gf with guy friends

danthemann

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generally my rule is that i dont tolerate my girl hanging out exclusively with another guy mainly because shes hot and i know theyre just her friend in case something happens to us or to try and pull a fast one when her guard is down. Ive caught a few of my old friends with ulterior motives already and me and her avoid them for the most part now.

My situation: Theres this one friend of hers in 2 of her college classes and when me and her got into an argument a few weeks ago, he let her know his true intentions. Shes always with me and doesnt exclusively hang out with him but despite his true intentions she still considers him a friend. They text and such but nothing serious besides some normal chit chat. She kind of uses him for answers to math homework and has already established with him that they are just friends. But the guy knows i know his motives and knows i have a slight issue with that and he keeps trying to hit on her when im not around and she even tells me about this stuff. I dont know how i should handle a situation like this. on one end im not trying to come off as insecure or jealous but on the other hand i feel like i need to assert my dominance and basically put him in check. Im not trying to fight the kid unless it comes down to it as this would probably cause problems and ignoring him seems to be doing nothing.
 

Eternal_water

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I'm a single afc so my opinion is probably way off

But I would just trust her and not get jelous. I don't think jelous is something she would want to be with anyway.

Girls with boyfriends always seem to have a friend who is waiting for her to dump the boyfriend and get with them. And the girls keep them as pets cos they enjoy getting the attention of guys but would never actually give them anything back.

I know, I have been the friend a fair few times who gets nothing.

She gets to complain about her boyfriend to her "friend" even though she is fine just where she is or he would not be her boyfriend. And she gets her own hanger on, to boost her ego.
 

TempestNight

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You never want to show that you are jealous to your girl, but what I would do is confront the guy directly, maybe ask him to have a few drinks in a pub on weekday nights, don't make it seem like you are threatened, but "be friendly", talk to him subtly to set up boundary to let him know that she's your territory and he would be wise not to cross the line.
 

Eternal_water

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Lets put it this way, If I could choose wether to be in your position or his position, I would choose to be in your position every day of the week. (except wednesdays)
 

bigneil

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My gf just went on spring break with 5 muscle head guys who she is friends with.

I'm going NC for the duration of the (4 day) trip. One one hand I am a realist. On the other hand, if she really liked any of those guys better, why wouldn't she have been with them to begin with?

Remember: she was already doing whatever she wanted when she met you.
 

zekko

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Eternal water said:
Girls with boyfriends always seem to have a friend who is waiting for her to dump the boyfriend and get with them. And the girls keep them as pets cos they enjoy getting the attention of guys but would never actually give them anything back.
Reminds me of that video that people post here from time to time. An oldie but a goodie, very revealing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

danthemann said:
Theres this one friend of hers in 2 of her college classes and when me and her got into an argument a few weeks ago, he let her know his true intentions. Shes always with me and doesnt exclusively hang out with him but despite his true intentions she still considers him a friend. They text and such but nothing serious besides some normal chit chat. She kind of uses him for answers to math homework and has already established with him that they are just friends
And uses him for attention, no doubt.

Girls who are planning to branch swing will often start an argument with their current boyfriend to free them up to grab the next branch. She lets the next guy know that she and her boyfriend aren't getting along, and that further encourages him. Not saying that's the case here, but it happens.

Normally I draw the line with one on one encounters, and I wouldn't mind the texting. But in this case, the guy has announced his intentions, so that changes things. As long as she isn't hanging out with him, I'd probably tolerate the situation, with the expectation that she get rid of this guy by the time her class ends. I don't see any reason why they should be texting back and forth once the semester is over.

Unlike many of you, I really don't give a rat's if somebody thinks I'm jealous or insecure or not - I know the truth. I have certain standards of behavior I expect from women who want to be my girlfriend, and I've seen over and over that the whole "male friend" thing is a huge red flag.
 

cordoncordon

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bigneil said:
My gf just went on spring break with 5 muscle head guys who she is friends with.

I'm going NC for the duration of the (4 day) trip. One one hand I am a realist. On the other hand, if she really liked any of those guys better, why wouldn't she have been with them to begin with?

Remember: she was already doing whatever she wanted when she met you.
Like I said last week...quality girl you have there. :whistle:

If my gf ever did something like that (and to begin with, she never would, I mean it would not even enter her stream of consciousness) but IF somehow a twilight zone situation happened and she did? I would say bye bye to her in about 2 seconds.

BTW, your "gf" (I use that term loosely) is getting triple teamed right about now.
 

zekko

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cordoncordon said:
If my gf ever did something like that (and to begin with, she never would, I mean it would not even enter her stream of consciousness) but IF somehow a twilight zone situation happened and she did? I would say bye bye to her in about 2 seconds.
I have to agree with cordon here. This is the stripper bisexual girl, right?
That's two dealbreakers for me right there. Going off for a week with five guys? ROTFLMAO.

Having said that, hey, if it works for you bigneil, enjoy. They say there's somebody for everybody. Different strokes and all that. You probably have a more open idea of a relationship than cordon and I do.
 

MM92

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bigneil said:
My gf just went on spring break with 5 muscle head guys who she is friends with.

I'm going NC for the duration of the (4 day) trip. One one hand I am a realist. On the other hand, if she really liked any of those guys better, why wouldn't she have been with them to begin with?

Remember: she was already doing whatever she wanted when she met you.
This exactly. I can't understand why people on here stop their girlfriends from communicating with males. For me that is afc. By not worrying it shows confidence, and who doesn't like confidence? If she was to cheat on you than that's her own fault and her own loss and she wouldn't be worth it in the first place.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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This is very disrespectful. You guys got to start setting boundaries with these females before you wife them up. Guys do not have friends that are girls unless they are trying to bang them except for a few exceptions:

1. The dude is straight up gay.
2. Dude is related to the girl.
3. Your girl is ugly as fk and has cute friends in which she can hook him up with.

