GF Of 1 1/2 Years Wants To Be A F*ckBuddy Of Some Sort

[Ramin]

STUART...

Are these guys right, stuart? IS THERE ANOTHER GUY IN THE PICTURE? Is she playing the "I will keep stuart around in case this new guy isn't as great as I think" game? ANY CLUES HERE? Can you find out? I'm wondering if echo and Harm have called it right. This would be a great lesson.

I still think they might be wrong and that there is no SPECIFIC guy she has an interest in. I'm curious to know if I'm wrong.



Ramin

 

[echo1212]

As stated before, believe me from personal experience. Unless you are just a total dud or loser or she has no IL at all, a girl will not dump you or start playing games unless she has someone better waiting. It is against the very nature of women to do so. A woman would rather be with someone she doesnt really like than be alone most of the time, hence the non flakiness until that someone comes along.

 

[Kwah]

Dude, your handling it better than my 18 month break up. I turned into a complete flaming AFC, and alcoholic for 6 months. I was a natural DJ before that but not knowing what I know now ruined me for quite a while, Im proud of you holmes.

 

[CGE333]

I'm with a lot of people here- she either has someone else or has a high IL in someone else. I myself got out of a 3 yr relationship at the start of the year and she did the old confused, need time to think, etc. In my opinion that is her way of letting you know it is over. Women rarely come right out and say why and maybe they don't know exactly why. Mine gave the old something I said 7 months before then hurt her. In my opinion that is just an excuse you don't have a disagreement about something and then 7 months later break up because of it- having never brought it up again.

She also gave me the can't change BS. When her and I both know that the 2 times in our relationship she sat me down and asked me to stop doing something that annoyed her or she did not like- both times I stopped doing it. Then I find out that while I was out of town she was out making out with other guys. She moved all of her stuff out before I got back and then called me up and just said "that's that"- like you are going to end a 3 year relationship with a 5 second phone call.

I did the AFC thing for a month while we went back and forth and did not even eject with any pride in tact. Sorry for turning this post into more about me.

But take the advice of others, use the ejection line from before and then hang up the phone- it will lose any and all effectiveness if you continue to talk to her because chances are you will slip back into AFC mode. I know it sucks, and unfortunately the emotional pain is something that you really have to go through on your own- but hang in there it does get better.

 

[Ramin]

Wow

These dudes seem positive that she has another guy she is either with or extremely interested in. LET US KNOW, STUART!

Ramin

 

[Slickster]

STUART

Hey Stuart.

Do a search for these two posts that I've written recently.

1. Dealing with the ex

2. A Call from the ex.


Get yourself back on the scene. Find someone new to occupy your attention for a while. Nothing too serious but your ex doesn't need to know that

Turn the tables on this chick and rub it in her face.

She'll probably be begging you back.

But funny thing is once you have other options you might not want her. Ironic isn't it?

Sorry about the pain. I too went thru all this crap recently. Sucks doesn't it? But hang in there man once you are back out there chatting up some cute chicks it won't seem so bad. Trust me.

 

[stuartSan]

Whoa, I never knew a message board could've made me feel better, and motivate me from an otherwise slow day.

Thanks guys, all the posts were nice, and I didn't miss any single word reading through them. (Still a little emotional, heh)

I wouldn't be surprised if she had someone new, because all this while she's been liking the attention a 22 year old friend of mine is giving her. He's good looking, has a great job, alpha, and has the cash. I wasn't bothered about it because I was the one with the chick.

I'm curious too, Ramin. I wish I could find out, but I've decided to give her exactly what she wants. Her space. She can have all the space she wants because I'm going to cut all means of communication with her. Of course, I won't be rude if I accidentally stumble across her in college.

She was a good girlfriend, I'll give her props for that. Heck she even saved money to buy me a handphone, clothes, lotsa other cool surprises and presents. She definetely put in the effort, and its me to blame in this scenario, but heck.. I have to make these mistakes sooner or later. Or else I wouldn't learn.

If she comes back, and when I have enough info to prove that she didn't take a break just to try pursuing some other guy, I might go back with her. But just like the rest of you guys, I'm not even putting hope anymore.

Oh, one thing though, she came over to my class (right after my class finished) today and asked me if I wanted sushi, her treat. I was going over to the mall with my other friends so I told her I couldn't make it. I'd be so confused if I continued thinking about it, but now I realise how much happier you can be if you just let things go.

Thanks guys. You all really know how to pull someone through a tough time.

 

[stuartSan]

So she's telling everybody in college we're only being apart temporarily.

 

[Kwah]

Chill dude, dont let anything she says get to you. People ask tell them your view, that you broke up. IF she starts hearing you think its over she'll either agree with that or freak out and come back to you. Either way, meh.

Good job on keeping it together, when I got the LJBF from my 18 month ex I was BSing on some board that basically advocated suicide if I couldnt get her back. I still shudder to think of it, heh I ended up getting banned from there for telling the admin to **** off.

Good job though bud, keep it up. Maybe go out for coffee with some other chick, force your ex to clear the air before you end up with a new girlfriend, after all, you got dumped, its not your responsibility to care for the other persons feeling.

 

[stuartSan]

Well its a little outdated, but for the sake of people like Ramin, I'd just have to tell you guys this.

There was another guy in the picture. My good friend. My idol. He was very successful at a very young age (22), so I kinda made him my role model. Turns out he had feelings for my ex, and had this secret thing going on behind my back. First time I ever felt pure dissapointment, especially by someone you really looked up to.

My ex liked him too. Its all been confessed, and confirmed.

Just want you guys to watch your back.. there's never anyone you could ever trust 100%.

 

[FlyGuy]

Yo stuart, I was betrayed by a good friend too. You should still count yourself lucky that your ex had the decency to at least break it off and be an adult about it. My ex was cheating on me for a LONG time before I caught her, and I was living with her too! I know how it feels, and yeah it sucks to realize that you can't even trust your friends 100%.

 

[Quick]

I guess this is a lesson to trust your instincts too. You noticed your "friend" liked her and that she liked his attention, but you still felt very secure. There's a balance between being insecure and jealous, and recognizing when your girl has an unhealthy interest in other guys. Finding out things like this can have one of two effects. Making you feel depressed because you were betrayed, or making you feel better because you realize your ex isn't worth missing.

 

[trajhenkhet]

zazen stuartSan

 

[echo1212]

Sorry to hear about that stuart, but like i said in the earlier posts, it doesnt surprise me. 99% of all women will never leave their boyfriends no matter HOW UNHAPPY they are until they have received high IL from someone else or are actually already starting to see that guy. Women are just too insecure about relationships most of the time to leave themselves empty handed. Remember this guys next time your girl gives you the we need sometime apart line.

As for you stuart. Give us some details. How did you find all of this out? Did you and your ex ever talk about any of this? Are those two now together? Details!!

 

[stuartSan]

She confessed to my friend that she liked my friend, so I asked her for the truth, and she admitted and also told me that my friend told her that he likes him.

They aren't together though prolly because they're afraid what my group of friends will say about them.