GF Moving in?

[WORKEROUTER]

I've been considering my GF of 4 months to move in with me over the summer. I currently rent a room in a big house. Anyway, right now she lives in the dorms, and during the summer, she usually moves into a frat house (frat houses generally open their doors to girls, particularly soririties, to stay during the summer, since sororities aren't open during the summer). The reason is that it is extremely cheap to live there during the summer.

The other possibility for her would be living with me.

The problem here is that I am caught in a tight situation. I really don't like the idea of her living in a frat house with a bunch of horny ass guys all summer. She's bound to get hit on, and I really don't want to put up with any kind of bullsh*t. On the other hand, I don't particularly like the idea of her moving in with me, just because I want my space. It would be cheaper for me since she'd be paying half the rent, but still, the idea of having to share everything seems annoying.

It seems like either way, the relationship can faulter. If she moves in, then I feel like we're practically married. It seems like it would be confining, especially considering we've only been dating for a few months. Plus, if she moves in with me, I feel like I might become too attached. Let's face it: eventually we are probably going to break up. Living with a girl would totally destroy my game, and I am afraid it would result in oneitis. On the other hand, I can't stand the idea of her living in a frat house. The idea of dozens of guys being living with her is not particularly comforting. After all, I do like the girl.



So what do I do here? She's really excited about the idea of moving in with me, but I certainly don't want to do anything stupid.

 

[Mortukai]

but I certainly don't want to do anything stupid.

Moving in with a girlfriend of 4 months is very stupid.

Moving in with a girlfriend of anything less than 2 years is regular stupid.

Moving in with a girlfriend ever is only slightly less stupid, but still significantly stupider than the alternative.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

NEVER move in with a woman before spending a week or more together AWAY on vacation. Trust me, there are tons of dynamics that come out during a vacation that would take longer to notice if you move in together first.

 

[NewMan]

really don't like the idea of her living in a frat house with a bunch of horny ass guys all summer. She's bound to get hit on, and I really don't want to put up with any kind of bullsh*t.

Don't base your decision on fear.

Don't move in with her "Just in case" she get's hit on. If she's going to fvck around on you - she's going to do it anyways - Frat living or not.

I don't particularly like the idea of her moving in with me, just because I want my space

I think you answered your own question.

Enjoy your time off school.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

So you guys don't think I should let her move in?

What if she starts hanging out with the guys in her house? It just seems like it would be hard having a gf who is living with a bunch of guys all the time.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
So you guys don't think I should let her move in?

What if she starts hanging out with the guys in her house? It just seems like it would be hard having a gf who is living with a bunch of guys all the time.

Well, it's your choice whether you want to lock your princess away in a tower in hopes of protecting her from dragons or you can work on your own knightly skills to be more capable of taking on those dragons yourself (if necessary).

 

[WORKEROUTER]

I think you are right Francisco. Really the only reason I would let her move in is because I hate the idea of her living with a bunch of frat guys. But the truth is that she'll really do whatever the hell she wants. I should focus on myself being better and more of a challenge than worrying about how I can shelter her.

But in terms of telling her, what is the best way? I have already consented to her moving in, and like I said, she's excited about it. I don't want her to get all pissed off about it.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
So you guys don't think I should let her move in?

What if she starts hanging out with the guys in her house? It just seems like it would be hard having a gf who is living with a bunch of guys all the time.

Why don't you find a chick you can actually trust?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by MetalFortress
Why don't you find a chick you can actually trust?

You'lll learn that trust has little to do with the other person. What matters with trust is your ability to handle whatever that other person does. Allowing someone else to determine your level of trust is another form of relinquishing you personal power.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
I think you are right Francisco. Really the only reason I would let her move in is because I hate the idea of her living with a bunch of frat guys. But the truth is that she'll really do whatever the hell she wants. I should focus on myself being better and more of a challenge than worrying about how I can shelter her.

But in terms of telling her, what is the best way? I have already consented to her moving in, and like I said, she's excited about it. I don't want her to get all pissed off about it.

Well, you stepped into something squishy by opening the option with her without really considering it. The only way to combat it is to reply as a woman would.

Consider telling her that in your haste to become her 'White Knight,' you thought that moving in together would be the solution. Tell her that YOU feel that it would be moving too fast and that you would not want to take such a step that could jeopardize the relationship. If you must, tell her that you would like to take things slowly. That should give her a bit of a shock...

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Look... Frat guys are just regular guys. They have hearts and souls. So when you help her move in, make sure and make friends with all the guys. If you earn a little respect, it will go a long way. From personal experience... I find it much harder to steal a girl from a guy Ive met (who demonstrates any kind of game) than someone I havent... and Im a pretty immoral person. Enjoy youre space, keep on seducing her, make an impression on the frat guys.

By the way, Francisco, I dont regularly post on this forum but from what Ive read you really have youre head on straight, keep it up.

 

[DJ Hawtness]

Become friends with the "frat brothers." It will make them think twice with sleeping with your girl, since you guys have created a friendship bond.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by TonyTheTigerOI
Look... Frat guys are just regular guys. They have hearts and souls. So when you help her move in, make sure and make friends with all the guys. If you earn a little respect, it will go a long way. From personal experience... I find it much harder to steal a girl from a guy Ive met (who demonstrates any kind of game) than someone I havent... and Im a pretty immoral person. Enjoy youre space, keep on seducing her, make an impression on the frat guys.

