First post. If its not in line with the forum just delete it. Hurting pretty bad right now. Not sure if I made the right call.
Got crushed after my first gf of 8 years left me. Developed the red pill and focused on money/career/hobbies and lifting.
A year later I developed feelings for a friend at work. I was 25 with no debt and she was 31, recently divorced (she left him), with a 3 yo from a previous marriage and $40k in debt plus a mortgage. She was by far one of the most beautiful girls ive met. Out of my league. She understood me in ways my ex never did. We had known each other a couple years. However she was a spender and I am a saver. For example, I live with my parents, have an old car (she refused to ride in it) , and am aggressivly paying off what little debt I have / investing. She talked constantly about how difficult it was running a house alone with a child. However she always seemed to plan vacations, buy expensive makeup, never cook at home, and buy lots of unneccisary clothes for her kid. I always drove when we went out and mostly paid for meals. Seemed like she wanted to go out to eat almost every meal and I came over almost daily. She never wanted to cook in even if I offered to do the cooking. I began to pay a few small monthly bills for her and would buy groceries for her from time to time. This is in addition to all the work I did at her house (mowing, landscaping, changing oil in car, etc). I even purchased a trimmer to use at her house bc she didnt have one. She still complained and began to withdraw emotionally, sexually, and became irritable/disrespectful often in front of her kid. I would have been happy to have paid half the bills if I was living there but I wasnt. Her behavior made me wary of moving in and the relationship unstable.
The final straw was when she wanted to build a fence/new deck at her house. I told her it was a waste of money bc I didnt plan for us to be in her house for more than 5 years. She wanted it anyway and took out a home eq. Once the price started climbing, she asked me if I was going to help her on it once I moved in. I told her no as I didnt agree with buying it. She said she was tired with me not helping out and said shes done. Seems like Im spending around $400-$500 a month on her and she doesnt appreciate any of it. This is in addition to the hours of work I put in around her house. Its come to the point whenever I see her, Im dropping $30 on food or working my ass off at her house. Told her if we were going to make it work, we had to both agree on finances and large purchases we made. She told me there was stuff she wanted and she would get it with or without me. That she wasnt going to pinch pennies the rest of her life. I really love this girl/her kid but im afriad her spending habits would have been trouble in the future. I'm imagining busting my ass at work and seeing money flowing out of "our" checking account.
Did I make the right call in this 1.5 year relationship by letting her walk?
Got crushed after my first gf of 8 years left me. Developed the red pill and focused on money/career/hobbies and lifting.
A year later I developed feelings for a friend at work. I was 25 with no debt and she was 31, recently divorced (she left him), with a 3 yo from a previous marriage and $40k in debt plus a mortgage. She was by far one of the most beautiful girls ive met. Out of my league. She understood me in ways my ex never did. We had known each other a couple years. However she was a spender and I am a saver. For example, I live with my parents, have an old car (she refused to ride in it) , and am aggressivly paying off what little debt I have / investing. She talked constantly about how difficult it was running a house alone with a child. However she always seemed to plan vacations, buy expensive makeup, never cook at home, and buy lots of unneccisary clothes for her kid. I always drove when we went out and mostly paid for meals. Seemed like she wanted to go out to eat almost every meal and I came over almost daily. She never wanted to cook in even if I offered to do the cooking. I began to pay a few small monthly bills for her and would buy groceries for her from time to time. This is in addition to all the work I did at her house (mowing, landscaping, changing oil in car, etc). I even purchased a trimmer to use at her house bc she didnt have one. She still complained and began to withdraw emotionally, sexually, and became irritable/disrespectful often in front of her kid. I would have been happy to have paid half the bills if I was living there but I wasnt. Her behavior made me wary of moving in and the relationship unstable.
The final straw was when she wanted to build a fence/new deck at her house. I told her it was a waste of money bc I didnt plan for us to be in her house for more than 5 years. She wanted it anyway and took out a home eq. Once the price started climbing, she asked me if I was going to help her on it once I moved in. I told her no as I didnt agree with buying it. She said she was tired with me not helping out and said shes done. Seems like Im spending around $400-$500 a month on her and she doesnt appreciate any of it. This is in addition to the hours of work I put in around her house. Its come to the point whenever I see her, Im dropping $30 on food or working my ass off at her house. Told her if we were going to make it work, we had to both agree on finances and large purchases we made. She told me there was stuff she wanted and she would get it with or without me. That she wasnt going to pinch pennies the rest of her life. I really love this girl/her kid but im afriad her spending habits would have been trouble in the future. I'm imagining busting my ass at work and seeing money flowing out of "our" checking account.
Did I make the right call in this 1.5 year relationship by letting her walk?
