Girl Acting Strange After I got her to pay half the rent

[iqqi]

If I was over my boyfriends house often, and he told me to pay half, and I agreed...

You would also see me showing up the next day with all of my boxes of stuff and all of my earthly possessions.

How are you going to make her pay half of the rent when she doesn't even live there? Lol. Being over all the time, and living there are two different things. Pay half the rent means she can move in officially. Her and her cat, and all of her clothes and shoes, so move over buddy and make some room. Approximately HALF of the apartment should be hers at that point! LMAO! Did you really think this through?

 

[backbreaker]

But iqqi the OP is saying that the gf basically lives at his place. He said all her stuff is there, and he mentioned that she got upset that he didn`t pay his share of groceries even though she doesnt pay any rent or utilities.

He also let her know that if she can`t pay her share of rent, she should move back to her mom`s. I can`t really blame him. I`d prob let my gf live at my place for free, especially if she gave great bl0wjobs, but if she would do things like complain over $20 for groceries meanwhile i`m paying thousands of dineros on rent, then yeah i`d probably have reacted the same way about asking her to pay her share.

again this is short term thinking.

you want the flexibity to "flex out" of the contract /living arrangement over her chipping in.. **** the size of the place is not going to get any smaller is she levaes and as he said she is paying for the cable and groceries.

her paying rent, makes things a lot more complicated. you can't up and leave or tell her to GO and now, she's pretty much expecting you to propose sooner rather than later

t me, that's not worth the 500-600 a month she might pay

 

[EastWind]

Point out that once you get married you will be entitled to half her money market savings, then step back and watch the sparks fly.

 

[zekko]

I wonder what the tax implications of this are? If I pay any rent to anybody, you can be damn sure I'm going to get a tax deduction out of it. If she claims half the rent on her taxes, doesn't that mean you can only claim half the rent now?

I'd rather she chip in by paying the electric bill or whatever.

 

[Boilermaker]

I don't think OP was seriously wanting her to pay up half the rent. It started with her shít tests. Ask for cable, bïtch about groceries because you pay a little more than OP, all the while she must be really grateful for the fact that OP is giving her a free pass from the misery of having to stay with parents, companionship and security and most importantly PAYING UP A FULL RENT.

Iqqi's argument is idiotic. So I don't live here "officially", but I don't pay any rent anywhere else either, yet, I spend 25 days here and buy groceries here, eat, shít and sleep here, ask for more cable channels, whine about you eating more Nutella, BUT you can't ask for rent, because I haven't yet brought all my shít that I have gathered over the years to your apartment! Oh yeah? La dolçe vita !

Typical chick logic, yeah, sis?

 

[Slickster]

So I guess everyone missed the follow up where Delly's gf said she thinks it is absolutely fair for her to be paying half???

 

[Zarky]

All older women...over age 25 seek security and resources above all things
this usually translates into a 3X salary ratio to a man
she is looking for that guy with a 5 series beamer, a paid house

That's silly. I gross $25,000 per year. Every woman I've dated in the past decade has made more money than I. I've dated chicks when I lived in my car and when I lived in my office.

Most of the over-25 chicks I've dated have paid more than their fair share. Of course I'm an expert negotiator, in my business and my relationships.

OP, you need to hold yourself in higher esteem and learn how to negotiate. Or you need to be able to screen out the gold-diggers right away. Seriously, life is all about negotiation, you've got to recognize when you're being taken advantage of at a very early point. Some guys don't even realize it during the early stages and by the time they do it's too late to do much about it.

I suggest you fine-tune your "I'm giving more than I'm getting" receptors so they flash red earlier.

 

[Burroughs]

That's silly. I gross $25,000 per year. Every woman I've dated in the past decade has made more money than I. I've dated chicks when I lived in my car and when I lived in my office.

Most of the over-25 chicks I've dated have paid more than their fair share. Of course I'm an expert negotiator, in my business and my relationships.

