girl at gym

[joekerr31]

oh btw, the best first date idea that i use to really like was the drive in.

unfortuantely where i live there aren't any now. but drive in use to be perfect.

while she feels safe because lots of other people are around, its also intimate becuase its just the two of you.

and theres just something about the vibe at a drive in that leads to making out.

 

[aventurasarger]

ok i am 29 and working both in a residency and a private office. because of the residency i get to work at the campus gyms. i took out this one girl that works there and i found out on the first date that she was 21 turning 22 last week. we had fun on the first date just bsing over dinner at a campus restruant for 2 or 3 hours.

before the 2nd date she asked to postpone a day because her girlffriend was moving to spain and just called. i took her out the next day but had some other functions to attend and just included her. i picked her up after the deans holiday reception and a few drinks with the faculty afterwards. it wasnt anything major a just a few social drinks. anyway i took her downtown to say hello to some of my dads political friends. she was in way over her head but i didnt care. when we left she said she felt important just standing around. the judge recommended a resturant downtown and i ended up paying more for a dinner than i wished to on a 2nd date. anyway we then went and watch the football game over a pitcher of beer.

the body language was very open. the conversation was flowing and light and fun. eye contact good. i thought things were going very well. at some point a light switch flipped and her opinion of me went south some how.

at this point the only red flag was her lack of kino. i tried to hold her hand while sitting at the table. she didnt grasp my hand but didnt pull hers away or move it when i took my hand away. she ddint grasp it when i put it back either. i was sort of stymied on the kino at that point

anyway after her miller lite promo (yeah i know) she told me her girls would walk her home but she had a nice time and whatnot. asked me to text so she knew i got home safe. i didnt text. i saw her at the gym the next day. asked what shw was up to after work. i got ill call you if i go out.

didnt hear from her then or over break. i texted her merry christmas to which she responded merry xmas!!!!. two days later i sent her a happy b text. no response. i passed her outside the gym friday, although we were both on the phone, neither waved nor said hi. evidently i pissed her off at some point on the 2nd date.

my question is how do i play seeing her at the gym. polite hi? ignore her unless she says hi? something else. dont say go to another gym. that is not cool. i am not changing where i like to work out because of some girl. your thoughts...

I am new to this forum.I live in aventura (fl) very small town.
Because of my look and style(same as mystery just in better shape) I had women at the gym kino me and ggive me attention all the time until I started dating the hottest one who rreally hijacted my brain.We dated for a while then she just dumped me for not appearent reason.

my stupid reaction was leaving the gym.
I started reading various material(deangelo,mystery,strauss etc).

I got the game.She left me because I was:

1)too available
2)too needy

dude..did u try to hold her hand as a first kino attempt?

you need few IOIs before!!

My opinion:

Stay at that gym try to be sociable with other women(as many and as much as you can!)
.
Study some inner game(double induction.steve piccus and unstoppable confidence,ross jeffries)

if you really like that girl(like I still like the one I dated) use others as pivots if not around her ,around her friends.

she probably thinks you are too needy.show her you are changed.

if you get another chance with her

1)start with a more gradual kino escalation(read mystery method).Hand holding immplies some kind of commitment.
2)try to split everything!!!(drinks,movies etc)or you are going to be seen as a provider or worse as a friend(my worse mistake!!)
3)send heer some negs!!

Good luck and let me know if youu need any help

 

[drmeathead]

yeah ill just go back to doing whatever when i lift. she has/had a physical attraction to me. if i am not interested anymore that may spark her. if it doesnt oh well.

yeah our first date if you will was i met her out at a bar promo and talked with her for 10 min. second date she invited me to a 2nd promo. then i took her out for dinner afterwards. a simple 20 bucks for the whole meal.

the kino hmmm...i thought as we walked from the bar to the resturant she was holding her hand out wanting me to grasp it. i didnt. i let her hang for a little. then later i just put my hand on hers. maybe i creeped her out. i wasnt trying to. if i did too bad for her. but i agree on the IOIs.

as far as inner game...i think i am cool. i just get bored when i have nothing to do. i had to come into cover call. all my friends are away. my main job is on holiday break. i can only lift for two hours. i had nothing better to than sit and mull about her. normally id be like hmmm ok fine have a nice time being right about (whatever it is she thinks is "wrong" with me)

ill just spin other plates. i didnt break this one or burn any bridges with any overt communicate so its still a plate in the back of the cupboard. like i tell my kids on my little league team...if you want to come to baseball practice you will come to baseball practice. if you want to go to soccer practice you then go to soccer practice. just dont be upset when yuo come back to the baseball team and you are no longer on the first team.

 

[guru1000]

This plate is dead. Spin only high IL's.

