Gifts in early stages of dating?

[manfrombelow]

Hi All,
Been working on this girl who I see a couple of times a week in the sauna at my local gym. She’s definitely interested, complimented me on my physique, made it clear she’s single.

1. Unless she's fvcked you at least a few times, NEVER assump a modern girl to be interested in you sexually and romantically.

We’ve lots in common,

2. "Having stuff in common" doesn't mean sh!t. Had you dated a good amount of women, you would have known this.

she’s early 40’s, never married no kids, which is rare for me to find in my area.

3. Commitment issue, perhaps?

Question is, it’s her birthday in a weeks time (a few days before mine). A book topic came up in our conversations, should I buy her a book as a small gift or is that a bit weird/needy?

4.You haven't fvcked her even once, she's not even your girlfriend, so any gift from you, no matter how small, 100% would come up as needy.

 

[manfrombelow]

Tell her you are gonna cook her dinner at your place, that her gift.

Perfect. I would like to add that, OP should communicate to her that they gonna cook together, not only himself doing all the work as if he's chef in a castle where she's the Queen. She hasn't done anything worthy of such level of treatment from OP.

 

[manfrombelow]

Thanks all, with a bit more delving. She’s got issues, found out she’s travelled around a lot lived in Spain for a few years then Australia, moved sround She was in AA 15 years ago - still attends the meetings. Works as a social worker so dealing with lots of other peoples problems.

Not sure whether to just bang for fun or avoid completely.

1. Women who travel a lot, for whatever reasons, are redflags most of the time.
2. You know you don't need to wed every single woman you fvck, don't you?

 

[Murk]

I'd book a spa day/weekend. Something that you will enjoy yourself. I don't know what your financial sitch is but that would be my go-to. Spa or even a lodge. Regardless of where this goes, you had a good time and a cool experience.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You aren't even dating and you want to buy her a gift? C'mon man. Why do you even remember it's her birthday? I've dated women for more than a year and I can barely remember what day their birthday is...I mean I remember the general timeframe down to like half a month but the actual day?

Stop trying to be her boyfriend before even asking her out.

 

[Toddy]

Update on sauna chick. We agreed to meet again in the gym today, with a coffee afterwards.
All went well in total we spent 3 hours together with sauna, coffee and a walk down the beach. Went really well she linked arms towards the end of the walk. I bottled going in for the kiss and just went for hug.
We’ve exchanged numbers with her asking for mine. We agreed to go out next Thursday night for a drink. I should bump in to her again on Thursday morning in the gym.
I’ve not had a message since the date, should I message her in a couple days to confirm? Definitely need to escalate to for the kiss.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Gifts, no gifts, forest for the trees. Maybe the main thing is the Lack of Abundance Mindset.

 

[Toddy]

Gifts, no gifts, forest for the trees. Maybe the main thing is the Lack of Abundance Mindset.

You’re right on that front, need to keep in mind the abundance mindset. I’m 6’4 and in great shape, earn decent money, need to remind myself of that. Need to work on my game though.

 

[Mertz09]

Update on sauna chick. We agreed to meet again in the gym today, with a coffee afterwards.
All went well in total we spent 3 hours together with sauna, coffee and a walk down the beach. Went really well she linked arms towards the end of the walk. I bottled going in for the kiss and just went for hug.
We’ve exchanged numbers with her asking for mine. We agreed to go out next Thursday night for a drink. I should bump in to her again on Thursday morning in the gym.
I’ve not had a message since the date, should I message her in a couple days to confirm? Definitely need to escalate to for the kiss.

If you are sure that you will see her at the gym on Thursday, then confirm when you see her there. If not, then I would wait to confirm with a text late on Wed. Make her wonder, add some mystery in her mind.