GF Lied to me

[Crissco]

Gonna cut to the chase. I tend to get a bit angry when she mentions guys, even innocent stuff, like her lab partner in school going to the city with his GF, or whatever. It happens bc of my past and i find it disrespectful

Tonight she told me she was hanging out with 3 girlfriends, which i belived no problem, posted a FB status with her GFs, then one of her GFs posted something about a guy, one guy who was a friend showed up.

Me and the GF talked on the phone, told me about her night, made it seem like it was her and her 2 GFs and her. Then i saw the status and confronted her.

Her reason being because she didnt know how i would react, and she is right on that part. But its the fact she lied that pisses me off right now.

SoSuave, what would you guys do here? Soft next? Which is what im thinking of doing...

 

[Slickster]

Which came first? The jealousy or the lying? It's a chicken vs. the egg debate that goes no where.

Trust is a two way street. If one person has trust issues then its up to the other to make that person feel right about the relationship. "Honey, you don't have to worry about sh!t like this. I'm with YOU."

If you don't have that then the relationship is doomed anyway.

 

[Crissco]

Which came first? The jealousy or the lying? It's a chicken vs. the egg debate that goes no where.

Trust is a two way street. If one person has trust issues then its up to the other to make that person feel right about the relationship. "Honey, you don't have to worry about sh!t like this. I'm with YOU."

If you don't have that then the relationship is doomed anyway.

The jealousy on my part came first

 

[Slickster]

Fair enough.

What you need to say is, sorry for being a jealous guy but I have been burned too many times in the past. You lying to me isn't going to make things any better either. I understand why you did it but if we continue on this path it's already over. There's no use arguing over who is to blame, but I want to try to make things better between us. I need to trust you more but you also have to make sure I have reason to. I need you to be open and honest with me because I really think we have a chance at something great here. I'm willing to work at it, if you are.....?

 

[Desdinova]

Honestly, I don't give a damn about stuff like that. When things become consistent with a "guy friend", then I have problems with it.

 

[The Duke]

Crissco- you remind me of a woman! You need to work on your insecurities and stop using your past as an excuse for your pathetic behavior. Your girl also needs slapped.


But the moral of the story is..........
I don't think this girl lied because she was trying to hide anything. She lied so she wouldn't have to deal with your pu$$y ass feminine insecurities. She did so
to escape your drama she knew you would create. I'll bet your girl complains about you all the time.

 

[st_99]

I tend to get a bit angry when she mentions guys, even innocent stuff, like her lab partner in school going to the city with his GF, or whatever. It happens bc of my past and i find it disrespectful

you're spewing inferiority and betaniss.

this is not attractive.

 

[Mike32ct]

It depends if she KNEW (ahead of time) that the guy was going to show up.

If she knew before the meet up a dude was joining them and she kept it quiet, that's not cool.

On the other hand, if the original plan was to ONLY meet up with her gfs, but one of these AW friends texted some dude to join them, then your gf did nothing wrong. Who her gf invited at the last minute is beyond her control.

 

[backbreaker]

here's the thing

reverse the rolls. imagine you are her and she is you with all your insecurities.

now assuming that she didnt' know the guy was gonna come along, what would you have possibly done different? what's the point in getting you getting your GF riled up over something meaningless if you can help it?

her lying iMHO has more to do with wanting to avoid an unnecessary confrontation than it has to do with her cheating on you if at all. you want a freaking parole report every weekend from her? thats not a relationship that's probation

i mean **** i don't tell my wife every ****ing thing i do, i don't have to she trust me she doesn't tell me every little thing every guy does i trust her. she knows what lines not to cross and i know what lines not to cross.

you need to fix your ****

 

[Nutz]

The bigger question is why are you so bothered by this? It tells me you're way too invested in this relationship. You're in your 20s, things should be much more casual. Wait until you're 30-35 before getting serious to the point you appear to be now.

 

[Boilermaker]

Gonna cut to the chase. I tend to get a bit angry when she mentions guys, even innocent stuff, like her lab partner in school going to the city with his GF, or whatever. It happens bc of my past and i find it disrespectful

Tonight she told me she was hanging out with 3 girlfriends, which i belived no problem, posted a FB status with her GFs, then one of her GFs posted something about a guy, one guy who was a friend showed up.