You are an 'expert' negotiator

and yet you GROSS 25,000 a YEAR.....

even 'mediocre' negotiators pull 200K a year

either you are a liar or a crackhead....or both

 

[backbreaker]

Okay,

I must admit i was half sleep when I read the OP but now after re reading it, I understand that the whole thing did not start just because she was over your house, but beucse she got pissy that you weren't paying her as much money as you were for food and she has to pay the food bill (and nothing else)


if that is the case, she can go die in a fire. 32 year old complaining about shacking up with a guy and all you have to do is buy food, exit stage left.


with that said, my stance on women splititng bills at all does not change; never buy more house, have more overhead that you can't compfrtably handle yourself. you dont' want to subject yoruself to having to depend on a woman.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I'm with BB here. I want my place to be MY place. If I want my space and don't want her around then I will pay for that. Unless you are considering marriage in the very near future I would keep your financial situations separate.

Absolutely concur.

Yesterday I saw a movie called "Vampire" very out there emo-garbage about a guy who lurks suicide chat rooms, fakes a double suicide, helps girls off themselves, and then takes their blood. There's tons of sick crap in that film, but for me, the absolute WORST was this:

psycho girl who the killer barely knows shows up unexpected at his house with a sack of groceries. She announces she came to cook him pasta.

He of course, being the emo psycho killer he is, LETS HER IN and ALLOWS HER TO SLOWLY TAKE OWNERSHIP OF HIS APARTMENT.

That shyte made me cringe.

I've always had a rule that my place is my place. I don't even like it when they answer the phone.

But that's just me. I've got my own issues.

As far as the OP goes, good thing you spoke up, otherwise she would have kept extending her reach, to see how far she could get.

On the other hand, now that she's paying half your rent, she might start to believe that she OWNS YOU.

Be careful.

 

[backbreaker]

This has absoutly nothing to do with how much money you have or make or how much game you have or any of this ****. this is something my dad taught me when i was still a teenager.


I dont' care how much she loves you. I don't care how game you have. I don't care how convenient it is. Until the words I do come out of your mouth, have your own ****. Have your own house, with it's own furniture,k your own bills, with your own damn food.

Frame is built around your finances. My dad, is not by any stretch a rich man. in fact financially he's the def. of working middle class. And my dad, when he did settle down did so with women who had ****. My last step mom who he just got a divorce from makes about 70k a year and had her own house and her house was like 5x closer to his job than his house was.

And while, he would spend 4-5 nights a week over her house when they were dating/engaged, he refused to move in. he refused to sale his house, which was to my benefit beucase at the time i was in high school and me and my friends would just set up shop at my dad's house all week lol and he didn't give a damn even when he was there. And on top of all this, my little brothers momma had pulled some bull **** and stole his SSN and bought some **** and he had to file for BK, and he was just getting it from all sides at this particular time in his life and i asked him dad.. what the **** man lol? Gina (my ex step mom) has a nice house you are over there all the time, it's 5 minutes from your job, I mean i like you house but damn dad lol. and he told me.


And he told me,backbreaker if you don't ever listen to anything i tell you about dating women (and i had not lol) listen to this.. keep your own **** from a woman until you know you are going to marry her. And by know i mean it's imminent

it may not seem like much and my dad liked being my dad. he lked to go to the clubs and **** even when he was dating her he like dto kick it with his friends he liked to go to the horse track and every time she woudl throw her foot down and try to raise ****, he would say you know what.. **** you i'm out. and he would go to the house he never went to and chill out and it reinforced the idea that.. yeah i have all this ****, but he doesn't need me and if i want him, i need to stop throwing temper tantrums

see, when a woman has you by the balls, she knows she can, and will act a fool. the guys here worried about the ****ing 300-500 dollars a month don't get it **** the money. this is frame 101.

for YOU (op) it's not AS bad because she would be moving with you. but what you still have to protect from is getting so comfy with her paying part of the bills, you take on more monthly overhead. you need to always be able to, at least utnil you are married, be able to cut her off at a drop of a dime if need be.


so by that accord, i would do everything in my power to get her not to pay. i want my Independence.


lol iqqi hit the nail on the head you know want that rent payment is? it's a deceleration of dependance. motherfvcker you now depend on me for sex, for money, for companionship, for entertainment for everything. when she pays the utilities, you might as well take your ass to zales right now at that point it's just a formality. now she pays the rent or event he utilities now she can give a **** where you were at midnight lastn ight, now she can give a **** whey you aren't answering her clals beucase now she's invested in you.

