think...

im mind ****ed

you will never make the first team with this one. you are option bcd or even e. when she wants a bit of attention or someone to go out with, she will get in touch, she is making sure you dont get her on your own.
I wouldnt contact her again, dead meat

 

[Who Dares Win]

As a general rule anytime a girl doesnt show clear interest in meeting you alone, confuse you or mindfvck you, it means that there is something wrong.

I'm sure at a gut level you know it, you know that in your past the girls which liked you didnt do anything to confuse you or piss you off, but you like this girl so you try to convince yourself that something can be done.

Do you really think that if she found you sexually attractive, she would bring a friend to make sure you have no chance to get intimate? man even telling you in advance to make sure you "done hope in it"?

 

[Thedss]

She invited me to go smoke hookah tonight with her and a girl friend. I called her to say I can't go... Sunday night have to get ready for the week. Told her I woul call her later in the week... She seemed smiling and interested over the phone. Did I play that right?

When should I call her? Maybe invite her out on Thursday with some friends?

 

[Thedss]

As a general rule anytime a girl doesnt show clear interest in meeting you alone, confuse you or mindfvck you, it means that there is something wrong.

I'm sure at a gut level you know it, you know that in your past the girls which liked you didnt do anything to confuse you or piss you off, but you like this girl so you try to convince yourself that something can be done.

Do you really think that if she found you sexually attractive, she would bring a friend to make sure you have no chance to get intimate? man even telling you in advance to make sure you "done hope in it"?

We had a date alone for dinner and I walked her home. There was chance to get intimate.

 

[VladPatton]

You are being too optimistic and not enough realistic. You should of threw the boyfriend statement back at her by stating that you aren't taking her anywhere with you because she has a boyfriend (as she said). Then stop texting, and she if she chases, and tries to convince you she is ready to date you. And I mean DATE not cutesy, friendly outings. I think she is playing you due to her being bored. Diminish your interest in her an see what she does. Start to gain back your control.

There is no mystery here. Her interest is low, and using you to just go out.

 

[JoeMarron]

Sigh..I long for the day when men stop chasing uninterested women. It would make the game so much easier for the rest of us.

 

[Thedss]

ok guys.. she is obviously not pleased with her boyfriend... why out of nowhere would she go out with me.

we had a really good evening. we made eye contact and i could tell she was looking into my eyes with something. how can you say there is "No interest?" She went on a 1 on 1 dinner date, and a party and walked around with me. The only thing i am concerned about is that she didnt hold my hand on the walk back or make out with me. When we arrived at her place, she said something along of the lines of "thanks for the great evening, it was really fun and it was great to see you. lets do it again".. then she went on kiss for cheek. ( Look, it
She invited me to smoke hookah with her and a friend the next day.. i called her and said i cant go.

it is a confusing situation and you can't simply say, "she isn't interested".

 

[JoeMarron]

You met her months ago. If she was really interested you guys would've fked by now and we wouldn't be having this conversation.

 

[Thedss]

Maybe she was more serious with her boyfriend months ago and something changed.. Think your looking at glass half empty

 

[Igetit!]

ok guys.. she is obviously not pleased with her boyfriend... why out of nowhere would she go out with me.

Dude,that's doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if she's "pleased" with him or not.

To me,the issue isn't her being happy with the Bf or not,the issue is that SHE STILL HAS a boyfriend. Look...

When you first asked her out/asked for her number,what did this chick do? She said,"I have a boyfriend,but we could be friends or whatever". So she FLAT OUT told you her status. Well you need to find out what her status is NOW.

Back then,there was no confusion....YOU KNEW she wasn't available. Now you're scratching your head wondering if she's available or not. You need to find out what her status is....is she a single woman looking to date,or some chick who's just upset with her boyfriend at the moment. If it's the latter,you need to STOP "hanging out" with her and taking her on these so called "dinner dates".


A HUGE SIGN to me was that there was no affection between you two when you went out,and no....we don't count the grandma "kiss on the cheek".

The lack of any physical affection (My guess) is cause she still has a boyfriend. Could also be cause you didn't make a move first. Without knowing what her status is,it's hard to tell. I'm assuming the BF though.


The chick obviously has an issue with going out (dating) with other guys while she has a boyfriend,so my question is,when you to "hung out",was it a date? I mean an official date.



When you took her to dinner and then to your friend's party,DID SHE KNOW is was supposed to be a date,or is that just what YOU'RE calling it? Did you officially ask her out,then take her to those places,or did you two just get together and go to dinner and the party?


Because if you're just taking her places WITHOUT knowing her status and WITHOUT officially asking her out (like you did in the beginning when she told you she had a boyfriend),you're probably headed for trouble.



Better get it straight....and SOON. Cause if not,you're going to end up in that "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" situation. You're taking her out to dinner and places NOW.....WITHOUT being her boyfriend or even technically dating. She's gonna want to keep it like this cause she's still free to see other people since you never said or did anything to make it official.