Me and the GF talked on the phone, told me about her night, made it seem like it was her and her 2 GFs and her. Then i saw the status and confronted her.

Her reason being because she didnt know how i would react, and she is right on that part. But its the fact she lied that pisses me off right now.

SoSuave, what would you guys do here? Soft next? Which is what im thinking of doing...

Wow, dude. Why don't you relax a little? I mean she didn't make out with that guy , did she?

You are bound to get angry with an attitude like this. Never confront them on this kind of shít, it goes nowhere.

Being jealous on occasion may be OK, but if she's going to lie, she's going to lie. You confronting her will only push her the other way.

Whether she has a tendency to cheat or she's window-shopping can only be judged by you. You do that, and tell us more.

On the other hand, cut this disrespectful bullcrap when she mentions another swinging dïck with a girlfriend.

That's just insecure and immature.

 

[romanticman]

Your jealousy makes her have to hide the truth because you bust her balls. No excuse for lying but if you dont adress your issues no woman will want to be on the level with you

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Look make your own rules.

If you don't like your girl going out with guys, your never going to like it. No matter how much anyone else says your tripping.

I find it disrespectful for

a girl to communicate with any guy on more then a hi-bye basis. Especially the type of beauty's I be dealing with. (Unless its business or family)

So when I qualify a girl to be in a meaningful relationship with me then she will agree with this. And in the same return I give her the same respect. Without this then we will just be casually dating and I will be looking for more broads.

People can say I'm probably uptight but I know at the end of the day I will be happy in my relationship. If a girl can't respect it then I'll be happy having a rotation of 10 girls. I'm not going to act like I like something I don't. Especially if I'm supposed to be the leader of the relationship.

 

[BMX]

You aren't mature enough to be in this relationship with her. It is already heading downhill. Leave soon and sort out your own problems before re-attaching to any given female.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Crissco,

You'll have to read some of these postings with a sense of humor. If you think you've got troubles?... well, as you can see, half the responses are from so-called 'artists' offered nothing more than a posting opportunity to help boost their own egos. The fact that you followed up and accepted your part shows far more character.

From what I've read, it doesn't look like you two have broken up. This also says that you must be doing something decent or she would have already done this. Tread carefully from now on because if not, she will do the breaking off.

I realize that it's sometimes easier said than done, but you need to try hard to adjust your mindset. Think back. At some point, you were probably wrongly judged. Seems like some time when we grew up, our folks accused us wrongly. Think back on how this made you feel (this is how your gal is probably processing). Now, think back on how you reacted (or wanted to react). I'm not going to say that women react the same way as men, but just letting you know that no one likes being wrongly judged and in relationships, no one (and I've been there with women) likes being judged by actions of someone in their past.

Next time you chat or see each other, try to come across as confident and only touch on the subject lightly. Some people here may disagree, but if you carry yourself right, you can even laugh at your self ... but keep that part very brief! Then move on to 'fun topics.' If she wants to talk about it more, keep it brief but use the understanding card ... "Yeah (sympathetic tone) , I bet that made you feel really confused, sad and guarded.".. " I can now understand how you feel. Let's watch a movie and put that behind us." etc...

 

[( . )( . )]

Fair enough.

What you need to say is, sorry for being a jealous guy but I have been burned too many times in the past.

What kind of garbage chick advice is that?

OP your inner frame is weak, your projecting your insecurities, your putting too much investment and overthinking into this chicks social circles. Spend some time internalizing "inner game", there's 101 resources available out there.

Seriously your way off on this one. Ideally you should be at a point where if hypothetically you came home to find this chick being railed by someone else it shouldn't phase you all that much. Get to that point and you will ALWAYS have the hand in every relationship for the rest of your life, ironically you'll also decrease the chances of that scenario every happening to you by ten fold. You getting all pissy over facebook he said she said sh!t shows you've got along way to go.

Good luck.

 

[corrector]

I think it's better to be single and have no one and feel lonely than be in a relationship where you feel insecure. At least the former represents a truth value while the latter is deceptive. Yeah, you have someone, if you have to be stressed like that then doesn't that just defeat the purpose?