Ghosted by yet another woman, I don't get it.

[Robert28]

I can tell you personal stories... Men don’t always handle rejection well. It’s something as females we need to always think about.

Well that tells me they haven’t been rejected enough then. I’ve been rejected every way you can think of, but I learned from it and now I just laugh it off. I’ll take a flat out “no I won’t date you or give you my number!” over a “let’s be friends” deal anyways. One wastes my time, the other doesn’t. If you want to piss me off, friend zone me and then ask me why I ghosted you. You’ll hear cuss words you’ve never heard of before.lol

 

[sangheilios]

Would you invest $1,000 into a stock you know absolutely nothing about?

Why would a woman invest significant time into a man she doesn't even know?

It absolutely matters.

You're more likely to increase follow through when you are requesting an investment (of their time) that matches the levels of comfort you can establish beforehand.

Once you know how to do this, you can parlay smaller frames of time into much bigger ones. Many times all I needed was to get them to agree to meet me for 15 minutes for a very quick drink. Show them I'm fun and normal. That 15 minutes sometimes turns into a few hours. Sometimes that few hours turns into an entire night.... You don't have to swing for the fences as soon as you get a number.

What I'm saying is it's not so much the text that is the issue but building the comfort/rapport and proceeding at a level that is appropriate to the manner of which you meet said female.

For the future I'll try to set up something casual earlier on and not getting intense with scheduling and all that.

 

[sangheilios]

While I'm the farthest thing from an optimist/Pollyanna, I think you are focusing too much on the negatives here. I think there are good reasons to be optimistic going forward*.

You had some instant attraction, got a number close and some texting back and forth. This is like Edison testing a light-bulb filament that lights up for sixty seconds and then burns out. He's getting closer to finding a filament material that actually stays lit.

*Not with this chick, but with other ones.

I was just really frustrated last night, as I'm sick of the string of chronic failures, but after reading the posts on here this morning I'd agree with you.

My player friend even tells me that what I'm experiencing is normal, as I'm still learning and all that. I think he is just telling me that to be nice to me but I don't really know lol.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

So, first of all, you said you would be free later in the week that's TH/FR right? It is entirely possible she believes there's no need to text you right now, she'll text you later this week.

Texting her immediately the way you did was okay - " this is pizza dude" - but the next text made you look thirsty. You just met the woman, she's a legit stranger, and are giving her a rundown of your schedule and kinda apologizing for not being available.

IMO you should have done what she decided to do to you. Go silent, build the intensity and wonder. You should have waited a few days (because you were busy) and then texted and asked her out.

All is not lost. Do NOT text her. Wait and see if she texts you later this week. She may. She also might not. Since you left the ball in her court do not reach back out to her. You may have to drive a pizza to her again, just be cool, act as if nothing transpired.

Sangheilios, I've given you the same advice Sazc has above, several times. I told you to wait a few days to text a girl who's number you just got. I said this to you in response to a post you made many months ago. Your response was that you "didn't see an issue with texting someone so soon." Now you have more people saying the same thing, and I've seen multiple posts from you where you always text the girl the same day you meet her and start trying to chat her up over text, and then she ghosts. It's still up to you to try the advice.....

Second thing is that girls flake all the time. More girls will flake than won't. You're still getting really pissed off every time it happens yet your approach numbers are low. I congratulate you for asking this girl for her number, but you need to keep doing it and I'd say that a pizza delivery driver doesn't exactly paint an awesome first impression. Nothing wrong with it, and you have other things going that make it understandable why you'd do it, but it's probably not going to make any panties wet, so focus your approaches elsewhere.

Three things:
1. Stop texting them the same day like a guy who is absolutely dying of thirst. Wait a minimum of two days, then use the phone to set a date.
2. Do more approaches. And don't approach as a pizza delivery guy.
3. Stop getting so frustrated

 

[Mike32ct]

I was just really frustrated last night, as I'm sick of the string of chronic failures, but after reading the posts on here this morning I'd agree with you.

My player friend even tells me that what I'm experiencing is normal, as I'm still learning and all that. I think he is just telling me that to be nice to me but I don't really know lol.

Honestly, it is normal today. I used to let it get me down. I even started to EXPECT it and try to guess how short the shelf-life of a particular contact would be lol. But I don't recommend doing that. Today, I find it amusing at best or completely neutral at worst.

