Ghosted after bringing her to orgasm

Oatmeal31

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Been cold approaching a lot lately. One day, I went out ended up getting a few numbers and one of them was this redhead Australian girl tourist who was by herself. Let's call her Kathy. Giggly and super receptive when I approached her. Got her number, brought her close by the lower back, and she definitely was open for a kiss right then and there but I held off. I said I'll text ya, see ya later. Texted her a few hours later and wanted to see if she was down for something that night, no response. Was sexting this other girl tourist that I met that same day in the meantime, so completely unbothered.

Next day, I send another text because why not. She seemed really into it. She ends up responding 8 hours later, I give her a time. This is the rest of the text exchange. I had noticed she was pretty short with her responses, and mine were longer..and she'd annoyingly take forever to respond.

When I got to her place, she came out super happy, embraced and we kissed. Then I took her to my car, and I told her we can go to Wrigleyville or this super cool place in Indiana, which was a longer drive. She was ok with whatever, so I drove her an hour to a beach in Indiana. Turns out she's super shy and I had to carry much of the conversation until she was more comfortable asking questions for some more back and forth. I was escalating most of the time while driving, caressing her thighs and inching closer, pulling back at times so I wasn't too eager or making her uncomfortable, and she didn't mind, except she was guarding her vagina. We're talking about her pet rabbit, music, other things we had in common, and I toss in flirting. Super shy but she was giggling and smiling the whole time

Anyways, we get to the beach, it's night by the time we get there. It's also cold so I give her my puffer jacket and we walk down to a bench facing the ocean. We're the only ones there, so perfect. I sat down and had her sit on my lap. She obliges and embraces my neck, and then we end up making out in that position for a while. I ask if she's comfortable, she says yes. I end up moving my hand downstairs after making out for some time, reaching into her pants and she was ultra wet. I fingered her from there and she gets to squirming and a soft moan here and there. She ends up convulsing after I keep going and she's grabbing me tight. She's also caressing, licking, and kissing my neck, face, and ears. She sits on my lap from the other side and from the front throughout, and we're just doing the same thing. I finger her again at some point through her pants and she orgasms once again. She says we keep it PG, then I pull back, and eventually inch my way back with no resistance. She was fine with me reaching and caressing her cheeks but pulled she'd gently pull my hands away from the merchandise a few times and I oblige. Never resisted and just pushed through without care when she'd pull my hands back.

At some point, I say, is kissing all you want to do? She smiles and says it seems that's all you wanna do. But I made it known I wanted to **** her. I said I'd put her against the wall, do so many things, destroy her but she would just say not tonight. I even said, you wanna go back to the car? And she said, we can do that but we're not having sex. She'd even back into my d!ck and I'd thrust. I never pouted, just kept doing what we were doing before. After some time, we head back to the car, and I drive her an hour back to her place.

We end up talking about more things, getting to know each other, and I'm touching her again. I joke about how she's guarding the castle and I might have to break through the gates with an army, and she laughs. She obliges so long as I don't touch her pu$$y and just grabs my hand at some point and I alternate between hands/thighs. She tells me she's leaving Chicago, to visit Wisconsin, but will be back on the 18th. When I dropped her off, we made out again and I told her to let me know when she'd be back. She said she would but never did. I let a day go pass before reaching out again on the 17th. And then more than a day later, I say damn I expected more from you. Boom, ghosted.

****ty feeling, feel used for some reason. Maybe because I had to lead on ****ing everything to get things moving. And maybe she was Oscar level acting things out, but things seemed to go well. I make you bust twice and you ain't coming back? That was some convincing **** if it was somehow fake. I wanted to take things further but now I'm left in the dark. Disappointed. This girl was hot, modest personality, super super chill. I'm hung up over it, even though I know it's not good.

I used to be pretty pushy to be honest with other dates, but I definitely worked on toning that down with this one. Maybe not enough? Even so, why ghost?



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crowolf

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Well, it sounds like you did everything you could. I think it was a good experience overall, no matter if you didn't have s3x.

I think your mistake is too much pull, and not enough push. You sound a bit too eager and needy. Which worked out fine since you were escalating and showing desire for her. But if you wasn't pulling so hard, you would have gone further on another day.

Maybe she didn't shave, maybe she had some vag issues, maybe she is a virgin, who knows..

Judging by the texts, you are way more invested in her than she is in you. Also, I wouldn't text her so much if she replies with so little. As long as you arrange things, keep it simple. "6 pm - there". No need to write her so much. It gives needy and tryhard vibes.
 