By the way, Francisco, I dont regularly post on this forum but from what Ive read you really have youre head on straight, keep it up.

That's a good suggestion too. But still, if he still has that uneasy feeling about trust, it will only help just so much.

Thanks for the kudos too!

 

[TheRelic]

Am I the only one with a girl that won't visit a house with 2 male friends alone, let alone share a house with another bloke?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

No DJ Relic, you are not alone, but DJ Workrouter fears that his hor will act out her hor tendencies!! He knows that she is a hor and will do what a hor desires!!! Hors are for everybody and not just for you workroiuter!!

Save the "moving in" crap for your wife as it should be!!! How old are you???? 20?? For goodness sakes - be responsible for yourself!!!

 

[LuvMyArmyMan]

and why cant she move home or move into a sorority house or sublet, live alone, or sublet an live with a friend??? why does it have to be either with you or at a fraternity house?

I dunno about your school but at my school only members or alumni are allowed to live at the houses, regardless of if its summer or not and i'm surprised that the university is letting women move into fraternity houses.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
No DJ Relic, you are not alone, but DJ Workrouter fears that his hor will act out her hor tendencies!! He knows that she is a hor and will do what a hor desires!!! Hors are for everybody and not just for you workroiuter!!

Save the "moving in" crap for your wife as it should be!!! How old are you???? 20?? For goodness sakes - be responsible for yourself!!!

18

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
18

You are 18 and iyou want to live with a girl?? I don't believe it!! Are you insane? Are you lonely? Do your parents know that you want a wife at 18?

If you move in together she will know all of your business and you hers 24/7!

I can tell by you being upset with her if she moves with these other dudes in the same building that if she moves in with you you will try to control where she goes on a daily basis and I guarantee you that you will be fighting with this chick constantly over her whereabouts and will only make things worse in the relationship.

I know you'll save money on the rent but when she is irresponsible and she doesn't pay one month and forces you to pay for the whole rent you'll argue over this too!!

If she eats too many of your oreo cookies and leaves you the crumbs then you'll be infuriated and argue about "cookie ettiquete"!!

This is a bad dea all around, especially with sharing of the cookies!!!l!!!

Oh, did I mention that you'll be emotionally attached and be pvssy-whippped wothin a month and that you'll be heartbroken at 18 when the hor leaves you!!! Then you'll come crying on SoSuave and tell s how the hor did you wrong!

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
You are 18 and iyou want to live with a girl?? I don't believe it!! Are you insane? Are you lonely? Do your parents know that you want a wife at 18?

If you move in together she will know all of your business and you hers 24/7!

I can tell by you being upset with her if she moves with these other dudes in the same building that if she moves in with you you will try to control where she goes on a daily basis and I guarantee you that you will be fighting with this chick constantly over her whereabouts and will only make things worse in the relationship.

I know you'll save money on the rent but when she is irresponsible and she doesn't pay one month and forces you to pay for the whole rent you'll argue over this too!!

If she eats too many of your oreo cookies and leaves you the crumbs then you'll be infuriated and argue about "cookie ettiquete"!!

This is a bad dea all around, especially with sharing of the cookies!!!l!!!

Oh, did I mention that you'll be emotionally attached and be pvssy-whippped wothin a month and that you'll be heartbroken at 18 when the hor leaves you!!! Then you'll come crying on SoSuave and tell s how the hor did you wrong!

You are absolutely right. Obviously we aren't going to be together forever here. And I am sure she knows this. Why become so attached?

But how am I suppose to deal with the fact of her moving in with a house full of guys? Everyday, if they throw a party or something, or just start hanging out, I KNOW she'll be getting hit on. Afterall, she's hot, and she knows how to be flirty. Imagining this is already pissing me off. It just seems like a hard thing to handle!

 

[squirrels]

Dude, if you don't want her there, don't invite her to stay there.

It's that simple.

On the other hand, it'd be a hell of a trial-by-fire for your relationship with her, but the hard part will be kicking her ass out if it goes awry.

But all of this is just shadows of the REAL issues here:

1) if she moves in with me, I feel like I might become too attached - If you're worried about becoming attached and clingy and all oneitis-y if she moves in, then you're not at a stage of your romantic development where you're READY to be living with a girl.

2) What if she starts hanging out with the guys in her house? - If you're worried about her being in a house full of dudes, it means either you're not secure enough to hold your ground and keep your woman from screwing around with other guys, or it means you believe your girl is going to end up hooking up with these guys (or is too stupid to see that fratboys just do these things for a chance at getting laid)


The only thing you can be certain of here is that those dudes in the frat house WILL try to get her drunk, WILL try to get her partying with them, and WILL try to get sexual with her.

I dropped a sorority girl once because of that sh!t...she played all prim and proper around me, but she was on birth control and I wasn't the one she was fvcking. It was partly that I didn't feel like I could compete with a bunch of guys in a fun party setting a hundred miles away and partly because I thought she was giving me the run-around as far as sex goes while she was fooling around with fratties.

I regret letting her go sometimes, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.