Good advice all.
But I actually disagree with him telling this girl "by his actions" that he's "also" ending the relationship. Although I DO agree that the end result would be the same, I believe it would be BETTER for him if he went ahead and ended it OFFICIALLY. This IS NOT the time to follow a woman's behavioral M.O.------but to boldly and unashamedly flow from your MASCULINE power.
Remember: His mission here is to lose this woman, not lasso her back.
It should come as no surprise to many of you here that Mr. Ruckus' response struck a special chord with me when he simply said:
"Dump her now and win the war."
Here's why:
This woman has been verbally hinting, hemming, and hawing that she wants out of the relationship, but she has been SCREAMING that she wants out of the relationship by her distancing actions.
All of these passive aggressive, subteranean forms of communication is indeed the realm of the woman-------and they naturally do it better. It has been my experience that mirroring the passive aggressive behaviors of women usually work best in situations where the man is trying to win the woman back via "subtle" methods---------methods that she is often taken by surprise by because she KNOWS that this is not the kind of behavior she normally gets from the man.
But THIS situation is different. It appears that this woman has had quite awhile to "sit with" the idea of life without this man (Brian123) to such an extent where she can calmly, logically, unemotionally, and "SMUGLY"(thanks JOPHIL) make plans to dismiss him from her life with the ruthless caculation of an employer telling an employee that he's temporarily SUSPENDING him---------when he KNOWS all along that he's actually FIRING the guy.
Furthermore, Brian has already exposed his vital organs (mainly his HEART) and bared his neck (by overextending himself in a show of support towards this woman who NO LONGER wants him). Of course, I can't be totally sure, but if I was "on leave" in Vegas at the casino, I would "bet" that this woman thinks of him not so much as a man as she does one of the many "beggars and hangers on" that she's probably done this to in the past.
And because of all this, for the sake of his self-esteem, his dignity, and to "salvage" the memory of this time in his life, I believe he should end it officially. But NOT in an emotional way------in a calm, logical, decisive way, spoken in an even tone.
Something like:
"Hey, "Insert Chick-Name" , I've been thinking...you're RIGHT. There REALLY are a lot of changes in store for both of us in a few months. A lot of new things to experience and a lot of new things to discover. I believe it's better that we go our separate ways NOW to give each other the freedom to do what's best for each of us.
I wish you well.
You take care of yourself."
Of course, the exact verbiage is debatable, but the bottom line is that "if" Brian123 ENDS this relationship that's been on life support LONGER than he'd probably care to admit------HE will be able to walk away from a position of INNER STRENGTH and not "weakness".
BUT make no mistake:
This is NOT about teaching the woman a lesson or trying to get BACK at her. Most men here already know that you can't make a woman learn shyt if she's already at the point where she no longer cares about you. No, what this is about is Brian123 giving himself his OWN closure-----and at the same time, be able to look back on this episode in his life as a TURNING POINT:
The time in his life where he "Manned THE FUKK Up" and made a quality decision to show HIMSELF the respect that this woman was too chickenshyt to show him.
The time in his life where he RECOGNIZED that life doesn't always have to be about what "happens" to him---------but about HOW he reacts to what happens.
I believe if Brian123 does TODAY what he knows he'll feel BEST about tomorrow, then the faster the speed will be at which he'll recover from the "exit wounds" that he has sustained from this disinterested woman as she LEAVES his life.
Brian123...Soldier on.