Clockwerk50

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Good stuff on the pull.

One thing that stood out to me was the one-hour car ride. It makes me shiver thinking about sitting with a stranger for an hour there and back in a car. Things could have gone worse, especially since neither of you had a plan to eject in case things didn’t meet both of your expectations.

Nonetheless, I think you may have said something odd, a red flag came up during the trip, or you came across as too externally relationship focused. I don’t mind the texting, since you were able to get her off the phone and into a real-life interaction, but at some point, the dynamic needs to change, and she should start chasing you, especially after a first date when you showed her what you have to offer.
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Sounds like she just wanted to have some fun while she was in town. It is what it is.

Ghosted because it's easier than trying to go thru and explain why she is choosing not to re-engage and she knows you'd just keep going with trying to make something happen.

I'd just assume any type of tourist is a one night type thing and if you get more out of it, then that's a bonus, but the default is always you are just going to see her one time.

Good job on the approach and pickup, you can't win them all.
 

Oatmeal31

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Well, it sounds like you did everything you could. I think it was a good experience overall, no matter if you didn't have s3x.

I think your mistake is too much pull, and not enough push. You sound a bit too eager and needy. Which worked out fine since you were escalating and showing desire for her. But if you wasn't pulling so hard, you would have gone further on another day.

Maybe she didn't shave, maybe she had some vag issues, maybe she is a virgin, who knows..

Judging by the texts, you are way more invested in her than she is in you. Also, I wouldn't text her so much if she replies with so little. As long as you arrange things, keep it simple. "6 pm - there". No need to write her so much. It gives needy and tryhard vibes.
Yeah, a bit much with eagerness with sex is a major flaw I've been trying to work on. I probably tried to subtly bring up sex multiple times and she'd say not tonight. I think I decided to do that because I had to lead so much for how shy she was. I wrote her again because she took freaking hours to respond with an address.

Also, could have to do with cold approaching takimg a lot of my time and effort and the fact that I usually only have a night with tourists. I'm really not used to girls chasing, but I'm still learning

Something that I got from a video once, that stuck with me was that most girls you meet out of cold approaching are on the fence. They aren't set on a yes or no until you can hook them or not, so a bit of persistence can pay off

Good stuff on the pull.

One thing that stood out to me was the one-hour car ride. It makes me shiver thinking about sitting with a stranger for an hour there and back in a car. Things could have gone worse, especially since neither of you had a plan to eject in case things didn’t meet both of your expectations.

Nonetheless, I think you may have said something odd, a red flag came up during the trip, or you came across as too externally relationship focused. I don’t mind the texting, since you were able to get her off the phone and into a real-life interaction, but at some point, the dynamic needs to change, and she should start chasing you, especially after a first date when you showed her what you have to offer.
Can't think of anything odd I said during the drive. It was pretty laid back and I bought her a fast food meal along the way since she was hungry. I don't feel I hinted at anything longer term, and I'd pull back for her to ask questions and initiate. I'd lightly tease/flirt to keep it spicy

Trying to subtly make sex happen multiple times probably backfired

And yeah, I half expected her to chase and initiate via text after that, so I gave some room, but no dice. Just radio silence
 
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Oatmeal31

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Sounds like she just wanted to have some fun while she was in town. It is what it is.

Ghosted because it's easier than trying to go thru and explain why she is choosing not to re-engage and she knows you'd just keep going with trying to make something happen.

I'd just assume any type of tourist is a one night type thing and if you get more out of it, then that's a bonus, but the default is always you are just going to see her one time.

Good job on the approach and pickup, you can't win them all.
Makes sense, but always a ****ty thing to do. Start to second guess myself and think about what I did, if she faked, etc. even though I made everything happen
 

john1234

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Been cold approaching a lot lately. One day, I went out ended up getting a few numbers and one of them was this redhead Australian girl tourist who was by herself. Let's call her Kathy. Giggly and super receptive when I approached her. Got her number, brought her close by the lower back, and she definitely was open for a kiss right then and there but I held off. I said I'll text ya, see ya later. Texted her a few hours later and wanted to see if she was down for something that night, no response. Was sexting this other girl tourist that I met that same day in the meantime, so completely unbothered.

Next day, I send another text because why not. She seemed really into it. She ends up responding 8 hours later, I give her a time. This is the rest of the text exchange. I had noticed she was pretty short with her responses, and mine were longer..and she'd annoyingly take forever to respond.

