Girl acting distant, then I read a flirty message from her ex.

[budisudaryo]

Sorry n00bpimp,

You are wrong about this ...

I agree that guys get too into the respect me or else stuff; however, when you feel the need to snoop the relationship is over and it has nothing to do with respect it has to do with trust. Even if there's nothing wrong (which is rarely the case because most guys don't snoop unless they suspect something. I say most because there are guys who are overly paranoid and will snoop on girld regardless) the relationship is now on rocky ground because the guy is now suspicious. So, even if the girl hasn't been talking to her ex or some other guy, you now will think she is at various times. At some point she'll pick up on your distrusting vibe and look elsewhere. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

First of all, I didn't snoop. It's not like I opened his profile and read his tweets. It's not under my control that his mention to her popped up on my timeline. And she's not the one who deleted it. Well, I don't know if you use Twitter or not but the only one who can delete a tweet is the poster (in this case, the ex). So if I ask her casually about this, the damage will be less than if I got the information by snooping.

OK, here's a fact that I just realized I must add: When we started dating, she asked to take it slow because she just broke up and she still felt guilty about her behavior that caused the breakup. She assured me though that she had no chemistry left for him. Well maybe it's my mistake to date a girl out of an LTR and this is the risk I got to face.

 

[Single4Life]

Hi guys,

I've been dating this girl for a few months. Lately she's been acting distant. I don't know why but I have a gut feeling that she's been talking to some other guy, probably her ex. One thing for sure, this ex still loved her when they broke up. Then, some days ago, I read my Twitter timeline and there's a new mention from him to my girl (I follow him because I know him), saying: "Sorry darl, my credit run out so I can't reply your text." The suspicious thing is, when I refresh the page a minute later, it's been deleted. OK now, is it enough proof for me to talk about this to her? I don't mean to accuse her, just saying something like, "So, you still talk to your ex, huh? Because I read this mention etc etc."

Thanks

Edit: Then I remember, some days before she started acting strange, I read my Twitter timeline and...

Dump her. She's a liar.

Save yourself the headache.

 

[budisudaryo]

well, what if we haven't made boundaries about exes? maybe now it's time to set it with her instead of just dumping her while she thinks I'm okay if she still talks with her ex casually?

 

[sinnerman]

leave her asap. anytime theres an ex lurking in the background the best thing to save your heart, mind and time is walk away without any explanations.

if she's going to go with him then it will save you lots of heartache and mental energy you put into analysing and keeping tabs on her.

if she's into you then she will go crazy about how you left without any explanations and come running back to you...and if she does then you communicate from a position of strength of how things are going to be if you two will be together..and the first thing : no communication with ex.

all the best and sorry abt your situation.

 

[The_411]

First of all, I didn't snoop. It's not like I opened his profile and read his tweets. It's not under my control that his mention to her popped up on my timeline. And she's not the one who deleted it. Well, I don't know if you use Twitter or not but the only one who can delete a tweet is the poster (in this case, the ex). So if I ask her casually about this, the damage will be less than if I got the information by snooping.

OK, here's a fact that I just realized I must add: When we started dating, she asked to take it slow because she just broke up and she still felt guilty about her behavior that caused the breakup. She assured me though that she had no chemistry left for him. Well maybe it's my mistake to date a girl out of an LTR and this is the risk I got to face.

Feh, I must be an old fogey because frankly I don't care for twitter facebook and all that jazz so I'll plead ignorance. My point still remains snooping or no when you get suspicious and begin to wonder if she's cheating then she's either cheating or thinking about it.

Women with ex baggage are never worth more than a casual relationship. It's only when they are divested from that previous relationship is there possibility for a new relationship to grow.

 

[Delly2000]

I say just move on.

Talking to an ex is really just a waste of time. For both parties. Took me awhile to realize this as I tried to keep in contact with a few of them...who really ended up just using me as they really had no feelings for me. But alas I was lost and let myself be used. I was to blame.

Usually when your gut tells you something is wrong. Something usually is. Don't listen to these guys that tell you to ignore it. Its ur sixth sense. If she proves she is untrustworthy just drop her now and save yourself the trouble of trying to rationalize why this or why that. She not a good one. Throw her back in the sea.

This isn't right but there was this one chick I slept with. She had a man. When he was calling she was out to dinner with me. And she just didn't pick up and said she would deal with it later. So the guy shows up to her house unannounced on another occasion as he had a gut feeling something was up and she broke up with him because he didn't give her enough "space" and didn't trust her. Basically she told him it was his fault. He had a right to be suspicious becuase she was doing dirty. He probably still thinks it is his fault to this day.

When I started taking her out on a few dates she started acting funny. So I knew something was up and just let it fade away.

Just drop her. She is wasting time that could be spent with a good girl.

 

[joverby]

You're not going to know. That's why people are telling you to go with your gut.

You can ask your girl directly, and yeah, it makes you weak. Plus you're not necessarily going to get the truth from her.So all you can do is go with your gut. She's acting distant. You're uncomfortable. That's enough for you to consider breaking things off.

I would be VERY hard pressed if ANYONE got the truth from a chick in this type of situation. Very hard pressed.

Which is indeed why what Iceberg said is solid advice.