I'm not defending "ghosting," but plenty of women ARE legitimately attracted at first and then get "cold feet" for various reasons.

Savor your small "victories" in this game. It will keep you in a much better mindset meeting chicks going forward.

 

[sangheilios]

Sangheilios, I've given you the same advice Sazc has above, several times. I told you to wait a few days to text a girl who's number you just got. I said this to you in response to a post you made many months ago. Your response was that you "didn't see an issue with texting someone so soon." Now you have more people saying the same thing, and I've seen multiple posts from you where you always text the girl the same day you meet her and start trying to chat her up over text, and then she ghosts. It's still up to you to try the advice.....

Second thing is that girls flake all the time. More girls will flake than won't. You're still getting really pissed off every time it happens yet your approach numbers are low. I congratulate you for asking this girl for her number, but you need to keep doing it and I'd say that a pizza delivery driver doesn't exactly paint an awesome first impression. Nothing wrong with it, and you have other things going that make it understandable why you'd do it, but it's probably not going to make any panties wet, so focus your approaches elsewhere.

Three things:
1. Stop texting them the same day like a guy who is absolutely dying of thirst. Wait a minimum of two days, then use the phone to set a date.
2. Do more approaches. And don't approach as a pizza delivery guy.
3. Stop getting so frustrated

I think the issue really was more to do with the texting. I think saying hey this is xyz the delivery guy was fine, especially since she texted back immediately. However, looking back I should have held off on texting her about trying to schedule a date, especially in the manner of which I did it, as it came across as thirsty. Also, as another poster mentioned, I had an extremely brief interaction with this woman, who may have actually been attracted to me, so naturally she may feel a bit uneasy in regards to meeting up with a man she knows literally nothing about.

I don't make a habit of asking out women at my job, though I don't feel there is anything necessarily wrong with it. Also, I make much more money doing that job than I think some of you realize. It's honestly a really good side gig that I have going for me, I make pretty solid pay and I'm essentially doing my own thing most of the evening whilst working. I was there for about 5 1/2 hours last night and made $76 in tips, not including my wage at all. I live/deliver in a residential area with low traffic so cost of gas is pretty low.

 

[sazc]

You’re right, and i know it is something i need to work out. I said no maybe 5 times and he kept going. I would have walked away but i was throughly enjoying the band i was trying to listen to! lol. I started to get nervous the more aggressive he got but that’s on me. There was probably no real threat.

Next time I will be like “NO NUMBER FOR YOU NEXT!” I really need to. I am a people pleaser so that’s hard for me to do... But i agree with you!

As you will learn here, being a people pleaser along these lines creates men who feel led on by women and eventually end up on an internet forum classifying and labeling them.

Just be firm with your no and let him them call you a cold b1tch, or definite lesbian, for rejecting him and eventually, hopefully, he will leave

 

[17 shots]

You did the same thing with the woman at the gym, you tried to immediately plan a date with her right after you got her number. Women don't like feeling pressured. You didn't even give her time to finish eating her pizza before you were trying to plan stuff

 

[sangheilios]

You did the same thing with the woman at the gym, you tried to immediately plan a date with her right after you got her number. Women don't like feeling pressured. You didn't even give her time to finish eating her pizza before you were trying to plan stuff

You mean the attention ***** slut that approached me and asked ME out? lol

Anyway, I texted her when I got back in my car so she had my number but I didn't text for a date until after I had gone back to the store, picked up the next delivery and had finished that, so around 20 to 30 minutes.

 

[sazc]

I think the issue really was more to do with the texting. I think saying hey this is xyz the delivery guy was fine, especially since she texted back immediately. However, looking back I should have held off on texting her about trying to schedule a date, especially in the manner of which I did it, as it came across as thirsty. Also, as another poster mentioned, I had an extremely brief interaction with this woman, who may have actually been attracted to me, so naturally she may feel a bit uneasy in regards to meeting up with a man she knows literally nothing about.

I don't make a habit of asking out women at my job, though I don't feel there is anything necessarily wrong with it. Also, I make much more money doing that job than I think some of you realize. It's honestly a really good side gig that I have going for me, I make pretty solid pay and I'm essentially doing my own thing most of the evening whilst working. I was there for about 5 1/2 hours last night and made $76 in tips, not including my wage at all. I live/deliver in a residential area with low traffic so cost of gas is pretty low.