These are the only exceptions so if your girl is entertaining a guy then this is disrespectful for you. You need to check this behavior and be willing to walk. You guys shouldn't even be getting into relationships with these females without setting the grounds. Quit trying to build homes on dirt. You need a foundation.
 

Eternal_water

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MM92 said:
I can't understand why people on here stop their girlfriends from communicating with males. For me that is afc. By not worrying it shows confidence, and who doesn't like confidence?
Well I may be afc most of the time but its good to know at least I'm not afc when I'm in a relationship :)
 

bigneil

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First, my gf is going away with 5 guys and 7 girls. Second, she has had this trip planned since before I met her and has been telling me how excited she is for months. Third, it’s the second annual trip with the same crowd. Fourth, all the guys she’s going with (age 20, from her high school and jobless) were at her party ten days ago anyhow. Fifth, she is 21 years my junior so I understand I can’t be possessive (i.e., not “wifed up”). Sixth, if I can handle her being a lap dancer, don’t you think I can handle her going away for a few days? Seventh, SHE wanted to talk about the relationship and I dodged the question last week. In case you missed it, girls don’t ask “What are we?” when the answer is anywhere close to “Sugar daddy and sugar baby”.

Instead of whining about her “disrespectful” trip or putting restrictions on her vacation, I planned a romantic getaway for us for the weekend prior. So I took her 200 miles away to a city I’d never visited where there was a famous film festival packed with movie producers and we stayed in a 125 year old hotel and dined at the best restaurant in town. Good luck to the guys trying to impress her this week by pumping the keg without fizz.

According to my boss who met her last Friday night: “She was so beautiful that when you both walked out together every head in the entire restaurant turned like falling dominoes to catch a look at her in that dress”. He agreed with me (as did my parents who met her) that she is so lovely, so sweet and so unjaded that she can simply do no wrong. We agreed finding her is a once in a lifetime experience at a strip bar - or anywhere for that matter.

Seeing her sleeping between the white satin sheets in that hotel was the most amazing thing I ever saw. Waking to find her arms around me made my heart sing.

Yes, that’s what I call a quality girl.
 

Eternal_water

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I would think afc post of the month would go to one of my threads asking how to get a girlfriend haha
 

bigneil

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PlusPairBlueBalls said:
Then why did you say your are going NC with her for the duration of the trip?
What am I going to do? Call and check on her? I've gone NC after EVERY date for the past month. She has texted first the last 12 straight times (every 2.5 days on average - note we don't communicate most days). She'll text me when she's back and - get this - we'll have sex that night. When you've slept with an HB9+ for 6 months straight, there is no AFC. Some just can't handle the truth because - let's face it, they're not sleeping with a hot 20 year old.

If my lady isn't the most beautiful girl who I KNOW, then let God strike me down!

And that, my friends is the goal of every SS member: to be having a romantic relationship with the hottest girl they know. One their friends and family adore despite certain taboo. But remember: when you're over the target, you catch flak.
 

bigneil

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Exactly EvilAgenda.

She should be worried about me! She left me alone where I know she can't possibly be at the strip club (where for the past 6 months she's showed me off to all her hot coworkers). Do you know how much my stock went up there? Or how high my confidence is with new women? Imagine how quickly and easily I could score there now. I won't do it. That would be cheating.
 

zekko

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bigneil said:
First, my gf is going away with 5 guys and 7 girls
Okay, that is a completely different situation than what you described before. You said she was going off with five muscleheads. That made it sound like it was just her and five dudes. I was thinking yeah, there's definitely something going on behind the scenes there. But for this situation, it's just her going with a group, I would not have an objection to.

I would not personally date a stripper, anymore than I would date a prostitute, I don't care how good looking she is. But something that is often missed on this forum is that every guy here is different, every guy is looking for different things, and every guy has his own goals. You can't really fit this stuff into "one size fits all" as much as guys like to think.

As for being bisexual, I think every girl has a bit of bisexuality in her. But I would not date a practicing bisexual, or even a professed bisexual. I probably would have considered it when I was younger (in fact I nearly did) and I was trying to accumulate experiences.

Regarding this "AFC Post of the Month", is there a cash prize involved? If so, I might be persuaded to fire off something.
 

zekko

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double post, frigging site has been messing up lately.
 

bigneil

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zekko said:
You said she was going off with five muscleheads.
She tested me by saying just that earlier that day (she doesn't like muscle heads, she says), so it was on my mind.

zekko said:
I would not personally date a stripper, anymore than I would date a prostitute.
Make no mistake, there is a fine line. Don't think she didn't have to prove herself to me over time.

zekko said:
I don't care how good looking she is. But something that is often missed on this forum is that every guy here is different, every guy is looking for different things, and every guy has his own goals.
But when the most beautiful woman you know (who you long ago fell for, however foolishly) wants to see you, it's hard to resist. I went to a strip club seeking the most beautiful women and never imagined I'd find my sweetheart.

zekko said:
As for being bisexual, I think every girl has a bit of bisexuality in her.
Great point. She is NOT bisexual, but just bicurious like most girls. She doesn't have a dike gf. That is what bisexual women are like. They have Ellen Degeneres on the side. Not her. She is SUPER lady like and SUPER feminine. My stepdad is independently wealthy and self-made and he is a classy guy. He loved her[/QUOTE]

zekko said:
But I would not date a practicing bisexual, or even a professed bisexual
Neither would I to be honest. Been there done that (in the '90's). It makes you even more jealous because a man can't compete with women!

zekko said:
Regarding this "AFC Post of the Month", is there a cash prize involved? If so, I might be persuaded to fire off something.
Yes we should start a Chipin and have a real prize. I'll donate $50.
 
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