When I got to her place, she came out super happy, embraced and we kissed. Then I took her to my car, and I told her we can go to Wrigleyville or this super cool place in Indiana, which was a longer drive. She was ok with whatever, so I drove her an hour to a beach in Indiana. Turns out she's super shy and I had to carry much of the conversation until she was more comfortable asking questions for some more back and forth. I was escalating most of the time while driving, caressing her thighs and inching closer, pulling back at times so I wasn't too eager or making her uncomfortable, and she didn't mind, except she was guarding her vagina. We're talking about her pet rabbit, music, other things we had in common, and I toss in flirting. Super shy but she was giggling and smiling the whole time

Anyways, we get to the beach, it's night by the time we get there. It's also cold so I give her my puffer jacket and we walk down to a bench facing the ocean. We're the only ones there, so perfect. I sat down and had her sit on my lap. She obliges and embraces my neck, and then we end up making out in that position for a while. I ask if she's comfortable, she says yes. I end up moving my hand downstairs after making out for some time, reaching into her pants and she was ultra wet. I fingered her from there and she gets to squirming and a soft moan here and there. She ends up convulsing after I keep going and she's grabbing me tight. She's also caressing, licking, and kissing my neck, face, and ears. She sits on my lap from the other side and from the front throughout, and we're just doing the same thing. I finger her again at some point through her pants and she orgasms once again. She says we keep it PG, then I pull back, and eventually inch my way back with no resistance. She was fine with me reaching and caressing her cheeks but pulled she'd gently pull my hands away from the merchandise a few times and I oblige. Never resisted and just pushed through without care when she'd pull my hands back.

At some point, I say, is kissing all you want to do? She smiles and says it seems that's all you wanna do. But I made it known I wanted to **** her. I said I'd put her against the wall, do so many things, destroy her but she would just say not tonight. I even said, you wanna go back to the car? And she said, we can do that but we're not having sex. She'd even back into my d!ck and I'd thrust. I never pouted, just kept doing what we were doing before. After some time, we head back to the car, and I drive her an hour back to her place.

We end up talking about more things, getting to know each other, and I'm touching her again. I joke about how she's guarding the castle and I might have to break through the gates with an army, and she laughs. She obliges so long as I don't touch her pu$$y and just grabs my hand at some point and I alternate between hands/thighs. She tells me she's leaving Chicago, to visit Wisconsin, but will be back on the 18th. When I dropped her off, we made out again and I told her to let me know when she'd be back. She said she would but never did. I let a day go pass before reaching out again on the 17th. And then more than a day later, I say damn I expected more from you. Boom, ghosted.

****ty feeling, feel used for some reason. Maybe because I had to lead on ****ing everything to get things moving. And maybe she was Oscar level acting things out, but things seemed to go well. I make you bust twice and you ain't coming back? That was some convincing **** if it was somehow fake. I wanted to take things further but now I'm left in the dark. Disappointed. This girl was hot, modest personality, super super chill. I'm hung up over it, even though I know it's not good.

I used to be pretty pushy to be honest with other dates, but I definitely worked on toning that down with this one. Maybe not enough? Even so, why ghost?



View attachment 14168 View attachment 14169
She is getting bigger d*ck else where..
 

Barrister

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OP,

When chicks ghost it’s because they just don’t want to deal with any type of confrontation. That’s all the ghosting is.

As for your date, this chick was clearly enjoying the thrill you provided. It sounds like her anti-slut defense was kicking in a bit. So I don’t think you did anything wrong per se there.

I DO think some of your texting came off a bit desperate. Double texting after no response for a few hours and telling her you had to see her was a bit cringe. I get why you did it - but you probably know that wasn’t the right move. But that isn’t what did you in. In the end it was just the chick and you shouldn’t let any of this affect you and disturb your mojo. Sounds like you have a few other irons in the fire. Focus on them and onto the next.
 
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Oatmeal31

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She is getting bigger d*ck else where..
You know, I thought about that after she dipped. What if she had a bf in Australia, because chances it's happening in the U.S. is probably zero.
She ain't the type to go to a club/bar alone so she ain't gonna get hit on just wandering around. I just happened to be walking in the area

Years and years ago, I took a coworker out on a date. She drove 3 hours to make it, and I physically escalated. She was ok with me touching her, caressing, but when I went from the kiss, red light. Turned her cheek. Turns out she was long distance with a boyfriend, who she NEVER mentioned until after the date.

Could possibly be that this Australian girl has a boyfriend, went on vacay by herself, and was willing to go out with me but would draw the line with penetrative sex..unlikely but just a thought..
You got sex, take the dub and move on
Doesn't really count as sex to me unless I get to use my d!ck. Still enjoyed it, but yeah, over now
 
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Oatmeal31

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OP,

When chicks ghost it’s because they just don’t want to deal with any type of confrontation. That’s all the ghosting is.

