GF is worried that it's getting too serious, too fast... recommendations?

[Shivastorm_88]

She told me yesterday she's a bit scared because things have been progressing very smoothly between us, very fast, and sometimes she's scared we are already settling into a routine... Which I fins silly considering she's still a student, her life is anything but routine.

What do you guys recommend, what would you do if you were in my shoes? My first reflex is to cut down on the amount of tines that I see her just to "hang out" and go more often on dates for a bit, as to make her comfortable in the transition.

She's 25, I'm 26, we've been dating for 6 months. We typically see each other 5x per weeks (that includes when we rockxlinb together)

 

[LMFAO]

5 times a week is way too much. A 6 month relationship is not marriage. Give her the the line about you wanting for things to flow naturally as well and that you and your ex-girlfriend tried to force things too fast and it worked out less well. Just smile it off. She'll get the gist that you're are not actually as serious as she may think about it. See her no more than a couple of times a week, other times feel free to bang other girls.

 

[Desdinova]

5 times a week is way too much.

Agreed. At my best, I usually see the girl 3 times per week. You know you're in the right spot when she's complaining about not seeing you enough.

 

[MOTU]

I agree with LMFAO and Desdinova, and, that could be a sign she is losing attraction to you. Are you running solid relationship game? You have to make sure she knows you have options, stay focused on goals other than her, be physically dominant and display leadership. If you have turned AFC, she'll lose attraction fast.

 

[Zarky]

OP you should be dating other women too. Date enough women that you can't physically see any one of them more than twice a week (at the very most). Once you've hit that point, you can stop adding new women to your rotation.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Withdrawal attention, stop texting her, stop seeing her. She is losing interest in you because you are not a challenge and is going to dump you soon unless you distance yourself and make her wonder. Right now she has you wrapped around her finger. Stomp the brakes hard and make her pursue.

 

[The411]

She told me yesterday she's a bit scared because things have been progressing very smoothly between us, very fast, and sometimes she's scared we are already settling into a routine... Which I fins silly considering she's still a student, her life is anything but routine.

What do you guys recommend, what would you do if you were in my shoes? My first reflex is to cut down on the amount of tines that I see her just to "hang out" and go more often on dates for a bit, as to make her comfortable in the transition.

She's 25, I'm 26, we've been dating for 6 months. We typically see each other 5x per weeks (that includes when we rockxlinb together)

Your chick is testing you. She may say she's "scared" because things are progressing "smoothly" between you two so she wants to "spice things up" by having that missing him feeling. She's also testing you though she may not even be aware of it. If she starts giving the orders in the relationship as in your example you'll be skipping to her loo.

Agree with her. And "amplify" but not in a negative or "get her back" way as if your upset over it but do your own thing, see her less, don't respond to her texts right away. Just show her by your actions you "agree" with her and see her only a few times a week at most. Let her miss you and have things go unsmoothly like she wants.

You don't do it in a mean way or trying to "get back" at her. You just show her you're a man and have things to do yourself...by your actions...even IF things aren't going to work out in the end.

She'll eventually question if you're "mad" or start calling you texting you more or wanting to see you more IF she truly wants you more than being worried about things "running too smoothly".

Both of you might be up each others azzes too much so do your own thing for a while while still seeing her at times. And don't be afraid to lose the chick by doing that. If it's meant to be it will. If not. You should be a COMPLETE person with or WITHOUT any chick or "needing" to date other chicks as a band aid for low self confidence. As in not trying to sabotage your own relationship by cheating on her.

You slowly give her space and find your own things to do. Let her then start wanting to see you more. Even if she DOES. Don't just follow seeing her the same way five times a week again. Keep it as less and do you as a man.

TBH you two were probably seeing each other too much. 5 times a week for six months should be three times a week MAX.

Edit: Honestly think of it like hanging out with dudes five times a week for six months. After a while either you or them need your own time and get bored with the same old routine. So you take a break and hang out a week later while each doing your own sh1t.

My friends and I have the inside joke of when we get tired of hanging out or hanging out at each others places for too long, or out etc. for too much that it's like: "Times up! You or I need to fvck off for a while." in a joking way and then hang out later on in the week or the next. hahaha

 

[asa_don]

that's b.s,, no woman comfortable and happy in a smooth relationship is going to be scared it's progressing nicely, she is looking for a way out afraid to break up, withdrawing attention won't help when she's decided about moving on, look for new chicks who aren't scared.

Agreed. At my best, I usually see the girl 3 times per week. You know you're in the right spot when she's complaining about not seeing you enough.

not always, if a woman feels she isn't getting enough from her man, she will look elsewhere, plenty of other guys are willing to step in.

low IL, prepare for crash landing. None of my LTRs every said anything like this, though they will say sht like "Im scared at how fast Im falling for you" blah blah...they would not imply you're boring lol.

exactly, it's a way at hinting to break up.

 

[Heisenberg]

Jesus. 5x a week? I thought that was a typo. I totally understand why she thins it's getting too serious too fast. What she's really telling you is that she could use some space. She's not saying she doesn't like you, she just wants the opportunity to miss you.

How do you even have time to see a girl 5x a week? What else do you have going on in your life? If you're in an exclusive LTR and are basically living together, seeing each other that much makes sense because, you know, you live in the same square footage.

I don't even know how you can see someone you don't live with 5x a week. Even if I tried, I don't think I could do it. Or want to.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Just recorded a podcast answering your question - check it out HERE!

 

[Pardner]

Don't hang out with her so much.

Keep her as plate.

Get some new options for a girlfriend, she is starting head out the door.

Just recorded a podcast answering your question - check it out HERE!

Seriously dude, quit advertising in the forum.

 

[Top Of The Game]

1. You're seeing her a bit too much.
2. You're behavior when you do see her is probably always the same old thing.
3. You're probably also eating at the same old places and other activities that are now boring her to death.

Consider yourself forewarned from her own mouth.

Sucks but if you want to keep her around change up.

 

[Jaylan]

Agree with the others. 5 times a week is excessive when youre above college age. Usually when you see someone all the time, it moves the relationship along more quickly...and you become overly comfortable.\ with each other rather quickly.

Adults out of school shouldn't be seeing someone this much, this early on. I see my lady 1 to 2 times a week...with it being once a week most of the time. I think its been good for us as it gives us time to handle our own lives. It also gives us time to miss each other.

This all said, Id propose making things less serious by casually dating other women. I say this because your gf's words sound very alarming. She's basically giving the signal that she may be ready to bail sometime not far into the future.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Thanks for your answers guys. I can try to give a bit more specific information. When I say about 5x a week, that also includes when we rockclimb together, which is 3x per week. However, we won't necessarily end up spending all of those nights together afterwards. Unless something outstanding, typically on the weekend we will spend one evening with our friends, and one together (and the following day)

Anywhoo, I guess the general consensus is to see her a bit less often, but rather make it count when we do (go on dates)?

Shouldn't be too hard, I'm beginning a new training phase for climbing, I'll be doing it 4-5 per week, but we don't have the same schedule

Edit: Texting isn't too much of an issue, as we don't text often, and usually it's for a purpose (set up the meet). However we do one occasion (maybe once a week?) have a small conversation via text, I guess I could avoid that as well.