Nothing about being a pizza delivery guy is attractive, sorry.

It would be to your advantage to work into the conversation, earlier rather than later, something about you going to school and the degree you are pursuing.

 

[sazc]

You mean the attention ***** slut that approached me and asked ME out? lol

Anyway, I texted her when I got back in my car so she had my number but I didn't text for a date until after I had gone back to the store, picked up the next delivery and had finished that, so around 20 to 30 minutes.

Too soon, you should have waited 2-3 DAYS

 

[sangheilios]

Nothing about being a pizza delivery guy is attractive, sorry.

It would be to your advantage to work into the conversation, earlier rather than later, something about you going to school and the degree you are pursuing.

It's just a job that makes money, no worse than being a waiter lol.

I'm not exactly there to have full blown conversations with people lol. Also, I think if you actually meet/interact with me you'd be able to tell that this isn't a career thing for me. I'm in shape, present well and not covered in tattoos, etc. Most of the people that deliver there are college students or have this as a side gig, they look "normal". The ones that don't have a look to them, like they are pot heads, covered in tattoos, etc.

 

[Spaz]

I just finished my degree and I'm going to PT, physical therapy, school next year, it was originally supposed to be this year but certain things had lined up a bit differently for me. With that aside, I make close to $20/hr after taxes, this includes wage + tips, so it really isn't a bad gig at all. Again, this is a part time gig that I have and not a career. Also, I'm currently living in AZ so the cost of living out here is very low compared to many places in the country, so naturally the money I'm making goes a lot farther than say in some major metro area (NYC, LA, etc.).

@Spaz I do have other things going on in my life besides trying to date and have sex with women, though I do realize that is what I solely post about on this forum lol.

Good man.

So when are you gonna open a thread on improvements like Redskin?

So that the forum can add input as you chart ur own progress that produces tangible results instead of just blogging ur failures.

 

[sangheilios]

Good man.

So when are you gonna open a thread on improvements like Redskin?

So that the forum can add input as you chart ur own progress that produces tangible results instead of just blogging ur failures.

Improvements on what?

 

[sazc]

Improvements on what?

LMAO
Someone did mention they thought he was autistic

 

[Spaz]

Improvements on what?

Right now you're a professional blogger on continuous failure it's time you change careers and now it's time to be on continuous improvement, attain greatness in that arena.

Where would you like to start off?

 

[sangheilios]

Right now you're a professional blogger on continuous failure it's time you change careers and now it's time to be on continuous improvement, attain greatness in that arena.

Where would you like to start off?

Didn't you read the reply I had left you earlier?

I just told you that I had recently finished my degree and that I was going to be in physical therapy school this fall but that I had to postpone that until next year due to other variables in my life. My house is paid off, meaning I don't have rent at all. I don't have a car payment, no debt at all. I have a 5 figure crypto portfolio.

I already am in really good shape and workout regularly, take care of myself, etc. I have friends, a social life, hobbies, interests, etc. And I'm 6'4" and white.....I don't understand what the hell else I need to be doing right now that I'm not already maintaining or actively working on.

 

[sazc]

@sangheilios your replies are reminiscent of Bigdave. You post asking for input, you get input, and then you defend your initial actions and dismiss and negate everything everyone has to say.

 

[Spaz]

Didn't you read the reply I had left you earlier?

I just told you that I had recently finished my degree and that I was going to be in physical therapy school this fall but that I had to postpone that until next year due to other variables in my life. My house is paid off, meaning I don't have rent at all. I don't have a car payment, no debt at all. I have a 5 figure crypto portfolio.

I already am in really good shape and workout regularly, take care of myself, etc. I have friends, a social life, hobbies, interests, etc. And I'm 6'4" and white.....I don't understand what the hell else I need to be doing right now that I'm not already maintaining or actively working on.

Let's see how good looking u r.

Prove it.

Once that's settled the forum can then look into other aspects and figure out where you exactly need help.

 

[sosousage]

I have a 5 figure crypto portfolio.

I already am in really good shape and workout regularly, take care of myself, etc. I have friends, a social life, hobbies, interests, etc. And I'm 6'4" and white.....

bigdave changed IP !!!