As for your date, this chick was clearly enjoying the thrill you provided. It sounds like her anti-slut defense was kicking in a bit. So I don’t think you did anything wrong per se there.

I DO think some of your texting came off a bit desperate. Double texting after no response for a few hours and telling her you had to see her was a bit cringe. I get why you did it - but you probably know that wasn’t the right move. But that isn’t what did you in. In the end it was just the chick and you shouldn’t let any of this affect you and disturb your mojo. Sounds like you have a few other irons in the fire. Focus on them and onto the next.
It was from a place of persistence rather than neediness in my eyes, which is something I've put into practice lately because I've never had any luck being aloof and unresponsive with girls on the fence. Did it come off as needy? Don't know, probably. I'm just practicing with a little persistence to learn as I go. I'll make adjustments
 
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Barrister

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It was from a place of persistence rather than neediness in my eyes, which is something I've put into practice lately because I've never had any luck being aloof and unresponsive with girls on the fence. Did it come off as needy? Don't know, probably. I'm just practicing with a little persistence to learn as I go. I'll make adjustments
I certainly think you can “circle back” with chicks. Just within the same day and conversation I think you lose if you reach out multiple times in the same exchange.

Again - in this particular case I don’t think it mattered.
 

CornbreadFed

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My ex is Aussie and I learned that their women are pretty aggressive & masculine in general. I should’ve stuck around for an Aussie green card to gtfo of the US, but she was too combative.
 

SW15

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Doesn't really count as sex to me unless I get to use my d!ck.
It does not count as a notch because of that.

My ex is Aussie and I learned that their women are pretty aggressive & masculine in general.
The mating environment in Australia is not that much different than the mating environment in the USA.

Australia is known for its leftist, feminist, "Girl Boss", and SJW types.

She is an Australian tourist who would go back to Australia soon. There isn't much of a future there. Even @Oatmeal31 isn't planning to stay in Chicago long.
This is why it shouldn't be an issue. If @Oatmeal31 had perfect game here, he gets a few instances of vaginal sex and things end.
 

CornbreadFed

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The mating environment in Australia is not that much different than the mating environment in the USA.

Australia is known for its leftist, feminist, "Girl Boss", and SJW types.
Australia is like 5x worse than the US. 99% of the women there are going to be indoctrinated in to some feminist girl boss BS. In the US, it’s much easier to avoid and women hide their feminism ideas when they are with a guy they have high interest in.
 

SW15

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Australia is like 5x worse than the US. 99% of the women there are going to be indoctrinated in to some feminist girl boss BS. In the US, it’s much easier to avoid and women hide their feminism ideas when they are with a guy they have high interest in.
Valid. When I said Australia isn't much different from in the USA in terms of mating, it was because they are both less traditional and feminist influenced cultures.

In Australia, there's a reason Jana Hocking is so popular. For those that don't know, Jana Hocking is a famous 'Chad' seeking, penis carousel riding female with an popular relationship advice column/blog. A lot of Australian women have similar attitudes to Hocking. YouTuber Better Bachelor often pokes holes in her arguments.

Men looking to escape a bad mating environment in the USA typically don't go to Australia.

Men from the USA and Australia who seek more traditional women go to similar places. Australian men would be more likely to go to Southeast Asia because it is closer. USA men are more likely to choose Latin America because USA men are more likely to have stronger Spanish language skills. Both would be equally inclined to choose Eastern Europe. Eastern Europe is popular with Western European men who seek more traditional women due to relative proximity.

I have no desire to try to get my penis wet in Australia.
 

Oatmeal31

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Australia is like 5x worse than the US. 99% of the women there are going to be indoctrinated in to some feminist girl boss BS. In the US, it’s much easier to avoid and women hide their feminism ideas when they are with a guy they have high interest in.
Yeah, I expected Aussie banter and what not but this girl was the most laid back chick I've ever encountered. I told her that but she said she's not that laid back compared to others. Didn't think much cause she was acting feminine and pretty submissive

Had no idea Australia had that kinda feminist propaganda going on
 

CornbreadFed

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I have no desire to try to get my penis wet in Australia.
It’s not worth it unless you want that green card lol. Sex was always wild and fun though.


Had no idea Australia had that kinda feminist propaganda going on
She was probably in vacation mode and more mellowed out. People act differently while on vacation and usually Aussies get long vacation time.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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