Mind you im' not saying women are evil or that they could not be trusted, I'm saying, understand fully what it is you are embarking on. beucase that's exactly what it is. you are signing over your dependance to her if you allow her to contribute

in other words, some of you guys are so hell ben ton trying to figure out if a girl likes you or not that you miss the entire rain forest. Look, a girl that likes you, regardless of her character defects or morals will happily pitch in to pay bills, not beucse she's a great girl but beucase she understands what the delcration of dependance is about. she knows what buying your ass groceries means. **** amber theg irl who lived with me would go buy groceries when i was hanging out with my friends... it's a woman's' way of marking her tettorty if you will.

what i am saying or trying to say.. i don't WANT you to pay my bills. I don't want the strings that come attached with you paying my bills or helping or pitching in, at least not until i'm ready to make that step

 

[Zarky]

You are an 'expert' negotiator

and yet you GROSS 25,000 a YEAR.....

even 'mediocre' negotiators pull 200K a year

either you are a liar or a crackhead....or both

LOL touche, you got me there.

 

[Slickster]

Unless you start making more money this relationship is most likely over

let me explain why

All older women...over age 25 seek security and resources above all things

provisioning

this usually translates into a 3X salary ratio to a man...ie a woman making 50K only feels secure with a guy making 150K.....anything less is viewed with contempt...because women believe they are entitled to multipliers of what they themselves can provide for themselves from a man...they have golden puzzies afterall.

Your girl is 32..her biological clock is ticking like a jackhammer...she is looking for that guy with a 5 series beamer, a paid house, and the willingness to give these things to her hassle free because she 'deserves' it.....she is NOT looking to pay for groceries or half the rent...she believes she is better than that.

Burroughs where do you live? Your world is so different than anything I have experienced.

 

[( . )( . )]

Burroughs where do you live? Your world is so different than anything I have experienced.

Yes because chicks with limited shelf lives never look to beta providers for resources and security .:crazy: Oh look there's a pixie dancing with a unicorn.

 

[Slickster]

Yes because chicks with limited shelf lives never look to beta providers for resources and security .:crazy: Oh look there's a pixie dancing with a unicorn.

No, I never said that. I'm not denying that gold diggers exist or that women are seeking men who can provide.

The notion that ALL older women (over 25) REQUIRE a man to make 3x what they earn otherwise they feel contempt, is absurd. I cannot come up with a single instance where this is the case. I do know of MANY happy couples where the woman makes more than the man, or their salaries are pretty much the same though. I have a huge social circle and I work directly with the 20 something crowd so don't try and tell me I'm out of touch with reality. Obviously it happens but this painting of every woman with the same brush has got to stop.

The feminist b!tches that seem to surround you everywhere you turn are no where to be seen from my perspective. If so, it is a very rare occurrence. When they are encountered they receive so little of my attention there is literally no time to build up the hatred that guys like you and Burroughs seem to carry. There are too many cool chicks and great people in general everywhere to be worrying about the odd feminazi freak that exists out there. This trip that you guys are on is bullsh!t. Life is too short and you are a mere molecule in a vast universe. Why are you choosing to focus on this negative crap? There is a great life going on here and you seem to be missing out. I ask the question where do you live as a reality check. Are you sure the matrix you think you've escaped hasn't been replaced by another? What color pill was that you swallowed? Is any of this making your life better? Are you really as enlightened as you think you are?

Back to the OP....

Delly, you were right to call your gf on this issue regarding finances. It was lame that she was b!tching about grocery bills but in woman-ese it probably translates to "why aren't we living together yet?" The fact that she's ok with pulling her weight rent wise emphasizes this. As you mentioned its probably time to sh!t or get off the pot. You laid down some ground rules and she's ok with them. That's a good sign.

