Girl asks to be slapped during sex

bigjohnson

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The title pretty much says it all.

A few months back I started seeing this new girl. She's slim, mid-20's, extremely pretty and great attitude. She knows I see other girls and her comment was "I'm gonna fight for you" which I thought was cute.

There is one strange thing.

She asks me to slap her face or body when she is getting off. I'm no head shrinker, but is this a sign of serious issues? My response is generally to slap her ass and/or step up the rough factor, and she really digs that. I'm OK with the rough sex and she doesn't ask to be slapped any more now that I just step it up without being asked, but ... something in the back of my mind is buzzing an alarm.

In every other aspect of life she's sweet, modest, almost shy. Is this just her letting her wild side free and that's it, or something deeper and more sinister? Other girls have let me see their inner *****, but slapping in the face was so unexpected. Maybe I'm over thinking it.

Suggestions?
 

MoveYourAss...

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My take:

As long as it's sexy, everything is fine ith me.

Slapping the face I find a bit unusual, too, but to each his own.

I like the dom stuff very much. ONLY this can be a bit boring, I also want some tantric stuff. Can be a different girl, though.

I recommend "Screw the roses, send me the thorns", very good book if you want to get deeper into it, and funny too.

But it comes with a prize, at times. Some girls get so overly devoted when you fulfill their "darkest" fantasies that you might loose respect. Happened to me once that I easily could have send her having sex with others for money. Once I realized I left immediately.

So enjoy the hightened awareness of the power rush, but be aware of the dark side. The job and responsibility you accept for that is to act for the good of both of you, and to drive her sexual extacy to unknown hights (and to enjoy that).
 

bukowski_merit

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well... she could have just had a lover like me in her past...

the last 2 girls - i've been with and parted ways with, both were FBs who lasted much longer than expected.... in talking to them about their current relationships they almost always tell me that they ask their bf's to be more like me in bed (they don't say it that way of course.) they'll say "call me a "?" while you're f'ing me", or "slap my face every once in a while", or "choke me" or "slam me against the wall, tie me up, take me!"....

this is essentially how i am with every woman i am with for the long-term... so you can bet that the reason she likes it so much is because some guy in her past did it to her and she LOVED it... ask her for more stuff... i bet she has a whole bag of taboo things she likes done to her... but don't ask her at dinner... ask her next time you're banging her... demand she tell you more!
 

Jaggs

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This is really quite normal.
My first ever girlfriend asked me to do this too, slap her right on the face.

In fact a few times I left some quite big marks.

A lot of chicks dig this ****.
 

KarmaSutra

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She's in her experimental stage. She is actively in search of her Father figure, though not in a parental schema.

An active Dominant in her life allows her the freedom to release her inhibitions and has authority to excuse any and all behaviour she may feel guilty sharing in any other situation.

Give her this gift of release and freedom by taking control.
 

Paintballguy

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Just as others have said, a lot of girls like stuff like that. Whether it be slapping their ass, pulling their hair, pinning them against the wall, etc... Girls are submissive creatures by nature.
 

Drewskie

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I have heard of a few girls who enjoy this type of behavior as well, one wanted to be choked, hard and serious. I have heard that in 99% of the cases, it's because of some prior abuse/ rape, etc... which is even more common if the girls are hotter. Sick, but true. I'm willing to bet if you find out the truth, there will have been some touchy touchy by uncle Bob or older brother's friend.
 

DonJuan11

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bigjohnson said:
Maybe I'm over thinking it.
Run with that. You are getting constantly laid by a hot young girl and you're complaining because she likes to be slapped across the face a few times? Man this site has really made everyone paranoid, even the guys who are having sex.

"She gives me sex but likes it a little rough, should I be worried?"
"She kisses me likes she wants to rip off my clothes, and puts her tongue in mouth for too long, is this a sign of trust issues?
"She makes alot of noise during sex like she is really enjoying it when I enter her, does this mean she's cheating on me?"
 

horaholic

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Drewskie said:
I have heard of a few girls who enjoy this type of behavior as well, one wanted to be choked, hard and serious. I have heard that in 99% of the cases, it's because of some prior abuse/ rape, etc... which is even more common if the girls are hotter. Sick, but true. I'm willing to bet if you find out the truth, there will have been some touchy touchy by uncle Bob or older brother's friend.
I disagree. Im sure that applies to SOME girls, but definately not 99%. Most sexual fantasies are acting out on what has been missing in some peoples lives.

Any dominatrix can tell you that a lot of their clients are powerful businessmen, that come to them because of secret desires to be ridiculed, and enslaved, and beaten. Many chicks who like it rough, are nothing more than spoiled brats who should've been slapped around when they were kids, and have an unconcious desired to be disciplined because they were coddled.
Im in no way implying this is why the OP's girl is the way she is, BTW.

My ex is an example. Rich, coddled, spoiled. She loved to be dominated. She loved when I would bite her to the point of her shoulders and arms being covered in bruises. People thought she was a battered wife sometimes, when I got done with her! All her life, she has been a full on OCD, and hardcore germaphobe, yet she absolutely loved giving me rimjobs. I wasnt incredibly into it, but she loved doing it. People like mixing taboo with sex.

In all fairness to Drewskie though, I suspect there is something bad from her childhood, she would never admit though.

I recently heard a story about a girl in my town who liked her guys to stick guns in her mouth while she came. Thats pretty disturbing. Can anyone here guess how she died?