 

[Sonny Knight]

the boy is in love

he has to learn the hard way on this one

 

[plate's_empty]

i met this girl back in feb-march. put on some moves, asked for number etc. she wouldnt really budge, she said she had a boyfriend, we could be freidns or whatever but thats it...
we kept talking kind of off and on..
yesterday i messaged her just saying whats up, and i was at a club the last night, etc. she said, "why didnt you take me with you?" and sounded a lot different..
we agreed to meet up last night.. took her for dinner then to a party for a bit at a friends apt. It was a really nice dinner. I noticed a lot of chemistry between us, there were laughs. We talked about hanging out soon again, etc.
Finally walked her all the way home after an hour or so at the party..

however, no kiss on lips or holding hands.. We only did the kissing on the cheek thing. She invited me for hookah in a couple days, but said she would bring a friend and wanted me to meet her. I don't know what to think...

im mind ****ed

Go on the date, friend zone her then game the friend.

 

[VladPatton]

the boy is in love

he has to learn the hard way on this one

Yep, yep.

 

[Thedss]

Dude,that's doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if she's "pleased" with him or not.

To me,the issue isn't her being happy with the Bf or not,the issue is that SHE STILL HAS a boyfriend. Look...

When you first asked her out/asked for her number,what did this chick do? She said,"I have a boyfriend,but we could be friends or whatever". So she FLAT OUT told you her status. Well you need to find out what her status is NOW.

Back then,there was no confusion....YOU KNEW she wasn't available. Now you're scratching your head wondering if she's available or not. You need to find out what her status is....is she a single woman looking to date,or some chick who's just upset with her boyfriend at the moment. If it's the latter,you need to STOP "hanging out" with her and taking her on these so called "dinner dates".


A HUGE SIGN to me was that there was no affection between you two when you went out,and no....we don't count the grandma "kiss on the cheek".

The lack of any physical affection (My guess) is cause she still has a boyfriend. Could also be cause you didn't make a move first. Without knowing what her status is,it's hard to tell. I'm assuming the BF though.


The chick obviously has an issue with going out (dating) with other guys while she has a boyfriend,so my question is,when you to "hung out",was it a date? I mean an official date.



When you took her to dinner and then to your friend's party,DID SHE KNOW is was supposed to be a date,or is that just what YOU'RE calling it? Did you officially ask her out,then take her to those places,or did you two just get together and go to dinner and the party?


Because if you're just taking her places WITHOUT knowing her status and WITHOUT officially asking her out (like you did in the beginning when she told you she had a boyfriend),you're probably headed for trouble.



Better get it straight....and SOON. Cause if not,you're going to end up in that "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" situation. You're taking her out to dinner and places NOW.....WITHOUT being her boyfriend or even technically dating. She's gonna want to keep it like this cause she's still free to see other people since you never said or did anything to make it official.

Wow awesome post man. How do you suggest finding out her status? I'm honesty afraid to find out.. I feel if I ask it will make things awkward between us from now on. I want her to be wanting. Do you think gaming her friend would be the best move? Or should I call her later in the week and ask to go for some drinks .. Get her a lil drunk and see what happens?

 

[Thedss]

not in love, but just see me and her as a good match. she is nice girl. sorry for liking a girl.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

OP, i feel for you mate.
but you are acting like the religious people ( no offense to religious people). you have some wishful thinking, and ignore the reality, making up excuses and preparing your big disappointment.
the girl is obviously NOT very nice if she is "dating" you while she has a BF. red flag maybe, faithfulness is not her strong point.
and now you looking at the other forum members as the enemy because they do not confirm what you want to hear.
we all went through this situation, and it always ends in the same way. in the best case she will allow you to be her man servant, maybe she will even give you some "affection", and leave you when the first "jerk" comes along, maybe she will complain about him to you, but still be fvcking him.
my advice. cut your losses and next her. with a start like this, chances for you 2 to get together are like cola turning to red wine.
this is clearly the case when you see everything clearly, and everyone else sees it wrong. but then why asking on a forum?

 

[Alvafe]

Wow awesome post man. How do you suggest finding out her status? I'm honesty afraid to find out.. I feel if I ask it will make things awkward between us from now on. I want her to be wanting. Do you think gaming her friend would be the best move? Or should I call her later in the week and ask to go for some drinks .. Get her a lil drunk and see what happens?

if you really want to know ask her, if you want a little game, tell her like this, oh btw I did remember last night(or any time frame you like) you said you had a BF, so how its is going?

or jsut ignore the fact she could have a BF and close the deal, but ah you can't do that,right? because she don't want it?

if she want to bring a friend next tiem you asked her out you say to her only if her friend is cute and don't feel bad about being a 3rd wheel.

or do the best, drop her and move on