Only you know where you are at in this relationship. If it is serious proceed with caution as always. If not, keep your own place yours. Tell her she doesn't have to buy groceries and she doesn't have to stay the night either.

 

[( . )( . )]

There are too many cool chicks and great people in general everywhere to be worrying about the odd feminazi freak that exists out there. This trip that you guys are on is bullsh!t.

femcvnts are irrelevant, the real dangers out there are the enabling mangina's blowing smoke up women's asses at every turn and subtley, sometimes overtly implying they can do no wrong. (not looking at anyone ).

I've made no secret about the absolute contempt I hold for guys of your ilk, I also hate to burst your bubble but with the advent of the internet (male safe spaces) growing at the speed they are, you mangina's who lets face it have only been in existence for 40 or so years in such high numbers are on the way out, thank fvck.

I'll say it again. Chicks are irrelevant, it's YOU and other kneecapping "men" like you who are the real scourge of Western civilization. I'm also guessing you don't spout this fem-centric shaming sh!t in public either, a man who wants the best future for his son/s would most likely run right over the top of you. Men who actually give a fvck about their offspring don't take to kindly to people like you fvcking with that idea. Bit of a tangent there I know but for some reason you strike me as one of those guys who doesn't sport the strongest of wrists if you get my meaning.

 

[iqqi]

But iqqi the OP is saying that the gf basically lives at his place. He said all her stuff is there, and he mentioned that she got upset that he didn`t pay his share of groceries even though she doesnt pay any rent or utilities.

Basically is not the same thing as officially. Unless any of you have ever officially lived with a woman then you do not know what this means. Having a drawer in your dresser is not the same thing as having to move your dresser over so you can fit hers lol. Or giving her half of the closet. Or not being able to say crap about her bringing her cat with her because now it is HER APARTMENT TOO.

That's the part you need to really understand. If she is paying half, then it is EQUALLY HERS. And do you really fully comprehend the implications of that?

 

[iqqi]

Those are all good points, however, they ignore the implication that is already set from her buying all of the food and then questioning why he isn't paying for half of it.

The two aren't really related. I know you think they are, but they are not. Buying food and making it are totally different then living together. Truth is she should just suck it up and buy the food since she is always staying there. I can see why she might be turned off by the fact that he has told her is not a provider. But the bottom line here is that OP thinks solution is for her to split the rent, and that is just a bad, bad call. Unless he is ready for her to move in, all the way. And all that it means.

Being mad at her for wanting him to pay for half of the food, is like being mad at her for wanting him to pay half of the check at a restaurant if they go out. Does he think she should be paying all the dates because she sleeps over all the time? Most likely she sleeps over all of the time because she lives with her parents, so it's not like he is going to come stay over there. A better solution would be to say "don't come over here so much, it's like you practically live here", and I bet that isn't even what he wants anyways and why her feelings are so hurt. It's like her choices are to stop coming over so much or pay half of his rent to keep sleeping over.

This is like midlevel dating and seriousness stuff. Paying rent and living together officially, is like all the way serious and a step before marriage.

 

[backbreaker]

iqqi i must say you are killing it today. could not have said it better myself. I mean WTF is she supposed to do lol? what is she seriously supposed to do? if she doesn't have her own place laying down that ultimatium is saying basically you have to pay half the rent for sleeping with me or GTFO. and that wouldn't even be the worst thing ever if he were saying attached to it, hey i want to take the next step but he isn't at least i think so.

so in a nutshell the ultimatium is pay half the rent and allow me to still be non committal to our long term future lol. WTF lol

 

[Slickster]

what is she supposed to do?

so in a nutshell the ultimatium is pay half the rent and allow me to still be non committal to our long term future lol. WTF lol

Well according to the crew here she should probably pay all the rent, all the bills, buy groceries, cook the meals, clean the house, suck his d!ck and fvck his brains out ten times a day. Follow that up with a massage, bath, dress him and get his place ready for when she goes back to her parents and his other girlfriends come over. And she better damn well be there in the morning first thing to make him breakfast!!!