People have fetishes. it may be wierd, but it isnt always an indicator of being fvcked in the head. Sometimes it is though. They can be used to validate childhood pain. Hell, if the chick wants to get slapped, slap her. just make sure not to leave marks, in case she is a crazy bytch, and tells the cops you beat her.
 

KarmaSutra

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horaholic said:
I disagree. Im sure that applies to SOME girls, but definately not 99%. Most sexual fantasies are acting out on what has been missing in some peoples lives.

Any dominatrix can tell you that a lot of their clients are powerful businessmen, that come to them because of secret desires to be ridiculed, and enslaved, and beaten. Many chicks who like it rough, are nothing more than spoiled brats who should've been slapped around when they were kids, and have an unconcious desired to be disciplined because they were coddled.
Im in no way implying this is why the OP's girl is the way she is, BTW.

My ex is an example. Rich, coddled, spoiled. She loved to be dominated. She loved when I would bite her to the point of her shoulders and arms being covered in bruises. People thought she was a battered wife sometimes, when I got done with her! All her life, she has been a full on OCD, and hardcore germaphobe, yet she absolutely loved giving me rimjobs. I wasnt incredibly into it, but she loved doing it. People like mixing taboo with sex.

In all fairness to Drewskie though, I suspect there is something bad from her childhood, she would never admit though.

I recently heard a story about a girl in my town who liked her guys to stick guns in her mouth while she came. Thats pretty disturbing. Can anyone here guess how she died?

People have fetishes. it may be wierd, but it isnt always an indicator of being fvcked in the head. Sometimes it is though. They can be used to validate childhood pain. Hell, if the chick wants to get slapped, slap her. just make sure not to leave marks, in case she is a crazy bytch, and tells the cops you beat her.
Very nice.

Hitler loved to be completely dominated by Eva Braun. In every way. Sexually he was a degenerate who relished being beaten and treated with extreme infantilism.

This is due to his being thrust into power but being completely powerless in his sexuality. He loathed homosexuality because he hated himself for being a closet anal wh0re. She put everything and the kitchen sink up his ass.
 

search1ng

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KarmaSutra said:
Very nice.

Hitler loved to be completely dominated by Eva Braun. In every way. Sexually he was a degenerate who relished being beaten and treated with extreme infantilism.

This is due to his being thrust into power but being completely powerless in his sexuality. He loathed homosexuality because he hated himself for being a closet anal wh0re. She put everything and the kitchen sink up his ass.
the fuck man?
 

Mavrick

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Show her something new. Try choking her during sex. I've had a couple of those that loved that sh!t.

Why not? That's all I have to ask.
 

Rounder

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This is not unusual. Slapping, spanking, hair pulling, choking...girls like all those things...don't be afraid of it, don't worry about it.

Get her to create a word that means STOP and if she says that word then EVERYTHING stops right then and there. Basically a panic word.

A girl I dated earlier this year liked things REALLY rough - essentially simulated non-consent type of stuff - our stop word was Poker.

Girl I'm seeing now loves hair pulling and getting spanked, a bit of slapping and a bit of my hands around her neck - her word is Yellow.

Don't be afraid to experiment and don't be so quick to assume that it means a girl is messed up either. Some people are more willing to try different things. If they can't have normal sex without those things THEN there may be a problem.
 

goodfoot

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horaholic said:
I recently heard a story about a girl in my town who liked her guys to stick guns in her mouth while she came. Thats pretty disturbing. Can anyone here guess how she died?
Lead poisoning?
 

horaholic

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goodfoot said:
Lead poisoning?
In a matter of speaking...

I tried to find the story online, with no luck. What I heard, was the gun was sold to the chick a year earlier, by a friend of mine, who is/was a drummer for a huge band in the 90's. He's a gun collector, and actually sold me one also. He was brought in for questioning, and released.

From what I understand, the guy that was fvcking her was facing murder charges, until other dudes testified that she had a gun in mouth fetish. It was her own fault. It was her gun, and she had it loaded. Maybe she wanted it to be loaded, IDK. Of course, the guy should have been a little smarter also, and at least kept his finger off the trigger. Maybe it wasnt an accident, either, who knows. Wierd story though.
 

bigjohnson

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Just to be clear, being dominant, pushing, flipping around, pulling, spanking etc are Standard Operating Procedures for me in this sort of situation, but I've never struck a woman across the FACE and it shocked me a little.


DonJuan11 said:
Run with that. You are getting constantly laid by a hot young girl and you're complaining because she likes to be slapped across the face a few times?
No, I'm concerned it's a sign she has some deep emotional issues. She's not that young either, she's 26 now so not a spring chicken. To be clear I'm getting laid by several hot young girls and in addition, her also. As much as it pains me to say it, she's actually the most fun overall despite her being a little older. She also has the prettiest face and I'm a sucker for the pretty face.



mr_elor said:
I fail to see the big shock, it's pretty standard community knowledge that women love to be dominated.
So in your mind domination requires physical violence?
 
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DonJuan11

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KarmaSutra said:
Hitler loved to be completely dominated by Eva Braun. In every way. Sexually he was a degenerate who relished being beaten and treated with extreme infantilism.

This is due to his being thrust into power but being completely powerless in his sexuality. He loathed homosexuality because he hated himself for being a closet anal wh0re. She put everything and the kitchen sink up his ass.
LOL. This site is funnier than most half hour sitcoms.

And to the OP, don't ruin a good thing. You are not going to marry the girl, so why care if its a sign deep emotional issues? Would you rather know she had no emotional issues and not have sex with her? Go with the flow, you are in better shape than 75% of the people on here.

 
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