 

[aventurasarger]

yeah ill just go back to doing whatever when i lift. she has/had a physical attraction to me. if i am not interested anymore that may spark her. if it doesnt oh well.

yeah our first date if you will was i met her out at a bar promo and talked with her for 10 min. second date she invited me to a 2nd promo. then i took her out for dinner afterwards. a simple 20 bucks for the whole meal.

the kino hmmm...i thought as we walked from the bar to the resturant she was holding her hand out wanting me to grasp it. i didnt. i let her hang for a little. then later i just put my hand on hers. maybe i creeped her out. i wasnt trying to. if i did too bad for her. but i agree on the IOIs.

as far as inner game...i think i am cool. i just get bored when i have nothing to do. i had to come into cover call. all my friends are away. my main job is on holiday break. i can only lift for two hours. i had nothing better to than sit and mull about her. normally id be like hmmm ok fine have a nice time being right about (whatever it is she thinks is "wrong" with me)

ill just spin other plates. i didnt break this one or burn any bridges with any overt communicate so its still a plate in the back of the cupboard. like i tell my kids on my little league team...if you want to come to baseball practice you will come to baseball practice. if you want to go to soccer practice you then go to soccer practice. just dont be upset when yuo come back to the baseball team and you are no longer on the first team.

instead of thinking about her just get some book(the game,the layguide,mystery method etc).
Pm me if u need to know whre to find them(if u know what I mean.... ).
we are in the same boat i guess

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She just turned 22 years old. That is what chicks that age usually do. She's a child. If she's attractive, she has many options. Too many for you to even worry about.

 

[drmeathead]

i know. i got other plates to spin. if she is even counted as a plate anymore? yeah she is too young. i am pretty sure i overwhelmed her. hell the night before and after our date she was probably at a kegger in the basement of some house and here i am taking her to meet big shots and to fancy dinners. i am pretty sure that fried her circuits. whatever like i said before i had **** to do. i did it. i brought her along for my ride. oh well next time.

 

[Mr. Me]

>> if I am not interested anymore that may spark her >>

>> if she is even counted as a plate anymore? >>

Distancing yourself works sometimes but only if the gal is still interested. Once they're not interested, it's over. It's like a switch gets turned off.

Guys that go back to disinterested women, 99% of the time, are getting back with women that maybe are bored or looking for a free meal or want to make another guy jealous or want to be seen out in public being worshiped or they're lonely or they have low self esteem and enjoy the ego stroke... it's always something, but it's not that they're really interested. So the guys get beat up again and again because the low interest women sends mixed messages and plays what looks like games.

I wouldn't consider her as a plate.

>> she was probably at a kegger in the basement of some house and here I am taking her to meet big shots and to fancy dinners. I am pretty sure that fried her circuits. >>

Don't shift the fault to her with these assumptions. Maybe it makes you feel better to do that, I understand, by knocking her down, but you know it was more likely a case of too much, too soon. Go slower, end the dates faster, be more reserved the next time, giving the gal the opportunity to miss you and chase you (and to gauge her interest) and see what happens.

 

[drmeathead]

i was not knocking her at all. i am just saying we are at two different points in life. she is a student. i am a young doctor. i took her out of her element. she did fine.

i think the biggest thing i did was not end the date fast enough. looking back i shouldnt have went to the promo and i shouldnt have asked to hang the next day.

two thinks on that note. one i was hell bent on dragging her around on my to do list as punishment for hanging out. i ended up having a good time and just was like whatever with the time. second on asking her out the next day. this is the first girl i took on a real date since my bpdexgf was told to hit the road. i need to remember being up my ass all the time from the word go isnt a good thing and it isnt expected of me by most sane people

 

[##17]

i was not knocking her at all. i am just saying we are at two different points in life. she is a student. i am a young doctor. i took her out of her element. she did fine.

i think the biggest thing i did was not end the date fast enough. looking back i shouldnt have went to the promo and i shouldnt have asked to hang the next day.

two thinks on that note. one i was hell bent on dragging her around on my to do list as punishment for hanging out. i ended up having a good time and just was like whatever with the time. second on asking her out the next day. this is the first girl i took on a real date since my bpdexgf was told to hit the road. i need to remember being up my ass all the time from the word go isnt a good thing and it isnt expected of me by most sane people

I'm not knocking you, drmeathead, because I think this is ALMOST UNIVERSAL for guys to do this: You're a DOCTOR who has (I'm assuming) worked extremely hard with his life to achieve what you have, and she is just a STUDENT who, even though she might be hard-working and smart and idealistic and whatnot, really hasn't done anything so far. And yet you were on here wondering why she wasn't into you. It's amazing how we guys give so much weight to how a woman sees us.

To hell with her...

 

[drmeathead]

yeah pretty much...pretty girls are a dime a dozen and they each all come with their own individual cute little quirks and stories. her loss.

 

[drmeathead]

i saw her at the gym today. i think threw the power balance back in my favor a little. i ended up walking directly in her direction down a hall way. it was just she and i. so i looked at her and said like i would to anyone else i knew.
hey whats up? how you doin? she replied ever so sweetly hey. im goooood and how are you? i said good. she started to say something else. i just kept going out the doorway to the water fountain.

i was as sweet as ever with my words with her but i wasnt stopping to chat. i wasnt interested. she had plenty of chances. i have plenty of other options. i win. she loses.

 

[drmeathead]

I slowly dialed it down with this girl to a hi-hi when i would see her at the gym then just started ignoring her then, for various reasons, stopped going to that gym altogether. So last night, I got a text from her letting me know that she is guest bartending on valentines day (tonight). would i be interested in coming to get drunk? she sent this at 130 in the morning. i was surprised as hell to get the text from her.

my response was i will see. later i asked her the time. she told me and i told her maybe as i live a block from that particular bar.

my first thoughts are how many guys got this text as my assumption is that she is trying to generate business for herself. my second thoughts are why the hell at 130 in the morning if she is trying to generate business for herself.

my plan is to perhaps go their with some of my boys. get some strong drinks, perhaps have another plate show up and carry on. she had her chance.