Gf putting on the weight.

Rainman4707

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On the night I brought this up, I remember her saying she had gained weight because of stress, she lost someone close to her last year & she has had issues with one of her propertys.

What are your views on this?
 

dude99

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Gf has been putting on a bit weight recently, so I brought it up.

She was very unhappy. She is speaking to me again, but wants an apology.

Any thoughts?
Buy a treadmill. Put it rightin front of the tv in the living room. Make a game out of it. Challenge her that you can get to 5 miles on it before she can. She will want to prove you wrong. You both get fit. And you both benefit
 

AAAgent

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I told mine straight out, relationships are made up many things. Attraction is one of those things. If I ever become unattractive to you whether it's appearance or demeanor, let me know and give me a reasonable amount of time to change. If i don't change, I will totally understand but that street works both ways. I can love you all I want, but if i'm not attracted to you, that will be a strain in the relationship and will eventually tear us apart. Let's make an effort to always work out and try to eat healthy. Let's have balanced lives so our relationship can be balanced, etc.

My girl understood and accepted this. Not all girls will. Good luck to you buddy.
 

Kailex

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On the night I brought this up, I remember her saying she had gained weight because of stress, she lost someone close to her last year & she has had issues with one of her propertys.

What are your views on this?
My view is that it is an "excuse". Sure, she said that, but what' the excuse NOW?

Has she gone back to the gym, is she making an effort? If not, then guess what... essentially YOU will symbolize her WEIGHT. Yep. Just as she stopped caring because [Insert Reason X Here], she'll probably apply the same to you. As someone with vast knowledge dating... I wasted more time and effort trying to get someone back into the gym than it did to go find someone else who won't scapegoat their way out of confrontation. If she hasn't actively made ANY changes since this came up, there is your answer.
 

Rainman4707

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My view is that it is an "excuse". Sure, she said that, but what' the excuse NOW?

Has she gone back to the gym, is she making an effort? If not, then guess what... essentially YOU will symbolize her WEIGHT. Yep. Just as she stopped caring because [Insert Reason X Here], she'll probably apply the same to you. As someone with vast knowledge dating... I wasted more time and effort trying to get someone back into the gym than it did to go find someone else who won't scapegoat their way out of confrontation. If she hasn't actively made ANY changes since this came up, there is your answer.
She does do yoga & she said she is going to start doing fitness training again. It would be good if she would KEEP AT IT THOUGH. She has all these hairball schemes so to speak. Trains for a few month, then quits.
 

Reykhel

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On the night I brought this up, I remember her saying she had gained weight because of stress, she lost someone close to her last year & she has had issues with one of her propertys.

What are your views on this?
Right, well she's possibly identified a factor/the cause.

An array of addictions (even temporarily) can stem from "stress", or more importantly not handling stress in a positive manner.

You don't ever want to tell her what to do......because 1. You risk becoming codependent 2. You'll never know if it's true change coming from within (could be just temporarily to please you) Anyway, codependence breeds resentments from both sides...

....but you can influence her...

Rapport: "sure, I used to deal with stress in a destructive fashion when I was in my twenties. Then I took up boxing/meditation/running/swimming (whatever positive outlet) and I learned to deal with stress in a constructive manner"

How do I get what I want questions: "How would you deal with that situation in a constructive manner if it happened again in the future?"
 

CMNILS87

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I do like curvy women. Big boobs. Not really into skinny women.

My girl has a hot body, she's just been letting herself go a bit recently. She's blaiming it on stress. She hasn't put on a lot of weight, just a bit.
I think what worries me is that her mother is quite big. The mother eats when she is stressed.
My concern is that my Gf will end up the same weight as her mother. My friend once said "You've got to look at women, then look at their mothers & think that's what she'll be like in the future". So what my friend was saying is women will end up like their mothers.

In the past my girl has stated that she wants to be in good condition for when she conceives.
So i was at my girls whilst she was getting changed . She is starting to get fatter around the stomach & butt. I said "I thought you were concerned about your weight for getting pregnant?"
So basically I called her fat. I have asked her this question a couple times in the past & she has never took it so personally. I was quite surprised in the past when she hasn't took it personally. Maybe she's quite sensitive recently.
EJECT, she's talking about being fit and staying healthy for when she conceives???? The only time women think about that is when she's baby crazy.
 

Reyaj

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Anyone who has had success getting their girl to do this please tell us exactly what you did please!

I feel like most girls who get into relationships put on weight!
 

ubercat

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Pretty simple cut down the amount you see her and go exercise together. If it's a shared interest especially if it's something social you shouldn't have too much trouble.
 

Woujo

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Look, dude.

You can't "tell" a woman to improve herself. She won't.

All you can do is provide a good example. You exercise, you eat well, etc... She either gets with the program or she doesn't. If she doesn't, next her.
 
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